by Leaona Luxx
Bending slightly, she removes them from her cherry-tipped toes, before leaning in to turn the water on. Hadlea’s calves tighten, and the muscles ripple with the movement. She has solid thighs, all the better to grip around my waist. Full, luscious hips that sway when she’s riding me. Her waist cinches slightly before allowing the swell of her breasts to jut out with perfect nipples tightened to a point.
The hollow of her collarbone, just before her neck, pulses with her heartbeat. Her desire thrums through her, drawing my eyes to her neck, where strands of her strawberry hair twists and tucks in places that I know my lips belong.
I’m drawn like a moth to a flame. My feet move of their own accord to her. Reaching around her waist, I draw her to me. Her back against my front, I pull her tight to me and place my lips on her neck. I begin my ascent up her jawline. Reaching around, I nudge her chin toward me so that I can capture her luscious lips that part as the tip of my tongue runs the seam of them. Her breath huffs out as I invade her mouth; devouring it, owning it, possessing. Her hand runs up my arm, over my shoulder, around my neck, and into my hair as she pulls me closer.
The power this woman has over me has me trembling as I touch her body. I’m falling in love so deeply with her, the thought has me wrecked. The desire that lies just beneath her eyes ignites fire through my veins.
I take her mouth almost violently, and my need to consume her is overwhelming. Hadlea is busy unbuckling my pants, and they fall in a puddle around my ankles. I let her go long enough to drag my shirt off one handed. Returning my hand to her hip, I step from my jeans.
Feeling completely out of control, I push her up against the shower wall as an audible moan escapes her mouth. “Hadlea, I can’t wait. I need you— to be inside of you. To feel you.”
Her whispered response tightens my every muscle, coiled to strike, “Yes.”
Trying to remember her bruises and wounds, I hesitate taking her. She’s anxious, almost nervous. I slowly run my hands up her sides. Shuttering at my touch, I look at her, and she’s crying.
“Baby. We don’t have to do this. I can wait. You should wait.” Holding her close, I place tender kisses on her face. Hadlea presses into me.
“I need you. I need this; please wash it all away. His hands, his lips, his words, the nightmares. Please, Malone, please. I need it gone.”
I’m torn, but I do as Hadlea asks. Picking her up, I press her against the shower wall while her legs wind around me. Slowly, I enter her, as if I’ve never done it before. I stagger at her wantonness.
Hadlea pulls me closer, as I sink deeper. Her thighs clamp around my waist as she runs her hands down my back.
There, in that moment, sunk so deep into her, not knowing where I stop and she begins, I give her everything. With every thrust and drag, I give myself completely. As her heat slides down around me, she clenches and releases me deep within, and our eyes lock as I spill into her.
I meet her release until it begins to run from her. No words are spoken as I allow her to stand. We simply begin to wash one another, reverently. Toweling off, we spend no time finding something to sleep in, as we slide into bed and into one another’s arms.
I lay listening to Hadlea’s breathing slow, entering sleep as quietly as she’s stolen my heart. I can never be without this woman again in life. There will never be anything that she can do or share with me that will cause me not to have her by my side. I want her, forever. I want her as my wife, to be by my side for eternity.
As I think it, angst suffocates my heart. Dread and fear creep in from the dark corners of my mind. Will she allow it? Hadlea has so many tormentors keeping her from accepting how truly amazing she is.
She deserves a love of a lifetime. One found in fairytales or at least a killer romance novel. She merits more than I can give her. I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try with everything in me to love her like no other man on earth loves a woman. I’m going to love her enough, it covers every sin and ugliness she hides. Loving her until she can love herself.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Lea
I must admit, waking in his arms felt amazing. I don’t want to move but I need to stretch after the most restful night’s sleep I’ve ever had. Tilting my head slightly so I can see his perfectly squared jaw, my eyes race to see his.
Panic races through me as his face comes to view, making me scramble across the bed. Tangled in sheets, pillows flip in every direction as I scream.
