She dived again, this time heading slightly out to sea; she couldn’t be far.…and then she saw her. She saw her floating just below the surface her face hidden by the lapping waves, her yellow bathers acting as a beacon. She grabbed her by the waist and made for the shoreline and to Ruari, who was suddenly ahead.
She was so still, so pale, so cold lying there on the edge of the shore. Ruari had taken charge, he needed to.
The ambulance siren could be heard in the distance, the paramedics racing towards them. Standing back to let them take over she found herself apart, waves of sadness catching her in their greedy grasp and threatening to engulf her. She dropped where she stood, her knees buckling under the pressure of her grief. She couldn’t stop thinking about how much the old lady had looked like her gran. So much so it could have been her they’d lifted onto the stretcher and wheeled up the short ramp into the ambulance. Her thoughts continued to overtake everything else - it didn’t matter the sun was still doing its best to beat rays of warmth against her skin - she felt as if she’d never be warm again.
Unexpectedly she found herself being enfolded gently in a pair of strong arms. With a little sigh of defeat she closed her eyes and allowed herself the luxury of giving herself up to the security of his embrace. For the first time in months she felt her limbs relax as they moulded themselves to his.
After what seemed like hours but must have only been seconds he eased back gently, still encircling her.
‘Grainne, you’re freezing. The ambulance is about to leave and I’ll follow right behind.’
‘B…But I’m fine.’ She blinked, the sun suddenly bright against her eyes.
‘Listen to your doctor; I don’t want another patient on my hands.’
‘But you’re not my doctor.’
‘Don’t talk semantics. Now go. I’ll be right behind in the car. Just go.’ He repeated, helping her back onto her feet and leading her towards the ambulance.
The paramedics were kindness itself on the trip back to St Justin’s.
One of the men continued to monitor the old woman’s condition while the other rooted out the flask of coffee left over from lunch and poured her a mug. When the ambulance’s seemingly endless journey came to a halt she jerked to her senses in time to see Aiden and Ruari jumping up the couple of steps to help with the trolley. She found herself being taken by the arm and led to the staff changing room before being pushed in the direction of the shower.
Hours later Grainne sat on the end of her bed rhythmically brushing her hair until it crackled with electricity. At least she was going to be alright. Mrs Benn, yes that was her name, she remembered, the brush hovering over a particularly aggressive knot. She went swimming every day rain or shine, summer or winter even when the doctor had warned her to be careful now she’d recently been diagnosed with angina - just her luck to have an attack half way through her swim. Of course she’d have to stay in hospital for a few days and perhaps curtail her swimming to the local pool but all in all it could have been worse. Her hand stilled briefly, before continuing its rhythmic brushing.
What a crap ending to an even crappier day. She couldn’t have planned a crappier day if she’d tried. Okay so the wedding was lovely, that is until she’d seen the bride wearing her dress. What hurt the most of course, apart from the memories was the fact Sorcha had looked an awful lot better in it than she ever could.
Ruari must have guessed something was up and was kindness itself -
She recalled his words.
Grainne what’s the matter?
How could she tell him that she was damaged goods? No, that wasn’t the right word, but it would have to do – it was all she could come up with. The only thing she could remember was the way he’d looked at her, his eyes crinkled with concern.
She let the brush fall to the floor with a gentle thud before flopping against the pillow. She couldn’t remember the last time Simon had looked at her with concern. Oh sure she could certainly remember other emotions that had flicked across his face: annoyance, boredom and finally that last time anger because she wouldn’t let him move into the cottage.
She stared at the bare room. She stared at the top of her chest of drawers empty except for the essentials. So unlike the cottage, brimming full of memories from her first haircut, her first day at school and that last photo of her and gran on her eightieth birthday with a cake as big as a castle - a cake that neither of them would get to taste. But to be desired by someone she’d just met, well that gave her hope. Perhaps there was a glimmer of daylight at the end of the tunnel. So what if she wasn’t in the market for a relationship, even the no strings attached one night stand type that apparently Ruari favoured. He had done more for her over the last two weeks than any of her friends had been able to do since Simon had walked out. The image of his eyes lingering on her face like a caress caused her lips to curve, that is until she suddenly remembered she’d have to face him again on Monday.
