by Leanne Davis
“You’ll heal. They said this will all heal. Do you want to talk about it?”
Kelly shook her head. “No. I want to sleep.”
Cassie nodded and let her sister close her eyes and pretend to sleep. Cassie was sure Kelly wanted to cry at the picture in the mirror, but the tears hurt too bad to let out.
****
Later, John talked to Kelly some, making her smile even though doing so made her wince in pain. Cassie watched them through the door. What did he say? He wouldn’t dare tell Kelly about Marcus’s latest attempt to get her would he?
In the afternoon Kelly began to feel a little better as her pain medication was reduced making her less groggy. Cassie sat next to her sister holding her hand and talking intermittently, until Kelly finally had Cassie alone.
“John told me about last night.”
“I wish he hadn’t worried you with it.”
“I’m glad he did. You can’t keep me out of this, especially now. What the hell were you thinking going there alone? Do you want to die? Is that what you think will solve this? Because your opinion of yourself is so low you think dying will keep me and Tim safe?
“No.”
“Then why would you do something so stupid? You know that little boy out there needs you safe just as much as he needs to be kept safe.”
“I’d do anything to keep Marcus from Tim, you know that. Especially now after what he did to you. And it’s not like I chose to run off and meet him, he made sure I had no choice.”
“What good are you to Tim if you’re dead?”
“Please Kelly can’t we fight about this later? John has said it all to me. I want to concentrate on getting you better and Tim safe, and finding Marcus.”
“Promise me you’ll never do anything so stupid again, even for Tim.”
“I already promised John.”
“Promise me.”
Cassie smiled. “I promise you.”
Kelly nodded. “Good. Now are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and John?”
“Oh Kelly there’s so much more important things than that to talk about right now.” Cassie couldn’t comprehend the last few days. She didn’t know what to say or where to begin.
Kelly stared at her. Then she tried to smile but her lips only lifted stiffly in the corners. Cassie winced. How could this have happened to Kelly? “I think you two left off where ten years ago ended.”
“Kelly…”
“What?”
“You’re lying beat up in a hospital bed. Who cares about some stupid romance from a decade ago?”
“You did! Otherwise you wouldn’t be avoiding my gaze. How was it?”
Cassie grew warm under Kelly’s gaze. “It was fine.”
“Fine?” Kelly’s eyebrows rose.
Cassie bit her lip, then smiled. “Okay it was great.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Come on. Tell me.”
“Tell you what? That we ended up together out of the sheer freak circumstances we were trapped together in the same house, and I snuck into his bed because I was scared downstairs alone. Not to mention the fact that he’s on the rebound from the girl he really wants to be with.”
“You’re still in love with him.”
“What? No. I didn’t carry a torch for him all these years.”
“No. But maybe he carried a torch for you.”
“You have no idea how much anger he has toward me.”
“Hate and love can be a fuzzy line.”
“Or hate and lust.”
Kelly nodded. “Okay or lust. But it’s not like he was all that hard up, what with Sarah and all.”
Cassie groaned. “Don’t remind me.” She glanced out the window. “Everything about my life is up in the air. How could anything come of this? We both need time to let all this sink in. Life to get normal again.”
“You’ve been waiting your entire adult life for life to get normal. It is normal. This is it. You’ve spent six years doing penance and the last few days are the first I’ve seen of the real you. I think if you’ve learned anything from Marcus Leary, it’s that life is short. You’ve got to grab it while you can. Happiness and love don’t just happen. And for once in your God damn life, grab it.”
“We need to let this get worked out, and maybe then we can figure out what happened.”
“John could be really good for you.”
“I know that. He’s never been the problem.”
“You’re the problem? Bullshit. Anymore, that’s bullshit. Why don’t you try having the life you want, instead of the almost one you think you deserve.”
“It’s so much more complicated than that.”
“No it isn’t.” Kelly waved a hand at herself. “This is complicated. Being in love with the man you’re sleeping with, not so much.”
Cassie smiled and squeezed her sister’s hand. She was like no one else in the world. Cassie nodded. “Okay you’ve got a point. A very strong, powerfully made point. I’ll think about it.”
She wandered out of Kelly’s room when she got tired and went back to sleep. Cassie’s mind kept turning over what Kelly said. Telling John how she felt seemed the equivalent of jumping off a cliff. She had no idea how he’d react.
It was somewhere in these lost thoughts and wondering what it would be like to be together that Cassie was roused from her reverie to see Sarah Langston step off the elevator. Cassie’s heart plunged at the sight of the beautiful tall brunette, looking every bit as striking and sensual as ever, while Cassie as usual, looked like a forgotten piece of laundry.
John was down the corridor talking to Luke and Tim. John had made it a priority to not be within ten feet of her. The few times their gazes had locked it had been for a few charged seconds before he turned away.
Sarah walked toward John. When he spotted her, he excused himself from Tim, as correctly as he did everything in his life. He strode toward Sarah to meet her in the corridor. Sarah flung her arms around his neck; tall enough to do so comfortably whereas Cassie had to reach up awkwardly. Sarah embraced John, winding her arms around him, closing the distance so she rested tightly against him, and wordlessly held him.
