by Lacey Black
“Different how?”
“I don’t know, really.” She’s quiet for several moments, and even though I want to press her for more info, I sit back and wait. “He still wants to hang out, but I don’t think I can.” She averts her eyes. “I…I, well, I like him.”
“Duh.” The word is out of my mouth before I can rein it in, and if the way she looks at me, full of surprise, she wasn’t expecting me to say it either. “Sorry.”
“I know you all think I’m in love with him, and well, maybe I am a little, but he’s my friend. That’s it.”
“That doesn’t have to be it,” I encourage her.
“Yes it does. He’s made it very clear that he sees me as a friend and nothing more.”
“Things change.”
“No they don’t. Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s a Friday night, you have a boyfriend, and you’re choosing to work instead. Even though you have a reason to go home, you’re here.”
“I’m here because I’m a chicken too.” Again, I surprise even myself with my bluntness.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“Things aren’t working out with Dean and I’m hiding out here and working instead of talking to him and just ending it.”
“Why do you have to end it?”
I want to tell her, dammit I want to confide in her so bad. “It’s complicated.”
“Life is complicated. I want my best friend. I’m the poster child for complicated, Pay.”
“Touché.”
“So tell me about your problem with Dean.”
“He’s great, Abs. He’s caring and doting with his daughter, he’s sexy in that geeky way, and he’s fabulous in bed. He’s picture perfect in the relationship department, and will make some woman very happy in the future.”
“But not you?”
“No, not me,” I tell her with a sigh. “He’s not going to want me.”
“Why would he not? I see the way he looks at you. Not to mention how supportive and amazing he was all through the funeral. He went above and beyond the typical boyfriend, Pay. If it wasn’t so sweet it would have been nauseating.”
“I know. But there’s something that I haven’t told him. Something that’ll change the way he feels about me.”
That has her attention. “What’s going on?”
And before I realize what’s happening, I’m spilling everything. I tell her everything about the demise of my relationship with Cole and the reason it won’t work with Dean. When I glance up, I see tears in her eyes and realize they match the ones sliding down my cheeks.
“You’ve been sitting on this for the last, what, six years? Why wouldn’t you tell us about this?”
“I wasn’t ready. It’s too painful. I had to give up a dream, and I mourned the loss for a while. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever really been ready to talk about it.”
After our pizza arrives, we eat in silence for a few moments before she speaks again. “You know, I think you’re making a mistake with Dean. I think you should tell him and let him be the judge of the state of your future. If he can’t handle it, then fine. Walk away. But what if that doesn’t matter to him?”
“It matters to everyone.”
“You don’t know that. You assume, and you know what Grandpa says about assume, right?” I give her the look as I wait for the line I already know is coming next. “You make an ass out of you and me.”
“Why are you being such a pain in the ass?”
“Because I’m your little sister and that’s my job. And you only think I’m a pain because you know I’m right, and you can’t stand that because you’re always right.”
“I am always right. I must be rubbing off on you.”
We laugh as we finish up our pizza, chatting about her work and making small talk. When I glance up at the clock, I realize it’s already almost nine. It always surprises me how fast time can fly when I’m with my sisters.
“I should go.”
“Heading home?”
“Yeah. I was invited to The Shed tonight to see Levi play, but I’m not feeling it,” she says with a shrug.
“Abs, don’t give up on him. I really think that you guys have something special, more than just a friendship. Don’t be afraid to explore that side, okay?”
She shrugs casually without committing. “Don’t be afraid to tell Dean your secret. Let him decide if it’s too much for him or not, okay?”
I can’t help but grin back at her. “You’re still a pain in my ass.”
“Ditto, big sister. D-i-t-t-o.”
“I love you,” I tell her as I pull her into a big hug.
“I love you too. I’ll talk to you soon,” she says before slipping out the back door. I watch as she walks to her car and heads out of the lot.
Knowing that my night is complete, that no work will be finished now, I flip off the lights and grab my stuff. I don’t even take home the folder with tomorrow’s order forms; I’m pretty sure I won’t get to them later either. Right now, all I want is my couch, comfy jammies, and a bottle of something hard.
Making sure all of the doors are secure, I head to my own car and climb inside. My phone vibrates in my purse, but I leave it there until I get home. Needing to concentrate on driving and not on the pending conversation I’m going to have with Dean, I forgo the phone and head home.
It’s been a long, exhausting, and emotional day, and the booze is calling.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dean
She’s still not picking up.
I know she said she had tons of work to catch up on during the last few weeks, but I can tell something is different. She’s pulling away from me, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. Hell, I can’t even get her to answer her phone. The only thing I can think of now is to just show up at her door and wait until she speaks to me. Payton’s stubborn and feisty on top of being gorgeous and loyal.
I can imagine that going over well.
But that doesn’t stop me from driving to her flower shop on Saturday morning. Even after she texted me last night after nine and said she just got home and was exhausted from her day and yada, yada, yada. I can feel the coolness that has settled between us.
And I don’t like it.
