He laughs. “Yeah, that’s true. But it’s different because Jenni’s involved.”
“Damn right it’s different. Without her I, couldn’t—no, I take that back, I wouldn’t do this. She’s been making me do shit since she showed up with that rat she calls a dog.”
“It’s not a bad thing, though.” He lines up in front of the dartboard. I watch as he takes aim, throwing the dart, hitting the red dot right in the fucking middle. He lets out a little woot, pumping his fist in the air.
“No, I wouldn’t say it’s bad. But it’s sure as fuck different.”
He turns around. “Why do it if it isn’t something you see in your life? Why even put up with everything that comes with taking those kids in?”
“Because I fucking love her and I want her happy.”
Nodding, a fucking smile curling at his lips, he smacks me on the shoulder, “It’s time for you to go home, man.”
I know he’s right.
Fuck me.
My stomach revolts as my mouth waters. There’s no fucking way I’m going to puke. I’m not a bitch, and those drinks aren’t gonna get the best of me. Leaning against the counter, I take deep breaths, going through the events of last night. Hawk was there, I thought he was back in California but what the fuck ever. That whole situation is his deal, which is why I don’t ask. We talked, that thought alone makes me want to puke. I’m turning into a fucking pussy ass bitch revealing my feelings and shit to the guys. None of the guys are going to take me seriously if they think I’ve grown a snatch and want to braid their hair and shit while we talk about our feelings.
Fuck that.
Looking at the mirror, I’m sickened by the man who’s staring back at me. The red eyes, dark circles, day old stubble on my face and head. Last night I walked away from my responsibilities, and why? Because I wanted some pussy? Because I wanted what I’ve been used to getting for the better part of my life? Because I’m weak? Am I that selfish that I threw shit in her face, words that I know she’ll never forget, and walked away from her and the kids?
That thought pisses me off. All that talk with Hawk had me opening my eyes to a lot of shit that I’ve not wanted to admit. Because the truth is I fucking love her, and it wouldn’t matter to me if I had to jerk off for the rest of my life as long as Jenni was with me.
Love might make a man weak, but I’d be honored to find my strength in her.
“Are the kids off to school?”
I lean up against the door frame of my room and watch Jenni limp around the bed as she pulls up the sheets up. I know that my bed was made yesterday, so there must be a reason why she’s making it again.
She slept in my fucking bed.
My head spins at the idea, and it’s not fucking helping this massive headache that I’m sporting at the moment. My head feels like a fucking lead weight, and the idea of her body wrapped up in my sheets while she slept only makes it worse. I know there’s shit to say, and that alone makes me want to turn around and lock myself back in the bathroom, but I won’t.
“Yep,” she responds without looking at me. I don’t like that she won’t make eye contact with me.
I push myself off the wall taking only a few steps until I’m so close I can feel the heat of her body next to mine. “What happened?” I ask. “To your ankle, I mean.”
She turns to look at me. That’s when I notice her chin is a deep purple. “You happened, you big oaf!” She stomps her hurt foot. “Son of a…” Her words die off when she feels my hand on her ankle. Knowing that my contact does this to her only fuels the fire of desire. Swallowing down the emotions I feel dancing within my soul, I peer up at her. She’s fucking beautiful, and I’m a damned son of a bitch for turning my back and making her feel as if she’s not what I need.
On my knee, I assess her ankle. It’s slightly swollen but isn’t bruised. “I did this?” I try to rack my brain, but it comes up empty. Last night is a total blank after I admitted to Hawk that I loved her.
“Yeah, you did this. You fell on me when I tried to coax you to your room.”
As I rotate her foot, I can feel her tense, but nothing indicates that it’s more than a simple sprain. From my perch on the floor, I reach up and slightly drag my finger across the blemish that’s marking her chin. “And this?” Deep purple tarnishes her normally smooth skin.
She looks down at me, searching my eyes for the okay. “I thought…” Her voice trails off.
