by Vi Voxley
Harbor felt a cold grip around his heart.
That wasn't how things were supposed to go. He wanted to say something, do something. There just didn't seem to be words that would have made everything that had happened okay.
Riley's notes still danced in front of his eyes and the sad gaze on his fated's beautiful face told him that she didn't see much hope either.
"You shouldn't leave," Cole said instead, firmly as ever. "No matter what becomes of us, Magorra is still somewhere out there. Until we've caught him and made sure he's not a threat to you anymore, you should stay here."
That's one way of putting it. I can't see how we should set up the trap for Magorra now.
Out loud, Harbor said nothing. It was clearly not the time.
After a long moment, Riley nodded.
"Alright," she said.
When she didn't move, Harbor expected some ray of hope. His body ached to run over to her and wrap his arms tightly around Riley. If he kept her there, if he pressed her tightly against his chest, the commander could almost believe it would be all okay again.
"I just don't think there is any hope for us," Riley said then and Harbor thought he could feel his heart shattering. "As you said, Cole, no matter what happens. No matter what, this here, between us – it doesn't go away just because we wish it so. We barely know one another."
"The bond is between us," Cole told her at once, his green eyes filled with unimaginable pain.
Riley nodded slowly.
"I believe it is," she said then sadly. "Rowan never got those parts before he published the rest without asking me. Everything I said today was true. I do love you. I just don't think it's enough anymore. Not even the Gargon bonds are invincible."
29
Riley
She spent the night in a cold, empty room in the farthest corner of the villa.
It hurt Riley to be away from Mya. The one thing she trusted her fateds with was that they would keep their daughter safe, though. Until morning, Mya could sleep in peace and not know that her beautiful family had been wrecked to pieces.
In truth, the room was neither cold nor empty. It was lavishly furnished and quite warm in the hot Octavan summer night. All the darkness came from Riley's heart as she laid between cool sheets, aching for the warmth of the commanders by her side.
A lonely, hurt part of her wanted her to call for them. The desire to have them walk through the door and lay down next to her was so strong Riley had to grip the sheets not to get up and run back to them.
She didn't even know what kept her grounded there. It wasn't foolish womanly pride, nor simple stubborn refusal. There was something much deeper and a thousand times more painful.
I don't know if they would come if I called.
The pain they'd caused each other that day was simply mindboggling. The day had started so well. Riley still had the necklace and she was playing with it absently when she wasn't paying attention to what she was doing.
She didn't have the heart to take it off, not when it reminded her of better times, of hope for a bright future.
The worst thing was, she missed the commanders so badly it hurt. Knowing it was her own fault didn't help in the slightest. The looks in their eyes when she had walked in on them reading Rowan's cursed teaser for the book haunted her. The betrayal on her part was just as bad as theirs was.
And yet, Riley would have given anything to be in their arms right then. For the door to open and two figures in the dark to walk to her bed. To cradle her in their strong arms and hold her there until all the pain in the world disappeared.
Riley hadn't cried for years. Not because she was homesick when she traveled the length of the galaxy, not because she was in pain or lonely. It simply didn't come naturally to her. A few angry tears here and then but nothing like outright crying.
Now her hands clutched the sheet as she buried her face in the pillow and opened her mouth in a soundless scream. The pain tearing at her heart was too great to face alone. She needed Harbor and Cole, ached for them to fix their broken love.
It didn't happen. The door stayed closed and Riley ran out of tears.
She had lost it. She had lost everything at the very moment when she had finally reached the happiness she'd craved.
Riley must have fallen asleep at some point since when the door opened, she sat up, startled. For one mad second she dared to hope that the commanders were there, that they'd forgiven her and that she could somehow find the strength to forgive them.
Then Mya's tiny feet ran across the floor and she climbed onto the bed. Chuckling softly, wiping her tears away, Riley pulled the covers down so she could slip next to her.
"I went to look for you, Mommy," Mya said. "You weren't in your room and my dads weren't there either. I got scared."
"It's okay, it's okay," Riley said softly, petting her daughter's soft hair. "I couldn't sleep very well in my room so I came here. How did you know where to find me?"
"I asked the warriors," Mya said. "They were behind my door and behind this door and everywhere."
Figures. I hope they didn't hear me cry.
If she was perfectly honest, Riley was thankful for the guards for once. After she'd driven her fateds away, the protection they provided was welcome now that she knew Magorra was still out there.
Wrapping Mya safely in the blankets, Riley hoped she didn't have violent nightmares. They were bound to scare Mya. So she tried to stay awake until the first rays of the morning began to shine through the windows.
Blinking, Riley watched the way the light of the two suns played on the floor as she cradled Mya softly. She didn't know if she'd had a second of sleep that night. Perhaps she'd dozed off for hours and didn't notice it. In her misery, it was hard to say.
As the morning bloomed outside, Riley realized she'd survived the night. In the darkness, it had seemed as though the heartbreak would kill her for sure. Now, at the dawn of the new day, Riley felt nothing but the crushing weight of her sadness. The villa that she had loved now seemed like a cage to her.
