Laney knew she was putting a damper on their playtime, but she had to take precautions. She had to protect them. She looked at their downcast faces and felt herself caving. “Alright, you can play in our side yard and our back yard. Deal?”
Matt cheered. “Yay! Deal!” Then both kids ran off, throwing snow the whole way. Laney felt a snowball hit her square in the back, then heard the laughter that followed. She set Melanie down and took off at a full run, packing snow as she went.
* * * *
After tucking in her very tired children, she made herself a cup of tea and studied her to-do list. She opened her planner and added “SDC,” for self-defense class, to Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Ah, life is getting full.
Joy and Matt’s school plays were in two weeks and all three kids had parts in the church play the Sunday before Christmas. Joy was Mary. She was so excited. Apparently Isabel, Jessi’s oldest daughter, insisted that someone else play Mary this year. She had done it last year and it was only fair someone else got the part. Matt was going to be a shepherd and Melanie was going to be the littlest angel ever. Mark and Jessi really are good people. Even their kids have good hearts. She set down her pen.
“God, are you there? Can you hear me? I don’t know if I’m doing this right. Truthfully, I can’t remember the last time I tried to talk to you.” Laney looked around the room then suddenly dropped her head and closed her eyes. “Sorry about that. I forgot to bow my head. I guess it has been a long time.” She continued. “God, I need some help here. I don’t know who else to ask. Everyone is doing their best. I just don’t think it’s enough. I want to stay here. I really do. I like my home. I like my job. I love my friends. I don’t want to leave. I’m scared, God. What is going to happen to us?” Laney opened one eye. She wasn’t sure what she expected, but she was still alone. She wasn’t entertaining angels this time around. She shuddered. That would have been scary. “So, God, do you think you can help me?”
Laney closed her notebook and her date book. She didn’t have any answers but she did feel peace, something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. She rinsed out her teacup and made her way down the hall. Her first stop was the girls’ room. She stood for a long minute, tenderly caressing each of her girls’ cheeks. She loved them dearly. Just the sight of them made her heart glad. They were here, beneath her roof, safe and sound.
She made her way to Matt’s room. He was sleeping soundly. The solar system was plastered on his ceiling. She loved it. She’d never been able to decorate her room when she was young. It wasn’t allowed. She brushed his bangs out of his eyes and bent down to kiss his forehead. He turned in his sleep as she gently closed his door.
Her eyelids grew heavy as she entered her own room. She crawled between the crisp sheets and pulled the comforter up under her chin. “God, it’s me again. I want to make a deal. If you get us through Christmas without any problems from Paul, I promise I’ll come to church every Sunday with the kids. Is it a deal? It’s only fair, right? You do something for me, and I’ll do something for you. I just want a little time with them before he makes a mess of things.” She waited. Nothing. She’d take that as a yes.
She fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, unaware of the angel hovering over, protecting her from the enemy. Since there had been nothing to interrupt her sleep, not even the slightest fraction of a dream infiltrated her memory; she awoke refreshed and ready to tackle the day. It was Sunday. Pancake Day. To make it special, she took out the package of bacon she had bought and heated up the griddle. She was actually excited about going to church with her kids. “Did you hear that? I’m keeping my part of the bargain. I’m going to church.” She turned on the radio that sat on the counter and began to sing with Journey as she stirred pancake batter and flipped bacon. “Don’t stop, believin' ...!” she belted it out, not caring who heard her.
Chapter Nineteen
Ella knelt at her chair as soon as Laney and the kids left. She knew the heartache and the worry that was tormenting Laney, threatening the peace that was slowly permeating the poor woman’s life. Lord, watch over her. Protect her Father. Give her peace Lord and bring her to know you, not of you, but know you personally Lord.
She had promised the kids she would help them make Christmas cookies so she bundled up and walked to the shelter, where she found eight kids anxiously waiting for her. She started with all the kids’ favorite, cut-out cookies. She looked at the grinning hoodlums, wondering what she had got herself into. Thank goodness some of the moms wanted to learn too.