“You thought what?” Moving my hand from her ankle, I continue making my way up her leg.
“I wanted to help you to bed.” She bites her lip. Scooping her up, I take her back to her room. “What are you doing?” she asks.
“Taking you to bed,” I whisper into her ear, then place a chaste kiss on the side of her head. As soon as I enter her room, her scent invades my senses. I never thought all the flowery girlie shit would ever turn me on, but then again, there’s a lot of shit that I’m doing now that I never thought I would do before. And I don’t mind a damn bit.
Her bed is neatly made, the comforter cool upon my hands as I slide them from beneath her. I prop her feet on my lap as she sits, leaning against her headboard. “I’m sorry, baby,” I tell her as I massage her feet.
She plays with the hem of her shirt, not making eye contact with me. “No, you’re right. I haven’t been handling this the right way.”
“What I said was completely uncalled for. Even for me.”
When she brings her eyes to mine, I see vulnerability. “I want to be what you need.”
Her confession guts me.
I made her feel like that. I made her feel like she is isn’t enough for me. But the truth is she’s my fucking everything, and I wish my heart and my mouth would get on the same fucking page so she’d know what I fucking feel.
“You’re enough.”
She shakes her head. Tears well in her eyes, and I wish I knew what the fuck to do to take all this doubt away. Taking her chin in my hand, I tilt her face up.
“Fuck, Jenni, you’re enough. More than enough, and I’m a lucky fucking bastard that you’re stubborn enough to see more of me than what’s really there.” Taking a deep breath, I search her eyes and it’s there I find my strength. “I fucking love you.” The words leave my mouth without a trace of doubt and it makes me feel like a motherfucking superhero. Without another word, I bring her lips to mine and show her exactly what she fucking means to me.
She pulls away, but not too much. “Please, Tylan.” Her breath is hot against my lips. Ahh, this girl and her fucking begging. It fucking undoes me every time.
I rip her shirt from her body. Her bare, perky tits are like a nail in the fucking coffin. I am done for this woman. Done. She’s enough for me. She’s everything to me, and I’ll make damn sure she won’t fucking doubt herself again.
“These right here are why I fucking love you.”
He nips his teeth against my breasts, taking in one nipple at a time. His words hit my heart and send warm chills down my spine. His confession of love is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. He pulls his mouth from my nipple, and with a swift tug, he has my leggings down my body, past my injured foot. Pushing my legs apart, my heart pounds against my chest. He inhales my scent, and when he brings his eyes back to mine, he carries a smirk on his face.
“No, I’ve changed my mine. This is the reason why I fucking love you.”
Licking his lips, he dives back between my legs. The warmth of his breath brings chills throughout my body. As soon as I feel his tongue, I buck beneath him. Squealing at the sensation, my legs tighten around his head.
“You’re such as ass.” I laugh.
He pulls away slightly. “And now she cusses.”
“That’s what happens when I fall in love with a guy who has a potty mouth.”
His body tenses at my words. Uncomfortable and embarrassed, I try to pull myself away from him, but he doesn’t allow it as his hands tighten around my legs.
“Ahh, baby, you don’t have to jump on th
e bandwagon declaring your love just because I said it. I know I ain’t easy to talk to, harder to deal with and impossible to love. Believe me, I didn’t fucking tell you so you can play parrot and repeat it.”
My heart shatters at his confession. Such a damaged man hiding behind his broken armor.
Spreading my legs further apart, he begins to drop his head, but I stop him by placing my hand on his forehead. Maneuvering my legs from away from his body, I gently get on my knees. I can see that he’s exposed, defenseless. I can tell that it’s more than his hangover that’s weighing on him. This man has been through so much that he’ll never allow himself to believe that he’s good enough. The irony isn’t lost on me that not but moments ago, I felt the same way.
