by Nina Milne
‘I was a lifeguard when I was a teenager.’ A choice her parents had disapproved of heartily. Funny how they’d chosen to be interested in something so insignificant when they’d ignored everything else in her life. When they’d ignored her. ‘I have first-aid experience, and falls were the first thing they taught us to deal with.’
‘I stand corrected.’ His smile was more genuine now, less cocky, and yet it had the same effect on her body.
Or maybe it was the fact that he still didn’t have a shirt on, and she was being treated to her afternoon entertainment close-up.
She almost lifted a hand to check whether she was drooling.
‘Well, now that I know you’re okay I should probably be off.’ She took a long time to get to her feet, and cursed silently when she saw how smoothly he did it.
‘How can I repay you?’
She snorted. ‘For what? Rushing over here and embarrassing us both?’
‘Why would you be embarrassed?’
Good question. ‘Because clearly you were fine and I panicked over nothing?’
‘You panicked?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘It was a hard fall, okay? I was worried.’
She couldn’t tell what had changed on his face, but something had. And it made his already too perfect features seem even more appealing. ‘So, I’m repaying you for being worried. It’s not often that people care.’
‘No, it isn’t,’ she agreed, feeling the words hit a little too close to home. ‘But I don’t need to be repaid. You’re fine. Right?’ He nodded. ‘So, I’ll be seeing you.’
She turned to leave and managed to get a few steps away from the gate before his voice called out, ‘Which window?’
She turned back. ‘What?’
‘From which window did you see me fall?’
‘That one.’ She nodded to the window on the second level of the house next door, grateful that the chair she’d been sitting on—or the chips she’d been eating while watching him—wasn’t visible.
‘That’s my sister’s house.’
It took a moment for her mind to process the new information. ‘Your sister?’ she repeated. ‘You’re Dylan?’
‘Yeah,’ he said, his forehead creasing. ‘Who are you? And why are you staying in my sister’s house?’
‘I’m Jess. Jessica,’ she added quickly. ‘I’m staying at the house while Anja and Chet are away.’
His features tightened. ‘Away where?’
‘Sydney. They wanted to get Anja’s new yoga studio up and running before the—’ She caught herself before it was too late. She couldn’t tell Dylan about the baby. Anja would kill her. And she didn’t need to upset one of the few people who cared about her. ‘Does she know you’re here?’
‘No.’
‘Oh.’
There was a long stretch of silence before either of them spoke again. And then she asked, ‘You’ve been back for at least a week. Why haven’t you come over? Or tried to call her?’
He frowned. ‘How do you know how long I’ve been back for?’
Jess felt her eyes widen, her cheeks heat, before she managed to reply with something other than I’ve been watching you. ‘I heard the garbage truck pick up your bin earlier this week.’ She held her breath and hoped he’d buy the somewhat lame excuse.
‘And how do you know that I haven’t tried to call her?’
‘She...would have told me.’
He studied her. ‘How exactly do you know Anja?’
Something about the way he asked it put her back up. ‘I’m her PA.’
‘She let her PA stay in her house?’ There was barely a pause before he continued. ‘She would tell her PA if her brother called her?’
Jess straightened. ‘Yes. Your sister and I are also friends. Good friends.’ She kept her hand from going to her stomach—to the proof of the bond that she and Anja shared—and forced herself to calm down when an inner voice questioned why she was responding so defensively. ‘I didn’t realise it was you when I came over.’
‘But you knew I lived next door?’
‘Yes,’ she replied, but it got her thinking about why it hadn’t occurred to her that Mr Sexy-Next-Door was actually Anja’s brother. ‘I knew you lived next door, but Anja didn’t tell me which next door you lived in.’
‘And you never asked?’
You’re not exactly a topic of conversation either of us readily bring up. ‘It didn’t matter.’
‘Because my sister doesn’t talk about me?’
‘Because you weren’t here.’
Though both answers were true, it seemed as if Dylan cared more about the option she’d offered. Because when he’d given his option his face hadn’t tightened the way it had after she’d spoken. Hurt hadn’t flashed across his face, quickly followed by a blankness she couldn’t help but feel was desperate.
‘Why are you here?’ she said after a moment, unable to help herself.
‘I live here.’ There was a beat of silence. ‘This is my home.’
‘It hasn’t been,’ she reminded him, still compelled by reasons she wasn’t quite sure of. ‘Not for the last two years.’
‘No, it has been,’ Dylan replied softly. ‘But even the best of us run away from home sometimes, don’t we?’
Her heart stalled, reminding her of the old car she’d seen just that morning, spluttering down the road in front of Anja’s house. Why did it feel as if he was talking about her? To her? As if he instinctively knew that she’d turned her back on the place she’d once called home? As if he knew that she’d run from the parents who hadn’t cared enough to even try to make her believe that they wanted her to stay?
‘When are they coming back?’ Dylan asked gruffly. Jess shook her head, ignoring the need to push for more answers. To find out why telling her he’d run from home had clearly upset him. It was none of her business.
‘The end of the month.’ Though Jess had a feeling it would be a lot sooner once she told Anja that Dylan had returned. ‘How long have you been back?’