Bolting to a sitting position, I barely recognize my own voice as his hands find me. I instinctively fight them off, swinging and elbowing my way out of his hold, finally hearing his voice.
“Hadlea. Baby, it’s okay. It’s Malone. Wake up. Please, baby, wake up and look at me.”
Malone’s soothing voice breaks through, as he coaxes me to calm. Focusing on his face, he looks as if someone has died. I think I have. He begins to kiss my face as he moves my hair that’s sticking to the tears and sweat which have collected on me.
“You’re good, baby. See, it’s just me. You and me, baby. No one else. No one’s here but you and me.”
Holding me in his arms, I sink in… safe. He slowly pulls me in his lap, and I fall into his chest, needing the respite. I mindlessly trace his tattoos along his arm hoping to regain full control and focus.
What the fuck? Damn nightmares. Malone leans my whole body back in his arms, looking into the depths of my eyes, searching.
“Hey, baby, there’s my girl.”
Touching his lips in sweet, tender kisses to the tip of my nose. A sob breaks through rumbling up from the hell burning in the center of my soul. He sits, holding me close once again, soothing me as best he can until I regain composure. Never asking why or what, just holding me as if I’m about to disappear.
Later that morning, I’m sitting in the sunroom when Malone approaches me. This man is unreal. He’s perfect.
“Hey there, what’cha doing?”
Taking the seat beside me, he takes my hand, slowly making a circular pattern on the back.
“Enjoying what’s left of the morning. Are you leaving?”
A frown mars his beautiful face. “I was going to run down to the office, do you want me to stay? If you have things to do, I can call you later.” His frown deepens.
Oh, this perfect, gorgeous man is trying to field the land mines of my soul. Not able to stop myself, I begin to giggle as his frown deepens, if at all possible.
“What is it, Hadlea?”
Pinching my features up, I stifle my giggles. “Nothing, Malone, I’m fine. I do have some things to do, some errands. I just assumed you’d be working today, so I planned to do them, that’s all. I’m not getting rid of you or saying you can’t come back.” He visibly relaxes but it’s still there, etched across his face— concern.
He should be, I am.
“Sounds good. I should go but didn’t want to leave you. You sure you’ll be all right? I can drive you, let you do whatever you need.”
No way is he staying. I need to do this on my own. “I’m good. I can call one of the girls if I need.”
Besides, all hell will break loose if I don’t. Fucking dream.
***
Walking through the door, I enter the metal detector. My nerves are about to get the better of me. The officer eyes me closely while waving me through. I hate doing this, but I have no other choice. I have to face Cole.
I’m greeted by the Victims of Domestic Violence officer. She gives me directions about the meeting and its procedure. I’m hoping this time will be the end, but I know Cole. A shudder runs down my spine.
Sitting at a metal table in the center of the room, Cole is shackled to tethers on the floor with handcuffs. I feel relatively safe. At the request of the victim, many state and local detention centers will allow a meeting with the convict.
I requested mine while Malone showered this morning. Like it or not, this has to happen. Malone would shit if he knew. Cole sits with a smirk on his face as I drop in the seat across from
him.
“Hey, Haddie girl, knew you couldn’t stay away. Now be a good whore and tell these people how you’ve lied, so they can release me.”
Fear, anger, embarrassment, resentment, and vomit fill me. “Not a fucking chance.”
“Afraid your boy will get pissed when he finds out how well you fucked me before his sister assaulted me? We were just about to go at it again when she hit me.”
Bile fills my mouth, as nausea comes in waves. Running to the trash can, I empty the breakfast Malone had made for us. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, gathering myself. Fuck this, he thinks he has me. Returning to my seat, I lean in ever so slightly.
“Cole, I haven’t told anyone. They haven’t even charged you with rape. Although, we both know full well you raped me and were about to do it again. Now, be happy your charges don’t consist of more.”
Nodding as he leans closer. “Haddie girl, no one will ever believe a whore. Surely you’ve learned that by now? Tell me what the fuck you want, bitch.”
