I was doing great until I was back home alone. Every time that happened lately I felt like the walls were closing in on me. It was weird, because I used to prefer being alone. Alexa was the first person I ever met that I actually wanted to see every day. In the past, even when I was in a relationship for a long time, I was good with a couple days a week.
I spent the rest of that day obsessing and the next day was pretty much an exact duplicate. Finally on the third day after my disaster of a date with Kristie I called Alexa, pushing the button quickly before I could change my mind. She picked up on the second ring, “Hello?”
“Hey.”
“I’m glad you called. I’ve been thinking about calling you all week.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I went to your fight the other night. You were awesome.”
My mind went to Kristie and I automatically began to sweat. It was stupid. I didn’t do anything wrong. “Oh yeah? Why didn’t you say hi?”
“I didn’t think it was the time or place to talk to you. I wanted to apologize about that last night we were together. I don’t have any right to judge you. Everyone makes mistakes. I think my emotions are just on such high alert lately because of Emma.”
“Yeah, mine too. I miss her like crazy. But thanks for the apology. I appreciate it.”
“I mean it,” she said. “I’ve felt so bad since that night.”
“You should have called me,” I told her.
“Yeah, I should have. I’m stubborn like that.”
“Can I see you?”
“I’d like that,” she said. “When?”
“Tomorrow afternoon? Maybe I can order a pizza and we can talk, watch a movie, play a game…whatever. I just want to see you.”
“I want to see you too,” she said. “I’ll be there.”
I hung up and mentally kicked myself for not calling sooner. Oh well, I finally have something real to look forward to. I couldn’t wait to see her.
******
ALEXA
I woke up early the morning after Ian called me with a smile on my face. The anticipation about seeing him later was balled up in my chest and coursed through my veins like a dose of nervous energy. It tingled through me like electric sparks and eventually gathered in my toes. Once I got out of bed, I couldn’t sit still. The house was spotless clean from my cleaning binge last week and there was nothing left to do…so I went out for a run. While I was out, I decided to run by Emma’s house and see her mom. Ian’s mom too, I suppose. It was weird, but I still just thought of them as Emma’s parents. Anyways, I’d been putting it off, but I had to do it. I knocked on the door twice and was about to leave before her mom pulled open the door. My heart hurt when I saw her. She looked like she had aged ten years in the past month. She was pale and her usually beautiful dark hair was un-styled and uncut and the gray was more plentiful now than the dark brown. Her eyes were rimmed with pink…probably from crying herself to sleep at night. I almost regretted coming until her face broke out in a smile and some of the old spark was there in her eyes.
“Alexa! Hi honey! How are you?” She grabbed me up in a bear hug and when she let me go I said, “I’m good. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I was out for a run and I thought I’d just come by really quickly and say hello. Are you doing okay?”
“Fine,” she said, “Oh Alexa! Come in honey! I’m sorry.” She led me into the living room. It was dark in there like my room had been for that entire week I was so depressed and mad at the sun. The house was really clean though. I could probably run a white glove over things and come back without a speck of dust. I wondered if that was what she’d been doing with her time.
“The house looks really nice,” I said. It was for lack of anything better to say but I was surprised when she said, “Thank you. It’s all Ian. He comes by and cleans two or three times a week. I tell him not to, but it makes him feel better to help.” My heart swelled at that thought and at the same time I was angry at myself again for the assumptions I’d made about him. There was no way he was anything but a good man. Only a good man would take such good care of his family.
“How is your husband doing?”
“It’s up and down for us both, you know? He went to work today. That usually means it’s a good day for him. They let him make his own schedule since technically he’s retired already, so that’s nice too. When he’s having a bad day, he stays home and works in his shop.”
“I know that feeling. Good days and bad days.”
She looked lost for a second and then she said, “I don’t have many good ones. It’s so hard to know what to do…you know?”
“I know. I wish I came here today with some words of wisdom, but I can barely function some days myself.”
