“Did he actually come out and say he’s better than everyone else?”
“It’s not what he says but the way he says it and the way he acts. There are subtle things that crop up when you’re talking to him. Personally, if it weren’t for my mom, I don’t think Lexie would even consider him.”
“Really?” Mark asked.
“Really,” Caitlyn replied, glancing at Chris who shook his head. “It’s true. Lexie doesn’t stand up to our mother like I do. She lets Mom run her life. I just hope Nick makes her happy.”
“Have you talked to Lexie about this?” Sandy asked her friend.
“Yes,” Caitlyn said, glancing at Sandy, “but Lexie says there’s a side to Mom that I don’t see. Apparently, there’s a good friend buried somewhere under the bossy woman.”
Sandy decided not to say anything else. She’d seen small moments where Caitlyn’s mom showed a tender side, but she knew her friend didn’t want to hear it. And who could blame her after all the grief her mom put her through with Randy and then Chris? She once suggested Caitlyn talk to her mom—have a real heart to heart conversation with her—but Caitlyn insisted it’d be pointless. So Sandy opted to stay out of it. It was the least she could do since Caitlyn didn’t press her for the reason Josh dumped her.
Caitlyn parked in a spot along the beach where other cars were and motioned to the large house. “Here we are.”
Interested to see what kind of home a doctor lived in, Sandy peered out the window. Her eyes grew wide. “It’s huge.”
“Are all those windows a good idea?” Chris asked. “Don’t you have to worry about hurricanes in this area of the planet?”
While Caitlyn answered him, Sandy’s attention went to the people lounging along the balcony and then to those sitting in chairs set up on the beach. The Gulf of Mexico wasn’t far away and a couple of people chose to take a stroll along the shore. Sandy couldn’t help but think if a man offered her this kind of home, she might marry him too, even if he was conceited. At least she’d live comfortably. She couldn’t blame Lexie for taking the offer.
“Thank goodness there’s a lot going on at this party,” Caitlyn said.
Sandy hid her grin. No doubt her friend was thinking of a way to avoid her mother. “Well, I’d like to see what Nick looks like since I haven’t seen him yet.”
“I wouldn’t mind seeing what he looks like, too,” Mark said as everyone got out of the minivan. “Mind if I join you, Sandy?”
Sandy caught the excited expression on Caitlyn’s face and her heart did a crazy flip-flop. It had to be a good sign he was choosing to go with her instead of Caitlyn and Chris, right? Don’t get your hopes up, she warned herself. He might just want to meet Nick. Clearing her throat, she waited until Caitlyn and Chris headed for the beach before turning to Mark. “My guess is the groom-to-be is in the house since he’s hosting the party.”
“You’re probably right,” he replied.
As they headed for the front door, she thought over what she could say to start a conversation. “So, you and Chris are good friends?”
“Yeah. He’s a really good guy.”
“Everything happened so fast when Caitlyn met him. I wasn’t sure what to think of him at first. She was married to my brother before he passed away. It’s nice to see her with Chris, after everything that happened. I mean, they got married so fast, but it’s worked out. That’s the point to finding someone anyway, isn’t it? To be with them. It’s not the amount of time you’re with someone but the kind of person that someone is.” Her face grew warm when she realized she was rambling. And not only that, but she was making no sense at all. She bit her lower lip so she wouldn’t say anything else to possibly embarrass herself.
Fortunately, he didn’t seem to notice how nervous she was. “I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes love comes when you least expect it and the best thing you can do is make every moment count.”
Relaxing, she returned his smile. So he hadn’t been turned off by her rambling. “Exactly.”
They reached the front door, and he got ready to ring the doorbell but a butler opened it, holding a clipboard in his hand. “May I have your names?”
Surprised by the formality, Sandy glanced at Mark to see what he thought. If she guessed right, he was as stunned as she was. Her gaze went back to the butler. “I’m Sandy Davis.”
“And I’m Mark Tanner.”
