‘Shit. Yes. Now it makes perfect sense.’
‘I didn’t meet her, only saw her with you. What was her name? Can you remember?’
‘Lena,’ he says, ‘she told me it was short for Magdelana.’
‘Mags,’ we both say together.
‘Our half sister, Leo.’ I met up with her a couple of days ago. I couldn’t help but think how she reminded me of you, Camilla, a hurt expression behind her eyes, a sharp mind. Despite what she told you, Camilla, her mother died some years ago which is when she found the letter from my father, buried in a box of treasures at the back of a wardrobe. She doesn’t have any children either, she’s very much alone. ‘She only has us now.’
‘Hang on,’ Leo says, ‘she was blackmailing your friend, probably the reason she killed herself.’
‘Me and Camilla were strangers for nearly twenty years, Leo. For most of it we both believed each other to be dead. Mags isn’t the cause of Camilla’s death. Mags has been alone too, and not because of anything she’s done, because of our father. The man she thought to be her father walked away when it all came out and her real father turned his back. But no one told her why. Before she found the letter, she was angry, sad, dejected. She and her mother, cast aside as worthless. Then after her mother died, she found the letter and began to think – I’d dumped her as a friend because I knew, that you dumped her because you found out.’
‘Sad but – even so…’
‘None of us know what we’d do in someone else’s shoes, Leo. I like her, I think you will too. I’ve told her we’ll meet up sometime soon, next time you’re over here maybe.’
‘Okay, maybe…’ he says. ‘If you’ll think about coming to Miami, meet your nieces and nephew?’
I smile at this. ‘I can’t go running away again just yet. I’ve a restaurant to take care of in Edinburgh first. My business partner, Drew, the one I told you about on the phone, we’ve loose ends to tie up. Everything I have is secured in the restaurant.’
‘Not everything,’ Leo nods at me, ‘you’ve your share of the money, remember, from the Cornwall house sale. Mum and Dad would want you to have it, and I insist.’
‘Thanks, Leo. If you’re still sure, I’ll take it after all. But only because I want Mags to have her share, too.’ I raise my hand as Leo attempts to jump in, ‘it’s only fair, Leo, she’s lost out on so much already.’
Sometime on, Leo walks me back to my car. Kisses and hugs me goodbye until the next time, tomorrow he returns home to Miami. We’ve shared memories, tears, laughter and heart-felt tête-à-têtes during his short visit. I’ve learned all about his family, the one I’ve watched from a distance for some years.
Camilla, tomorrow, we’ll be together again at the crematorium, Kyle has agreed, I can bring some small part of you away with me. I’ve been thinking – like me, you desperately wanted to travel, didn’t you, it saddens me deeply, you never made it. But, I’ve finally accepted Leo’s invitation to stay with him in Miami as soon as I can, not forever, only until I’m ready to face the world as me again. While I’m there, together, we’ll find somewhere, me and you, somewhere you’d love, somewhere original, somewhere that’s – very you, where I can finally leave you and set you free. Me, I’ll be at last crossing that Atlantic with no ties, no expectations, no hopes, only as me, as I am, scars and all.
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Sarah Simpson’s next book is coming in 2019
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Acknowledgments
A huge thank you to my family. Anth, my husband, for your interminable faith and support and for the many, many countless hours you’ve tolerated me whilst I’ve been locked in my own world (more than usual). My children – Katie, Amy and Ben, for your belief, for always making me so proud and for being my determination and motivation each day. My mum and dad for simply being the best mum and dad, for always being there, whatever and whenever, you’re both so incredibly selfless and kind. All of you mean everything to me and have played a fundamental part in my writing, for reading and re-reading, then re-reading, but mostly for your unfaltering support and encouragement, I really couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you, really doesn’t come anywhere close.
Now for all the remarkable people who have helped guide my story from a pipe dream to a book. A heart-felt thank you to Broo Doherty, for honestly being the best agent anyone could wish for. For your relentless belief in my writing, for holding my hand through all processes, your honesty, empathy, friendship and knowledge is something I do not take for granted. And of course to all of the amazing team at DHH Literary Agency, especially, David Headley and Emily Glenister, this team is the backbone of my journey.
Another huge thank you to my wonderfully talented editor, Lucy Gilmour – for your genuine reassuring enthusiasm and belief in my work and of course – in me, I really wouldn’t be here without you. To the assiduous Nikky Ward for your brilliant hard work and creativity in digital alchemy, sales, and all those things generally beyond me. The lovely Victoria Joss for all your continual marketing and organising, brilliant evocative banners, cheery emails and general support. And of course, Hannah Smith for your additional editorial support and much valued backup. Such a hardworking dedicated, talented Aria team – thank you all, you are all so very appreciated.
Also, a special thank you, for the brilliance of the fine-combing, copy and proof editors for the all the so very important clever polishing and most incredible attention to detail, Rose Fox and Sue Lamprell.
For the many, many words of encouragement, the time spent spreading the word, thank you to my extended family and friends, I may not always say it, but you are all truly appreciated. I also have to include two of my most dedicated fluffy writing companions, Arthur and Tessy, for all our protracted walks, pondering characters motives and plot lines and then for keeping my feet warm whilst I write.
I need to say a massive thank you to all the incredible book bloggers and reviewers out there, who pledge so many hours to reading and spreading the word of countless books. Your love for books and your devotion to the literary world is not only massively staggering but always so valued.
Finally, for the entire family of authors, a throng of unbelievably talented, dedicated and giving people, each and every day I feel so lucky to be included. This community has gifted me a wealth of precious friendship and support. I have nothing but admiration for all of you, only now do I really understand your level of commitment and conviction. Thank you.
About Sarah Simpson
SARAH SIMPSOM has a first-class honours degree in Psychology and has experienced working at a Brain Rehabilitation Hospital. She has spent time as a family consultant for Warwickshire and Oxfordshire solicitors and gained knowledge of the Family Court System. She now lives in Cornwall with her husband, three children and animals.
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Addictive Fiction
First published in the United Kingdom in 2018 by Aria, an imprint of Head of Zeus Ltd
Copyright © Sarah Simpson, 2018
The moral right of Sarah Simpson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN (E) 9781788544832
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Who I Am: A dark psychological thriller with a stunning twist Page 32