‘See I told you I didn’t have to keep sitting down all the time.’ I said. ‘Why don’t you sit down James, and I’ll help Marsha make the tea.’
James settled himself in front of the telly, looking much more like his old self. Now that the pressure was off him and Marsha seemed to know what she was doing he could relax, and he did. In fact he relaxed so much and made himself so comfortable that you’d have thought he hung out at Marsha’s every day while he waited for a pregnant lady to have her baby.
In the kitchen I asked Marsha what was wrong with Flora. ‘It’s probably nothing.’ Marsha said. ‘Just teething I expect, but you can’t be too careful. So what about James?’
‘What about him? I told you we’re just friends.’
‘Yes I know, but oh my God.’
‘What do you mean oh my God, oh my God what’s he doing here, or oh my God what were you thinking?’
‘No oh my God he’s gorgeous.’
‘Oh that. Yes I suppose he is a bit.’
‘And you turned him down for my brother?’ she said incredulously.
‘Well Rob’s not exactly . . ugly.’
‘No . . maybe . . but . .’
‘Oh what do you know he’s your brother, of course you’re not going to see him the same way other women do. Trust me, Rob’s a bit of an oh my God himself.’
Marsha smiled at me in a pitying sort of way. ‘You don’t think you might be a bit biased or anything do you?’
‘Well maybe a bit.’ I said smiling. ‘But only a bit. Have you heard from him or Mac?’
‘No not since yesterday when Mac said Rob was due to get to Edinburgh sometime today.’
‘I could have had the baby by the time he gets back here.’
‘Yes I suppose you could have. How long now since the last contraction?’
I stuck my head round the door of the living room and asked James how long it had been, and he checked his watch again. ‘Fourteen minutes, why have you had another one?’
‘No not yet.’
‘I thought it was supposed to get a bit shorter each time?’ James said.
‘Yeah it is.’
Marsha shooed me into the living room carrying the tea and coffee. She was about to put the mugs down when Mac walked in, closely followed by Rob.
‘Mac!’ She said quickly depositing the mugs and rushing over to hug him. ‘I thought you weren’t getting back until tomorrow?’
‘Well that was the plan, but your impatient brother here couldn’t wait, so we set off straight away.’
We all looked at Rob who was glaring at James.
‘Well you’re just in time.’ Marsha said brightly. ‘Judy’s just started having her contractions and luckily James was here with her, so she didn’t have to be on her own. Isn’t that good?’
‘Oh yes that’s really good and so lucky.’ Rob said dead pan. ‘Didn’t take you long then.’ Rob spat at me.
‘It’s not what you think.’ I said.
‘No. What is it then?’ Rob said with a face like thunder.
‘Rob for goodness sake, James was just helping. Good job too if you ask me, you wouldn’t want Judy to have to be on her own while she was in labour would you?’ Marsha said.
‘She doesn’t look like she’s in labour to me.’ Rob answered.
‘Well I was . . but I think it might have stopped now.’ I said lamely.
‘Stopped.’ Rob said. ‘How convenient, first you’re in labour so you call James, not your mum, or Shelley, or Marsha, but James. And then it’s stopped, just like that.’
‘Well if I didn’t think I was in labour what am I doing here downstairs with your sister? And I didn’t call James he just happened to be here when it started.’
‘Happened to be here.’ Rob repeated with decidedly sarcastic overtones.
‘Well you weren’t around were you?’ James said standing up. All this time he’d sat quietly while the conversation batted backward and forward over his head, but now he decided to join in.
‘I don’t think that’s any of your business.’ Rob said getting nasty and squaring up to James as if he was ready to punch him if he had to.
‘I think you’d better go.’ I said to James as I put myself between the two of them.
‘But the baby?’ James said forgetting all about Rob for a minute.
‘It seems to have stopped. It must have been a Braxton Hicks thingy.’
‘Come again?’ James said looking confused.
