That was in the past. That’s what I keep telling myself over and over and over again.
I have no idea what is more disturbing—the fact that I just saw my husband make love to someone else or that the crazy killer contacted me again on my brand-new number. I hate that this is happening.
I’m trying to find my bubble where I normally hide, but it’s been busted from this asshole’s repeated attempts to contact me over these last few days. I just want to be left alone.
How could someone be so cruel to send a sex tape like that?
I know Damien loves me, and he is faithful to me, but it just hurts. Now, I have a visual of how satisfying the other women were, and the image will haunt me, intensifying all my self-doubts.
I have no idea how long I’m in the bathroom before I hear pounding on the door. I start swiping madly at the tears as if that will stop them.
Bane calls out, “Mrs. Wales, are you okay? I need you to answer me, or I’m going to have to come in.”
I wonder how long he’s been knocking while I’ve been in my numb state.
Dryly, I choke out without much volume, “I’m fine.”
“Mr. Wales needs you to call him immediately.”
I just sit there, looking at the white door. I have no idea what to say.
“Mrs. Wales?”
I have to say something, but I can’t talk to Damien right this minute. He’s at work, and he’ll leave immediately if he hears me. He’s due home in a couple of hours, and we will talk then. He can’t keep missing so much work because I can’t control my emotions.
“Yes, I heard you. I will call him in a bit.” I don’t mean to sound so hateful, but I need time to process all of this.
There’s some kind of mumbling on the other side of the door, but then it starts to fade.
Thank goodness.
I just need a little peace and quiet for a few minutes. My tears start again as I hold my knees and rock myself, trying to find any form of comfort. Those images keep dancing across my mind, trying to forever seal themselves to me, when I just want to forget.
I knew he had an active sex life prior to me. I just never ever wanted to know the details, and I am cursing myself for watching the damn thing.
Ignorance is bliss sometimes.
I’m not upset with him, but to see him in the act, with Cassandra no less, is unsettling to say the least.
Did he even know he was being taped?
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
I’m so stupid for watching that video.
They looked explosive together. She probably had so much more experience than I do now. I bet she could please him in ways I never even thought of.
I know he loves me.
He married me.
It’s me who warms his bed every night.
He wants me to have his kids.
I know all this, but the self-deprecating thoughts still make their way to the surface.
I need to stop these thoughts. I know he doesn’t want any other woman.
The bathroom door bursts open, lock be damned, causing me to jump as Damien walks into the bathroom.
“Alli, are you okay? Where’s your phone? Why didn’t you answer me when I knocked?”
He was knocking?
I don’t know what to say. I look up at Damien, dressed in black slacks and a green button-down shirt. His hair is a mess, and he looks worried beyond belief as his eyes dance over me. One look at me has him nearly stopping in his tracks, but after pausing for only a millisecond, he continues on toward me.
As I look down at myself, I can see why he looks worried. I’m sure I look like a fruit loop, sitting on the floor in front of the vanity, shivering, crying, and rocking myself into a near hysterical meltdown.
Damien immediately crouches down in front of me, and then he stands, disappears into the closet, and re-emerges with a blanket. I want to say something, but I’m not sure I can right now. It’s hard for me to even look him in the eyes.
Before I know it, he’s picked me up and deposited me on the couch in our bedroom. He goes to the wall, starts the gas fireplace, and then comes back to join me. I’m so glad I didn’t wear makeup today, or I bet I would look like some kind of circus freak. He’s as lost as I am on what to say.
He knows. I don’t know how he knows, but he knows.
That’s why Bane came to the door and Damien hasn’t pushed for answers since seeing me in the bathroom.
“Alli…” His voice is as soft as velvet.
I slowly bring my eyes up to his, and he sucks in a breath at the devastation he sees on my face.
He continues, “You’ve seen it, haven’t you? Fuck. Of course you’ve seen it.” He runs his hand through his hair and then starts rubbing his forehead. “Damn it to hell. I’m going to kill that bastard.”
He runs his hand through his hair a few more times before he grabs one of my hands and starts to rub it.
I need to say something because I haven’t said a word since he burst through the doors. “Damien…I-I…I…” Tears start to fall anew.
“Alli, please talk to me. I had no idea that tape even existed. I’ve never seen you like this. You’re scaring the shit out of me.”
I start to cry all over again, and I lean into his chest. I wish tears were like gas tanks and could eventually run out. It seems like I have an unlimited supply right now.
Between cries, I say, “I shouldn’t have looked. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t stop.”
“Shh, baby. I know. I know.”
He’s rubbing my back as I just let my emotions out. This feels so much more therapeutic than being alone in the bathroom.
“Please just talk to me, baby. I swear that she meant nothing to me.”
I pull back my tear-streaked, blotchy face and look him in the eyes. “I know. I could tell, but it just hurt so bad, seeing you with someone else like that. I know after seeing that…” I take a deep breath, trying to remain in control. “After seeing that, I know all the women you’ve been with are so much more experienced than me. I don’t know how I’ll keep you interested in me. I’m scared of losing you in all this.”
