by Tesha Geddes
❀
“Mathis,” Kaida asked as she stitched the spine of an old and slightly cantankerous magical book, “could I get the information for that therapist?”
Mathis nodded and told her to remind him before she left. She was grateful that he hadn’t asked about the break-in –– she’d spent all night thinking about it and just wanted to forget about it for a short while. She relaxed and let herself get lost in the work. When she put the book in the press and reached for the next one, she looked around in surprise. The once-cluttered workshop was surprisingly clean –– only a few short stacks of books remained.
“Um, Mathis,” Kaida asked hesitantly, “where did all the books go?”
Mathis looked at her and let out a barking laugh. “My dear, we’ve finished all of them. Thanks to you, we’ve not only been able to keep up with our work, but we’ve also been able to catch up. Not only do you work quickly, but your innate healing power has returned a lot of speed and dexterity to my aging hands –– my arthritis hasn’t bothered one bit in the last few weeks. You’ve come a long way –– you just might finish your apprenticeship by the end of the year.”
“Is that fast?” Kaida asked.
Mathis nodded. “Yes. It normally takes two years –– more, if the apprentice doesn’t have a steady supply of books to repair. You’ve had an amazing mix of luck, skill, and hard work on your side. You have a natural talent for understanding magical books and their needs, plus your purification mist is better than any stain-removing potion. You’ve also been lucky enough to have a large supply of books to plow through. And, you’ve had a pretty great teacher.” He followed this compliment with a wink. “But, more than any of that, you’ve shown a dedication and attention to detail that most people lack. You work hard, and you listen –– and those are things no one can teach you.”
Kaida smiled and quietly thanked Mathis, then bent her head and went back to work. As she did, she replayed the conversation she’d had with him back on pack land –– she’d thought about it a lot but hadn’t come to a decision yet. It was hard for her to imagine that her books had helped someone do anything more than take notes. But, if what Mathis said was true, her magical books were drastically improving people’s lives. She wanted to stick with Mathis, the first person to believe in her and treat her like she was worth something, but could she really turn her back on the people that needed her? If she did choose to leave Mathis and strike out on her own, where would she make the books, and how would she get them into the hands of the people that needed them? What if Mathis was exaggerating their effects? What if they were no more helpful than a mundane journal? If so, starting her own business would be incredibly foolish. She bit back a frustrated growl as her thoughts circled around again. Thankfully, she didn’t have to make a decision until her apprenticeship was complete. Though, according to Mathis, that wasn’t too far off.
❀
Kaida stood outside the short, two-story building and tried to calm her quaking nerves. Could she really do this? Could she open up about her past to a complete stranger? It had been hard enough to open up even a little to Celicia. She hadn’t even told her roommates everything she’d told Celicia. And now she was going to walk into a room with a total stranger for the express purpose of talking about her past. Mathis trusted him, and that was the only reason she was here.
“If he gives off any weird vibes, I’ll just leave,” Kaida said to herself. “Leave and never come back.”
Sen put his hand on Kaida’s shoulder in wordless support. She turned and leaned into him, and he pulled her into his arms. She took a deep breath, drawing strength and peace from the hug. A distant part of her mind wondered when she’d become so comfortable with physical contact. She mentally shook her head –– she wasn’t comfortable with everyone, mostly just Sen. She took a step back and gave Sen a shaky smile before turning to climb the stairs. She’d originally planned on coming alone, but Mathis insisted she let Sen drive her the first few times –– at least until she was comfortable enough to go on her own. She felt bad for troubling him like this but was grateful for his presence.
They reached the office as another couple was leaving. The woman wasn’t paying attention and smacked into Kaida.
“I’m so sorry!” the woman exclaimed, disentangling herself from Kaida. Then she paused, looked narrowly at Kaida and then sniffed her.
Kaida took an involuntary step backward, not used to strangers sniffing her.
“It’s you!” the woman exclaimed, throwing her arms around her. “I can’t believe it! It’s you! Thank you so much!”
“Sen, help,” Kaida begged, overwhelmed.
“Ivory,” the woman’s companion, a tall, broad man, said before Sen could intervene, “let the girl go. She has no idea what you’re talking about. And frankly, neither do the rest of us.”
The woman promptly let Kaida go and turned to the man, saying, “Tusk, don’t you see? It’s her! She made the books! Give her a sniff!”
“It’s not polite to sniff strangers,” Tusk replied, giving Ivory a disapproving frown. “Are you sure this isn’t one of your episodes?”
“I’m not crazy,” Ivory said with a huff. “Not about this anyway.” She pulled something out of her bag and held it out to Kaida, asking, “You made this, didn’t you?”
Kaida looked down at the familiar thin blue book in Ivory’s hands and nodded silently –– that was one of her books.
“See!” Ivory said, rounding on Tusk. “I told you it was her!” She turned to Kaida and gave her a big hug, saying, “Thank you! You gave me my mind back, and my life.”
Kaida would have fallen over when Ivory released her if it hadn’t been for Sen steadying her.