It was all very well refusing unwanted attentions; it wouldn’t be the first time but she’d never had to do it with a colleague. Back in Cork everyone knew she was Simon’s from nearly day one and had left her alone. But here? Here she was on her own and she would have to deal with Ruari if he wouldn’t take no for an answer. She flicked off the light switch before lying on top of the bed, her head sinking back against the pillow with a sudden aching tiredness at the thought of Monday and what it might bring. Tomorrow she was planning a day in bed with the latest Nora Roberts and as much chocolate as she could find. Surely Monday couldn’t be as bad? There was no way she was going to allow herself fall under the spell of his gaze, she had already been there with Simon and had more scars to last a lifetime. But when eventually she rolled on her side and slipped into sleep it was the image of Ruari and not Simon that was mirrored against her eyelids.
Chapter Seventeen
‘Grainne there’s an admission in Bay Seven; do you think you can handle it on your own?’ Aiden said, his hand already reaching out for the phone to bleep the orthopaedic surgeon.
Grainne, glancing up from her paperwork caught the frown etched across his face. It was only 11 o’clock and they’d already had to deal with an RTA where a school bus had ploughed into the side of a wall, luckily only causing minor injuries amongst the twenty or so children. But the noise and chaos of having to check each little body thoroughly for signs of head injury, fractures and lacerations not to mention matching distraught parents to their unusually subdued offspring had set the atmosphere for the day. No sooner had they shipped the last one off to have a cast applied to his forearm than the phone rang to alert them to the next ambulance.
‘That’s fine, I’ll holler if I get stuck.’ She answered, standing up from the swivel chair.
‘You do that, although I’m sure you can manage. You seem to have the staff eating out of your hands, and you’ve only been here five minutes.’ He parried. ‘Anyway I’ll probably be still here waiting for Mr Smythe to answer his bleep.’
Crossing the floor she could just see Ruari through the gaping curtain in resus. She watched fascinated as, with laryngoscope poised he started to pass a tube into some poor blighter’s mouth – she shut her eyes in an effort to block out the image of him bending over the head of the bed, his thick muscle bound shoulders straining against his scrubs. But even with her eyes shut she could recall, nearly strand for strand the way his hair was ruthlessly pushed off his brow. With a little shake of her head she hurried across to her latest patient.
In her lunch break she took the opportunity to race up to ITU to see Mrs Benn. Surrounded by relatives she only stayed a minute to make sure she was recovering before ambling her way across to Men’s Medical.
Mr McDade’s bruises had started to turn a lovely shade of pale green reminiscent of having gone twelve rounds in the ring. He was sitting out of bed in a bright red and green tartan dressing gown sipping on a mug of tea.
She knelt beside him, taking his hand within hers. ‘Hello Norm, no biscuits today?’
‘No, they’ve run out of digestives – there’s nothing like a digestive and rich tea just don’t do it for me.’
‘Did you want me to…?’
No, no luv.’ He patted her hand. ‘You and that nice Doctor have done enough.’
‘Doctor?’ She felt her cheeks warm, but just ignored it. Norm’s glasses were lying on top of yesterday’s newspaper so he probably wouldn’t notice anyway.
‘Yes, you know – the young lad that admitted me.’ He pinned her with his sharp gaze. ‘Lovely chap that, he’s going to make some lucky lady a very good husband.’
‘Yes, well…’ She stood up and stretched. ‘I’d better get back before I’m missed. I’ll pop in later with the paper and some of those boiled sweets you like.’
She turned to go, only to pause at the sound of her name.