John reacted as a lover would. He rested his hands on the small of her thin back, his arms surrounding her, cradling her. Long and tight they stood there embraced in the middle of the glaring white of the hospital. The relief at being together, the intensity of the meeting, was so apparent they need not say the words.
Cassie’s heart might as well have been taken from her chest and stomped on while she watched.
John rested his chin on Sarah’s head. What was that? Relief to be holding her again? He lifted his face and looked over Sarah’s shoulder to Cassie. He stared hard at her. Finally, they loosened their grip on each other, stepped back, and looked into each other’s eyes.
And Cassie was unlucky enough to be able to hear Sarah clearly as she said, “I heard about Kelly on the news. It’s everywhere. I came as soon as I heard; your mother let me up. Oh God, I’ve just been thinking it could have been you, and I walked out on you like I didn’t care. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you.”
He looked into Sarah’s eyes. “We need to talk.”
“I don’t care. About any of it. Whatever happened I don’t need to know. All that matters is from now on.”
Cassie’s stomach clenched. Sarah had done it; she’d forgiven John and dismissed Cassie with that one statement. Sarah had made it easy for John. He’d never have to discuss any of it, just as he liked. Cassie stared at John, drilling him with her gaze, hoping she was making him miserable under her glare. He felt it. She knew by the way he twitched his shoulders. But he wouldn’t glance her way. He didn’t argue with Sarah. He didn’t even open his mouth. He simply stood there embracing her.
Cassie walked past them; being sure she passed close enough that John knew she was right there. Cassie then turned into her sister’s room and collapsed onto a chair.
Damn Jo
hn. He owed it to her, and to Sarah, to speak up. To tell Sarah that things had changed. To take some responsibility for the mess they were in. He hadn’t been responsible for a decade ago but he sure as shit was equally responsible for now.
Cassie let out a sigh. She wasn’t to blame for everything. Not anymore. She had made terrible choices in her youth, choices she had been paying for long past what was her due. She might have started this mess with Marcus Leary, but she sure as hell didn’t deserve where it had gone. She might have hurt John years ago, but he was just as responsible for what happened today.
And he could forgive her. He could grant her that. After everything she had done to change her life, he could grow up and forgive her. Instead he held onto his anger as if he was still eighteen years old. It was easier to go with the pretty, pointless relationship he didn’t really care about, than to give the woman he had long ago truly loved a chance.
She sat up in her chair. A chance. She deserved that much. It had taken her thirty-three years to get here; but she had gotten here, and the least John could do was notice. And give her a chance.
Kelly awakened an hour later. She saw Cassie’s face and asked what happened. Cassie smiled and said nothing she’d just realized Kelly was right, her life needed to start now. And she didn’t need anyone else for that.
****
Cassie called Harry and Estelle Everhart. Before Kelly had been attacked she’d been sure she wanted nothing to do with Harry. But now, Cassie’s entire perspective on life shifted. She told them what had happened over the last day. Estelle cried on the phone. She then told Cassie Harry had confessed everything the very afternoon Cassie had confronted him.
The Everharts showed up at the hospital fifteen minutes later. Estelle embraced Cassie warmly, and then sat down next to Tim as if it were a foregone conclusion her and Tim were now bound together. Harry stood back shuffling his feet awkwardly. He said hello to Cassie, thanked her for calling them, as he expressed his concern over Kelly and Cassie’s future safety. Harry even asked if all three of them would live with Estelle and him until Marcus Leary was found.
Tears pricked Cassie’s eyes at the kindness inside of Estelle. Estelle’s acceptance of her and Tim humbled her.
Cassie was leery with Harry. The old turmoil swirled inside her gut as she pictured what Harry had done in order to not claim her as his daughter. But then again, he was here right now, for her and Tim. She agreed to have a cup of coffee with Harry in the waiting room of the hospital that had been her haven and prison for a day and half now. They sat together talking. It was awkward. It was strange. It was wonderful.
****
The story about Kelly had made the local news, and a scattering of reporters filled the main entry of the hospital. A uniformed policeman guarded the door to the stairs and the two elevators, the only two ways to reach Cassie without heroic efforts. Another policeman was close at hand to her and Tim. And so, she continued her wait.
Marcus Leary now knew without a doubt where Cassie was. There was no more hiding from him or fooling him. Marcus had proven he was far more dangerous and threatening than they could control.
Marcus had made her life a living hell, but in a roundabout way, he had also forced her to make reconciliations with people from her past she wouldn’t have dreamed of bothering with. He had turned her life upside down, yet she’d come out better for it. The period of penance and isolation she’d been living for six years was done. She now knew who her father was, a mystery that had haunted her since she was a child. And there was hope; she knew it in her bones, for some kind of a relationship with the Everharts.
Then of course there was John. Whether he forgave her or not, they had cleared the years away and exposed what had happened a decade ago. In a way, found closure for that, even if it wasn’t what she wanted.
Marcus was stalking her every move, worry and fear now were a part of life like she never knew it could be. Yet here she was at a place where she’d finally waded through her past and made peace with it, so for the first time in her adult life she could go on and be what she had most craved since she was fifteen years old; normal. She was finally ready for a normal, well-rounded, healthy life.