Deep down somewhere, I know what I’m saying isn’t true, but when I’m this upset, it’s so easy to let the negativity eat away at my confidence. I try to think of something that proves what I said to him is false—the way he immediately got out of bed after finding his release with Cassandra. He’s never done that with me. He normally can’t get enough of me afterward as we lie there in the aftermath of our lovemaking.
With all the conviction he can muster, he solemnly states, “Alli, I swear that all of the women I’ve been with were just a fuck, lay, whatever you want to call it. I’ve never loved anyone else, baby. They meant nothing. And trust me, you are not inexperienced. I’ve never had someone bring me to my knees like you have. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Baby, I don’t want any secrets between us. I’m here forever, and I’m never giving you up.”
“I don’t want any details. I’ve seen enough.”
He blanches at my comment, and I wish I could take those words back.
“I mean, I know you love me. It still hurts to see you touching someone else like you touch me. I’m trying to get that image—”
He cuts me off before I start working myself up all over again. “Alli, I have never touched someone like I have you. With them, I touched them to get them off, so I could get off. With you, I touch you to cherish your body and to remember every detail about you.”
I look up, and his features are etched with worry.
“Damien, I love you regardless of what’s happened. It’s just…I don’t know. Put yourself in my shoes. If you were sent of video of me having sex with another man, it would—”
He cuts me off again. “Alli, I would have come to blows with any other man who had been with you, and I had to watch it happen.” His free hand contorts into a tight fist, causing his knuckles to pop and go ghos
t white.
I know his possessiveness over me shouldn’t please me, but it does. I just need to keep talking it out. “It’s just unnerving to see something like that. It just brought a lot of self-doubts to the surface, which is what this guy wants. I’ve never understood why you chose to love me.”
He kisses the top of my head. “You’re all that I have ever and will ever want. What do I need to do to prove that to you?”
I melt at his soothing voice. I try to let reality take hold of me again instead of staying in this fictional world I’ve built since I got the text.
“All I need is for you to love me. That’s it, Damien.”
“Well, that’s easy, baby. Loving you is like breathing. It’s natural and effortless for me.”
I give a small smile as the sadness slowly starts to ebb away. Now that I’m coming down from the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on, everything that happened from when Damien walked in starts to take root as my thoughts come together.
“How did you know that I had seen the video?” I ask.
“He sent me a text, too.”
And just like that, the fury is back in his eyes.
“What? He’s contacting you now?”
I feel my emotions creeping back into the red as a knot starts to form in my chest.
Damien starts rubbing my arms as he says, “Alli, breathe. He sent it to me when I was about twenty minutes from the house. Bastard probably knew I wasn’t home. I called Bane to check on you, and he said you were locked in the bathroom. When he got you to answer, I told him to let you be because I was close by.”
I lay my head against Damien’s shoulder, and he pulls me closer to him.
“I think Martin was right,” I say.
“I do, too. This guy is becoming unhinged, and it’s because of his lack of access to you and what’s going on in the news. But he’s not going to get near you.”
The finality in his tone is chilling.
“How did he get my number? There’s no way the few people who have it would give it out. He has to have connections to something to get it so fast. Did you store it anywhere?”
At this point, I might not even keep a phone, so there’s no way he could get to me.
Awareness flashes in Damien’s eyes, and he fishes out his phone. “Bane, whoever this is has access to the servers at Wales Enterprise. He is getting information that way, or he knows someone there. Anyone on the team and all of the real estate employees have access to those servers. Check to see if Ben has been sending anything to Cassandra. Alli’s number was listed under the company, and that’s how the prick got it. Get her an anonymous number. Make sure all your research stays away from anything related to the company. Continue to make it look like we are searching for Martin. Yes, I am aware that is going to slow things down.”
Ugh, changing numbers again. Sam and her parents are going to think I’m crazy. Oh well, that’s the least of my worries.
Damien turns his attention back on me. “I need to make sure you don’t want to discuss the tape any further. I won’t have anything coming between us, Alli. I need to know we’re okay.”
I think about it for a few minutes. “I’m not going to lie and say that it doesn’t still bother me, but I knew the score when I started dating you. It’s in the past. It’s just not pleasant to see the past in this case. I really don’t want to know the details. Just like before though, I do want to know if you’ve dated someone I might run into at functions, so I’m not taken aback. I want to be prepared if an ex of yours says something outlandish. What matters is who we are and what we mean to each other.”
He gives me a gentle kiss. “How about dinner in bed?”
I perk my head up. “Sounds good.” I know we need a pleasant distraction. “I picked out some colors and fabrics for our house, and I want to get your feedback on them.” I give him a weak cheeky smile as I emphasize the word our.
“Sounds good, baby.”
I’m still disturbed at what I saw, and I would love to bleach it from my mind, but I’ll deal with it and constantly remind myself that I’m the one he wants.
We have a forever kind of love.
Forever.
My promo photo shoot for the football team is tomorrow. Something magical happens when I start looking into a lens. Taking pictures takes me to a place of peace.
