“Mom, are you there?”
“Yes, honey. I just don’t know what to say. I didn’t know that was possible. That being sick could cause someone to abuse someone else.”
“Mom, you couldn’t have known. The studies that are being done are relatively new. Sometimes people hurt other people because they want to, because they can and because it makes them feel better about themselves. Sometimes it has nothing to do with a sickness or a disease.”
“Can they remove the tumor?”
“They think so. They are going to first test to see if it’s cancer. If the tumor is operable, they will remove it. If not, then we are looking at radiation and possibly chemotherapy. Right now it’s a wait and see game. In the meantime, we are taking one day at a time and Cliff is watching for things that might trigger his aggression. Hopefully, until we can actually do something about the tumor, that will help.”
“Marsha, please be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you or the kids, Cliff either.”
“Mom, now I’m asking you to pray. I don’t understand it, but we need all the help we can get. Will you do that for us?”
“You know I will. I have been and I won’t stop. God is going to work all this out, you’ll see. He has a plan. We may not understand it, but he has one nonetheless. Please keep me updated?”
“I promise, mom, I won’t let things get to where they used to be between us. I will call you and let you know what is happening every step of the way. I’ll bring the boys more often too, okay? Things are going to change. Again, I am so sorry for how I have treated you. Thank you for loving me anyway. I love you, mom. I have to go.”
Ella hung up the phone feeling guilty. Part of her was thankful, thankful that she had her little girl back. She shouldn’t feel gratitude when such a horrible disease has attacked her family. But holding her daughter, listening to her laughter and wiping away her tears brought her such joy, one she wouldn’t have known had it not been for this tumor. “God, if there had been another way, that would have been okay. I know, your ways are not my ways and your plans are not my plans. Just thought I’d bring it up in case you needed some ideas. Yeah, I know you don’t. Can you blame a girl for trying?”
Ella had a bounce in her step. Her daughter had come home. Just like the prodigal son from the Bible. She could imagine what that father felt like. Life was better; everything was better now that her baby was back in her life.
If she hurried, she could still make it in time for prayer before church service. When she arrived, there was a crowd gathered in front of the building. Everyone was blocking her view. She couldn’t see what they were all whispering about. She elbowed her way to the front. Written across the brick front of the church wall were “cowards” and “weaklings.” There were upside down crosses and pentagrams. Pastor Mark had already called the police and they were on their way.
This latest act of vandalism reminded Ella of the rock thrown through her window. The police had stopped investigating and told her it was probably kids from the neighborhood wreaking havoc. They would probably say the same thing about the vandalism to the church. There wasn’t enough damage to do a full investigation. No one had been hurt.
They were still looking into the arson at the shelter, but that was because the insurance company was breathing down their necks.
Ella was thinking hard about all the "incidents," as the local law enforcement liked to call them. There was only one thing they had in common and that was Laney. She was the common denominator in all of them.
The church members that had come for prayer made their way into the sanctuary, determined to pray regardless of the attacks of the enemy. These men and women of God knew that while people are often used by the enemy to accomplish his will, the battle is not with flesh and blood, but with the forces of evil. Some mighty prayer warriors went down on their knees that morning and the enemy knew full well that war had been waged.
Ella joined the forces and prayed like she’d never prayed before.
* * * *
Laney stood in front of the church with the others only a moment before she entered. It had to be him. Who else would only be targeting people or places she went or had relationships with? It made no sense for it to be anyone else. It made her mad.
She leaned in toward Ella, gave her a side hug and quietly whispered, “I’ve missed you. Did you have a good time with Marsha?”
Ella grasped the hand that was placed on her shoulder. The smile and the tears welling up in her eyes were answer enough. Laney joined her on the pew.
If the worship was any indicator, it was business as usual this morning at church. Not one person let the supposed random graffiti interrupt their time with God. If anything, the Sunday morning worshippers seemed to be more enthusiastic than they usually were. Laney clapped along to the beat and sang as best she could. “He’s under our feet, under our feet, the enemy is under our feet.”
She’d never heard that song before. The worship and the message seemed to have a common theme, fighting in a war we can’t see and trampling the enemy, whom she assumed to be Satan. She assumed she would hear complaining and see some anger today at church. She couldn’t have been farther off. These people were worshipping God like never before.
Pastor Mark started the message by asking everyone to stand to their feet and let out some kind of war cry, as far as she could tell. People hooted and hollered, pumping their fists into the air and stomping their feet.
After a couple of minutes of this, everyone sat down and Pastor Mark began his message in earnest. “I’m excited! How about you?” Shouts came from all over the sanctuary in reply.
Laney looked around the room. Are they crazy? Excited because some nut job sprayed paint and crude symbols all over the front of the church building?
Pastor Mark continued. “Yeah, we are excited and I’ll tell you why, because we have the enemy’s attention. That’s right. We have to be doing something right if the enemy feels the need to mess with us.”
Laney never thought of it that way before.