“Tylan, have you ever known me to say things that I don’t mean? Have you?” I push, but he doesn’t answer. “I love you because you’re you. You don’t hide that you’re an asshole. You don’t care what anyone thinks, and that’s rare. We’re always trying to please others and never standing by who we really are, but not you. Never have I met a man who speaks without consequence, who’s willing to take on the world as an army of one, no matter the outcome. You’re fierce, loyal–”
He finally looks at me. “I’m fucked up. That’s what I am.”
“Yeah, you are,” I try to joke, lightening the mood.
“I don’t want you to love me. Not when you can love someone who’s worthy of it. Because, baby, that’s not me.”
His confession knocks me back. “Don’t do that. Don’t put yourself down, and don’t you dare tell me who I can and cannot love. You sound like my father. If I want to love you, then I’ll love you. If I want to sleep with you, then I’ll sleep with you. If I want to f-fuck you, then I’ll do just that.”
“You’ll do what?”
Gone is the vulnerable man and in his place in the cocky, overly sexual man that, heaven help me, I’ve fallen in love with. Just like that, the mood is no longer dismal, and the dark waters we were just treading are now clear.
“I’ll love you,” I say with a smile on my face even though I know that’s not what he wants me to repeat.
Without warning he yanks my legs from beneath me, forcing me to fall back on the bed. He crawls up my body, taking my hands that are covering my breasts and placing them above my head. “Will you?”
“Always,” I whisper.
He places his lips on the column of my neck. His growl that radiates from his throat sends shivers through my body. My nipples harden as desire pulls deep within my belly.
“Even when I’m an asshole?” he questions, his voice low. “Even when I screw up over and over? Will you still love me then?”
Arching my back, I push my chest into his. “Yes.”
His teeth nip at my ear. “Even when you know I’m no good, will I still have your love?”
“Forever.” I squirm beneath his body.
“Are you wet, baby?” he asks as he rakes his hand down my body. “Is that what loving me does to you? Does it make you slick with need?” His fingers push into me. “Fuck me, Jenni,” he continues to whisper in my ear. “Even on the tip of my fingers you feel like heaven.”
His mouth covers mine, his tongue a welcome intrusion, feeling perfect against my own. He kisses me with expert precision. Biting my bottom lip, I nearly come undone. His fingers pump into me, hitting the right spot, bringing me to the cusp of ecstasy.
I want it.
I need it.
I need to feel my orgasm like I need to take my next breath.
“Tylan…” I plea.
His fingers stop their motion before he pulls back, looking at me. My arms are still above my head, wrapped in the confines of one of his hands. My heart is pounding in my chest, my thighs clenching on their own accord, trying to relieve the pressure that’s he’s causing.
“I’m gonna love you, baby. Even though there’s gonna be times when I do it wrong, I’ll spend the rest of my life practicing until I get it the fuck right.” He places a chaste kiss upon my lips. “Now, I’m gonna taste that pussy because it’s mine and I’m fucking starving. Got any objections with that?”
“What were you doing in my room this morning?”
Her naked body is wrapped around me while her head rests on my chest. Her curls tickle my nose, having to smooth them out of the way every so often.
“I slept there.”
“Why?”
She pulls her head up, resting her chin on my pecs. “Because, you were right. I have been doing things wrong.” She takes a deep breath, “Truth is, it took an eleven-year-old, wise beyond his years to show me that every situation is different and I need to realize what was right for this situation.”
“And that meant sleeping in my bed?”
“It meant finally doing what my heart wanted and not what my mind thought was right. You have to realize that we are different.”
“You don’t have to remind me of that, Sugar Tits. We are as different as night and day. I’ll never forget that.”
Rolling her eyes, she shifts her body. “Geez, that’s not what I meant. I meant that I grew up different, but that doesn’t make it the right way. I have to make the decisions that are right for me or us and no one else. We’re building something here. You and I are the foundation, and we do it the way that is right for us. Once our foundation is stable, the kids will thrive, and that’s the important thing.”
“Not sure what to say.”
“This is all a learning process.”