“Alright, I am going to mix up the dough and everyone will get their own little batch to roll out. I’ll show you how cause it can be sticky. Did everyone wash their hands?”
The kids took off running for the bathroom while a couple of the moms washed at the kitchen sink.
One of the moms stepped close to Ella and whispered, “Ms. Ella, there is somebody at the door. We ain’t supposed to get it. Ms. Sheila is in her office with door closed. She got somebody in there.”
Ella had been trained to answer the door, but she didn’t like the idea of one of these dear women being found out.
“Keep the kids in here while I see who it is. I’ll be right back.” Heartbeats pounded from all over the room. Everything else was silent and each woman knew what someone at the door could mean. Even the children had lost their fervor for decorating cookies and stood silently by their mothers, waiting.
Ella approached the door with trepidation. Putting on her strongest, nothing is wrong face; she opened it with a smile. She wasn’t prepared for who stood before her.
The woman looked small, fragile and if Ella wasn’t mistaken, she looked just like Laney’s youngest daughter, Melanie. She waited for the woman to speak first.
“Hi, I am looking for Sheila, Sheila Richardson, is she here?”
Ella wasn’t sure what was happening in Sheila’s office, but what was happening outside their door seemed pretty important. So she took a chance.
“Sheila, can you be interrupted? There is someone at the door for you.”
Ella could hear Sheila from the other side of the door. “I’ll be right back. Just sit tight.”
The office door opened and Ella followed Sheila to the front door. The older version of Melanie spoke up. “Sheila, I don’t know if you remember me, but I am Laney Richardson’s mom, Barbara. I am looking for her and I thought you might know where she is? It’s real important that I speak with her.”
“Yes, I remember you. It’s good to see you again. Come in.” Sheila stepped aside and excused herself. “Please be seated in the parlor. I am with someone but I should be finishing up in the next few minutes. Would you like some tea? Coffee, perhaps?” Sheila directed her comment to Ella. “Ella, would you see to Mrs. Anderson while I finish up in the office. I’ll be back in a just a few minutes.”
Ella extended her hand. “Hi, I’m Ella. Would you like some tea?”
“Yes, I’d love some. It is cold this afternoon and the drive was quite long. Some refreshment would be nice. Thank you.”
Ella made her way back to the kitchen where the activity level had returned to normal. There were a few burnt cookies on a cookie sheet and some dough on the floor. Cookie cutters were lying around on the kitchen bar as well as on the kitchen table. “How are you all doing? Are any of those cookies salvageable? I need a couple to go with a cup of tea.” Ella plugged in the electric teapot, then readied the tea tray. She remembered her first teatime at the house and the Jasmine tea that Sheila had offered her. She removed the same pretty tea set from the cupboard and added an assortment of tea to the little holder. She poured the hot water into the teapot and took the tray to the parlor.
Ella wasn’t sure if she was supposed to entertain their guest while Sheila was busy, but it felt wrong somehow to just leave her so she took a cup of tea with her.
Mrs. Anderson took a sip then gasped and dropped her cup onto the coffee table, sending pieces of beautiful china onto the wood floor below. She stood up and sta
rted toward the entryway. Ella turned to see Sheila standing near the front door with a gentleman.
Mrs. Anderson approached the two of them rather quickly for an older woman. “You! You are the man trying to find my Laney. I won’t let you. Do you hear me? She isn’t going back to that monster.” Her right hand was hitting his chest with each word she said.
Sheila quickly stepped in. “Barbara, yes, Austin was hired to find Laney, but he gave the money back to Paul. He isn’t going to help him find her.” Sheila put her arm around the shaking woman and led her back to the couch. Ella had already busied herself cleaning up the glass. “Ella, would you get Mrs. Anderson another tea cup? I have a feeling she’s going to need it.” Sheila thanked Ella with her eyes and returned her attention to the hurting woman before her. “Can I pour you some more tea? We can talk in here where it’s comfortable.” Austin took a seat on the chair across from the couch.