The butler scanned the list. “I see Sandy Davis, but I don’t see Mark Tanner anywhere. Is Mark your guest, Miss?” he asked, looking at her.
“Um…yeah.” She didn’t know what else to say. She hoped Mark was okay with it. Since he didn’t protest, she assumed he was. And maybe that was a good sign.
The butler moved aside and let them in.
Despite the nervous flutter in her stomach, she joined Mark in entering the house.
Chapter Eleven
Lexie stared out the window from the second story of Nick’s house, hardly aware of the guests in Nick’s den. Mindlessly smoothing her knee-length dress, she watched the people on the beach. Her gaze fell on Caitlyn and Chris, who were heading for the shore. She was tempted to excuse herself so she could say hi to them. She hadn’t seen Caitlyn since her wedding and wondered how she and Chris were doing. But even from where she stood, she could tell they were deeply in love. Chris took Caitlyn’s hand in his and leaned toward her to say something that made her laugh.
Lexie’s heart ached. That was how she had envisioned love when she was a little girl. She never thought she’d be stuck in a room full of people who were celebrating her engagement to someone she didn’t think was right for her. Trapped. She felt trapped. She knew the walls weren’t closing in on her, yet she felt claustrophobic just the same.
Not too far from her, Nick was surrounded by a group of twenty people who were admiring his wall of awards.
“There’s no way all of these are yours,” her brother said, bringing her attention back to the group.
“Yes, I assure you, they are,” Nick told Blake.
“Seriously?” Blake asked, not looking convinced. “In addition to saving lives, you’re also a master car racer?”
“I was one,” Nick replied. “But that was when I was in my first year of college and bored.” With a wink at Lexie, he added, “The classes didn’t challenge me enough.”
“And you volunteered your summers to aid doctors overseas?” Blake motioned to the plaques of appreciation for Nick’s work.
“It’s a great blessing to be able to help others.”
“And it doesn’t hurt that it made him look good when he went on to graduate school,” one of Nick’s coworkers added.
The group laughed, but Lexie turned her attention back to the window. Was this how it was always going to be when they were together with other people? It was supposed to be their engagement party. However, she couldn’t help but think that it was more of his party. She knew she shouldn’t think something so bitter, but beyond the obligatory kiss on the cheek Nick had given her when she arrived, he barely paid attention to her.
She kept telling herself it was because they were rarely together when their families and friends were around, so naturally, his attention would go to them. Even so, she couldn’t get rid of the empty feeling in her heart. She was with him, but she wasn’t really with him.
“Oh, hey there, Sandy,” Blake called out.
Sandy? Maybe her sister’s best friend would be someone she could talk to! They got along well enough in the past when their families got together. Lexie turned away from the window and started to smile when her gaze fell on Mark, who stood by Sandy. She examined Sandy and Mark, wondering why he hadn’t told her that he was dating Sandy in the times they’d talked. In fact, he’d told her that he was between girlfriends. But maybe he hadn’t gone out with Sandy before. This could be their first date. She shouldn’t be surprised. He was a good looking man and Sandy was Caitlyn’s best friend. It made sense that he’d met Sandy at some point.
“This over h
ere is my trophy for when I was in Little League,” Nick told Mark and Sandy. “From there, I won other awards,” he motioned to the rest of the wall, “as you can see.”
“Wow,” Sandy replied, her eyes wide. “I guess Lexie’s mom wasn’t kidding when she said you excel at everything you do.”
“She said that?” Nick glanced at Lexie and grinned. “I suspect even among these awards, my most notable achievement was winning the hand of such a lovely lady.”
With the exception of Mark, the group let out a collective ‘aww.’ Lexie inwardly sighed but offered a polite smile.
“She’s certainly much better looking than the other doctors’ wives,” one of his friends said.
She resisted the urge to wince. Was that all she was? A trophy wife? Something else to add to his collection? She couldn’t bring herself to look at Mark after that. Her gaze went out the window again, and this time she saw her mother on the patio, laughing at something Nick’s mom said.