Cringing at his words, bile rises once again. “I want to make sure we’re on the same page concerning this, the fact that you raped me. It stays between us, understood?” He shakes his head, and I know it’s a done deal. He is going to tell it.
“No fucking way. It’s my defense, and you were stringing me along. Drove me crazy with love and lust. That’s why I did what I did.” As he sits there smiling, he finishes. “You didn’t get a rape kit. There’s no proof, and with our past, it’s done. Why the fuck do they think I burned his fucking building down? Did you tell them I did it?”
My vision blurs. I’m going to lose Malone. He’s going to think I cheated… think I planned this with Cole. Know that Cole has been inside me. Malone will be humiliated because of me. What the fuck have I brought on him? As tears spill their confines and run down my face, Cole finishes me.
“What the fuck? You fucking cunt, you love him. Do you think he loves you? Do you think he will, when he finds out you fucked me?”
Rage washes over me, and I lunge at him across the table. No ladies, I didn’t scratch him. Just as the guards enter, I land one solid punch dead center. Blood splatters everywhere.
“You fucking raped me. You have fucking raped me since I was fifteen, and you will not have any more fucking power over me,” I yell while tears roll down my face. Pulling me away from Cole, the officers tend to him. He spits on me as they try to put distance between us and the others enter the room. Fuck.
***
I watch as Aksel enters the prison doors to the waiting area. I called him, not wanting Malone to find out.
Aksel and I meet with the Victims of Domestic Violence officer, and the Assistant Prosecuting Attorney. Cole knew they recorded everything but didn’t care, he just wanted me to admit we had been together, thinking it would help his case.
I’ve never stood up to him before. Most definitely never told him to his face he raped me for years. After the prosecutor watches the video, she decides not to press charges against me because of my body’s violent reaction to Cole’s words.
My unwavering words that he had raped me was proof enough to all who witnessed. Smiling as she left, she was happy to say I’d broken his nose.
Cole’s adamant denial of torching One’s hotel burned in my ears. Cole never denied anything in his life. He could’ve used it to scare me but he didn’t, so what happened to it?
Aksel reaches me and hauls me in for a hug. “Mom, why did you come here?”
I hug him hard as I kiss his cheek and step away. “I’m fine. I needed to stand up for myself. I didn’t intend on breaking his nose while I was here.”
The officials suggested I have someone drive me home, being a complete mess, since the meeting. Em came with Aksel, so she could drive the other car home.
I shower to remove Cole’s blood from me, I toss my clothes in the trash. I walk out to the sunroom with a shot of bourbon to calm my nerves, just as Malone rushes through the door.
“What the fuck, Hadlea? Why would you go see that motherfucker?”
Stunned, I’m rooted to the spot. I can’t speak. Malone knows and he still came. I crumble to the floor as he meets me there, putting his arms around me and holding me, protecting me.
“The fucking dream. It was the fucking dream. Why?” Frozen from shock and confusion, I stay seated. “Hadlea, please talk to me. Tell me something.”
My voice returns in a whisper. “How did you know?”
“Does it matter?” Realization dawns. “You didn’t want me to know.”
Gathering myself enough to stand up, I put some distance between us, as I cross the room to pour another shot. I was never a drinker, once in a while to relax but today I’m going to pretend to be an expert. Or so I thought.
“Why are you drinking so damn much? What happened? Tell me. Please put that shit down; you don’t drink.”
Anyone else would have me fight. but there is enough bad news for Malone, so I let him do his thing. “I needed to see him. They called from the VDV office and asked me if I wanted to meet with him. I contemplated it for a few days before I called to make the appointment. Cole told them we were a couple at one point. He denied the fire. And I broke his nose.” He stares at me as if we had never met before.
“You broke his nose? Why? Why did you feel the need to go?”
I take a deep breath to finish. To tell him the entire truth. It’s time he knows what exactly happened that night. If I haven’t lost him to this point, I’m sure to lose him now.