Squeezing her body to mine, I place a kiss on the top of her head. “Ain’t that the fucking truth.”
She returns the favor as she kisses my chest, nipping at my skin as her hands roam about. My head falls back as I enjoy the sensation her touch brings to me. “I love your body,” she tells me. “I’ve missed it.”
“My dick missed you.” My comment earns me a squeeze to my balls, and although she may have meant for it to be a form of punishment, my body reacts the opposite way.
Already hard, I flip her on her back, still careful not to hurt her ankle. It’s like my dick is metal and her pussy is a fucking magnet because I slide right into home without any problem. My eyes roll back in my head at the feel of her pussy around my cock. Best fucking feeling in the world. She is fucking made for me.
I pull out slightly then push back in. I don’t need to fuck her, not right now. I need her to feel me, all of me, so I stroke my dick in and out, slow and steady. Covering her body with mine, I place soft kisses behind her ear as I continue to lazily slide in and out. “I was afraid of my feelings for you,” I whisper my confession. “But I never feared that you would use your power to destroy me.” I nip at her ear. “That’s how I knew that I could love you without thinking of myself as weak because you give me more strength than I could ever have on my own.”
Pulling back, I build up the courage to look her in the face. Feeling vulnerable isn’t an emotion I’m used to, but I’m not worried that she’ll use it to take what she wants. She doesn’t need to take anything because I’ll willingly give her anything she ever wants.
“I love you,” she tells me with tears in her eyes. “I love you so much.”
And I fucking believe her.
“Lick?” Savannah calls me from the front of the store.
Sin took off a little while ago to meet Hawk for some shit, so I’m holding down the shop with the assistance of Savannah. Lately, it seems this is the only spot in the club that I’m needed, and even though it still jerks my chain, Cut assures me he’ll call if he needs me.
Jenni’s at home, trying to finish her online finals. Hopefully, once these last classes are done, she’ll be able to get into a classroom and finally be able to do some student teaching. She says she’s eligible for substitute status right now and plans on getting her name down at the kids’ school. I know if I were the kids, I’d be pissed as fuck to have my parental figure lurking around my school and my friends, but they like her and like having her around, so who am I to say
shit.
“Okay, Rox, very good. Now I want you to continue to write your numbers past one hundred.”
Walking into the kitchen, I find both Roxy and Ryder at the table. Workbooks near Roxy, text books near Ryder. Even little man takes a seat under the table the entire time the kids are working. This whole situation has become routine in the house. Jenni makes sure her stuff is taken care of before the kids get home so she can focus her attention on them and their needs.
It fucking twists my heart to see her put so much effort into these kids. It’s proof of how much my sister and I missed out on. I always did my homework in the confines of my own room, and when she needed help, she came to me. There was never any help at the kitchen table. Even the few times when I’d ask my father for help, it was usually late in the evening once I was ready for bed and he’d made his way home from work.
“Everything okay?” I ask as I pull open the refrigerator. Meat is marinating on the shelf, telling me that I get to BBQ tonight.
“Yeah. We’re good.” Jenni walks about the table, peering over Ryder’s shoulder. “Use your notes, baby, if you can’t remember the answers. Here’s the study guide. That’s what it’s there for.” She pushes a piece of paper over to him.
“I hate history,” he grumbles as he takes the paper into his hands.
“History’s a piece of cake,” I tell him before I take a pull of my beer. “All you gotta do is read the shit until you memorize it. Besides, teachers now a days practically give away the answers. Wasn’t like that when I was younger. You read the chapters, took the section quizzes and the final test, or you failed. I’m fucking shocked the teachers don’t stand in front of the classroom calling out the answers.”
“I don’t really need any of this in life.”
“Sure as fuck you do.”
Ryder eyes me. “No, I don’t. Not where I’m going.”
“And where the fuck are you going, boy?”
“I’m enlisting in the Marines. Just like Sin.”
Lick: Devil's Fury Book 2 Page 19