“I think I’ll head on downstairs,” Blake said, interrupting Nick as he described the other awards on his wall to Mark and Sandy. Lexie turned her attention to her brother as he walked toward the door. “Very impressive, Nick.”
Nick waved and continued his spiel.
Lexie finally decided she’d had enough of the awards and followed her brother. She waited for Nick to call her back, to give an indication that he wanted her there in the room with him, but he continued discussing his Little League trophy. As she hurried down the stairway, she tried to envision what her life would be like, living here with Nick. But her mind didn’t want to do it.
“Lexie, wait up!”
Surprised, she stopped on the steps and looked over her shoulder as Mark bounded down the staircase to catch up with her. “Shouldn’t you be with Sandy?” she asked.
“Nick is telling Sandy all about the trinkets and pieces of paper decorating his wall.”
She began to admonish him for calling Nick’s accomplishments trinkets and paper, but then she decided he was right and closed her mouth.
Mark reached her step and smiled. “I hope it’s okay that I came.”
“Of course, it is. I should have invited you, but…” But what? But it was too awkward to have him around when she was supposed to be in love with her fiancé? Not knowing what to say, she continued down the steps.
“It’s fine. Chris invited me.”
“He did? But I thought you were with Sandy.”
“Caitlyn invited her.”
They reached the bottom of the staircase, and she turned to face him. “So you’re not on a date?”
“No.”
That shouldn’t have made her feel better, but it did.
“Want to take a walk on the beach?” he asked.
She scanned the house full of people who seemed to be content enough without her. Nick was happy regardless if she was there or not. “Yeah. That sounds nice.” Remembering that her mom was on the patio, she added, “Let’s go out through the front.”
He nodded, so she led him outside, ignoring the butler as she did. It wasn’t that she intended to be rude. She was just afraid the butler would note the guilt in her eyes. She really shouldn’t be running off to talk to Mark when Nick was upstairs, especially at their engagement party. But she needed to talk to him. While she knew she should work through her emotions, it was easier to do so when Mark was with her. Plus, he wouldn’t judge her.
“Which way do you want to go?” Mark asked as they stepped onto the porch.
“Somewhere private,” she replied. “I don’t want anyone overhearing us.” Or at least that’s what she told herself. She took a deep breath to help settle her nerves.
“We can go in the direction of the house down there,” he suggested.
Seeing that the path to the house and the beach behind it was vacant, she nodded. “It’s perfect.”
Then, before the internal voice inspired by her mother stopped her from acting on a whim, she hurried down the porch steps, Mark close behind. With a glance over her shoulder, she was assured that no one had followed them.
She let out an uneasy chuckle as they strode away from the house. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s not like I’m a little kid skipping class.” And yet, that was exactly how she felt.
“I think you’re just eager to get out of that house,” Mark said.
“Am I that obvious?”
“I don’t think anyone else noticed. They were too busy talking to other people.”
“The party is a success.” She couldn’t deny that. “Everyone’s enjoying it. That’s good.”
“Yeah, it’s good for them. But not for you.”
Noting the soft tone in his voice, she slowed her pace. She glanced back at Nick’s house and relaxed. They were far away from it now, and better yet, no one was coming after them. She returned her attention to Mark. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I mean, I know what I’m doing, but I don’t know why I’m doing it. I’m one week away from marrying Nick and the closer I get to the wedding day…” She shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
After a long moment of silence passed between them, he said, “That night we went to the art gallery, you mentioned that you weren’t sure if you were marrying Nick because you wanted to or because your mother wanted you to.”
Yes, she had said that. And then she regretted voicing the thought aloud, but it was one she couldn’t keep fighting. “This marriage means a lot to my mom.” That admission was harder to voice than she thought it’d be. She fingered the engagement ring on her finger, recalling how excited her mom had been when she first saw it. “My mom has her heart set on me finding a good husband. I know she drives Caitlyn crazy, but she’s really not as bad as my sister makes her out to be. I mean yes, the woman drives everyone crazy to some extent. I’m not saying it’s easy being her daughter, but deep down, she wants what’s best for us. Does that make sense?”
