The Art of Keeping Secrets

Home > Other > The Art of Keeping Secrets > Page 34
The Art of Keeping Secrets Page 34

by Rachael Johns


  ‘This thing with Will?’ he asked, keeping his voice low, presumably so as not to be overheard. ‘Is it serious?’

  She nodded. ‘The doctors were expecting to bring him out of his coma by now, but the pressure on his brain hasn’t abated as much as they’d hoped.’

  ‘Jesus.’

  ‘But that’s not the only problem we have. Well, the other thing is my problem really, but because we share kids, it’s gonna be your problem too.’

  His brows knitted together, highlighting the wrinkles on his forehead. Maybe he was the one that needed Botox. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘I have a brain tumour.’ Before he had time to digest this news, she added, ‘I’m going under the knife to have it out this Monday and I’ll need you to take care of the kids while I’m in hospital.’

  Max blinked, then shook his head slightly as if he couldn’t believe what he’d heard. ‘Shite, Em! Are you serious?’

  No, course not, she almost snapped, I find joking about brain tumours hilarious. But his reaction wasn’t far from what hers had been when the US doctors had landed the blow.

  ‘I’m afraid so.’

  At the sound of Max’s raised voice, Chanel poked her head out the window, obviously trying to listen in. Max didn’t appear to notice. ‘Shit,’ he said again and then stepped closer and pulled her into his arms.

  Emma hadn’t been this close to her ex-husband since long before their divorce and his gesture caught her off guard. For a few seconds she stood like a wooden plank in his arms but then the thought of how confused the kids might be if they stumbled upon this sight jolted her into action and she extricated herself.

  He rubbed his hand over his face and looked at her as if for the first time. ‘I don’t know what to say. Is it …’

  When it was clear he couldn’t say what he wanted to, she rescued him. ‘It’s benign. A biopsy earlier in the week confirmed this but due to its location and size and the fact I’m getting serious headaches and have already had one seizure, my surgeon believes the best course of action is to operate.’

  ‘Shit.’ Emma wondered if he’d left the rest of his vocabulary behind in Hawaii. ‘Seizures? Why didn’t you tell me you were having health issues?’

  She raised an eyebrow—they hadn’t exactly been the chummiest of ex-partners—and ignored his question. ‘I know it won’t be ideal, and Chanel won’t be stoked about it, but I think the kids should stay with you for a while.’

  It broke her heart to say this but she didn’t see any other alternative.

  ‘Don’t worry about Chanel,’ Max said with a dismissive wave of his hand. Normally such a gesture would give Emma a zap of victorious joy, but it didn’t bring her any satisfaction right now.

  ‘I’ll be in hospital most of next week and then, depending on how the surgery goes, I might be able to come home. But this is brain surgery and apparently it could take months for me to return to normal.’

  In ordinary circumstances Max might make a joke about her never being normal, but the fact that he didn’t showed he understood the seriousness of this situation. He appeared lost for words and Emma felt the need to fill the silence.

  ‘They gave me a never-ending list of things that might occur post surgery and I don’t want the kids to suffer because of it.’

  ‘We’ll do whatever it takes,’ Max promised, offering a warm smile that gave her a glimpse of the man she’d once fallen in love with. ‘What are you going to tell them?’

  She rubbed her lips together. ‘Well …’

  ‘Caleb’s really worried about Will right now. Maybe we should make up some routine kind of surgery you’re going in for? Or we can say the house has a termite infestation and needs to be fumigated so they have to stay with me for a bit?’

  Until Max suggested this, Emma had been undecided on how or what to tell the kids, but Patrick’s words of a few nights ago came back. I might not have children, but if my mum had something serious like a tumour, I’d want to know about it.

  For all his faults, Max had the best interests of the kids at heart when he suggested this, but the fact was there was no perfect option in this shitty situation. Emma didn’t like the idea of lying to her children. And how betrayed would Caleb and the girls feel if something did go wrong with her surgery? If they didn’t know the truth, they couldn’t be prepared for the worst. Emma didn’t want to be pessimistic, but neither did she want them in the dark about something this big. They weren’t babies anymore, however much she sometimes wished they were.

  ‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘Haven’t we always been open with the kids? I think they deserve to know the truth. They’ll be upset if they learn the truth from someone else. There are risks with surgery but they’ll likely only register the bit about me not having cancer. Let’s focus on that and tell them they need to stay with you while I recover.’

  ‘Okay.’ Max reached out and put his hand against her arm. ‘I’ll support you in whatever decision you make.’

  ‘Thank you.’ It was weird having a conversation with her ex in which they were talking like a unit, let alone one where he was almost acting human. She wondered what Chanel would think of all this.

  To hell with Chanel. She was the one who’d slept with, then married, a man with baggage. All that mattered was getting well and doing what was best for her family.

  As if the other woman could read Emma’s thoughts, a beep sounded from the SUV and Chanel called through the window. ‘Hate to interrupt the chitchat, but … jet lag.’

  Her singsong voice grated on Emma’s nerves and even Max let out a grunt of annoyance. Without glancing at his wife, he said, ‘How about I take her home and then come back this evening. I’ll bring takeaway so you don’t have to cook and we’ll sit the kids down and tell them what’s what.’

  ‘Okay.’ She nodded. ‘Yes. That sounds like a plan, if you’re sure you can spare the time.’ However much he pissed her off, she couldn’t deny that she liked the idea of having another adult there for support when she told the children.

  ‘I’ll see you then. And please, look after yourself.’ With those words, Max leant forward, kissed her on the cheek, then turned and walked back to his waiting wife. Emma watched him go, unsure of who was more stunned by this gesture—herself or Chanel, whose mouth was now hanging wide open.

  You could almost see the steam coming out of her ears.

  *

  ‘Is it Will?’ Caleb asked when Emma and Max sat their three children down in the living room after dinner from the local Chinese restaurant. ‘Has something happened?’

  Emma shook her head.

  ‘Well, you can’t be telling us you’re getting a divorce,’ said Laura. ‘We’ve been there, done that conversation already.’

  ‘I know!’ Louise exclaimed. ‘You’re getting back together.’

  Emma looked at Max in horror.

  ‘Don’t be stupid,’ Caleb snapped, then he looked to Emma, his expression far too serious for a seventeen-year-old boy. ‘It’s those headaches you’ve been having, isn’t it?’

  Before Emma could say anything, the girls spoke together. ‘Are you sick, Mum?’

  ‘Will you just let your mother get a word in,’ Max said.

  Emma took a deep breath and then reached out and took hold of the girls’ hands—they were sitting either side of her on the couch and as much as they acted all grown up, they suddenly seemed very young. Caleb and Max sat opposite in the matching armchairs.

  ‘Yes, sweethearts, I am sick.’ She continued quickly before they could get carried away. ‘But you don’t need to worry, because everything is going to be okay. When Neve, Flick and I were in New York, I had a seizure and had to go to hospital. They discovered that the reason I’ve been having so many headaches is because I have a brain tumour.’

  Louise sobbed. ‘Oh my God!’

  ‘You’re not going to die, are you?’ Laura asked, her voice quivering.

  Caleb remained silent but she could see the anxiousness in hi
s eyes.

  ‘I certainly hope not,’ Emma said. ‘The doctors tell me the tumour is benign.’

  ‘What’s that mean?’ asked the girls, once again speaking in unison.

  ‘That she hasn’t got cancer,’ Caleb told them.

  Emma nodded. Did the girls’ posh private school teach them anything?

  ‘That’s good news then, right?’ Louise spoke through her tears.

  ‘Very good,’ Emma said. ‘But I’m going to be honest with you. Surgery on the brain is risky and although I have a good chance of a full recovery, it is not going to happen overnight. I’ll be in hospital at least a week and recovery is going to take some time. I won’t be up to looking after you three for a while afterwards, so you’re all going to go stay with Dad and Chanel for a bit.’