She nodded and looked like she was fighting back tears. Then suddenly she said, “Oh! Ian brought over the best cookies yesterday. Do you want some coffee or tea and some cookies?”
Ian brought over cookies. This guy was killing me. “Sure, that sounds good,” I told her. We went into the kitchen and while she was fussing over making tea I looked at the chalkboard hanging on the wall. It said: “Dinner is in the microwave. Eat. Both of you. I love you both so much! Ian.” I felt the tears stinging my own eyes as I read that. His mom noticed me looking at it and she said, “He leaves dinner a few times a week too. I’m not sure that either of us would have made it through this without him. He’s been our rock.”
I understood that. He was mine too.
*****
After my visit with his mom, I was even more excited about seeing Ian than I thought possible. There is nothing sexier to me than a man who takes care of his family. So what if he screwed up when he was a kid. He was a man now and from what I saw, a damned good one. I started getting ready for our evening early. I couldn’t sit still anyways without staring at the clock. It wasn’t moving fast enough and it was making me crazy. I took a long bubble bath and then I spent almost an hour deciding what to wear. I wanted to look good for him, but I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard. I finally settled on a tan A-line skirt that came to just above my knee with a tan lace blouse and a camisole underneath. It was casual but nice at the same time. I wore my tan cowboy boots with it and I straightened my hair. I just let it fall to my shoulders and frame my face. Nothing fancy, but again, nice. I put on just enough make-up to make my eyelashes pop and my lips look a little plumper. When I was finally ready, I was pleased with the look. I looked at my phone. It was two-fifteen and I had a text from my dad. It said, “Honey, if you’re okay I was going to have a drink with Tom after work and then I’ll be home.”
I texted back.
“I’m going to spend some time with a friend tonight. Don’t worry about me. Stay at Tom’s if you drink. I don’t want to worry about you.”
I got one back that said, “Okay, but if you won’t be home, text me, okay?”
He needed some medication. His neurosis was getting out of hand.
“I probably won’t be, Dad. But I’m going to be at my friend’s house, not out driving. Please don’t worry.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
CHAPTER NINE
ALEXA
I made it over to Ian’s apartment right around three o’clock. I met the pizza guy on the stairs. I knocked on the door and Ian pulled it open. He looked surprised to see me. I think he thought the pizza guy had forgotten something. He looked me over and the look he had in his eyes made me all tingly inside. “Wow, you look…wow. Come in.” I felt my face go hot from his compliment. He didn’t have to finish the sentence. His face said it all and I was so glad.
I stepped inside and he closed the door and then he said, “Damn, I missed you.” He opened his arms but he looked like he wasn’t sure if he should hug me or not. I stepped into them and he wrapped me up in his strong arms. It felt really good to be there. “I’m glad you came,” he said.
“Me too.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Yeah, sure,” I sai
d. He went into the little kitchen and took out two plates. He handed me one and then opened both of the giant pizza’s he’d ordered. One was half cheese and half pepperoni. The other was half all meat and half bacon and jalapeno.
“I forgot to ask what you like on your pizza,” he said. I laughed, “I like it all,” I said. “But I hope you’re really hungry or you like leftover pizza because I don’t think we’ll be able to eat all of this.”
“I’m really hungry,” he said. “And I love leftover pizza.” He grinned and said, “You first.” I took a piece of the bacon and jalapeno and one of the all meat. He smiled again and said, “My kind of girl. Beer or soda?”
“Water?”
He made a face and said, “All I have is tap.”
“That’s fine.”
He looked relieved, like he was afraid I would be mad about the water. He grabbed me a glass of and filled it with ice before he put the water in it and then grabbed himself a beer. We took it all into the living room and sat on the couch with it. We started eating and I said, “So when’s your next fight?”
“Next week,” he said. “I can’t believe you were there the other night and you didn’t even say hello.”