‘You were right,’ he replied. ‘About a week.’
So he’d been chopping up wood since the day he’d returned, she thought, and forced away the sudden disappointment that came from knowing she’d no longer be able to watch him. How could she, knowing who he was?
Older brother of her best friend. Uncle to the child she carried.
‘Do you know where I’ve been?’
‘The UK?’ He nodded. ‘Yeah, Anja told me you’ve been away for...business.’
‘Clearly that isn’t all she told you,’ he said with a self-deprecating smile.
‘No.’
The smile dimmed. ‘There’s a lot you seem to know about me, Jessica, and yet I haven’t even heard about you.’
‘Does that surprise you?’
‘No.’ A fleeting shadow of pain darkened his features. ‘But I’m back now.’
‘So you are.’
‘And I’d like to have my return start on the right foot.’
Something pulsed in the air between them, but Jess refused to acknowledge it. ‘Yeah, okay. Go for it.’
He smiled at her, and this time it wasn’t laden with emotion. It was an easy, natural smile she imagined he’d give when he saw an old friend, or during his favourite movie. But it sent an unnatural frisson through her body.
‘You should have lunch with me.’
‘No,’ she said immediately.
‘You have somewhere else to be?’
‘No, but—’
‘Then have lunch with me.’
‘No, thank you,’ she said more firmly, hoping none of the panic she felt was evident in her voice. ‘You were...busy before I interrupted.’
‘After what happened, I think I’m done for the day.’
‘I really don’t think I should—�
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‘Please.’ His smile widened and she almost felt faint. ‘I’d like to get to know the woman staying in my sister’s house. The woman who’s clearly a good friend of hers.’ He paused. ‘That’s what I meant by having my return start on the right foot. If you and I are on good terms when Anja gets back...’
The seconds ticked by, and then Jess narrowed her eyes. ‘You’re schmoozing me!’
Surprise captured his features, and then he laughed. A loud, genuine laugh that started at those fantastic abs and went all the way up to his perfect hair. It was fascinating to watch. The even angles of his face were animated with joy, those chocolate-whisky eyes she only now noticed he shared with his sister alight with appreciation.
She’d never been much of a beard woman, but Dylan’s stubble was dissuading her of that belief. She loved that his skin reminded her of oak—not too light, not too dark. And she really loved that he still didn’t have a shirt on, so she could appreciate that colour over hard, defined muscle...
‘If I told you I was, would that make you want to have lunch with me any less than you already do?’ he asked, interrupting her hormone-driven thoughts.
‘Probably.’ She waited. ‘So, are you?’
Now he chuckled. ‘No.’
She tilted her head. Watched him. ‘You’re the CEO of an international engineering company. I’d imagine that requires some measure of intelligence.’
‘You’re saying I’m not intelligent?’
‘Only if you expect me to believe that you’re not trying to...charm me into having lunch with you.’
‘Well, I am taking some time off from work. Perhaps that’s why I’m off my game. Why I’ve made such an unforgivable mistake.’
‘You’re still doing it!’
He smiled. ‘I can’t help it.’
‘Great. It’ll make my refusal so much easier then.’
‘No, wait,’ he said, grabbing her wrist when she turned. He let go when she turned back. Her skin prickled. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just...easier to schmooze than to...earnestly ask you to have lunch with me.’
‘Why do you want to have lunch with me so badly?’
‘You’re Anja’s friend and...and I’d like to show her that I’m serious about coming back to fix things. That’s why I’m here,’ he told her softly. ‘I want to fix what I broke when I left, and if you and I are on good terms...’ He shrugged. ‘I wasn’t lying about that, Jess.’
As Jess studied him she felt herself soften. She hated that she did, but she couldn’t ignore the emotion behind his words. The hope. She also couldn’t ignore how much it spoke to her own desire. The deep, dark one that she would never have admitted aloud to anyone.
That some day her parents would show up for her, just like it seemed Dylan had for Anja. That some day they’d want to fix things with her just as badly as Dylan clearly wanted to with his sister.
It was a stupid hope, one her experiences growing up had taught her not to entertain. But still, it made her want to say yes to Dylan. That, and the desire to prevent the child she carried from growing up in the tension, the brokenness that currently existed in Anja’s family. The same kind of tension and brokenness that Jess had grown up with.
Jess knew Anja was stubborn, and she wouldn’t let the brother who’d left her after their father had died just come strolling back into her life. Not when that brother had broken her heart by leaving. Not when he’d broken his promise to always be there for her.
‘I don’t know why you left, Dylan,’ Jess said softly, ‘or why you didn’t come home for two years. That’s probably none of my business...though what I’m about to ask you falls under that category, too. But...why haven’t you come over to speak with Anja since you got back?’
It was such a long time before he answered that Jess was sure he wouldn’t answer her at all. ‘I didn’t know whether she’d want to see me, and staying away, keeping my mind and body busy with menial tasks...they were all excuses to postpone the inevitably difficult conversation I would have to have with her.’
Surprised by his candour—and more than a little touched—Jess nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘Okay?’
‘Okay,’ she repeated. She waited a beat before she said, ‘You better have enough food to feed a pregnant woman, Dylan.’
* * *
It took Dylan a moment to realise what he’d done. Another to process what he’d said. And even then he wasn’t sure what he was doing. Inviting a woman he barely knew into his home? Offering to make her lunch? Sharing his intention of fixing things with Anja? Hoping that she’d be able to give him some insight into his sister?
It was crazy, but his craziness was dipped in desperation. Desperation because his sister hadn’t spoken to him—not properly—in almost two years. Desperation because his plan to speak with her when he got home wasn’t working.
Because every time he’d wanted to go over to her house to talk with her he’d remembered her face when he’d left. He’d remembered how broken she’d looked, how her voice had cracked when she’d said goodbye.
How he’d left anyway.
And now, when he’d finally told himself he would go to see her that night, it turned out she wasn’t even there.
He was disappointed, and perhaps that had been another reason for his invitation to Jess. But then the desperation, the craziness, the disappointment had landed him a meal with a beautiful woman, so was it really that bad?
Yes, an inner voice answered him. Of course it was. Because though the beautiful woman knew things about his sister that he didn’t know—that he wanted to know—she was also pregnant. Pregnant. Which meant someone had got her pregnant. His eyes searched her hand for a ring, but they didn’t find one.
It sent an absurd surge of hope through him, and he rolled his eyes as he led the way into his house. He bent down when he heard the scurry of paws against the wooden floor and fussed over his Labrador, Daisy, when she came bounding around the corner.
But she quickly lost interest in him and made her way to the woman he’d invited for lunch. Dylan watched as Jess’s face lit up and she lowered—carefully, he saw—before rubbing his dog vigorously. It sent another surge through him, but this time it was warmth. A bubble of warmth that floated from his heart and settled in his belly.
A bubble that abruptly popped when he remembered that no wedding ring didn’t mean that she was available.
And that a baby meant she definitely wasn’t available.
‘Daisy, back,’ he snapped, the words coming out harsher than he’d intended because of his thoughts. The dog gave him a beseeching look but stepped back and sat, and Dylan offered a hand to help Jess up.
‘Sorry about that. She gets a little excited around people.’
He sucked in his breath at the sizzle he felt coming from her hand. Held his breath when the vanilla scent she wore settled in his nose. As soon as she was steady, he broke the contact.
‘Don’t worry. I love dogs.’
‘Do you have any?’
Sadness dulled her eyes. ‘No, my parents weren’t really fans of pets when I was younger. Or children.’ She laughed breathlessly, but he could tell that it was meant to cover up her mistake. She hadn’t meant to tell him that.
Well, that makes two of us, he thought, remembering what he’d told her about coming home. And because of it he didn’t address her slip. Instead, he approached it from a different angle.
‘Why don’t you have any now? Doesn’t your husband want pets either?’
‘No husband.’ She shrugged. ‘I’m just your typical unwed pregnant woman, I guess.’
She didn’t look too bothered by it, which forced him to ignore the hope that stirred inside him again. ‘Somehow I doubt that.’
‘That I’m unwed and pregnant?’
‘That you’re typical.’
‘You barely know me
, Dylan.’
Her eyes met his and it felt as if lightning flashed between them. The seconds ticked by, the current of energy between them grew more intense, but neither of them looked away. Eventually, he said, ‘What are you in the mood to eat?’
A moment passed, and then he could see her force herself to relax. ‘Do you have peanut butter?’
It was such a strange request that it broke the tension he still felt inside him. ‘Yeah, I think so.’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘You want peanut butter? I’m pretty sure there’s something more substantial in the fridge.’
‘Peanut butter is plenty substantial,’ she replied defensively. ‘Especially if you serve it with those bananas over there.’
She nodded to the fruit bowl on his kitchen table, and he felt the smile on his face almost before he even knew it was there. ‘Peanut butter and banana?’
‘Peanut butter and banana,’ she confirmed, and smiled. ‘I tried to warn you about what you were getting into by inviting a pregnant woman for lunch.’
‘Yeah, you did,’ he answered, though he struggled for the words because her smile was so...distracting. As was her face—the smooth curves of its oval shape, the high cheekbones, those cinnamon eyes, the glossy olive of her skin, those generous lips...
Even her hair was distracting. The dark brown strands were clipped back into a messy style that he couldn’t decide whether he liked. Mostly because it made him want to tidy it up. No, he corrected his thoughts immediately. Because it made him want to muss it up even more.
Her clothing was loose, hiding the curve of her stomach. That was why he hadn’t noticed she was pregnant at first—though he’d discovered it pretty quickly, so he couldn’t blame ignorance for the fact that he’d flirted with her.
But he didn’t want to think about what he could blame flirting with her on, so he was glad when she spoke.
‘Who looked after Daisy while you were away?’
‘Actually, I got her in London and then brought her back with me.’
Daisy wagged her tail when he looked over at her and love filled his heart. She’d saved him from depression, from the loneliness of his grief and anger. From his guilt. And she’d needed him in a way that was more simple than he could ever remember being needed.