by Hunter Blain
“Most of the time. I also fill it with beef jerky so it makes it easy to find if I do lose it, or if I want a tasty snack.”
I pulled out my phone and noted the time before closing it and glancing at the horizon. “Less than an hour to sun up. If I can’t stop him, it will be up to you two to save Depweg.”
“Question,” Joey said with his index finger in the air, “Why don’t we just wait until dawn anyway?”
“Because I won’t be able to help you and Depweg is going to be underground or in a fortified structure that will be completely sun proof. A vampire can still be dangerous during the day. Even if he was, for the sake of argument, only a quarter combat effective— at his age, that will still be enough to kill both of you.”
“Got it,” Joey accepted.
“Plus, that would be a boring story.”
“Huh?” They both asked in unison.
“Never mind. Let’s continue on, shall we?”
We walked to the edge of the water before Joey asked, “What now, Sherlock?”
“Hop on pop,” I said. The twins looked at each other, both confused and a bit disgusted. “Look, dipshits, one hook onto my torso and the other onto my back. Trust me.”
After a few awkward moments, Dawson called out, “Back!” before jumping on.
“God damn it,” Joey said, dragging his feet until he was standing in front of me. I extended my arms and made a stupid Jim Carrey typeface.
“How about a hug?”
Sighing, he walked into my chest and wrapped his arms around my neck.
“Hold on you two. This might be really fun.” As I spoke, I willed blood to snake out of my hands and down next to me. A little step poked out of both blood-stilts and I began walking forward. As I met the water, I willed more length to the stilts and we were raised a few feet above the water line. We continued forward and more length was created downward, pressing into the bottom of the lake while keeping us safe and dry above the water line. I moved forward one step at a time, using my hands to pull the top of the stilts backward, forcing the bottom portion to move forward. My feet acted as fulcrums and within ten minutes of power walking which did require energy to do, we were almost to the other side of the lake. As the lake bottom distance decreased, so too did the silts, keeping us a consistent few feet above the water.
A smell wafted up and pierced my nose. “Oh dude! Did one of you fart?”
“Sorry,” Dawson said with an embarrassed laugh.
“Lilith that’s bad!” I said as I tried to blow air from my mouth and force the atomic cloud away.
“Who’s Lilith?” Joey asked.
Seeing as how we had nothing but time as we made our way across the lake, I explained, “As legend has it, she was Adam’s first wife. She cheated on him with the UPS driver or something and God kicked Lilith out, which left room for him to create Eve. Lilith walked the barren Earth until Samael was cast from Heaven and fell to Hell. She saw where he landed and went to him, and they fell in love. As the ruler of Hell, Samael was bestowed with powers in order to better do his job, which he of course exploited and used as he saw fit. Samael, now Satan, aka Mephistopheles, Baal, Diablo, the Devil, Most Unclean and a shit ton of other colorful and clever names, wanted Lilith by his side for eternity; but she was mortal after being cast out of Eden and would die someday. Using his new, unholy powers, Satan figured out a way to make Lilith live forever by letting her live off the life energy of mortals, which there were now plenty of thanks to her replacement in Eden; Eve. Satan had tricked Eve in order to provide an endless supply of energy for his love to live off. It was then, that Lilith became the mother of all vampires.”
“Sounds like a cool movie,” Joey said.
“Or at least a Netflix series,” I added while turning to the camera and winking.
“Can I ask a question?” Dawson said.
“You just did,” I said.
“Can I ask another question?”
“Do I really need to point out the irony here?” I said, rolling my eyes.
“What’s with sunlight again?”