“I was embarrassed by my behavior the last time I saw you and not even sure if you’d want to see me or not.” I decided it was best to be honest.
“Well, for future reference, I always want to see you.”
It made me feel all warm inside when he said that. “I saw your mom earlier.”
“You did? Where?”
“I was out for a run so I stopped by. We had tea and cookies. It seems her amazing son brought them by.”
He looked embarrassed but then he asked, “Did she really say that?”
“I’m not sure I recall the exact words, but something to that effect. She also said that you’ve been their rock and they couldn’t have gotten through any of this without you.”
He had a weird look on his face and for a second I was afraid I said the wrong thing. Then all of a sudden he said, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For going to see her for one thing. Other than family…most of which live out of town, hardly anyone goes over anymore. It’s understandable. People don’t know what to say and it’s so depressing over there. But I know that she had to be so happy to see you.”
“She acted like she was. I told her I would go back by soon. Maybe I can coax her out for lunch or something.”
“That would be great. She needs to get out. Thank you.”
I laughed, “You don’t have to keep saying thank you. I genuinely love your parents. I spent as much time with them growing up as I did my own dad. I feel bad that it took me so long to go see her. I’ve been really selfish.”
“Don’t say that. You were dealing with your own grief. If anyone understands that, it’s my mom.”
“I guess,” I said. “It was harder when you and I weren’t talking. I was more prone to lapsing into feeling sorry for myself.”
“Me too,” he said.
He looked sincere and I knew again that I wasn’t alone.
I ate both pieces of my pizza and for some reason that seemed to make Ian really happy. He kept saying he liked a woman who would eat. After we put our dishes away he said, “You want to watch a movie or something?”
“Sure.” He put on a video. It was one of the Fast and Furious ones…twelve or a hundred, whatever number they’re on. It’s not my favorite movie but I wasn’t going to complain. I was getting to spend time with Ian and Vin Diesel was in the movie. It was a win/win. Ian reached over and put his arm around me while we were watching it. It felt so comfortable and so right to be with him. I snuggled down into him and let myself fantasize that I lived here with him. I wondered what it would be like to wake up every morning in his arms. I pictured us making our meals together and me fixing things up so it didn’t look like such a man’s house. I could even see the color of the walls and the curtains I would hang. I had all of these thoughts before I even realized it and caught myself. We had barely started dating. And so far, I’d already called it quits on us twice for stupid reasons. We weren’t even close to being ready to live together. It was a fun fantasy though, so I guess it’s okay. Anything fun these days, although abstract is a good thing.
“Hey Alexa?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
I giggled. “For what now?”
“For being here. You know how my mom said I’ve been their rock?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you’ve been mine. I really don’t know how I would have survived this without you.”
I turned my face towards his and said, “Me neither, without you.”
He leaned in and kissed me softly…just a light brush of his lips against mine, but it sent jolts of electricity down my spine. Once again I thought about how right it felt to be here. He pulled me back so that my upper back was against his chest and while we watched the movie, he brushed his hand through my hair. I felt him lean his face into it and inhale and then I think he kissed my head. I don’t know why, but for some reason that seemed really intimate and I liked it a lot. After a few more minutes he said, “You want to see something really cool?”
“Always,” I said. I felt him getting up and I wanted to change my answer. I didn’t want him to go anywhere.
“I’ll be right back.” He went into his room and came back out with a magazine. He sat back down next to me and I could see that it was a UFC magazine with some big, burly guy on the front. He flipped it open to a page that had been dog-eared and then laid it across my lap. He pointed to the small article at the bottom of the page. It was one of those, “Up and Coming” interviews where they only ask about five questions. The photo was of Ian in his fight gear. It said, “Interview with MMA’s current star. Is Ian Michaels UFC’s future?”
“Wow, Ian! That is cool. I knew you were good. I didn’t know you were a star.”
“I’m not sure how you missed it,” he said, “I shine so brightly.”
