by Ivan Brett
In the meantime, Jean-Claude gurgled as Bash Brewster hoisted him over one shoulder. “Where’s we takin’ ’im?”
“Search me,” shrugged Mayor Rattsbulge. “What’s it say on his label?”
“He’s from France,” murmured Casper from his horizontal position on the cobbles. “Are you going that way?”
“France?” Bash chewed over the word as if he’d never heard it before.
“Chip shop’s near France, innit?” said Clobber.
“We’s deffo goin’ chip shop,” grinned Spit.
“We’ll take ’im,” said Bash. “Maybe ’e’s got lunch munny.”
“He’s yours,” announced Mayor Rattsbulge dismissively. “Just take him away.”
The four brothers tromped away across the square, Jean-Claude flopping limply up and down in time with their footsteps. They tromped down the road, past the pelican crossing and off into the sunset.
Snivel shuffled forward and hovered close to Casper. “D-d’you fink they’ll m-make it to F-france?”
“Doubt it,” grimaced Casper, pulling himself up painfully to a standing position. “They’ll probably forget where they’re going round the next corner. And I wouldn’t want to be them when Jean-Claude wakes up. Right mood he’ll be in.”
“M-maybe they need a n-navigator,” said Snivel. “I’m g-good with maps.”
“That’s an idea.”
“Ooh! And you can feed him a omlit if he gets rowdy,” suggested Lamp, skipping out from the doorway of Bistro D’Escargot flanked by Mavis and Bessie, free from collars and flapping the cobwebs off their wings. “Nice bit of brains should calm him down, get him thinking rationally. Want to take the girls?”
“Y-yeah. All right.” Snivel puffed up his chest proudly. “If they’ll c-come.”
As if on cue, Mavis and Bessie strutted over to peck at the youngest Brewster’s feet, and for the first time since Casper had known him, Snivel looked genuinely happy.
“Go and find your brothers, Snivel,” said Casper. “Keep ’em in line!”
“W-will do!” He did a little salute. “C-come on, ladies.” He trotted off at a pace in the same direction as the Brewsters. Mavis and Bessie flapped along beside him, and before long they were out of sight.
Back in the square, Lamp had gone cross-eyed. “Casper, there’s something dongly on my face.”
Casper frowned. “That’s your nose.”
“My nose. I knew that.” Lamp shuffled awkwardly. “Nose.”
“Is everything all right?”
“Casper, I think my brains is running out. I used to know about noses and stuff, but now I can’t remember.”
Casper felt his pulse surge. Could it possibly be? He had to check. “What’s four plus three?”
“Um,” Lamp chewed his lip. “Thursday?”
“Wrong!” Casper had never been so happy to hear a wrong answer, but he couldn’t look too happy, for Lamp’s sake. He lent his friend a comforting arm. “Bad news, Lamp. I think the eggs are wearing off.”
Lamp gave a sorrowful sniff.
“It’s OK. I like you best when you’re not a brainiac.”
“Thanks, Casper.” Lamp grinned. “What’s a brainiac?”
All around them, villagers were coming to their senses.
“Must’ve been something in those burgers,” mumbled Mayor Rattsbulge.
“Why’s I holdin’ a calculator?” asked Sandy Landscape, and then he went off to plant it.
Down on the cobbles, Julius stirred.
“Dad!”
“Casp? That you?”
Casper leant down beside his father. “Yeah, I’m here. You took a serious bread shot back there. Thought I’d lost you.”
“Urgh, my head. Did you… Is he gone?”
“We got him. I’m fine. So’re Mum and Cuddles.”
Across the square, Amanda was trying to separate Cuddles from the three cats she was currently trying to swallow.
“You beat him?”
“Sort of,” Casper nodded. “Lamp helped.”
“My little swordsman. Some day you’ll be as good as your old man. I’m proud of you, Casp.” Julius closed his eyes. “You know, I saw my life flash before my eyes back there.”
“Don’t think it was your life, Dad. I’m pretty sure it was a baguette.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
With a screech, Clemmie Answorth tripped over a pigeon and clattered to the cobbles. Things really were back to normal.
“This calls for pie,” Mayor Rattsbulge announced. “Everybody, listen up. You’re all invited to The Battered Cod for a free meal.”
“Are they?” Casper gulped.
The mayor licked his lips. “Hurrah for Julius Candlewacks!”
“Hurrah for Julius Candlewacks!” the crowd cheered.
“Hurrah for me?” Julius mumbled, but he was drowned out by the stampede of feet as every single idiot in Corne-on-the-Kobb piled into The Battered Cod.
Ting-a-ling.
Mr Flanty’s Pi Song
Copyright
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2012
HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd,
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CASPER CANDLEWACKS IN ATTACK OF THE BRAINIACS!
Illustration copyright © Hannah Shaw 2012
Ivan Brett and Hannah Shaw assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work.
ISBN 978-0-00-741159-7
CASPER CANDLEWACKS IN ATTACK OF THE BRAINIACS!. Text copyright © Ivan Brett 2012. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub Edition © APRIL 2012 ISBN: 978-0-00-741160-3
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