‘Grainne, you will come and visit me I hope? That man of yours managed to get them to keep me for an extra week in order to get me one of those new flats on the South Circular Road.’ He rubbed his hand against his bristly chin. ‘I’m being discharged tomorrow and I won’t know anyone.’
‘Of course I will Norm – we’re friends right?’ She leant down and placed a brief kiss against his forehead. ‘I’ll be up later.’
Making her way off the ward she was unprepared for the sight of Ruari leaning against the nurses station, a pile of notes in his hand.
‘Ah so this is where you got to.’
She looked at him with a frown. ‘You wanted me for something – I’m just heading back.’
‘Well you still haven’t paid up you know.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Excuse me?’ She started to walk past, heading for the stairs.
‘No, I’m not letting you off that easily.’ He followed her, hitching up the notes more firmly under his elbow. ‘You didn’t strike me as a girl to break a promise.’
She paused, flinging him a startled look before noticing the time on her fob watch. ‘Look, I don’t have time for this now.’
Okay, later then – at the entrance – five pm.’
She didn’t want a lift home. In fact she could think of nothing worse, but she didn’t have time to argue; something he was well aware of if the smug look on his face was anything to go by. Instead she nodded her head before nearly running all the way back to the department.
She halted by the pale blue floral curtain, taking in the scene with one all-encompassing glance. Huddled into as small a space as possible on the hard metal trolley was a young girl no more than fifteen, her dirty blond hair lying in tangles over one shoulder. Aiden joined her and, pulling her to one side gave her a quick handover.
‘This is Jasmine Fisher, fourteen years old with suspected appendicitis. She’s been seen by Dr Saunders and group and cross matched. We’re just waiting for her parents to arrive with consent.’
Grainne just nodded her head, all of her attention focused on the girl in front of her who, for some reason was doing a good job of hiding behind all that hair. Her eyes scrolled over her inert body, mentally crossing off the answers to many of the questions flicking across her mind. It didn’t need a doctor to tell her Jasmine was suffering from severe pain and anxiety. The way she pulled at her hair, the way her nails were bitten down to the quick, the way her eyes turned to the wall - avoiding everything but a poster of The Minions hanging above the sink. The pain could be explained away if her appendix was grumbling but the anxiety…?
Before she could approach a large worried looking woman, squeezed into a florescent green mini dress two sizes too small caught her attention.
‘Jasmine love - what’s wrong? The school phoned to let me know you’d been rushed in.’ Grainne watched on as the girl turned away still clutching her stomach.
‘Just go away mum, I don’t want you here,’ her voice less than a whisper.
‘But Jasmine….’ She caught Grainne’s eye. ‘What’s happening, why won’t she talk to me….?’
Grainne masked her worries by changing her expression into what she liked to call her cool professional look - being as it was a great improvement on the ‘I haven’t got a clue what’s going on with this one’ look it replaced.
‘It’s all right Mrs Fisher. Jasmine is in a lot of pain but we’re going to sort it out. Now why don’t you wait outside and get a cuppa while I round up the doctor to give her some painkillers.’ She led her out towards the coffee machine and then towards the chairs situated in sight of the receptionist. ‘I’ll come and get you as soon as the doctor comes, I promise.’
On the way back she noticed Ruari strolling back into the office, coffee in one hand and a pile of biscuits in the other.
‘It’s alright for some!’ She threw him a brief smile. ‘Do me a favour, will you? There’s a fourteen year old girl called Jasmine Fisher in triage with suspected appendicitis but I don’t know, there’s something not right.’ She watched the smile freeze on his face, but she continued anyway. She always put her patients before protocol, they could sack her later. ‘I’m going to talk to her without the mum but could you check to see if she’s had a pregnancy test?’
She stole a glance at his face but it was still expressionless. It wasn’t part of a nurse’s remit to challenge doctors as to what they had or hadn’t done, but she was hoping he’d do this one favour – it was important.