Barbara, not trusting her voice, shook her head yes. She sloshed a little of the light yellow liquid onto the saucer as she took the cup.
Sheila continued. “Barbara, Laney is safe. She is aware of the extent to which Paul is going to find her and she is concerned, but we are all doing our best to keep her safe. I cannot give you her information, but I can contact her and let her know you are here. Would you like that?”
The tea was soothing to her nerves and there was nothing her heart desired more than to see her daughter. “Yes, please let her know I’m here. I want to see my baby.”
Sheila excused herself for the second time that afternoon and called Laney from her office. The phone rang several times before she answered and when she did she was out of breath.
“Hello!”
“Laney, it’s Sheila. You sound winded. You okay?”
“Oh yeah, I was just playing with the kids. We broke out the Twister game after church.”
“Well, I have a visitor. Your mother is here.”
“What? My mother is at the house? Why? What happened? How did she find me? Did Paul put her up to it? Did he follow her?”
“Laney, slow down. No, I don’t believe anyone put her up to it. She’s asking for you. Can you come down here? I think you need to hear her out.” Sheila swallowed. “And for the record, she didn’t find you. She found me.”
“Yes, yes, of course. I’ll be down as soon as I get the kids bundled up. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“I can send Austin to walk with you. He’s here. When she saw him, she attacked him, Laney. I mean she literally attacked him. Hitting his chest, yelling at him for trying to find you. In a manner of speaking, she even threatened him.”
“She did?” Laney couldn’t believe her ears. Her mother stood up for her? This was a first. “No, it’s okay. You don’t need to send Austin. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Sheila opened the door when she heard Laney and the kids approach. It was hard not to hear three active kids. She pulled her into a hug as soon as her friend walked in the door. “She’s in the parlor. And believe it or not, Austin is still breathing.” Sheila smiled and wiped Laney’s tears with her thumbs. “Come on. I’ll get Austin and we’ll give you two some space.”
Laney ran into the living room and threw her arms around her mother. “Mom, what are you doing here?”
Barbara ran her hands across her daughter’s cheeks and hair. “Honey, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She held her daughter close, wishing she had been stronger, had been a better mother. “Let me look at you.” Still holding her by the shoulders, she put enough distance between them to get a good look at her daughter. “I haven’t seen you this happy in years. I can tell. This has been good for you. You are glowing. I wish I had been strong like you, strong enough to leave. Maybe then you wouldn’t be going through all this.”
“Mom, what is done is done. We can’t change it. We can go forward from here, though. I don’t feel strong. Every day I feel like running, like hiding. But, I know I have to eventually face my problems if I ever want to live a normal life with my kids. I like it here. I have a good job. I have a small home I am renting. I have good friends and support when I am feeling down and lonely. The only thing I was missing was my mom, and here you are. You still haven’t answered me though. Why are you here?”
“I had to find you. I couldn’t stand the thought of that man hurting you ever again. I need to explain things to you. At first, shortly after your dad and I were married, I tried to leave him. But he taught me a lesson I never forgot and I never worked up the courage to try again. Over time, I felt like I deserved the treatment I received. I even ended up justifying his abuse, telling myself that I needed the structure and leadership he provided. It was his job as the man of the house, as the head of our marriage, to help me see the error of my ways.”
Laney poured more tea for both of them while her mother continued to talk.
“When you left for college, I was relieved. I thought you would be safe, that being away from our home you would have a normal life, totally opposite from what you were used to. Then, you brought home Paul. He was controlling from the start, but I dared not say anything. Your father and I had fallen into a routine of sorts and as long as I played by the rules, I avoided being hit. I was too afraid to say anything to you. Your father believed in his rules and according to him, you found a man who would make sure you followed the rules too. He didn’t see what he was doing as wrong. He didn’t and still doesn’t see how much he has hurt you.” She took a drink of her tea. “We married at a time when what went on in someone else’s home was no one else’s business. People looked the other way when I showed up to church with bruises. It was none of their concern. Things have changed so much since then, Laney. For the better.”
