by Leanne Davis
“What?”
“Well you both have some pretty good points about the other. You did wound John’s pride, going at it alone. Maybe you have treated him like he’s still the kid you’re not supposed to be dating.”
Cassie paled. Was Nancy right?
“But you’re right too. You’re the one with the son. You felt you had to go alone, and maybe you were right.”
“Yeah so I can’t trust anyone, and he can’t trust me because of my past. He’s right we were thrown together again under intense and unreal circumstances. We probably aren’t able to be together when it’s normal.”
A heavy silence followed her proclamation.
“Well, why don’t you see?” Nancy said quietly.
“See what?”
“See if you can be together under ordinary circumstances? Maybe you could chalk your differences up to you both were right, you both were wrong, and it really has no bearing on if you two have the basis of a relationship that will survive normal life. Why don’t you two give it a try without all the drama?”
Cassie surprised herself when she grabbed Nancy and started hugging her. Nancy chuckled and patted her as Cassie began to cry, having the cry that had been brewing for hours.
“Thank you,” Cassie said.
“What are you going to do now Cassie?” Kelly asked, her tone gentle.
Cassie straightened, ready to give her new life a try. One decision was already made in her head.
“We’re going to go stay with Harry and Estelle for a while.”
“Why?” Kelly exclaimed.
“Because I’m staying here. In Seaclusion. Tim loves it here and asked me if we could make our home here. And I think he’s right. I’d like to give my father a try. I’d like to make roots and a home and have extended family for Tim. And I like it here too. There’s nothing left in Portland. I have to go back and tie up a few loose ends, then I can move my business here.”
“I can give you money,” Kelly said quietly.
“No. I’ll do fine.”
“Like always,” Kelly said looking around the kitchen, “she’ll never take my help.”
“What about John?” Nancy asked.
Cassie smiled slowly. “I think I’d like to give that normal relationship a try. After, of course, I convince him to forgive me, to trust me, and that Tim and I are here to stay.”
“You don’t have to leave Cassie, you can stay here,” Luke said. “It’s my house too, and I don’t want you to leave.”
“Thanks. But I think I need to, and John needs me to right now.” Cassie hesitated then asked, “I wonder where he went.”
Luke smiled. “Work, Cassie. John went to work and is working like the devil is on his heels. I guarantee it.”
Cassie nodded. “I think I should get to work too.”
With that she went upstairs and started packing. Tim finally got up and she quickly got him dressed.
Then they left for Portland.
****
John came home exhausted. He hadn’t worked that hard since the first days Cassie had shown up in town and he’d been trying to avoid her. He thought about what he’d say to her. He pulled into the driveway and was jolted by how empty it was. All the cars were gone.
He entered the house and found it completely, deathly, silent. Not a peep or voice from anywhere. He looked around. The kitchen was spotless, with no evidence that seven people had been living there. He called out hello, no answer. He found a note from his mom saying they were back home and to call them when he felt up to it. Nothing else. He rounded the stairs and went up into Cassie’s room. It was empty, devoid of Cassie’s stuff, and the last week worth of Kelly’s mess. Kelly was gone too. He crossed the hall and found Tim’s room just as empty. They were gone. Just like that. No note. Leaving the house as if they’d never been there.
It was hours later before Luke finally showed up. John nearly tackled him as he came through the laundry room into the kitchen.
“Where the hell is she?”
Luke paused in the process of taking an arm out of his jacket. His eyebrows rose. “Gone. Isn’t that what you wanted? You certainly laid it on thick enough this morning. Why are you so upset? You got your privacy back. The house is completely empty, and no one but me will have any clue what the hell is going on in your life. And right now little brother, I don’t give a shit.”
John sagged against the counter. Cassie and Tim were gone? Just like that?
“Where is she?”
“She went to Portland. Kelly went back to Los Angeles; it looks like she’s going to heal just fine. That was a tearful goodbye I’ll tell you. And Tim told me to tell you goodbye.”
His heart skipped. Goodbye? “And Cassie?”
“She didn’t tell me to tell you anything.”
“I don’t even know her address. How could she just leave like that?”
“Because you deserved it.”
John turned to leave, wondering what he’d do for the next five minutes, the next hour, the next day, maybe even the rest of his life.
“She’s coming back.”
John halted on the stairs; he turned back toward his brother. “What? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Seeing if you cared. Apparently you do. She’s coming back to Harry’s house, not here. Tim wants to stay in Seaclusion, and she wants to give Harry a chance. So if I were you I’d figure out real quick what I wanted. And you’re crazy if that doesn’t include Cassie and Tim. This is it, your chance, don’t lose it because you’re too stubborn to see that what she did was right for her, even if it wasn’t right for you.”
What did he want? Cassie. But then…Cassie who killed a man while lying to him about her intentions. Cassie who had crushed him years ago, and had every ability to crush him again. How could he trust her? Every doubt that he associated with her name surfaced behind that name. And he was right back to not knowing what he wanted to do, and therefore he did nothing more than turn and start up the stairs.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
John arrived home early from work and pulled next to a stranger’s car in the driveway. He puzzled over it for a moment before realizing that it was mostly likely the housekeeper. He gathered his brief case and coat and went into the house. He turned for the stairs unknotting his tie and top buttons on his shirt. Coming to his room he stopped short. There stood Cassie.