I laughed, “That’s true. I’d have to be blind.” I read the little interview. It asked him where he grew up and how he became interested in fighting. There was a part in there where they asked him if he was married, single or in a relationship, for all the female fans who lust after him. It said single and I felt a tiny little tickle of jealousy. It was quickly replaced with one of pride. I was here with him. Not them. Let them lust.
“When did you do this?”
“It was about three months ago. I kind of forgot about it with…everything going on. I wouldn’t have even known it came out if they hadn’t emailed me.”
“Did you show your mom?”
“Nah, she doesn’t want to see stuff like this, especially now.”
“What do you mean? She’s so proud of you. I bet she would love this.”
“Did she say that…that she was proud of me?”
The poor thing really had no idea. He seemed so confident on the outside, but things like that made me wonder. “Not exactly, but I can see it all over her face when she talks about you.”
“She won’t watch me fight.”
“It’s hard, Ian. I don’t think I could watch one of my kids do it. It’s hard for me to watch you sometimes.”
“But you come anyways.” I could tell it really bothered him that his mom didn’t.
“Yes I do. I love it. I just get a little freaked out when you’re getting hit. Does your dad come see you sometimes?”
“Not often. I guess it’s hard on them.”
“I’m sure. But I really think they’d like to see this. The hard part is watching what you do. Worrying about you getting hurt. I don’t think it stops them from being proud of you.”
“Maybe when they’re feeling better,” he said. It was sad to me that he didn’t seem to know how much his parents thought of him. I wasn’t just blowing smoke when I told him how proud his mom looked when she talked about him. He had really stepped up for th
em after Emma died. I wasn’t sure he knew how much that meant to them.
“I think definitely. You have to show them. This is awesome.”
“I will then,” he said. He looked happy that. He took it back out of my hand and set it aside and then he wrapped me up in his arms again. This time he kissed me. I loved the feel of his full lips against mine. I let my mouth fall open so he could slide his tongue in and I leaned back into the couch and let him explore my mouth. He’s an amazing kisser. His kisses are the stuff that dreams are made of and fantasies are born from.
I felt one of his hands in my hair again. It wasn’t brushing softly anymore. He was wrapping his fingers up in it and tugging my head back. When my neck was exposed he slid his mouth down and put his lips there. He sucked his way across it, causing me to shiver with desire. I love the way he touches me. The only problem with it ever is when he stops. He stopped after a few minutes and pulled his head up to look at me with those pretty blue eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a breathless voice. “I’m not letting you watch the movie.”
“What movie?” I asked him. He grinned and came back in for another kiss. This time he lay back and pulled me so that I was lying up on his chest. We kissed passionately and I could feel him getting hard underneath me. I broke our kiss and found his neck. I let my tongue run across the pulsating artery there and then I kissed my way across it, finally ending at the side of it where it meets his shoulder. I lightly bit down on the flesh there and I heard him moan. He lifted his hips slightly off the couch and rubbed his erection up against me. We both moaned.
“Alexa?” he said in a breathless voice.
“Yes?”
“You know I didn’t call you over here just for this, right?”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Yeah, I know. But it’s all I came for, this and the pizza.”
He laughed, “You are really my kind of girl.”
CHAPTER TEN
ALEXA
“You want to go to my bedroom?” he whispered in a husky voice. “Or do you want to be wild and adventurous and do it right here on the couch?”
“Right here,” I said. He grinned at me and wrapped his right hand back up in my hair. He held it there while he kissed me. His hands soon traveled down to my hips and pulled me in tighter. He moved his lips to my neck and began to kiss across it. I was dying to touch him so while he did that, I ran my hands up underneath his shirt. He reached down and grabbed it by the hem and pulled it off. He tossed it aside and said, “I didn’t want you to be inhibited.”
Best Friend's Brother #3 (Best Friend's Brother Romance Series - Book #3) Page 4