“How did you know it was me?” Kaida asked, her mind reeling.
“Fun fact: elephant shifters have a great sense of smell, even in our human forms –– better than bloodhounds,” Ivory said with a grin as she shook her long, silky black hair out of her face. “Your books smell like you.”
“Um…” Kaida muttered, unsure of what to say in response.
Just then, a thin man with short, silvering red hair stepped out the door. “Is everything alright?”
“It’s her!” Ivory exclaimed, throwing an arm around Kaida’s shoulders, and the young girl involuntarily stiffened. “She made the books!”
“I know you’re excited, but why don’t you let your new friend go, and we can go inside and talk about this?” the man said to Ivory, who reluctantly let Kaida go. Then he looked at Kaida and said, extending his hand, “I’m Rai, you must be Kaida.”
Kaida nodded silently and followed Rai inside with Sen close on her heels. Ivory and Tusk followed behind them, Ivory practically bouncing, and Tusk wearing an inscrutable expression. Rai asked Sen to wait in the waiting room, but Kaida intervened, saying she wanted Sen present. She’d been fine when she thought it was just going to be her and Dr. Quill, but with the addition of Tusk and Ivory, she wanted Sen’s support. Rai glanced at Ivory and Tusk, who both nodded in assent.
They sat around a table in a small conference room that Rai said was used for group therapy sessions. Kaida unconsciously reached for Sen’s hand after she sat. She wasn’t sure what to expect. Was she supposed to open up about her past to these two random strangers, one of whom seemed to be one of Dr. Quill’s patients? Rai looked at Ivory and Tusk, as if asking permission for something. Ivory nodded eagerly, and Tusk gave a short, curt nod.
“Kaida,” Rai began, “as you know, your mentor gave me a few of your magical books in hopes that they would be of benefit to my patients. Ivory”––he nodded at the woman––“and Tusk”––he nodded at the taciturn man––“each received one of your books. I will let them share their experience with your books at their discretion. If at any point any of you are uncomfortable, just say the word and we’ll stop.”
Kaida let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding –– this wasn’t about her after all. She looked at Ivory, who looked
like she was about to burst from keeping it in.
“A few years ago, I started hearing voices, and seeing things,” Ivory said. “At first, it was only on occasion, but it got worse… a lot worse. Eventually, I couldn’t tell what was real and what was only in my mind. I ended up losing my job, my home, everything. When my brother, Tusk, returned home from being deployed, he found me and convinced me to move in with him. Then I started seeing Dr. Quill. It took a lot for him to earn my trust –– I wasn’t entirely convinced he was real. We tried so many different kinds of medications… some helped, but most didn’t. Those that helped left my mind in such a fog that I was barely more than a zombie, so I hated taking them. But then, Dr. Quill gave me this book. I was skeptical at first, but I realized that at worst, it would do nothing, and at the very least, it wasn’t another pill. When I held the book for the first time, I knew something was different about it. Just holding the book made my mind sharper and clearer than it had been in a long time. Then I started writing in it, and as I wrote about my day, I was able to tell the difference between fact and fiction. After a few days, I was able to tell when I was having a hallucination, and not just when I was writing about it. Then the hallucinations came less frequently.” She paused and blinked rapidly, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “I haven’t hallucinated in three days. I’ve got a new job. I’m starting to feel like myself again. And it’s all because of that book you made.”
Kaida’s heart ached for the woman. What a terrible life it would be to not be able to trust that what you saw or heard was real. As glad as she was that Ivory was doing better, she had a hard time believing that her books were responsible for all of that.
“I have PTSD,” Tusk said brusquely. “Your books help.”
Ivory snorted and said, “That’s like saying the sun is bright. You need to give her more to go on.”
Rai cleared his throat and gave Ivory a significant look, and Ivory sighed in defeat.
Tusk gave Kaida a long, hard look before saying, “Your book helped me as much as it did Ivory.”
When it was clear that Tusk was unwilling to elaborate, Rai quietly escorted the siblings out of the room.
Chapter 22
Kaida was silent as they left the office after her appointment. She had a lot to think about and needed time to process it all. She hadn’t told Rai everything she’d been through –– there wasn’t nearly enough time for that, but he’d sat and listened. Then he’d given her some advice and told her to start keeping a journal in one of her magical books. She’d protested, saying that surely someone else needed it more. Rai had looked at her kindly and sternly told her that her trauma was no less significant than anyone else’s.
“You know, Jacob’s Campground is only a few minutes away,” Sen said as they buckled into his truck.
Kaida looked over at Sen in surprise. “How do you always know what I need?” she asked.
Sen smiled at her and replied, “I don’t. I know that whenever I have a lot stewing around in my mind, I like to go for a run in the woods. I think we’re alike in that regard.”
Kaida’s heart warmed at the thought there was something she and Sen shared. She smiled at him and said, “I don’t want to keep you from anything, but a run would be nice.”
“Don’t worry about me,” Sen said. “I’m exactly where I need to be.”