He looked at her stupidly. Why was she standing there? Finally John found his voice. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you? You should be working.”
“I brought work home. What are you doing?”
“Working,” she said, then studied his face and sighed. “I thought Luke cleared it with you. He said—”
“He said what about what?”
“He re-hired me. I thought you knew that, and it was okay with you because you wouldn’t be seeing me.”
“Re-hired you? You’re cleaning our house again? Since when? Whose car is that outside?
She sighed. “It’s Estelle’s car, she likes to use mine when she’s picking Tim up from school for me. Luke had me start last week. I can’t believe he didn’t tell you.”
“When did you see Luke?”
“He drops by sometimes.”
Luke dropped by to see Cassie? When and how often? And why hadn’t Luke mentioned it to him that he’d re-hired Cassie to clean their house?
Before John could grill her on what he wanted to know; topics ranging from what they were to each other, to what Cassie’s plans were, she interrupted him.
“If you want me to leave that’s fine but I can’t come back until next week, I have the rest of the week scheduled out. If you have a problem with me cleaning—”
“Of course I have a problem. Isn’t this weird or something? I’m paying you to clean for me? Isn’t that wrong?”
“Not when it’s my livelihood. Luke was just being nice. I have to set up entirely new clients here and—”
“I’m not going to fire you.
I’m just surprised to find you here, doing this.”
“I know. I’m almost done up here. And yes it is weird,” she said over her shoulder as she disappeared into his bathroom.
John hung back, deciding what to do. This was not what he’d planned on. He’d been mulling over what to do about Cassie for weeks, and since nothing seemed right, he’d done nothing; a fact that irritated him like a burr on his skin as he realized how right that made Cassie about him. Now she was in there scrubbing his damn toilet, and he was paying her to do it. Wasn’t that insulting to her? And Jesus they’d been sleeping together in the very bed she’d been making when he came in. What was he supposed to do? Help? Ignore her? Leave the house?
Did memories haunt her each time she entered a room of this house as they did him? He wanted to know. But he didn’t ask.
Instead he backed out and went down to his office hoping to ignore her presence and figure out just what he thought about her. He managed to look busy when she came down a half hour later, this time packing a bucket and vacuum. He pretended to stare harder at the computer screen as she silently began dusting and moving around the living room, which he had a direct view into. She bent over, reaching behind an end table.
That did it. There was no way in hell this was happening.
“Cassie this isn’t going to work.”
She startled, bumping her head on the table before backing up until she was on her knees and could turn and look at him towering over her from the entry of the living room. He wanted her then and there. Her short hair was caught off her face by a headband, leaving it tweaking out in disarray that somehow fit her. Her gaze held his. She was the most appealing woman he’d ever come across. Her sweatshirt was probably supposed to hide her above average bust line, but that could not be hidden, and his body responded by instinct to her slim, too well built body that was kneeling before him.
Then he reminded himself his unending attraction to her was not the issue. The issue was she was in there performing menial work he was paying her for. And there was no way he could work or even seem to function with her there.
She studied his face for several seconds before she threw the towel she held into the bucket next to her. She got up, picked up the bucket, and grabbed the handle on the vacuum.
“All right, John.” Then she started to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“Didn’t you just fire me?”
“Well…no, yes, hell I don’t know. But I can’t pay you to clean my house.”
She straightened and met his eye. “What I do doesn’t embarrass me. This is it though. This house is one of four I do this week and five other businesses. This is my business. So if you think I should have more pride than to clean your house, well I don’t. It’s just a job for me.”
“I didn’t mean you should be embarrassed. It’s just—”
“You are embarrassed.”
“Yeah I guess I am. I owe you more than this,” he said waving his hand around the house. “More than a job.”
“You don’t owe me anything. And this helps me out. If you think this is bad, I clean Sarah’s shop, now that’s a little much to swallow. But it’s my job, and I’m new here and clients, any clients, are good.”
“What do you mean you clean Sarah’s shop?”
“Well I had to ask her.”
“You asked her?” he said feeling regret at what that had to be like for Cassie, and suddenly John didn’t want Cassie cleaning up for Sarah, or him, or swallowing any more of her pride to scrape by.
She laughed. “Don’t look so horrified. We’re actually quite amicable.”
“You are? You see her?”
“Yes. It’s not good business to fight with a client. So anyway, do you want me to finish or not?”
Confused and annoyed John looked away then and nodded. “Of course you can finish.”
He marched into his office, making an effort to ignore her again.
Then she was done and standing in front of him. He grabbed his check book and looked up in inquiry.
“What do I owe you?”
“Oh, no. Luke already paid; you don’t have to worry about it.”
“Okay.” John tossed the checkbook aside and leaned back in his chair regarding her.