I need to get out of here, she thought as her eyes finally fluttered shut. I'll lose my mind if I see Harbor and Cole in every shadow, feel their absence like a ghostly reminder of the good days.
Dreams took Riley in and there she found Magorra.
She woke up with a scream.
This time, Riley was alone. The terror was so sudden and so overwhelming that for long, horrible seconds it felt like she couldn't breathe. She sat upright, a hand over her own mouth to stop her from waking up Mya, hyperventilating like when she'd just emerged from the coma.
It had been so incredibly real. Riley knew about lucid dreaming, the type of dreams where a person gained some control over what happened in the dream-scape. What she'd had was the total opposite, a nightmarish version – she had been fully conscious about being asleep, but Magorra controlled everything.
With gloomy determination and a satanic grin on his lips, the alien warlord had approached no matter how far she ran. He'd twisted time and space to come closer and closer to her. Riley had tried to wake up, knowing inexplicably that she couldn't because the monster didn't let her.
It was worse than she'd thought. Harbor and Cole had been right. She hadn't gotten over that day, clearly.
The flight instinct settled in so firmly Riley was left reeling. The entire planet of Octava didn't seem enough to hide her from the raiders. She saw them in her mind's eye, out there, looking for her. Coming closer with every second, just like in her dream.
No, she told herself firmly, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself. No running. I won't let him get the better of me. I won't let that bastard take away everything good in my life.
Leaving Mya to sleep peacefully, Riley slipped out of the bed. She took one last look at her daughter, bending down to kiss her forehead. If she ever wanted to be a good mother to Mya, she needed to deal with her trauma and get rid of the crippling fear she had been too afraid to admit.
I already lo
st your fathers, I'm not losing you too.
She left her daughter sleeping in the golden daylight and went to look for her fateds.
30
Riley
Riley found them on the arena behind the villa, training as they always did.
Her eyes traveled over their flawless physiques, feeling her body react to them as vividly and as immediately as it always did. It gave Riley hope. She didn't have a clue of what was going to happen next but it was clear to her that the bond wasn't broken.
An idea popped into her head, one she hadn't considered before.
All that time, Riley had been a skeptic. She'd set out to prove that even the famed Gargon bonds weren't foolproof, that they weren't the guarantees of eternal bliss like desperate people wanted to believe.
I got that in droves.
Wasn't the opposite true too, then? That even when everything went wrong, the whole world turned upside down, the bonds were still there. That while they weren't impeccable, they were also unbreakable. In their darkest hour, Riley had still felt loved and cared for.
Maybe that was the point. Maybe she'd been a total idiot, looking for miraculous fairytale love instead of searching for something so strong it outlasted all the troubles and horrors of the galaxy.
"Hey," Riley called to the commanders when she got close enough to the arena.
Cole and Harbor dropped their fight at once and rushed to her, the deep concern in their eyes convincing Riley more and more of her newfound truth.
Seeing that they were about to speak – over each other as always – she raised her hand.
"Wait," she said. "I need to say something."
The commanders quieted, respectfully letting her speak her piece first.
"I'm sorry," Riley said, seeing the effect it had on both her fated, their eyes lighting up like beacons of hope. "Rowan betrayed me by publishing what I sent him but I don't think it helps anyone if I keep blaming him for what went wrong yesterday. I had a lot of time to think last night and I want to start taking some responsibility for my own life.
"I'm sorry that I came to your world, thinking I could cut open the most sacred thing in your lives and somehow explain it away. I won't apologize for the things I wrote because that was how I felt, but I think it would have been different if I'd been fair from the start. And I definitely should never have trusted a man who sees people as possible profit margins."
She could have been wrong, yet in that moment Riley could have sworn that Harbor and Cole let out a breath they'd been holding the entire time.
"You have nothing to – " Cole began then.
"Don't say that," Riley stopped him with a smile. "It doesn't help. I need you to accept my apology, not coddle me. I want us to be honest, with each other and ourselves."
"Then we accept it," Harbor said after a long moment, glancing at Cole.
Riley felt like that something had changed in that short period of time, something for the better. Cole turned to her.
"We need to apologize as well, then," the commander said. "For treating you like you had no mind of your own, like you had no right to know about things that concerned you. No excuses about wanting to protect you, but that's a hard habit for a Gargon to shake. We're not good at putting faith in others. We are starting to trust you know, though."
Riley smiled, sighing in relief.
"Then I'm glad," she said truthfully. "I think we can go somewhere from here..."
She stopped when Cole's intense gaze didn't leave her.
"There's one more thing," Cole said. "That you need to know. We weren't sure if we should tell you this. Now, I don't think I could ever hide anything from you ever again."
"Okay," Riley said with a bit of dread. "Hit me. It's better if we get this all out now."