‘It’s a sort of practise for the real thing, nothing to worry about. I’ll call you. Thanks for being here, I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t been here with me.’
‘You’re sure you’re going to be alright, I’ll stay if you want me to.’ James said looking pointedly at Rob, almost daring him to say something.
‘Oh don’t mind me.’ Rob said.
‘No I won’t.’ James said giving me a hug while still glaring at Rob.
James left and after promising Marsha I’d phone her the minute anything happened I went back upstairs to my flat. She was a bit worried about me being on my own but I had to get out of there. Rob just stood mute staring into space the whole time, as if none of the last ten minutes had happened.
Well that went well I thought to myself. Great. The only way it could have been worse was if Rob had walked in and caught me kissing James not that it was very likely, the kissing I mean, but I guess Rob didn’t know that. So now what? All I could hope for was that Marsha would talk to him, I mean it seemed improbable that Rob was going to listen to anything I had to say right now under the circumstances.
After all the excitement, if that’s what you could call it, I decided to have a soak in the bath and try and calm down a bit. Ella had definitely stopped trying to be born and had gone to sleep as far as I could tell, but when I thought about it the whole Braxton stuff must mean that it wouldn’t be long now. As usual I was excited and terrified all at the same time, but at least the contractions hadn’t been as bad as I thought.
As I soaked and absent mindedly sponged water over my bump I started thinking. Things weren’t looking good, but . . and it was quite a big but . . Rob had been pretty miffed at seeing James sitting there in Marsha’s living room, and didn’t Mac say that it was Rob who wanted to get back straight away. That could only mean one thing . . he still cared about me. Why else would he have been in such a hurry and so angry with me?
For the first time since New Year’s Day I felt hope, and smiled to myself that maybe, just maybe, everything might turn out alright.
42
24th February – Week 38 + 5 Days
It had been just over a week since Rob got back and things couldn’t be worse. Well I suppose it wasn’t quite as bad as when I didn’t know where he was and if he was alright, but it was bad enough. At least when I didn’t know what was going on I had hope. Now though I didn’t even have that.
Last Friday morning Rob had come upstairs and asked if I was alright after my practise run at going into labour the night before, and to make sure it hadn’t all started up again. For a second or two I was ecstatic until I realised that he was only here on Marsha’s instructions, and probably not from any real concern of his own. But I wasn’t going to let that stop me, this was my chance to explain, and I wasn’t going to waste it, so I invited him in.
We stood just inside my front door looking at each other, neither of us sure what to say next. After an uncomfortable minute I said ‘you know you got it all wrong about what you overheard me saying to my mum.’
‘Marsha told me.’
‘I wasn’t trying to get you to marry me.’
Rob looked at me but didn’t answer and I couldn’t read his expression, it was deadpan and gave nothing away, so I ploughed on.
‘It was my mum who thought we should get married and that was because I’d told her you were the father, and well she’s always had a bit of a bee in her bonnet about me getting married anyway, for mum the whole reason I exist at all is so she can se
e me married off to someone. But I shouldn’t have told her you were Ella’s father, it was just that . . well if you knew my mum you’d understand. I had to tell her something, I didn’t even know you then not really, it was soon after that night we met at Zee Zee’s and I didn’t think we’d ever see each other again, and your name just sort of popped into my head you know, and . .’
I prattled on racing to say everything I’d had six weeks to rehearse, but rehearsal or not everything came out in a rush and in no particular order. Rob still didn’t answer and eventually I dried up and the uncomfortable silence returned
‘You didn’t have to leave like that, you didn’t even give me a chance to explain.’ I said turning away unable to look at him any longer.
‘I’m sorry, I should at least have told you before I went, but I was angry and I felt . . like you’d tricked me or something, lied to me. I had to get away, Mac was leaving and suddenly it seemed like a really good idea to just go with him for a few days.’
‘For six weeks you mean?’
‘Yes well I hadn’t planned on staying away that long but the weather was so bad I didn’t have a lot of choice.’
‘You could have phoned.’