“I don’t know. I was afraid he would tell stuff about me and him. Concerned it would hurt you. Hurt the boys. Your family. I just did. How did you find out?” Looking at him while he looks me over as if I’m the one hurt.
“My attorney. The assistant DA called him after she left to say they may need to drop the arson charges.”
Shaking my head, I can’t believe what I’m about to say. “Cole denies the fire. I don’t know what to think. Honor among thieves, but he tells it if he does it. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you. I should have told you everything.”
“It’s all right, Hadlea. I would’ve preferred to have been there for you. I couldn’t care less about the fire. It’s covered. But Jennings said the assistant DA implied he would not be getting out. Something about evidence of another crime. Do you know anything about this?”
Fuck. Here it is. I have to tell him. I need to tell him. Looking in his eyes, I know it’s the right thing to do. But instead, I drop my eyes. Picking at an imaginary piece of lint on my shirt, to make sure the lies behind my eyes are kept there. I shake my head. Malone smothers me with his big arms and holds me. How the hell did I get here?
***
As day breaks, I’m wrapped in Malone. His entire body cocoons me. I’m hot. Moving as slowly as possible, I wiggle free. I have breakfast cooking as Malone enters the room.
“Are you sneaking away from me?”
Turning my sweet impish grin on, I walk to him. We meet in the middle as we lavish one another with kisses.
“Well, good morning. I assume you’re feeling better?”
His words hit the air at the same time the aroma of the bacon wafts through. Sprinting to the bathroom, I projectile vomit. Yes, I vomit after kissing the most gorgeous man ever. Fist pump.
Malone is by my side immediately, twisting my hair away from my face. I toss everything, yet he continues to sit with me until I’m soaked in sweat.
“The bacon,” I manage to say, while moving to lie on the cool tile of the hall bath.
“I got it, baby. I didn’t realize you were getting sick, so I went that way. Once I heard you, I turned it off. Do you feel better?” He presses a cool, wet washcloth to my neck while I lay there, waiting for the room to stop spinning.
“Yeah, I guess. My stomach has been a mess lately— nerves I’m sure.” Rising to sit, I look to the shower.
“You want a shower, baby?”
I nod but don’t attempt to move. Malone goes over to the t
ub and begins running a bath for me. My penance for being dishonest.
“Let me help you. You take your time and I’ll finish breakfast. Maybe, no more drinking? I’m thinking it has you off.”
He helps me out of my clothes and places me in the tub and slowly helps wash my back as I relax. “There you go. I’ll get busy on breakfast.” He places a sweet kiss on my forehead.
“Thank you,” I reply as I lean into his lips.
“For?”
Craning my neck, my eyes stare into his. “Taking care of me. Thank you.”
He tilts his head wearing my favorite expression, as he takes in the moment. I’m thinking he’s about to say ‘you’re welcome’ when he replies, “Why wouldn’t I? You deserve to be taken care of.” And he’s out the door. Hell. What am I going to do?
The next few days’ progress the same way. Malone’s getting hounded by the media, he goes home then runs down the beach to my house, so he’s undetected.
Our nights are long in each other’s arms— talking, laughing, and just being together. I’m falling head over heels, and I know it’s the worst thing I can do. I have one huge lie that will change everything.
By weeks’ end, I decide to tell him. If I have to lose him, I can’t afford losing myself any more than I already have, so my mind is made up.
But as always, we move faster than the speed of light, and Malone comes bulldozing through the door.
“What the fuck, Hadlea?” He slams the local newspaper on the bed.
I sit up, reaching for it. Malone is reeling, grabbing it again before I can.
“What? You want to see this, what’s in here? For some reason, perhaps the fact your face is distorted, I think you know what’s in it. So tell me, Hadlea, what’s in the paper. What’s written in black and white for all the world to see, that you haven’t told me about? What the fuck is it, Hadlea?”
Malone is furious. I curl in on myself. Tears cascade down my face, and there’s no wiping them fast enough.