“I was wondering, uh—” She stopped and fidgeted before she continued, “Would you like to come for pizza with Tim and me tonight? He’s been bugging me to go all week, and he misses you. He’s been asking about you. I just thought maybe—”
John brought his chair forward in surprise. Whatever he’d expected of her—which was any number of things—being asked to pizza with her and Tim, was about the last thing on that list. Then again he thought wryly when had Cassie ever done as he expected?
His heart tugged as she jammed her hands into her jean pockets. Tim missed him? Did Cassie? Because God knew he missed them.
“I’d like that.”
Her eyes popped up to his face at his simple answer, and her shoulders relaxed.
“Good. Tim will be pleased.”
“And you?” Why had he asked that?
“Me too,” she said softly, and then her voice was brisk again. “Well I’ve got to go pick up Tim and take a shower, so I’ll be by around six thirty.”
“I’ll pick you two up Cassie. Like a real date for once, we’ve never done that have we?”
“No. That would be nice. We’re at Harry’s still.”
“All right, six-thirty then.”
She turned to leave. He sat there confused by the invitation. And even more confused by how excited he was to be going to have pizza tonight with a single mother and her son. It was in fact the most he’d ever anticipated a date.
****
John smiled as he pulled into Harry and Estelle’s driveway. When was the last time he’d picked up a girl at her parents? It wasn’t exactly high school all over again, what with the drama of the last few months, and of course, Tim coming along.
Harry answered the door, but before they could say anything more than hello, Tim came around Harry and stopped in front of John, arms held out enthusiastically. John picked him up. His slight body wrapped around John’s trunk felt sweeter than anything John had ever pictured.
“Hey John, mommy says you’re coming to pizza with us.”
“Sure am little guy.”
“Good. I have so much to tell you. I’m back at school you know.”
“I didn’t know. I’m glad to hear that.”
“Where you been anyways? Luke comes over why don’t you?”
John glanced off into the room and found Cassie’s eyes. “I’m sorry Tim. I miss you too. I’ll be by from now on, so you won’t be able to miss me.”
“Really? Mom did you hear that?”
Cassie got up and came forward. “Quit bombarding John. It’s only been a month.”
“It’s been forever. Is my basketball hoop still up at our house?”
Cassie cringed. John grinned at Tim’s ability to ask any question, any time, with little clue to how awkward the situation could be for his mother.
“Sure your hoops still up. You’ll have to come over soon and use it.”
What was he doing? Building up a little boy’s hopes that he might eventually squash, depending on him and Cassie? Luke and John were heroes and substitute fathers in Tim’s eyes, and everyone knew it. John was uncomfortable not with that role, but with how much he wanted it. He wanted to see Tim, and he wanted Tim back at the house.
“Get your coat Tim so we can leave. It’s pouring out there,” Cassie interrupted before Tim could bring on a new barrage of questions. Then Cassie was close, and John felt that familiar punch in his gut. Would he ever get tired of looking at her? Who could make jeans and a fleece sweatshirt look like Cassie looked? Had Sarah ever, even naked, made his heart race and hands sweat like Cassie did? It wasn’t just wanting her, he was nervous, almost excited to be close to her.
Tim sighed. “All right, Mom,” he said as he rolled hi
s eyes toward John then ran off down the hall.
Harry came over and shook John’s hand. Estelle exclaimed over the weather and where they were going. Finally, Tim came running back and the three of them dashed for John’s SUV, through the pounding rain that had already made mini-lakes all over the roads. The night was as wet and drippy as that unforgettable night Marcus died.
Once they were buckled in John turned toward Tim. “So where to Tim? Pizza in town?”
Tim beamed at the attention. “Yeah, pizza, pizza, pizza!” He chanted happily.
Cassie laughed at Tim’s antics, then turned forward and John felt a rightness, a rush of feeling so intense he paused, meeting Cassie’s eyes in the murky darkness of the car. It was a family outing kind of night; rainy, wet, going for a quick pizza with the kid bouncing off the seats in excitement about it. John suddenly longed for it to be real.
They were seated at the pizza parlor but a minute before Tim held his hand out impatiently for coins. What hit John squarely in the heart, was that Tim had automatically turned toward him, not Cassie, with his eyes shining and his hand out. John quickly dug around in his wallet finding some dollar bills he handed them to Tim to change out.
Tim’s eyes got big at the wad in his hand.
“Can I really use it all?”
He’d given Tim too much money. Tim glanced at Cassie for permission. Cassie smiled. “Yes this once Tim. But you have to at least come back and eat with us.”
“After we eat will you play with me John?”
“You’d best be getting to practicing if you intend to beat me.” John grinned as Tim jumped up and headed toward the arcades.
Then they were alone staring at each other across a red and white checkered table cloth, with a crowded pizza parlor buzzing around them.
What to say? Where to start?
“I told you he missed you,” Cassie said, her smile easy.
His didn’t feel so easy. How could she be so casual? Didn’t she feel this burning urgency he did? What he felt so urgent about he wasn’t sure.
“I’ve missed him too. A month is a long time for a kid; I’m surprised he didn’t forget me.”