As we pull up to the hotel in North Carolina, the press is in full force outside the car. The camera flashes send me into a trance as I sit behind the tinted window of the SUV. I hope someone who is actually famous is staying here. If the press attention is for us, I dread what is on the other side of the door.
How long can a kiss garner this much publicity? Ridiculous.
“Alli, are you with me?”
I turn my gaze from all the press milling about with flashing cameras to Damien. “Yes, sorry, I was just lost in thought.”
He hates it when I get so involved in my mind that I zone out, especially now with all that we are currently dealing with. If he could have a direct link to my thoughts every moment, he would.
“Alli, stay next to me.” He rubs his forehead.
Eventually, he’s going to rub a hole in it.
“Fucking vultures,” he says.
“Hey, I’m fine. It’s fifteen feet into the hotel. Just don’t listen to them. If you don’t react, they’ll move on. It was just a kiss.”
For the hundredth time, he’s about to contradict me about it not being just a kiss when I decide to head him off at the pass. He needs to remain calm.
I put my hands up. “Okay, not just a kiss. A super-hot kiss.”
He quirks his brow at me, and I give a big cheesy smile, hoping to lighten the mood. It seems to work—fractionally.
We disembark from the vehicle with security surrounding us. The press is screaming all kinds of questions. Their voices are causing a loud and chaotic atmosphere. I can’t even make out what they are saying.
I keep a polite smile as we continue to the door.
The voice of one guy breaks through over the rest and says to Damien, “Are Allison’s bedroom skills as good as her kissing talents?”
My head immediately snaps to Damien. His blue eyes are searching out the guy who said it. A balding overweight man wearing suspenders is giving Damien a cheesy smile while laughing. Damien starts to move that way, but at my gentle pull, he stays with me instead of doing who knows what to that guy. I breathe a sigh of relief when we finally cross the threshold of the hotel.
As we approach the elevator, Damien tells Bane, “Have Jeremy find out who that fuckwad is.”
Bane nods and talks discreetly into his earpiece. The ride up to the hotel room is like trapping a panther in a small cage. Damien’s irritation is radiating in the atmosphere, causing my nerves to be more on edge than normal. This is our first public appearance since the media frenzy, and I knew it would have him a little more on edge.
Holy hell, it’s intense.
I glance over at Damien. His blue shirt is rolled up to his elbow, and every muscle is standing on edge.
I’m just ready to be in our hotel room, so I can focus on us and the upcoming photo shoot.
As we approach the door, Bane addresses Damien, “Sir, the room has been cleared. Outside security is in place.”
“Thanks, Bane.”
We enter the hotel room as Bane says, “Sir, may I speak with you for just a moment about my plans?”
Damien looks at me as I respond, “I’ll be in the kitchen, getting some water.”
Jeremy and I make our way into the kitchen to give them privacy. If I wanted to hear, Damien would let me. Honestly, listening to all the planning and contingencies stresses me out more. I just want to know actual facts and information.
I can still see Damien and Bane from the kitchen, and I notice the bellboy taking our bags upstairs to our room. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and as I turn back around, I see the bellboy stopped at a table at the top of the stairs. He’s scribbling somethin
g on a piece of paper. He comes down the stairs and starts to approach me, giving a big cocky grin and adding a little oomph to his strut.
Please, please, please let him just be looking for a tip. My husband cannot take much more this evening.
Hoping that money is all he wants, I grab some cash. Jeremy comes to stand within a foot of me.
I hand the cash to the bellboy as I say, “Thank you. Have a good evening.”
Awkwardly, the bellboy takes the money while handing me some kind of note with a cocky wink. I would imagine those dimples, blue eyes, and blond hair go over well with the ladies—if they’re in high school. He slowly walks away, but he keeps looking back.
This cannot be good. I feel like I’m getting one of those notes in grade school, asking me to check yes or no if I think a boy is cute. I open the paper and read it as I take a sip of my water.
After reading the booty call, I choke on my water and spit it out. Did he seriously think he had a chance? Plus, I can’t believe he had the nerve to do that in front of my husband.
The bellboy is young and naïve. The immaturity of the note causes me to almost start laughing—almost. That is, until I see the intent stride of Mr. Hell on Wheels toward me, seeing the note in my hand. He holds out his hand, and I quickly oblige and give it to him.
Trying to placate the situation, I add, “Damien, he’s just a kid. He didn’t mean anything by it.”
The door closes, and I’m glad the poor kid is gone. I just need to get Damien up to our room, so he can calm down, forget about the last fifteen minutes of tonight, and lose himself in me. This note doesn’t bother me. It’s from a horny teenager, trying to get lucky with his good looks on the off chance that I’m open to grazing other pastures. I know I should take it more seriously, but with everything else going on, this guy is the least of my worries.
The veins start bulging in Damien’s neck.
I continue to try to reason with him, “Hey, Damien, let’s go up to our room. It’s been a long day.”
He turns to me. “I’ll be up there in a minute, Alli. I need to handle something.”
I go to grab his arm, attempting to coax him into letting this go. “Damien…”
Love Me (Trust Series #2) Page 17