Not one fucking bit.
Bri is dying to see the flower shop and has not stopped asking questions since we got in the car to come here. Now, pulling up in front of the building and getting out of the car, I’m not so sure this is the best approach. If she hasn’t wanted to spend time with me before, showing up at her place of business, with my daughter in tow as some sort of buffer, probably isn’t going to go over well either.
Oh, well. There’s no turning back now. Bri is already at the door, pulling with all of her might, so I jump into action and help her get it the rest of the way open. As soon as I step over the threshold, I’m instantly assaulted with the scent of fresh flowers. Roses, daisies, hydrangeas, and more, every color under the sun. Not to mention the potted plants and other gifty items like vases and figurines.
I feel bad for not taking it all in the last time I was here, but the last time I kinda only had one thing in mind, and that was relieving the ache in my pants. We didn’t even make it past her workspace. The lights were off so no one could see, but I took her three ways to Sunday on top of that steel table. My balls start to ache as the memory starts to play out. Well, until I hear my daughter yell out that one word that makes my heart beat faster in my chest. “Payton!”
She comes out of the back room, a hesitant smile on her face. But as soon as her eyes land on Bri, the smile is wide and genuine. My daughter launches herself across the shop and straight into her arms. Again with the damn heartbeat thing.
“What are you guys doing here?” she asks Brielle and then glances over at me. Her smile is still real, but I see worry. Something has happened to my spirited girl, and I need to know what. I can’t fix it until I get to the bottom of this.
“We came to see you! I wa
nt to see some flowers,” Bri instructs.
“Rachel, can you watch everything? I’m going to give this little lady a tour of the shop,” Payton says to the younger woman at the counter.
“Come over here,” she says to Bri, putting her down and taking her hand. “This is one of my favorite parts of the shop.”
I follow as she leads Bri towards the glass case filled with bright arrangements. “When I first opened the shop, I would come over here and just stare at all the vibrant colors and smell all the gloriously fragrant scents. If the day was particularly stressful, which a lot of them were in the beginning, I would come over here and play with some of the blooms. It always seemed to ground me.”
“Pretty.”
“Yes, they are.”
“Which one is your favorite?” I ask.
She offers me a warm smile. “That would be like asking me to choose a favorite child.”
“I like this one,” Bri says, pointing to an arrangement in the front.
“Oh, me too! If I was forced to pick a flower, I would probably pick those. They’re called forget-me-nots, and most of the time we see them in this pretty blue. But I grow them at my house during the summer and my favorite is these pink ones. I had some brought in earlier this week for a special order. These are the majority of what’s left.”
“I want to see more!”
Payton crouches down in front of Bri. “I have a better idea. How about we make you your own bouquet that you can take home with you?”
“Really?”
“Absolutely. You can help me pick the flowers and everything.”
“Yay! Daddy, I’m gonna work at the flower shop with Payton!”
“Sounds like fun, princess.”
Again, I follow behind as Payton leads Bri to the back room. Together, they pick out a vase, which isn’t surprising at all to be a deep purple color. Then, they head into a walk-in cooler where my daughter picks out bloom after bloom of bright purple, pink, and yellow.
Payton explains the process as she starts snipping the ends off the flowers, compiling them into groups by length. Bri is hanging on every word she says, nodding her head every so often in understanding. Then, they get to work.
I stand off to the side so that I don’t interrupt them. Payton explains how she’s using the blooms with longer stems for the center and works her way out with the shorter ones. The colors are a mix, but seem to make my daughter happy as she helps arrange them in the vase. When the flowers are in position, they walk over to the sink and add water. Then to finish off the project, Bri chooses a polka dot white and pink ribbon for the bow. Even though Payton makes it, she takes her time, explaining each twist and loop of the ribbon. When it’s completed, Bri places it around the lip of the vase and Payton ties it into place.
It’s complete.
And so is my heart.
When Payton glances up at me, there’s a moment of pure joy and excitement radiating from her. Unfortunately, it’s quickly squashed when something else takes over her features. Not wanting to lose what we’ve been slowly building, I head over to where she’s standing.
“That was amazing. Bri will never forget it.”
“It was fun. I enjoyed getting to show her this side of my passion.”
“You love your work. It’s evident in how you spoke about it and how detailed you were in your teaching.”
“I do love it.” She nods and gazes fondly back over to her little helper.
“Thank you,” I say without hesitation.
She looks back over at me, confusion written on her face. “For what?”
“For spending time with her, for teaching her something I couldn’t, for loving her.” I take a stab in the dark that my comment will hit its mark. I know she loves my daughter, I see it in the way she interacts with her. I just don’t know if she’s ready to acknowledge it. She’s so gun shy when it comes to relationships, and even though one with my daughter is on a different scale, it’s still a big step for her.
“That’s easy to do,” she whispers. I don’t miss the tears filling her eyes. “She’s a very special, amazing, lovable little girl.”