‘I lost my mobile.’
‘Yes Marsha said, but still Rob you could have found a way to phone and at least let me know you were still alive.’
‘I was going to, but . . a week went by, and then two, and then I don’t know the longer I left it the harder it was, and I didn’t know what to say and . .’
‘I was really worried, nobody knew where you were or if we’d ever hear from you again.’
‘I’m sorry okay.’ He said tetchily. ‘But you seem to have survived okay.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Nothing, it doesn’t mean anything.’
‘Don’t tell me nothing, it very obviously does mean something. You seem to have survived okay.’ I parroted.
‘Well what was the Chippendale doing here last night?’
‘Oh so that’s what’s got you all riled up. James was here looking after me, being my friend.’
‘Yeah course he was.’ Rob said the sarcasm oozing out of him. ‘I can see how worried you were while I was away and how much you missed me, that’s why you were with him. Obvious isn’t it. Do you know I thought about you every day, worried about you every day? Wondered how you were coping or if the baby had been born yet? Did you know that?’
‘No I didn’t know that. How could I? You disappeared remember. I didn’t have a bloody clue what was going on.’
We glared at each other, both angry and neither of us willing to back down. Then the phone rang, it was James. Talk about bad timing.
As soon as Rob realised who it was he gave me a sardonic sneer and said ‘for God’s sake. I’ll go, and leave you to have some privacy with your good friend Chippy.’ Then he left slamming the door behind him.
James had phoned to make sure I was alright, and I suspect to check up on the Rob situation. I told him I was fine and hadn’t had any more Braxton Hicks, I didn’t mention Rob and James didn’t ask, but I could sort of feel it was on the tip of his tongue and he wanted to.
Then straight after that my mum phoned. With everything that had happened I’d almost forgotten about her date with Colin Stoddard. Apparently it had gone okay. Colin had worn his suit so that was alright. Poor guy, I mean if it ever got serious at all between him and Mum he’d have to wear his suit all the time. Anyway the dinner date had been a success. He’d taken her to Benito’s, the Italian place where I’d had my coming out party all those months ago, and the food’s really nice there, so not too much for Mum to complain about, and they’d arranged to go out again this coming weekend and spend the day in York.
‘Wow a day trip to York, that’ll be nice.’
‘It was Colin’s idea.’ My mum said defensively.
‘It’s okay Mum, you don’t have to make excuses. I think a day trip to York would be really nice, and why shouldn’t you go with Colin. He sounds like a nice bloke.’
‘Do you really think so?’
‘Yes, I mean I don’t really know him but from what you’ve told me . .’
‘And you’re not upset or anything?’
‘Why would I be upset?’
‘Well because he’s not . .’
‘Mum I don’t care if he’s the gas man and you shouldn’t either.’
‘I was going to say because he’s not your father.’
‘Oh. No I’m not upset about that either. You got divorced. Dad’s seeing Stella Frankham, and you’re seeing Colin. It’s fine.’
‘Well that’s good, I was a bit worried.’
This new version of my mum was a bit unnerving. I wasn’t used to my mum worrying about what I would think, but I suppose she’d spent her whole life worrying what other people thought, that’s mainly why she was always on my case, it wasn’t so much because she herself disapproved as what other people might think if I wasn’t quite up to scratch, and how that might reflect on her seeing as I was her daughter.
‘Anyway how are you?’ Mum said. ‘I’ve been half expecting a call every day to say you’re on the way to the hospital.’
‘Well you almost did get a call yesterday.’
I told her about the Braxton Hicks, and how I’d been sure this was it and Ella was on her way, but how it had just stopped as suddenly as it had started so no Ella, not yet anyway. And then I told her about Rob coming back. Well it just sort of slipped out while I was filling in all the details of the previous evening.
‘So are you back together again?’
‘No. He’s sulking because James was here.’
‘I don’t think I know a James, have you told me about him? Who is he?’