“If we are a threat to his kingdom, the kingdom that is swiftly coming to an end, he’s going to try and dissuade us from continuing. But, I have news for him. It’s going to take more than him and his army of demons to stop us. 1 Peter 5, verses 8 through 10, tells us to "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
He continued. “Did you hear that? The word of God tells us to be aware, to know what is going on. Satan is going to come and he’s going to try and distract us from our work here on earth. The word also tells us we aren’t alone. Our brothers and sisters are going through the same stuff, all over the world. We have news for our adversary, don’t we? He isn’t going to win!” The whole sanctuary went crazy. “Verse ten tells us that there is good news. God, the creator of the universe, after he allows us to suffer for a while, is going to perfect us. He is going to establish us. He is going to strengthen us. And he is going to settle us. Anyone else feel like shouting 'Hallelujah 'with me?”
Again, the people erupted in shouts. “You see, he has established us in him through his son Jesus Christ. And he has strengthened us with the Holy Spirit. He will settle us with his perfect peace that passes all understanding. And he is going to perfect us as we are changed from glory to glory to always live with him in paradise. Can I hear an amen?”
Laney wasn’t used to hearing Pastor Mark preach like this. He was normally more even-tempered from the pulpit. She had to say it was an interesting service. She wondered what Ella was thinking.
The praise band struck up the song they had sung earlier about the enemy being under our feet as Pastor Mark dismisse
d the group. The atmosphere was charged with an expectant feel as people began to congregate and talk with one another. Laney met her older kids on her way to pick up Melanie from the toddler room. “Mom, can we go out to eat? Please?”
“Why not? You want to see if Miss Ella would like to go with us?”
Joy and Matt took off to find Ella while she signed Melanie out. Laney had just left the kids' area when one nursery worker said to the other, “Did you tell her about the guy who was in here asking about her and the kids?”
“Oh, no, I forgot. I’ll tell her next week.”
Chapter Thirty
Laney sat at the kitchen table with her checkbook in hand. Looking between the balance and the list of needs, she knew she was going to have to sacrifice something, but what? They had to have groceries. Matt needed new boots. He’d already outgrown his and there were still almost two months of winter yet. She felt defeated.
She looked over the list, weighing the need with the money available. Working overtime the next couple of months would help, but she would also feel like she was failing her kids. Leaving Melanie in day care all day was not what she had wanted when she’d planned the "mom thing." She wanted to be the one to raise her and watch her grow into a young girl.
She turned her attention back to the list. Groceries could be cut down a bit. The kids wouldn’t be happy but she could cut out the excess, maybe save them a few bucks that way. If the van didn’t need attention, she would be fine. But, the front tires were bald and she desperately needed new ones. There was nothing she could do. Not if she didn’t want to be slipping and sliding all over the snow-filled roads.
She put the checkbook away. This was not the day to be fretting over her finances. She was bummed as it was. Today was her anniversary. She looked at the ring on her finger. She still wore it, even though she wasn’t sure why.
She was about to have herself a real good cry when she heard the knock on the door. The cry would have to wait.
Ella stood on the front stoop shivering.
“Come in, it’s freezing out there. What are you out and about for?”
The older woman began taking off her coat and scarf. “I am going to be gone for a few days. I was wondering if you would keep a watch on my house. After the window incident, I’m fearful to leave, but my daughter needs me and that is more important than a house.”
“Of course, is she okay?”
“Cliff is having surgery. They’re going to remove the tumor. Thank God it isn’t malignant. Marsha will be busy with him and they asked if I would come and help out with the kids. I am taking the bus down to Chicago and Marsha is picking me up at the station. Between her job and Cliff’s illness, she can’t keep up with everything. At least I can help at the house.”
Ella looked at Laney more carefully. “Are you okay?”
“Oh Ella, I’m a mess.” She looked away, hoping to avoid a scene. Crying in front of people was not her thing. “Today is my anniversary. I feel like I failed. Somehow I failed Paul, I failed myself, I failed my marriage and I failed God. I’m not sure things could get much worse.”
Ella wisely remained silent and let Laney talk it all out.
“Why do I care about Paul? Why does it matter if I failed him or not? Should I call him up and say ‘Happy Anniversary?’ Should I send it in an email and add, ‘Hey, why don’t you leave my family and friends alone? Ella, I’m so confused. I don’t know what I should feel or think. I find something wrong with every thought I have running through my head.” Both women sat down. “Today is supposed to be a day of celebration and instead I’m crying my eyes out. This is supposed to be the day we exchange cards and go away for a romantic night alone. Maybe have a glass of wine and a romantic dinner out.” She blew her nose. “I’m sorry to unload on you like this. You have enough going on in your life without adding my drama to it.” She went on, disregarding her own words. “Or should I call up my girlfriends and go out and celebrate? Maybe that is the way to look at this.”
For a few minutes she held onto Ella and cried on her shoulder, using her as a sounding board and a pillow. “Why does life have to be so hard?” Listening to her own words brought on a fresh onslaught of tears.