Laney held her mother’s hand while she poured out her heart. She’d never heard her mother speak like this before. “Mom, then you have put yourself in danger. If he finds out you found me, he’ll beat you.”
“Honey, he can’t hurt me anymore. Yes, maybe he can hurt my physical body, but I gave all this to the Lord and well, if I am no longer breathing on this earth, then I’ll be in heaven with my Lord. Where there will be no more tears and no more pain. That means no more bruises and cuts, Laney. Can you imagine life without some part of your body hurting?”
Laney could feel the tears streaming down her face.
Her mother continued, “No, it’s time I stood up for you and become the parent God commissioned me to be. I will not let anyone hurt you ever again. Do you hear me? You mean so much to me. I love you, Laney. I always have, I was just afraid to show it. Can you forgive me?”
“Oh, mom, yes, yes. I forgive you. I love you too.”
Both women clung to one another, drawing strength from each other.
Laney let go first. “I believe your grandchildren would like to see you.” She motioned toward the three kids standing in the entryway.
“Joy, Matt and Melanie, come here. Let me see you.” Barbara hugged each of the children and kissed their cheeks. It had been too long since she had seen them, or drawn from the energy of their youth. “Are you all ready for Christmas? Are you ready for Santa to come?”
Joy rolled her eyes and her mother shot her a warning look.
Matt excitedly joined the conversation. “We made cookies. Ms. Ella let us help and we brought some home for Santa. I made a world and I ate it.”
“A world? What kind of cookie is a world cookie?”
He explained. “I took all the left over cookie dough and made it round and I baked it. Then I decorated it like the world. It was so good.”
After the kids spent a little time with their grandmother, they joined the group in the kitchen making cookies. Sheila and Austin joined Laney and her mother. They needed to discuss the next steps.
Sheila was the first to speak out. “Barbara --May I call you Barbara?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I am concerned for your safety. Your husband is going to consider this a personal attack on his manhood and his status a
s head of your home. Even though he hasn’t struck you lately, he still holds onto his archaic beliefs of keeping a woman in line. How do you plan on handling this situation?”
Barbara didn’t answer for a few seconds. “Like I said to Laney, it doesn’t matter what Dave does to me as long as Laney is safe. I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to her.”
Austin joined the conversation. “We’ll do everything we can to make sure she is safe. But all of us must take precautions, including you.” He looked directly at Barbara. “I spent time with Paul. He is determined to find her. I understand that, but you must not deliberately put yourself in harm's way. You must think of yourself as well. No one deserves to live their lives in fear and pain. If we all put our heads together, there must be a way to keep both of you safe.”
Sheila looked around the small group huddled in her parlor. “I say we start with prayer. God says where two or three are gathered together, he is there in the midst of them. He’s here with us and he has every answer we need. He’ll direct our every step. Even when we don’t know where to turn.” She smiled at Austin. “When Austin was sitting outside my house I was on my knees, praying for Laney, for her safety. He made a way where there was no way in that situation. He can do it again.”
They joined hands and prayed prayers of desperation, pleading with God to answer them and provide a way out where there seemed to be no way.
* * * *
Barbara walked into their kitchen bearing one bag of groceries. She knew he’d notice but she was past caring. She kept her eyes straight ahead and acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
He was sitting at the table waiting for her. “Where have you been?”
She could feel her hands grow sweaty, remembering the last time he questioned her this way. Not this time. “I had a few errands to run. I’m sorry I’m late.”
“A few errands? You’ve been gone most of the day. Now, tell me where you were.”
Forever Blessed (Women of Prayer) Page 10