She just had to live long enough to get there.
Cassie let out a deep sigh. Her chest hurt. Not from fear, but with weariness. For she knew that she alone would finish this thing with Marcus Leary. She was going to do just that, no matter what those around her thought. She was the only one who could end it, simply because Marcus would never stop. He would never stop hunting her and Tim. She knew that down to her bones and she also knew, next time she would stop him. No matter what.
Cassie sat beside Harry, both of them now quiet. The hospital was dull and boring. Everyone was tired now and getting frustrated with waiting and feeling like they were waiting for nothing. Cassie looked up. John and Sarah were walking down the hallway. They had disappeared into another waiting room. Sarah clung to John’s arm as they walked, her long steps matching his. They were a handsome couple, she waif-like and striking, he wide-shouldered and strong looking to her thinness; both dark-haired, young, too good looking for their own good.
They turned and headed toward the elevator. Still attached. John slithered a glance Cassie’s way. He was avoiding her. And he was leaving.
John was leaving.
Cassie stood up. The magazine in her lap slid to the floor with a plop where the spine hit. John pressed the button to call the elevator.
He couldn’t leave her like this. He couldn’t just leave after all that had happened without a word of explanation to her. She deserved more.
She took a step forward. She came up behind them. They stood facing the closed elevator doors.
“John?”
They turned as a unit. John’s face weary. He wanted her to disappear. She straightened her shoulders. Fat chance of that John Tyler, Cassie vowed as she met his gaze squarely, proudly. For once she and John were going to talk.
****
Cassie’s voice behind John made his insides freeze in his gut. He wanted to leave and not deal with anything more today. He didn’t want to face Cassie. He’d felt her eyes follow him as Sarah had arrived. Of course, Cassie would be mad after the few days they’d spent together, but surely, she’d see that this was how things were supposed to be. As she herself had said, what had happened between them had only happened because of the weird, almost out-of-body circumstances they’d found themselves in. Certainly, they’d both been out of their minds. And Cassie herself had deemed their steamy affair to be closure. Fine then, they had their closure.
Cassie had almost been kidnapped, her sister had been attacked, and both women were under armed protection. It didn’t get much weirder than this.
He didn’t like commotion, or scenes. He didn’t like all this drama. And Sarah had shown up and forgiven him all with no explanations about what had gone on. She’d provided the easiest way for him to walk away. The thing was, he could walk out of this hospital and leave Cassie and her mess behind. He would be done with the drama that had consumed his life for weeks. He could go back to his former life, a life that had included Sarah. There was nothing tying him to this trouble but Cassie. And to end it, he simply had to walk out the door.
But that illusion ended when Cassie said his name from a few feet behind him. He turned. He sneaked a glance toward where his parents sat and unbelievably Cassie’s parents were milling about. They were all watching.
Sarah stiffened next to him and leaned closer to him. He couldn’t have imagined that he could have gotten himself into this situation where he was sleeping with two women who were about to face off.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes we are,” Sarah answered for him.
Cassie’s gaze flicked to Sarah and then back to him. “You can’t just leave. Not after—”
“Yes he can. It’s over Cassie. We’re going back to our life together.”
Cassie shifted her stare to meet Sarah’s. �
��There are things you don’t know.”
“And I don’t need to know Cassie. Let it go. Don’t make a scene. He’s chosen me and we’re now leaving.”
“No, no I didn’t mean because we slept together,” Cassie answered, almost distractedly. John cringed as he glanced around. Everyone in the waiting room had their eyes resting on the three of them. Cassie seemed oblivious to the stares.
“Cassie, everyone’s listening,” Sarah hissed.
Cassie turned and glanced around. She shrugged. She turned her gaze back to him as he stood there tongue-tied. She straightened her spine and stood taller.
“I was going to wait until all this,” she said, as she waved her hand in the air, “was finished. But as my sister pointed out what the hell do I keep waiting for? You can’t just walk away, John, like none of this happened. You take the easiest way out of everything, which is as bad as my tendency to self-destruct. But I’m not that person anymore and I finally realized it.”
“He’s not taking the easiest way out; he wants to be with me.”
“Shut up Sarah, I’m not talking to you.”
John swallowed. Then shook his head. “The last words you said to me were that no one can be with you. I get that now. You can’t trust me enough to tell me when Marcus sends you a threatening note. No, you brilliantly handled that all alone. Almost got yourself kidnapped. Just like always, you leave me out of your plans. So what do you possibly need me for?”
Both women looked up at him, surprised.
Cassie nodded. “All that I have ever done is hurt you.”
“So this time, what could be different?”
“Me. I’m different. I just didn’t see it until today.”
John didn’t know what to say. He was too confused to know what to do.
“Walk out of here, with Sarah, and your life will continue as it had been. She’s the logical choice. She has no psycho trying to kill her. She has no kid you’d have to deal with. She never broke your heart.”
“Please keep pleading my case,” Sarah said snidely.
Cassie paused to send Sarah a glare. “But that’s the thing John; she never had your heart to break. You don’t love her. You never have. You love me. You always have.”