  It broke Emma’s heart to say this, but if she’d learnt anything over the last week or so, it was that when it came to her health she needed to be sensible. It was going to take everything she had to get better and Max was their father; he would look after them.

  ‘No,’ Laura said adamantly. ‘We’re not leaving you on your own when you need us the most.’

  ‘Definitely not,’ agreed her twin. ‘We can look after you.’

  ‘They’re right,’ Caleb said. ‘I know we’ve been pretty crap at helping around the house, but we can do our bit. We’re not babies and we want to.’

  Emma opened her mouth to speak—to tell them they’d been normal teenagers and shouldn’t beat themselves up—but found herself too choked with emotion.

  Max spoke instead. ‘We know this is scary and Mum appreciates that you want to look after her, but the best way to do that is to give her some time to recover without having to worry about anything else. We’ll come visit all the time and check she’s following doctor’s orders, but as hard as it may be to understand, staying with me while your mum is convalescing is really for the best.’

  ‘You and Chanel,’ Louise said, her distaste evident in the way she said her father’s wife’s name.

  ‘Oh, Mummy.’ Laura shuffled over on the couch and threw her arms around Emma. ‘I love you so much.’

  Emma couldn’t recall the last time any of her children had called her ‘mummy’. As a tear slid down her own cheek, she snuggled into Laura and drew Louise into her arms as well. Caleb got off the couch and came to sit beside them, and she reached out and took his hand. This was the closest she’d felt to her babies in a long time.

  Maybe she shouldn’t have been so worried about the possibility that they might choose to leave her and go live with Max and Chanel instead.

  Max left not long after that, making Emma promise that she would call him at any hour if she needed anything at all, but the kids refused to leave her side. In the end, Laura and Louise climbed into bed beside her and Caleb sat in the chair in her bedroom until the twins had finally fallen asleep. They talked for hours about Hawaii, New York and school. He asked for more information about the tumour, his sensible questions showing his interest in medicine and proving he’d be good in the field. His bedside manner would be a lot better than some of the medical staff she’d dealt with over the last week.

  Emma reckoned he’d have spent the whole night sitting vigil by her bed if she didn’t convince him that she was okay and would rest better knowing he was comfortable in his bed.

  He stood reluctantly and started towards the door, stopping and turning back just before he got to it. ‘I know life hasn’t been easy for you over the last few years, Mum, and I’m sorry if I’ve contributed to that in any way. But I want you to know, you’re the best, I appreciate everything you do for us and I love you.’

  ‘Oh, darling.’ Emma wished she could leap off the bed and go wrap her arms around him, but being squished between the girls made it impossible. ‘I love you too, and you have done nothing at all to contribute to this. Don’t ever think that. It’s just one of life’s sucky cards, but we’re going to get through this. I’m going to beat this thing and I’m sure Will is going to be better again soon as well. Try and get some rest.’

  ‘I will. Goodnight.’

  ‘Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you.’

  Emma was almost asleep when her phone beeped on the bedside table indicating a message. Feeling like a player in a game of Twister, she extracted her arm from underneath Laura and stretched across to retrieve the phone.

  She read Patrick’s message: I hope things went okay telling the kids tonight. I’m always here if you want to talk.

  And she smiled.

  Chapter Forty-six

  Genevieve

  Saturday brought the first bit of good news in what felt like forever. Dr Mortein stood beside Will’s bed and smiled down at Neve and James.

  ‘The swelling on William’s brain has gone down enough that we believe it is safe to bring him out of the coma. It’s taken us a little longer to get here than we’d hoped, but the prognosis is good. Will should make a full recovery.’

  As goosebumps erupted across her skin, Neve gasped and James, sitting beside her on a plastic chair, gripped her hand. It felt like the most natural thing in the world and she squeezed back, thankful to have had his support these past few days.

  ‘That’s fantastic,’ James said, an optimistic smile sprouting on his face and smoothing out the worry lines. Neve couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat but she nodded in agreement.