‘Who’s she assigned to?’ He questioned.
‘Dr Saunders.’ She answered, before turning and heading back behind the curtains, hoping against hope he was going to the nearest computer terminal.
As she walked into the cubicle she noticed the hastily averted face stained with fresh tears.
Had she looked like that, was it only three months ago? It felt like a different lifetime.
She was at a loss as to how to play this. All she knew was she had to gain this girl’s confidence just as she knew she only had one chance to get it right - Jasmine looked as if she could do with all the friends she could get. Rather than approach the trolley she picked up the obs chart and walked up to the heart monitor machine to check her blood pressure. If she could just act nonchalantly perhaps she’d confide in her.
‘Alright Jasmine? Sorry about the trolley, they don’t come in soft. But we’ll soon have you transferred onto a softer bed. Your blood pressure is doing fine now so we just need to get you sorted.’ She glanced out from the corner of her eye to see Jasmine peering at her from under her fringe.
‘At least you’ll be getting a few days off school. I’m new here, which school are you at?’
‘St Christopher’s.’
‘Do you have any friends you’d like me to contact, perhaps someone special?’
‘Me mam…’
‘There’s no one you wouldn’t prefer me to contact?’ She added, leaning on the work station and pretending to update her notes, all her attention focused towards the girl still curled up into a little ball. ‘I still have a couple of friends I never told anyone about. What about a boyfriend?’ She looked up and caught her staring back, her eyes as huge as saucers.
‘Oh don’t tell me ma, she doesn’t know about….’ Her voice tailed off.
Grainne sat down on the edge of the trolley and reaching out pulled her gently into the circle of her arms.
‘It’s alright Jasmine, it‘ll be alright.’ She said over and over again, rhythmically stroking the matted head pressing itself into her neck.
‘Please, don’t tell me ma,’ she finally repeated.
Grainne paused, before easing her back gently.
‘Jasmine, you have to speak to someone. Will you speak to me?’ She noticed the almost invisible nod of her head.
Taking her cold hands within her own she asked, ‘when did you last have a period?’
There was a long pause. ‘I’ve only missed one and then this morning it came.’
She saw the curtain twitching and held up her hand when she saw who it was - she had to continue, no matter what he thought about it.
‘This morning was it the same crampy
kind of pain or was it much worse - as if someone was twisting a knife in your belly?’
‘How did you know? I thought I was pregnant. Oh what will me mam say?’ She wailed. ‘And then this morning I thought I was wrong but I wasn’t was I? Have I lost it?’
‘Nurses know most things, but not everything.’
Her heart went out to her. What an uphill struggle she had ahead. There was the possibility of a miscarriage to come to terms with, not to mention her parents and boyfriend. There was only so much she could do as a nurse, but she was determined to do it all the same.
‘Look Jasmine. I’m not a doctor but there’s a really good one outside I’d like you to let examine you. Will you let him help you?’
Jasmine nodded slightly before asking. ‘What am I to tell me mam?’
‘You don’t have to tell her anything at the moment. She obviously loves you very much and even the best of us get it wrong sometimes.’ Grainne turned and beckoned to Ruari.
‘I’m just going to get a glass of water.’ She said, almost running in the direction of the staff kitchen.
Reaching the privacy of the empty room she leaned over the sink to try and regain some sense of composure. She couldn’t leave them for more than a couple of minutes - really she shouldn’t have left them at all but she needed to gather her wits together: There was still the mother to face.
She’d thought she had no more tears left but they started to crowd her throat as memories flooded back: firstly the memory of joy at finding those two little blue lines.
Telling Simon was always going to be difficult. They’d only made love once after all and that at his insistence. A little part of her was worried he wouldn’t believe her, but only a little part. They hadn’t talked about children, but that didn’t matter. They’d just do what other couples did in the same position - get on with it!
Girl Descending (Irish Girl, Hospital Romance 2) Page 9