Some of us laughed and looked at each other and shrugged.
The front door EXPLODED. Dark smoke filled the room with much coughing and gagging and vomiting...my hearing: nothing but a loud, high pitched tone. The smoke cleared, and a woman cried out, hands yanking on her hair. The explosion had stripped the meat off her bones from the neck down. She collapsed next to a slush pile of innards. I heard the jingling of boots; out of the blast-opening walked a woman chewing on a cigar, wearing a red vest and red pants. This was a real cowgirl complete with red painted pistols on her belt.
“Howdy, all! It's dyin' time!”
Veronica stood up, breasts jiggling, pussy still running that sweet juice like an open facet turned to full blast.
“Shit! It's Gia! The bounty hunter! Run away!”
The naked folk screamed and threw their hands up and ran by me. I was too afraid to do anything. I felt like I was staring into the face of a wild werewolf, and any sudden movements would shock it enough to attack. Some of the naked women accepted death and sat on the ground and bit their nails like typewriters. Others ran and hid in dark corners, hugging each other and sniveling. However, oddly enough, one couple stood in the middle of the chaos, french kissing and rubbing sensitive fleshy parts. Other cowgirls walked around Gia. They whipped out their pistols and aimed into the meat gallery. Gia puffed on her cigar and winked.
“Ready...aim...fire!”
I ran behind Veronica's skull throne...peeked out...watched as everyone blew up as those hot bullets hit meat and bone. The oblivious kissing couple kept loving each other even as their flesh flew off in chunks – even as they stood as two skeletons – even as those around them dropped dead – they still kissed...those skeletal fingers massaging bone. Gia launched a bazooka at them, blowing them up into a rain of bones.
After all of this depression, the place was a mix of smoke and piss and blood and cooked meats. Veronica was on the ground, hiding under a dead, headless body. Gia kicked it away and aimed her gun at the weeping vampire underneath.
“I've been looking for you,” Gia said. “How long has it been?”
Veronica got on her knees, hands in prayer.
“Please let me live. I promise to never sleep with your husband again. I'll break up with Russle! I promise!”
“He's dead.”
Veronica's face dropped.
“What did you say?”
“I had enough of his cheating ways, so I shot him full of holes. You should have seen how all that milk dribbled out of him.”
“You monster!”
Gia spat out her cigar...said: “I know,” and shot Veronica in the head. The vampire queen exploded into a rainbow of colors. As if waiting for permission, so did all the other body parts – even the piles of flesh and blood puddles. In a matter of seconds, the train car was spotless and smelling of vanilla. Wolves on dark hilltops howled and ran off under the Moon.
Gia saw me looking, and smiled.
“Bullets dipped in holy water,” she said out loud, waving her gun at me. “Come on out so I can kill you.”
My eyes scanned the place for a weapon – a chair leg, a real leg, anything....
Gia rolled her eyes and shrugged. Cowgirls ran over and picked me up by the limbs and hair as I kicked and shrieked for them to: “Fuck off!” They tossed me to Gia's feet. I looked up, and tears flooded my eyes as the gun touched my forehead. Gia nodded.
“Tell Satan I say hi.”
Her finger squeezed the trigger....
Then a miracle happened....
SNAP!
Gia cried out and danced around in pain, trying to kick Kelly off her foot. The limbless torso had its teeth in Gia – deep as a bear trap. I seized the moment and kicked Gia in the vagina. She flew across the room and crashed through a wall, leaving behind a hole in the shape of her body – arms and legs spread out. All the other cowgirls ran over to help.
“Boss!” they said all together. “Holly shit! Boss, are you all right?”
Kelly jumped out at them, screaming, bouncing over their heads and into my arms. I picked up Gia's gun and shot the humans all in the head. I ran out the blast-hole they all came from and climbed up a rope ladder attached to a helicopter. The chilly wind stung my naked bulk – felt like needles on my skin. The pilot shook her gun at me.
“Get off my ass!”
I shot the gun out of her hand, then her cowgirl hat. She seemed genuinely surprised. Kelly jumped into the cockpit and demanded we fly away. I climbed my way up and sat down with my hands on my face. I was tired and confused. What had happened? What was all that madness? My life would never be the same again. The pilot asked where we were going. I picked up her hat and put it on her head.
“Just keep flying. And no funny business.”
The pilot nodded.
“Anything you say, vampire lady! Just keep your monster pet away from me!”
Kelly and I looked at each other and laughed. As we flew off, I saw Gia on top of the train, cursing and shooting at us. I think she was crying.
An hour later, we landed on a cliff as the sun rose and colored the ocean in reds and oranges. Kelly got real close to the pilot.
“No sudden movements,” she said to the crying cowgirl.
I jumped out and stood on the cliff with my legs spread apart and my hands on my hips. I sucked in the morning air – enjoyed the coolness that filled my lungs. Behind me, I heard Kelly yell.
“She's got dynamite!”
I turned just in time to see Kelly bounce out of the helicopter. The pilot blew up, stuffing the cockpit with much gore. Only her legs were unharmed – twitching and smoking. We gathered up the cooked meats and hurried into the forest where we lived for some time, making our clothes from twigs and discarded soda cans, and a house out of mud and rocks, even killing boars and monkeys and spiders for food. Life was good.
The sex was better.
And no taxes.
The End
Check out this bonus sample from
NASTY VAMPIRE NUN
Warning: This short story contains explicit scenes of sensual activity. The characters in this story are over 18. For adult readers only.
“Mike, please...” I moaned, putting my can of beer on the floor of the confessional booth. “The sisters will hear.”
He stopped nibbling my ear and laughed.