  Since his arrival, the two of them had barely spent half an hour apart during daylight hours. He’d insisted she take some time out to go home and freshen up at least once a day and they’d taken turns retreating to her house for a few hours’ nap in every twenty-four. The hotel he’d booked seemed like a waste of money when he was spending most of his time at the hospital, so he’d cancelled that and dumped his stuff at Neve’s place. Offering him basic hospitality felt like the least she could do, although nothing would ever make up for her transgressions.

  They’d barely spoken about those transgressions—James had stayed true to his declaration that he wanted to focus on the future and Will getting well again. During those hours where they’d kept joint vigil in ICU, there’d been periods of comfortable quiet and other times where James and Neve had talked almost as if the last eighteen years had never happened. It was all too easy to remember why she’d fallen under his charms the first time, yet the way he held Will’s hand and spoke to him in a gentle fatherly tone warmed the cockles of her heart in a manner far more lethal than physical attraction. She knew she was falling in love with him all over again and that her heart was destined to be broken.

  But as long as Will made a full recovery, she could deal with the pain of a permanently broken heart.

  Dr Mortein explained the procedure for reviving Will from the coma and asked them to step into the waiting room while the medical team did what they needed to do. He promised he’d call them back the moment Will was conscious. Reluctantly, Neve and James did as they were told, standing as one and traipsing out into the waiting room to join her parents, who’d set up camp there during daylight hours.

  Only when her mum’s eyes dropped did Neve realise she and James were still holding hands. They’d been introduced but had spent little time chatting or getting to know each other. She didn’t want to let go but nor did she want her mother to go getting any ideas, so she extracted her hand.

  ‘News?’ her father asked, his anxious tone matching his expression.

  ‘Wonderful news.’ She nodded, speaking for the first time since the doctor had delivered it. Her eyes watered with happy relief. ‘They’re bringing Will out of the coma. They’re happy with his progress.’

  ‘Oh, Praise the Lord.’ Neve’s mother—who had never been in any way religious—made the sign of the cross and then pulled Neve in for a hug. ‘Hallelujah.’

  Although they’d been told they’d have time to go for a coffee or grab a bite to eat, no one wanted to venture far, so they all got coffee from the vile machine on the wall and sat down to wait. While James repeated to her parents ex
actly what Dr Mortein had said, Neve leant back in her plastic seat and pulled her mobile phone out of her pocket. She took what felt like the first breath in days and then shot off text messages to Flick and Emma telling them the good news. Jubilant replies came almost immediately and Neve smiled before tucking the phone back into her pocket.

  Both she and Will were extremely blessed in the friends department.

  It had been almost a week since the accident—a week that felt like forever—and in that time Flick, Seb, Toby and Emma had also spent many hours in the ICU waiting room. Stacey, Will’s girlfriend, had been there every day after school and yesterday Emma’s children had come, freshly arrived back from Hawaii. Although they weren’t allowed in to see Will, they’d all wanted to be close to him, and Neve and James had made sure to tell him that his friends were all out there barracking for his recovery.

  And finally he had turned a corner. Neve had never felt so light-headed in her life. After days of feeling as if she were trapped beneath a road-train, she now felt as if she’d been filled with helium and could float right up into the sky.

  After forty-five minutes—yes, they’d all been watching the clock like hawks—the door to ICU opened and Dr Mortein strode out looking pretty damn pleased with himself.

  He grinned from Neve to James and back to Neve again. ‘There’s a young man in there who wants to see his mum.’

  Tears of happiness and relief burst from Neve’s eyes as James grabbed her hand. ‘Come on,’ he said, tugging her as he followed Dr Mortein. She loved that he didn’t appear nervous whatsoever about meeting Will—instead, he couldn’t get there fast enough.

  At the door, James let her hand go to clean his with disinfectant and Neve did the same. Over the past week, this act had become so ingrained that she barely registered doing it anymore. But today it felt like an unwanted delay.

  Their hands clean, they stepped through into ICU and Neve almost tripped over her own feet in her rush to get to Will. In many ways he didn’t look very different—he was still lying on a hospital gurney, all pale and listless—but his eyes were open and the moment they met hers, he let out a childish sob.

 

‹ Prev