❀
Tusk lay back on his bed, listening to the rain hit the window, shaken to his very core. That’s why that scent was so familiar. He hadn’t been able to tell when the scent was just on the book, but once he’d gotten a good whiff of the girl, he knew. All elephant shifters had good noses, as Ivory had informed the girl, but some, like him, could even smell bloodlines. And that purple-haired girl smelled like the captain. That petite, terrified girl was his captain’s daughter. The question was, what was he going to do with that information? His captain was one of the most terrifying dragons he’d ever met. A storm dragon of unparalleled power, Mordecai Furywings struck terror into his enemies, even other dragons. Tusk did not want to be on the receiving end of Mordecai’s wrath, though if he kept information about the captain’s daughter a secret, that just might be where he’d end up.
Unlike most dragons, Mordecai didn’t mind interacting with his non-dragon subordinates, so he had a pretty good relationship with those under his command. He also never went home –– Tusk was pretty sure he hadn’t gone home in over a decade. There had been whispers around base about a failed marriage and a wayward son, but it wasn’t until that fateful night that he’d discovered his captain was hiding a far darker secret.
❀
Tusk was out for a run, winding through the streets of the small town next to the base when an unseasonable storm blew in. It wasn’t long before the rain began falling in heavy sheets, forcing Tusk to abandon his run and seek shelter in the nearest building, which happened to be a pub. There were only a few patrons in the pub, and only one was drunk. Well, that explained where the sudden storm came from.
Tusk walked over to the drunk dragon and shook his shoulder, saying, “Captain, sir, we need to get you back to base.” Back to where they could get a power-dampening bracelet on him until he was sober enough to control his power again.
“No, leave me alone,” Mordecai growled, trying to shove Tusk away. “You… you don’t understand.” His words were slightly slurred, a little hard to make out. “I–if I go back… they’ll make me kill her.”
That made Tusk stop in his tracks. Kill who? He didn’t know, but he sincerely hoped these were just drunken ramblings.
“Sir, we need to go, now,” Tusk insisted as he signaled the bartender for some coffee.
“No,” Mordecai protested. “I… can’t do it. I won’t do it. I won’t kill her –– she’s my daughter.”
Tusk froze. His daughter? In all the years Tusk had known him, Mordecai hadn’t said a single word about having a daughter.
“And why would you have to do that?” Tusk asked, still trying to get the drunk dragon to his feet.
“That’s what we do, y’know,” Mordecai whimpered, “to the weak. They say she’s not… not worthy, so she can’t live. But I can’t do it.”
Tusk scoffed –– his captain was spewing utter nonsense, and judging by the state of the storm, he needed to get the drunkard back to base sooner rather than later. He called up one of his buddies on base and within a few minutes, a military vehicle was parked in front of the pub –– a drunk storm dragon was no joke. Between the two of them, they managed to wrestle the drunk dragon into the backseat. After getting a power-dampening cuff slapped on his wrist and his off-base privileges revoked for a month, Mordecai slept off the drink in one of the base’s holding cells.
When Tusk had jokingly asked Mordecai about what he’d said while he was drunk, his captain had slammed him against the wall, and with his arm pinned against Tusk’s throat, told him in no uncertain terms that if he were to tell anyone about what he’d heard, his daughter’s life was forfeit, and Tusk would pay for it with his own life. Then he dropped Tusk and said, “She’s why I stay. Every day I’m here is another day she lives.”
Tusk wanted to think Mordecai was doing the right thing, but he didn’t. Sure, Mordecai wasn’t killing his daughter, but he left her with people who wanted her dead. It was only a matter of time before someone else took matters into their own hands. He wrestled with the dilemma of what to do for the rest of his deployment, and long after he got home. He wanted to help that girl, but who could he trust? If he said the wrong thing to the wrong person, he may as well have killed her himself. The guilt of inaction ate him alive and haunted his dreams. But he wasn’t the only one affected by that night –– as far as he knew, Mordecai never touched another drink.
❀
A knock on the door startled Tusk out of his thoughts. Who would be at the door at this hour? He rolled out of bed and went to the door. He looked out the peephole and cursed. Think of the devil and he’ll appear… sloppy drunk if his posture was any
indication. He heaved a weary sigh and opened the door.
“Captain,” Tusk said with a barely restrained growl when he saw who stood in front of him. “To what do I owe this dubious pleasure at dark o’clock in the morning?”
He knew he should be more polite to the captain, but he just didn’t have it in him.
“She’s gone!” Mordecai sobbed, throwing himself against the elephant shifter. “She’s gone! I thought if I stayed away, she’d be safe, but she wasn’t. And now she’s gone. My little girl is gone!”
So that’s what this was about.
“There, there,” Tusk said awkwardly, patting the drunk dragon shifter on the back as he herded him to the couch.
A flash of light lit up the window, followed immediately by a booming peal of thunder. Great. He was stuck with the drunk storm dragon until he sobered enough to control his powers. He unceremoniously dumped his soaking wet captain on the couch and looked around for some tissues.