‘I have told you, he’s the one who helped me move remember and he’s just a friend.’ I was getting very tired of saying this to people, and briefly toyed with the idea of taking out an ad in a national paper with the headline JAMES IS JUST A FRIEND.
‘But Rob thinks he’s more, is that it?’
‘In a nutshell, yes.’
‘So where’s Rob been all this time?’
I explained about Rousay, and the weather, and the lost phone.
‘And then he came back to find you with this James.’
‘Yes. You make it sound like I was with him, with him. But I wasn’t, I’m not. James is a friend that’s all. He knows about Rob, knows that it’s Rob I love. He just happened to be here when all the Braxton stuff kicked off. What was he supposed to do, just say goodnight and leave me to it? No he stayed and helped me. Good job too because I’d have been pretty scared if I’d been on my own.’
‘I see, and have you explained all this to Rob.’
‘Yes.’
‘And?’
‘And he’s still sulking.’
‘And have you explained to him about all the lies you’d told me, which is why he left in the first place isn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘And?’
‘I don’t know if he believes me.’
‘Do you want me to talk to him?’
‘No.’ The last thing I wanted was for Mum to talk to Rob. I’d be quite happy if they never talked or even met each other, ever.
‘I could explain, tell him exactly what happened and how . .’
‘No. Mum you have to promise me that you won’t interfere.’
‘It’s not interfering if I’m helping is it?’
‘Yes it is. Promise me you won’t try and talk to him.’
‘Okay Judy, if that’s the way you want it, I promise.’
‘I mean it Mum, I really would rather you didn’t talk to Rob, I know you’re only trying to help but please don’t.’
‘Okay I’ve said I won’t haven’t I.’
‘Okay.’
‘If you had that scare last night thinking you were in labour, do you think I really ought to be going to York for the day?’
‘It’ll be fine. Ella’s not due until th
e tenth of March according to the hospital, and that’s another three weeks at least. Go to York for the day and have some fun with your fancy man.’
‘Please don’t call him that. I hate that expression.’ Now there’s the mother I’d grown up with. I knew she was lurking around here somewhere.
‘Sorry. Enjoy your day out with Colin then. There is that better?’
We said goodbye, and once again I promised to phone her the minute anything started. But I had every confidence that it wouldn’t be starting just yet. I might have another Braxton thingy, I mean who could predict that stuff, and at least I was a bit more prepared for it now, but the actual birth wasn’t due for three more weeks.
Rob had stayed out of my way since last Friday and I’d stayed out of his. Well I did pass him in the hall downstairs when I was taking the rubbish out on Monday night, and he sort of nodded, but didn’t say anything. Marsha came up to see me on Tuesday for a coffee, and told me what a stubborn arse her brother was, and I said ‘yeah tell me about it’. But apart from that the whole Rob and me thing was in limbo and going nowhere. It was all over and yet technically not quite over because neither of us had actually said ‘it’s over’. So in limbo.
Shelley and Tricia came over yesterday and I had a chance to show off Ella’s room. Of course they both went a bit soppy seeing all the cute baby stuff, I mean what woman wouldn’t, but especially Tricia. She was still a bit raw from her break-up with Daniel and said wistfully that she wished it was her having a baby. But then I told them both about the Rob situation and she seemed to cheer up a bit, I think it was just that she took comfort from the fact that she wasn’t the only one making a hash of relationships. Shelley on the other hand was genuinely concerned about me and how I was coping. Her relationship with Nick was jogging along nicely and I could almost smell the distinct whiff of wedding bells in the air sometime soon.
Shelley was still job hunting. She’d been for an interview as marketing manager at Schuster’s, and had been asked back for a second interview next Monday. Naturally she was really nervous, I mean not only was this a job, it was a brilliant job, a real step up for her if she got it. I said she’d walk it and that they’d be mad if they didn’t snap her up on the spot, course I didn’t really know if that was true but she needed all the confidence boosting she could get, and as her best friend it was my job to give it to her.
39 Weeks Page 31