Ella held onto the woman next to her as tightly as her tired bones would allow. She’d been there. She’d cried through more anniversaries, birthdays and Mother’s Days than any one person should ever have to. Eventually the wall she built around herself protected her from those days that were guaranteed to bring only pain. Even then, she felt the hollow empty place inside her that should have been filled with the warmth of her loved ones. She could never quite rid herself of the longing to be filled.
She stroked Laney’s hair, comforting her as best she could. “Everything will work out, one way or the other. You are strong, Laney, you’ll get through this.” She knew her words sounded cold, but she didn’t know what else to say. Besides, Laney would get through it. Just like everyone else, one step at a time, one moment at a time and one tear at a time. Over the course of months or years, she would be far enough away to be safe, the healing process would be well under way and her tears would be spent. This she knew from experience.
* * * *
Laney agreed to take Ella to the bus station the following morning and see her off before she went to work. With that settled, Ella spent the rest of the evening packing for her trip. She took anything that would spoil to Laney and the kids. She didn’t want any surprise smells to contend with when she got home.
Early the next morning Ella loaded her suitcase into Laney’s van and got situated in the passenger seat. The kids were belted in the backseat, ready for school and daycare. She was excited and nervous all at the same time. She’d never before been invited to her daughter’s house. She wasn’t sure what to expect.
After giving hugs and kisses to the kids, Ella wrapped her arms around Laney and promised to keep her posted. She boarded the bus and waved goodbye to them from her seat. The bus left the lot a few minutes later bound for the northern suburbs of Chicago where she’d transfer to a train heading to Union Station in Chicago. Marsha assured her it would be an easy transfer and get her to downtown much quicker than a bus. Ella sure hoped she was right. Her seat was comfortable and she brought her Bible to help her pass the time. No use to worry about something that hasn’t happened yet.
She read, for the third time recently, the story of the prodigal son and his return home to the father who loved him so. She couldn’t help it. This daughter of hers was lost and was now found. She knew exactly what that father felt like.
Ella exited the train and followed the crowd. As she entered Union Station, she couldn’t help but turn her eyes upward. The details of the building were fascinating. The vaulted ceiling with all the windows and the arched doorways were beautiful. She’d never seen anything like it.
A voice from behind her said, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Ella turned around. “Marsha I didn’t see you. I was so distracted by this lovely building.” She hugged her daughter while her grandson took her bag and led the way out of the station. Once again, the view took her breath away.
“Marsha, I’m overwhelmed. Do you live in one of these buildings?”
“No, mom. We live in a house in the suburbs. Not too far from the lake. I think you’ll like it.”
“I’m going to take you and the boys back to the house, and then head back here to the hospital. We’ve been there all morning. I took the boys out of school for today and tomorrow so they could spend some time with Cliff before his surgery.” She cast a knowing sideways glance at Ella. Both women knew that anything could happen in surgery.
“That was a good idea. What time is his surgery tomorrow?”
“First thing tomorrow morning. We need to be at the hospital bright and early. I’d say around 7am.”
“I’ll be ready.”
The rest of the way home was spent in busy chatter. They talked about the weather, the house, the housekeeper and the dog.
Everything Ella would need to know when things got really hectic after the surgery. The only subject they didn’t discuss was Cliff’s surgery and the "what-ifs." The big elephant in the room was avoided at all costs, especially since the boys were in the truck.
Marsha traveled up Lake Shore Boulevard. Bits and pieces of ice reflected the sun, making the lake glisten like crystals. The mist hovering over the water testified to just how cold that water would be. Deadly. Ella wondered how any fish could survive in such cold water. God sure created some interesting creatures.
They pulled into the driveway of a mansion. At least that was what Ella thought. She stood inside the entryway, not moving. The boys took off running with her luggage in tow and disappeared. She looked around. The staircase looming in front of her was grand and curved. The flooring was marble and the oak woodwork was polished. Her daughter owned all this?
Marsha had wondered what her mother would think of her home. It was a far cry from how she had grown up. “Mom, it’s just a house.”
“Mmm-hmmm,” was pretty much all Ella got out. She followed Marsha to the kitchen. Stainless steel appliances and white cupboards with speckled green marble counters were the highlight of this huge kitchen. “Wow, I get to cook in here?” She ran her hand along the counters and moved to the stove. What she wouldn’t have given for a stove like this when her kids were growing up. She’d seen kitchens like this one in magazines. That was about it.
“Mom, you don’t have to. I have a housekeeper that comes in every day to do the basics, you know, the cleaning, laundry and some of the cooking.”
“Oh, honey, I can do that stuff while I’m here.”
“Mom, I am paying her either way, so how about we compromise. You do the cooking and she can do the cleaning. I don’t want my mom cleaning my house. Deal? You can familiarize yourself with the kitchen later. Let me show you your room.”
Forever Blessed (Women of Prayer) Page 16