“Oh, that’s actually a great question, and since it seems we have some time, I’ll do my best to explain further. As younglings you needed to learn about this stuff anyway,” I said, enjoying the chance to pass knowledge on to the next generation of supes. “Sunlight cleanses all magic. Well, most magic, and vampires are almost entirely made up of energy from the mortals we have fed from, which translates into magic. I prefer to think of it as our preternatural essence being better able to assimilate energy directly from the source, like a fish extracting oxygen from water. Magic is just a way of explaining something in a simple and lazy manner, which is just my opinion. No one knows for sure, but I fully believe the universe has a checks and balance system that provides counterweights to the super scale. Think about it, every super and preternatural being has a glaring weakness; something that prevents their species from overwhelming the population of mortals. For vampires, we attain sustenance directly by extracting the life energy from blood, which pumps through the mortal’s veins. Each cell intakes calories from sources like glucose and glycogen, along with B vitamins, in order to create energy. Every cell in the human body produces energy by utilizing the mitochondria as the powerhouses. I pull energy from the cells in the blood that is drained and store it as my own. The older I become, the more energy I am able to store; visa vie, the stronger I become.
You two are the same in process, only the delivery method differs along with a few minor details. You eat the flesh of living things and gain energy directly from their meat. Depweg has confided that he thinks the wer-virus enhances your metabolic rate, allowing you to absorb a substantially greater amount of energy from the same amount of food as when you were simply mortals. I also believe that you are stealing the stored energy in the muscles also from the cells, and maybe the glycogen and glucose is easily digested and transferred to your own body instead of being shit out. I have seen Depweg eat almost an entire platoon worth of meaty thighs, calves, and biceps, and he could pop a squat and plop out a normal log. It was like a freaking magic trick to watch him turn what had to be hundreds of pounds of flesh into one little turd. Your virus – and I’m only guessing here – makes your body utilize almost everything you put into it. It would explain your decelerated aging and immense power in wer form. Heck, even in your man suits you are stronger than any mortal alive.”
“You just like to hear yourself talk, don’t you?” Dawson joked.
“Yes,” I said as I stepped off the stilts and onto the beach, letting the blood flow back into my palms. The twins dropped down gracefully and turned to walk with me. I checked my phone again and saw Depweg had not moved and that he was due north from our position.
“What did you mean about the checks and balances?” Joey asked, keeping the conversation going. I could tell they both enjoyed learning, but Joey was eating it all up eagerly.
“Well let’s see, how do you make a werewolf?”
“We have to bite someone, and if the virus doesn’t kill them due to a mismatch, they become a werewolf,” Joey explained.
“Right, but how hard is it for most werewolves to just take a bite of a mortal and not finish the job?”
“Really freaking hard,” Dawson said. “It’s why we prefer to hunt animals because we can eat all of them without having to worry about killing someone. Humans aren’t keen on other people getting eaten. They start asking questions and doing investigations. I know I can survive getting shot by a gun, depending on the round, but I don’t know how many shots it would take to put me down, permanently.”
“Exactly my point. As a werewolf, once your – well I don’t know what you call it – when you lose control once you are hungry enough…meat-rage I guess? Once you go all meat-rage, it’s hard to stop, which means any mortal you want to turn into a werewolf must be someone really special to combat that preternatural instinct to feed.”
“What about vampires?” Dawson asked.
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“Which part are you referring?” I inquired.
“Why aren’t there more of you? How do you turn someone into a bloodsucker?”
“First, you have to drain them to the very brink of death. I can only guess that the soul has to be weak and start leaving the body to allow the maker to use their blood to corrupt and change the soul. It’s kind of like upgrading a computer; you have to open the case and remove the old components that you wish to upgrade before putting in the brand-new ones. Once you put the case back on, your computer is still technically your computer, but now it’s better, faster, and has a tremendous singing voice.” I waited for a laugh or even a chuckle at my little joke. Nothing. Moving on, philistines. “Ulric drained me to the point where my soul drifted off towards Heaven. I still remember the change and the pain I felt as my soul was forever altered and corrupted.”
“That’s pretty deep, bro,” Joey said.
I was staring off in the distance as we walked in silence, not focusing on anything as the image of the armor-clad angel filled the theater in my mind. “Heaven is not for you, abomination,” his deep voice threatening to burst the speakers and rain sparks onto the seats below.