“Don't worry. They're out washing my dirty bed sheets. We can moan in pleasure as loud as we want.”
He kissed my neck and ran his hands up my sweaty back, trying desperately to undo my bra. I giggled.
“You shouldn't do this. Not here. You're a priest.”
“And you're a nun. We're even. Now help me with this damn bra.”
I did, and my breasts fell out, jiggling, the air conditioned breeze hardening my nipples. The look on his face was priceless – total awe. It turned me on, and I already felt my pussy simmering. Mike dropped his pants, and I swear I saw steam hiss free from his hot, eager genitals. I reached down and grabbed his cock, stroking its length with corkscrew motions, feeling a cold pearl of pre-cum crawl between my fingers. He let out a sigh and inched forward to kiss me again. Not so fast. I grinned and pulled on his hard meat, its veins bulging. Mike convulsed as he grabbed my exposed breasts with both hands, as if trying not to fall over.
“Oh...Megan....”
After a month of secretly seeing each other, it was our first time doing “it”. I only had on my black heels and (what he lovingly always called) my 'nun headgear'. I released my grip on his cock – his sperm sticking to my hand and stretching like spiderwebs as I licked and slurped my fingers. He grabbed his throbbing dick and started to masturbate feverishly, but I slapped his hand away and kissed him, spitting his cum into his mouth. He gave a look of surprise and sat down, his cock pulsing between his legs and jumping like a diving board as he clenched his butt-cheeks, little droplets of semen running down his shaft. I turned around and sat between his legs and felt the tip of his oozing cock lick my anus. I pushed his
hand away.
“Let me do it, lover,” I said, guiding his penis into my asshole, easing it in slowly, enjoying every inch, my legs shaking. He was so big and hard. I winced and clenched my teeth. It was like sitting on a table leg. When it was all the way in, I exhaled in relief, his hairy balls tickling my buttocks. I reached back and put my palms on his knees, moving my ass up and down as Mike played with my breasts, enjoying their weight, his excited fingers tuning my nipples like radio dials.
“I'm gonna fuck you,” he said, and pushed me forward, hugging me, bouncing me on his cock, by buttocks slapping loudly against his thighs. I could feel his cock inside me grow larger, stretching my pussy, his mushroom head hitting my G-spot. I started to worry about people hearing, but I couldn't hold back my moans. Mike slapped his hand over my mouth.
“Let's cum together,” he whispered into my ear, his voice jumping.
A great tremor of warmth shot through my stomach.
“I'm cumming....”
My mind went blank. I stood up and squirted all over his feet as my legs shook, knees knocking against each other. His cock threw up sperm against my back. I fingered myself, struggling to keep from falling over. My mess splashed onto the ground like a water balloon. When I was empty, I lost all the strength in my legs and fell backwards, sitting on Mike's lap. We struggled to breathe. He wrapped his arms around me as we both marinated in the after-sex high. I said I loved him. To my surprise, he said it back. Hearing it made my heart sing.
“Do you really mean that?”
He nodded.
“Have you thought about what I said earlier? Are you gonna run away with me to Alaska?”
“I don't know,” I said, dressing myself.
“The Eskimos are calling,” he teased, smiling.
“What if Joe finds out? He'll kill us.”
“Don't worry, babe,” Mike said, pulling up his pants. “We have God on our side.”
I was confused and scared. Could I really just up and leave my husband? After two years of Joe's bullshit, maybe it was finally time to call it quits. And I couldn't just simply tell him. Oh, no no no. You don't tell someone like Joe, “Hey, I'm leaving because you're an abusive drunk. Bye.” The only way out with him was to just vanish. After days of pondering Mike's question, my mind was made up. I was going to run away and be happy with my new love. I swung my arms around Mike.
“Yes,” I said. “Yes – let's do it – let's run away to Alaska and be with the Eskimos!”
We hugged, but before we could lock lips, something big hit the door, shaking the booth. We both jumped back, yelping. The woman on the other side screamed like a crazy person:
“I know you're in there! You fucking bastard, get out here!”
Mike pressed his back against the wall.
“Shit! Elsa!”
I couldn't believe it.
“You're wife? You said she was at work.”
He shook his head – words escaping him. Elsa began banging her amazing bulk against the door as we leaned against it. The whole booth fell over, and we crawled out like rats escaping a sinking ship. I made it out the church, but Mike wasn't so lucky. Elsa, weighing in at 400 pounds and an experienced Judo instructor, held his arms back. He squealed like a pig.
“Help me, Megan! Help meeee!”
There was nothing I could do. I was too scared.
End of sample chapter.
To read more, please purchase this story at your favorite online bookstore.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Claudia D. Zawa is the author of "The Tentacle and The Werewolf", "Vampire Lesbian Train", and "Exorcist in Love". She lives in Honolulu, Hawaii.
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BOOKS BY CLAUDIA D. ZAWA
Available at your favorite e-book store!
Vampire Pleasure Train
Warning: This short story contains explicit scenes of sensual activity involving women and vampires on a train. All characters are eighteen and above. Adult readers only. Includes bonus sample from Nasty Vampire Nun.
Suicide Jump Vampires
Two vampires escape from a military experiment and prove their love for each other by jumping off a building. Warning: This short story contains explicit scenes of sensual activity. All characters are eighteen and above. Adult readers only. Includes bonus sample from Vampire Pleasure Train.
Nasty Vampire Nun
A vampire queen living in an ancient pirate ship seduces a suicidal, nasty nun. Warning: This short story contains explicit scenes of sensual activity. All characters are eighteen and above. Adult readers only. Includes bonus sample from Vampire Pleasure Train.
Vampire Pleasure Train Page 2