“She is. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
“She’s you.” Her words hit me like a sledgehammer, right in the chest. My love for her is boiling over and I want to say it. Hell, I want to scream it! I want to tell her that she’s it for me, the one.
“Daddy, can Payton come have dinner with us?” she asks, moving her floral arrangement from the table to the front counter.
“I’m not sure, honey. Why are you taking your flowers up front?” I ask, following her through the doorway.
“So dat the other people can see how pretty they are. Payton says flowers make you smile and I want to make everyone smile.”
Pride spreads through my chest. It’s warm and familiar and something I’ve experienced several times over the course of this life journey as a father. “Those will make everyone smile, I’m sure.”
“Do you wanna have mac and cheese with us, Payton? Daddy is gonna take me to dinner and I get mac and cheese.”
“No, you don’t get mac and cheese. If we’re going to a restaurant, you have to pick something you don’t eat almost daily at home.”
“Daddy,” she groans, clearly unhappy with my rebuttal. “Payton, can you come to dinner wiff us?”
“Oh, I’m not sure, sweetie.” I can tell she’s trying to figure out how to get out of it.
“Puh-lease? I promise to eat all my dinner. And I’ll get something besides mac and cheese.”
She smiles down at the little brunette giving her the big doe eyes in front of her. Her resolve is clearly cracking and crumbling around her. “I might be able to have dinner tonight,” she concedes with a small smile.
“Don’t feel obligated,” I say, feeling a little annoyed. “If you have other plans, that’s fine.”
“No,” she defends quickly. “I don’t have other plans.”
I give her a few moments to change her mind or back out, but it doesn’t come. I give her a quick nod. “We’ll pick you up at six, if that works for you.”
“That’s fine. I’ll be ready.”
“Yay!” Payton exclaims.
“We should get out of your hair,” I finally say, nodding towards the customer that Rachel is helping over by the fresh flower bouquet case. “How much do I owe you?”
“For what?” she asks.
“The flowers. I didn’t bring her here for you to give her flowers. I can pay for them.”
“I could never take your money. Those are for Bri.”
We stare at each other for a few tense seconds.
“Thank you,” I finally concede.
“I’m glad you stopped in.” Her words are quiet, almost a confession that she’s trying to wrap her head around.
“We’ll see you tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Come on, Bri. It’s time to let Payton work. The shop is gonna be closing soon.”
My daughter groans, but doesn’t complain too much. Instead, she goes over and gives Payton a big hug. “Can I come work with you someday? I can help make the pretty flowers.”
“I would love that,” Payton replies with a smile.
As I steer my child towards the door, Payton calls out behind us. “Here. Don’t forget your flowers,” she says, passing the pink and purple bouquet to my daughter.”
“I can take them home?”
“Of course you can. I want you to put them on your table so you can see them every day.”
“And smile every day,” she adds with a brightly toothy grin.
“Yes. Every day because you have a gorgeous smile that lights up the room,” Payton says with a wink and a smile.
Bri giggles. “My smile isn’t a light bulb, Payton.”
They hug once more before I finally drag my daughter out of the shop. Payton’s going to dinner with us tonight, which makes me happy, even if Bri had to coax her into it. It’s a step, even if the smallest
of baby steps. At least we’re not heading backwards, right?
For now, I’ll just hang out and wait until tonight. There are some things we need to talk about and I’m hoping we’ll get those cleared up this evening. I’m a patient man, but when it comes to Payton, I find myself running out of tolerance. I want her. Plain and simple.
Now it’s time to make it reality.
* * *
She’s quiet as we walk into the café, but only because she’s unable to get a word in edge-wise. Bri has been talking non-stop since we picked Payton up ten minutes ago. Glancing around, I spy an open booth in the corner, but before I can lead the girls towards the space, our attention is pulled in the opposite direction.
“Yoohoo! Payton! Come sit with us,” I hear over my shoulder. When I turn, I spy her grandma and grandpa, as well as one of the twins.
“We don’t have to sit with them, but let’s at least say hi.”
“We can sit with them,” I respond as we walk in their direction, my hand finding a comfortable spot on her lower back.
“We don’t have to,” she whispers as we approach the table.
Before I can reply, Brielle slides into the chair beside Emma, who is helping her take her jacket off. “I guess the decision is already made,” Payton whispers again.
“I don’t mind,” I say, grabbing an extra chair from a nearby table so that we have enough seats. It’s a tight fit, but all six of us make it work.
“Dean, it’s so good to see you again. I’ll give you a hug when we’re done eating,” Emma says as she magically pulls crayons out of her purse.
“You just want to grab his ass,” the twin says, letting me know it’s Lexi and not Abby.
“That’s just a bonus. I like hugging,” Emma says brightly.
“Oh, she’s a very good…hugger,” Orval adds with a mischievous grin on his face. I’m pretty sure we’re no longer talking about the same thing.
“Yes, I do enjoy our…hugs,” Emma coos with a wink.
“Anyway,” Payton interrupts, doing her best to steer the conversation away from the inappropriate direction it was clearly heading.