“So…if you die…?” Dawson asked without tact.
“Right now, I’d surely go to Hell. I have done a lot of bad things in my life that I have no excuse for.” The image of the boy and his mother flashed through my mind, leaving behind a wince of pain in their wake.
“But haven’t you done, like, some really, really good stuff too?” Joey asked.
“I do whatever Father Thomes Philseep tells me to do. He is helping me use my abilities to keep evil under control. He says God is watching and approves of my actions, but I can’t be sure my black soul is being bleached or not. Or at least enough to make a difference in the end.” Something struck me with all this heavy talk about souls and what not. “Heck, tonight might be my end. At least I’d die knowing I wouldn’t have to suffer for long before Hell was destroyed, along with Heaven and Earth though.”
We stopped at the edge of a tree line and I looked at the twins and nodded once while putting my finger over my lips. They nodded back and began to strip. We were downwind from where the phone said Depweg was, though I couldn’t smell anything significant yet. Closing my eyes, I let my predatory self-grab the wheel as I extended my senses in all directions. The night coalesced like a flat picture turned 3D. Smells became distinct instead of one mixed odor. The cacophony of the woods became separate players in an orchestra, the wind singing through the leaves and grass while insects chirped and the water lightly crashed on the shore. My eyes opened to reveal a forest of singular trees, each with their own markings, growth patterns, and story to tell. I could see the heat signature of birds resting in the trees and small mammals skittering on the forest floor.
There was a chuff next to me as I turned to see a black wolf with a white patch on its right eye look at me. I pivoted my head to the other side and saw a white wolf with a black patch on its left eye. They were yin and yang, opposites but the same.
We started through the forest and within a handful of minutes, arrived at a large and modern house. It did not belong here at all. Maybe if it had been a log cabin instead of this mansion in the middle of a national park. It was two stories tall, looked modern with sharp angles, and thick glass everywhere, allowing the denizens a view to the outside from all directions. Wait, how the hell did the owner get clearance to even build here?
“Oh shit,” I said out loud. Both wolves looked at me in question. “This is a supernatural safe house. There must be a ward on it or something to prevent mortals from finding it by accident. That means he won’t be alone, Lilith damn it!” I cursed in frustration. Then I saw the black limo on barley sticking out from the other side of the house.
“There must be a road on the other side. Stay downwind and stay vigilant. We don’t know how many are in there,” I warned.
Joey and Dawson split up and walked quietly through the woods, stalking the house. I could see their noses flair, searching for smells they could latch onto.
It’s a good thing I practiced super stealth whenever I visited Depweg at his old house— which, by the way, I never lost at.
As if made of shadows, I drifted through the night and to the first-floor window of the out of place fortress. Sticking to the darkness, I peered inside only to be blasted with flood light from a motion sensor on the underside of the roof. I threw myself to the ground and shuffled to a back corner right as a backlit figure went to the window to see what triggered the light. Panicking, I started chittering like a freaking raccoon while flattening myself to the wall just below the window. I couldn’t see the figure, but I was aware of its silhouette in the window. After a few moments of listening to me make an ass of myself, the figure turned and I could see the shadow shrink in the window.
“Oh, Lilith that was close,” I said as I looked up to see a black wolf laying on the ground while covering its muzzle with its forepaws. “What?” I whispered loudly. “Do you smell something?” Worry grew in my chest.
Then I noticed his body was shaking and little whimpering sounds escaped through its paws.
“Are…are you fucking laughing at me?” I demanded incredulously while still whispering.
That’s when he lost it and rolled over onto his back, kicking his legs into the air with mirth. Tiny howls, barely being restrained, escaped and mixed with the lullaby that the wind was singing.
“Bad! Bad Joey!” I whispered while forcefully wagging my index finger at him. “Focus!”
With that, Joey rolled back over onto all fours and continued to do his job. I mean, what was I even paying him for? I wasn’t actually paying him, but you get what I mean.