"General Ashorn, the ruler of Octava, gave us an order," Harbor explained. "He tasked us with finding Magorra and killing him, ending these attacks once and for all. It's a good chance, since the raiders haven't come this close to Octava for a while."
"Good," Riley said, hesitating. "That's all good, isn't it? What does that have to do with me? I'll be glad once this is over."
"That was the first part of his order," Cole said, his expression saying exactly how little he thought of the second part. "He ordered Harbor and I to take you with us. To bait Magorra, to draw him out."
That was a surprise and not a good one. For Riley, though, it was even more shocking how little she was afraid. Like making peace with the commanders had instilled some peace inside her that didn't let her fear anymore, knowing they wouldn't let anything happen to her.
"And will you?" she asked quietly.
Harbor and Cole bristled, looking like they were willing to tear apart the world itself if it dared to displease her.
"Not if you say no," Harbor said at last. "One word from you and we'll fight anyone who tries to force you to go near that monster again."
"And if I agree?" Riley asked.
"Then we will make sure this nightmare will be over and you can be at peace," Cole stated with such a voice that it forced Riley to believe him.
She considered that. Her mind was fighting itself, all the arguments trying to be heard. A large part of her was terrified, of course. Feeling safe with Harbor and Cole was one thing. Possibly facing Magorra again was another.
There was a new argument, though. Like a guiding light, the prospect of being free from Magorra's hold on her beckoned Riley, stronger than her fear. She knew the commanders would keep her safe. And Magorra had tried to search for her.
If they really could draw him out... If it could all be over in a few days and they could have a chance to work on their bond... Wasn't that worth risking just a little?
Riley raised her eyes to her fateds, steeling her confidence.
"Let's do it," she said.
31
Cole
It was the worst plan ever.
Cole couldn't believe they'd allowed Ashorn to order them to go through with that madness.
All the stories they told about the Eridon warlord... Cole knew which ones of those were true and which were softened. The thought of Riley in the hands of that monster made every hair on his skin stand up, turned his blood into a raging river of fire. He swore he'd kill Magorra before he ever set eyes upon Riley again.
They had left Mya on Octava, naturally. She'd been taken into hiding by their most skilled warriors, men of utter and unbreakable honor and strength. If another Eridon raid happened to break through their orbital defenses, they would have to stumble upon her on a planet ten times the size of their dark home world.
No, Cole was certain their daughter was safe. It didn't make him worry any less for it, of course. He and Harbor had reluctantly spent a bit less time with Mya following Riley's return, to give the mother time to get to know her child.
It meant the longing in his heart had grown unbearable.
Harbor and he were on a mission now, the one Lord General Ashorn had tasked them with.
The trap had been set. Through channels that they were sure Magorra was observing, they'd let it slip that Riley was aboard Harbor's flagship. They'd also made her coming aboard very public and obvious.
Riley herself had suggested that they masquerade it as an attempt to send her back to Terra for the time being, until the raids were dealt with.
They were waiting in one of the Saber's war rooms. The walls were lined with trophies of the many battles the ship had fought. There were weapons and mementos of wars Harbor had fought, bringing glory to their people.
Long shining blades without a scratch on them right next to broken swords that were still coated with the blood of their owners. Shining jewels, battle tokens, pieces of armor that Harbor's blade had cut.
Cole was silently impressed. If there was any man on Octava he considered his equal, it was Harbor.
Riley was observing it all with curiosity in her eyes. She couldn't resist touching every third item as she went, Harbor and Cole hovering right
behind her, ready to pull her hand away if she even got close to one of the poisoned weapons.
"This is amazing," she whispered.
Something clicked in Cole's mind.
"You said the same thing," he told them both as Saber made its way to the agreed point where they could slip into the Alliance's territories. "The day we met."
"I might have," Riley said dreamily, her eyes drinking in the spectacle of the room. "I know it sounds weird for a non-warrior but I absolutely love all this. I think it's incredibly exciting. That's why–"
She trailed off for a second.
"That's why I was so angry when I was sent to Octava," his fated said with deep, heartbreaking sadness in her beautiful gray eyes. "Rowan, my boss, dragged me away from all the things I thought were more important to the people who live in the Alliance. Actual wars, something worth reporting on. Our endless feuds with the Iron League definitely fit the criteria.
“I always prided myself on getting the full picture of everything, digging as close to the truth as it was possible to go. And then he saddled me with the bonds – something that had always existed, that was an utterly unique experience for everyone and that couldn't be described or seen."
She sighed, shaking her head and moving on. Seeing the warning look in Harbor's eyes, Cole said nothing. He simply followed her in silence, looking at his fated for what seemed like the first time.
She was right, he concluded. The lies and omissions of truth they'd told had obscured the truth from all of them. Just as Riley was guilty of trying to hide her emotions, Harbor and he were guilty of trying to force them.
What had stopped them? At what point did they decide it wasn't worth getting to know Riley, rather than simply love her as hard as they could like it was a competition of sorts.
How very Gargon, the commander thought bitterly.