“It does.”
She paused and removed her shoes so she’d have an easier time walking on the sand.
“I’ll hold those for you,” Mark offered.
“Thanks.” She handed him her shoes and wiggled her toes. Even through the pantyhose, the warm sand felt good. “Don’t you want to take your shoes off?”
“Nah. I’m okay with them on, unless you want to walk along the shore.”
“Not when I have pantyhose on.”
“Why don’t we walk over to that bench?” He pointed to the white bench a quarter of a mile from where they stood. She glanced back at Nick’s house, and he added, “No one from there will notice us. We’re too far away.”
She relaxed. “It’s silly that I spend so much time worrying about what others think. I shouldn’t. Caitlyn doesn’t.” Recalling the way Caitlyn had smiled as she and Chris walked along the beach just moments before, she said, “Caitlyn’s happy.”
“And you’re not?”
She slowed her steps as they neared the bench. “I’m not unhappy.”
“But you’re not happy in the way Caitlyn is, and that bothers you.”
She knew this moment was long in coming, and she knew it would take talking to Mark to force her to confront things she’d been ignoring for much too long.
“Lexie, marriage is a lifelong decision,” Mark softly told her. “It should be done because you want to do it, not because you have to.”
“Ideally, that’s true, but there are people who have arranged marriages, even in this day and age. Not every marriage is based on love.”
“You have a point. But in your case, you don’t have to marry Nick. This isn’t an arranged marriage. You don’t even have to marry for convenience. You live in a country that allows you to choose who you want to marry, and better yet, you can marry because of love.”
“Yeah, I know.”
They reached the bench, and he waited for her to sit before he joined her. “I don’t want to come across as being pushy.”
“You’re not.” After a moment of silence,
she continued, “The truth is, I haven’t had the courage to face the situation. I keep thinking over that question you asked, about what it is that I want, but I can’t answer it.”
“What’s holding you back from answering it?”
“Fear.” Even as she admitted it, she winced.
“Fear that you can’t find someone else to marry?”
“No. I’m afraid of what my mother will think of me. I’m a grown woman, but you wouldn’t know it by the way I let her run my life. That’s why I envy Caitlyn. She does what she wants, regardless of what our mother thinks. I know in order to be happy, I have to do that, too.”
“So what do you want?”
Her face flushed as she looked at him. He didn’t ask easy questions. For sure, the questions required her to be more vulnerable than she preferred, but she also knew he was asking necessary ones. “I don’t want to marry Nick,” she finally admitted, and by saying it aloud, it seemed so final. “I want to be with a man who I can talk to and be myself with. I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not. I don’t just want a lover. I want a friend. Someone like…” Warmth rose from her neck to her cheeks. Someone like him.
“Lexie?”
She broke eye contact. His tone was so tender, like a caress. It was nothing like the way Nick said her name. With Nick, it was pleasant, but not intimate. Nick didn’t love her the way she wanted to be loved, and she didn’t love him the way a wife should love her husband either. But with Mark… she thought there was a future for them, a future similar to what Caitlyn and Chris shared.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and finally returned her gaze to his. “I don’t want to marry him,” she admitted, her voice almost drowned as the waves crashed nearby.
“Then don’t,” he replied, making the whole thing sound so simple.
And maybe it was simple. She let out a hesitant chuckle. It wasn’t like her to make a hasty decision about anything. Her life had always been one of careful planning—and mostly following her mother’s direction. Maybe it was time to throw caution to the wind and see what would happen.
In a bold move that surprised her, she closed her eyes and leaned toward him. Never in her life had she initiated a kiss, but it felt right to do it now. Her lips caressed his, silently asking him if he wanted her to continue. His hand cupped the side of her face, and he deepened the kiss.
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