Looking up at the motion detector, I willed a blood-rope and then had it inch its way up the window and then onto the underside of the roof like a crimson caterpillar. As it approached the twin bulbs, the rope split like tendrils and latched onto the front of each bulb. I willed each to turn counter-clockwise until the lights popped free. I lost my grip on one and it fell to the earth. Without thinking, I shot my other hand out and manifested a catcher’s mitt the size of a dog bed. The bulb missed and smashed, loudly, on a decorative rock below. My eyes went wide as I quickly sucked my blood back in, preparing to move. The other bulb hit the same fucking rock and shattered as well. I might as well have been wearing a flashing orange light on my head while singing MMM Bop through a megaphone— there was no way in hell those hired guns inside didn’t know we were there now.
“Ok, ok, ok, ok,” I said calmly. Just kidding, I was shitting my pants. My mind was racing, and then an idea solidified in an instant. A plan, if you will.
Getting up, I scooped up the stupid decorative rock and jogged between the tree line and the house. I turned and howled into the night like a crazed lunatic, aimed at the closest window, and threw the rock with supreme power behind it. It completely missed the window and instead went through the roof and into the attic.
“Hope no one saw that,” I said to myself as I prepared for the onslaught that was sure to come.
Ask and ye shall receive. A small flood of different supes poured out of the hideout. The foremost was a dark-skinned face with a glinting short sword in his hand. It was bejeweled and looked impossibly sharp, which I knew it had to be. We locked eyes and the Fae rushed towards me. His skin was the color of a midnight sky under a pale moon. It was black and blue and seemed to change like a chameleon as he approached. I willed my own sword into my hand and took a defensive stance.
Coming in hot behind the Fae were two trolls without their glamours on. They were long and lanky with tusks that shot out of their bottom jaws. They had a mow-hawk of orange and red hair and a piercing through their nose that reminded me of a bull. Each carried a spear that was ready to be hefted towards me.
Standing several feet taller and wider behind the trolls was an ogre, also without his disguise. He had brass knuckles that were more accurately des
cribed as iron knuckles. Shit, if he landed even one hit with those, wherever I was hit would probably explode like a water balloon.
But, first things first; I pulled my sword back as I stepped forward with my left leg, leaving my right behind me with my sword ready to go. As the Fae started to lunge, I willed a blood-dagger attached to a rope from my left hand and threw it preternaturally fast towards the face of the Fae. He dodged at the last moment, being incredibly fast as well; but the dagger found a different home in one of the trolls behind him. It pierced the right peck and lodged deep as I began siphoning blood. Now that I knew I could feed off supernatural beings, I was curious to taste from each like a Chinese buffet— hopefully without the accompanying horror show of a bowel movement.
As the Fae entered melee range, I willed jagged fish hook down the rope and whipped it to the right, catching him in his side and latching on. He inhaled to scream from the pain as the hooks burrowed their way into his chest cavity and began draining his life force. While he froze in both fear and pain, I stepped forward and stabbed the sword into his blood-soaked liver. The troll did not taste good to me — kind of like rubbing alcohol— but the Fae was like a fine wine that cost as much as a car per bottle. I dropped the troll, simultaneously because he was dead now and because he tasted like shit, leaving only the Fae to feed on. Mmmmm it was sooooo good.
Two brown werewolves burst out of the doorway and onto the scene. They were both covered in scars from numerous battles— probably for the amusement of asshole supes. For their scares to be evident like that meant one of two things; either they used silver or iron in their battles, which prevented the wounds from healing completely, or they fought often enough to not allow time to fully heal. I felt pity for them for the briefest of moments before I saw them lock onto me and charge.
Out of the night burst Joey and Dawson, slamming into the wolves and starting an epic were battle. Joey bit the gnarled ear off one of the wolves while Dawson slashed his front claws down the ribs of the other. The brown wolves howled in fury and pain as they turned their attention on their attackers. Though the twins had the advantage of surprise, the brown werewolves clearly had more than their fair share of experience when it came to battles to the death.