“This is the most difficult part of my job. It’s hard losing people we love.” He kissed her tenderly on the forehead.
“I wish I’d talked to him one more time. Told him I loved him one more time. I feel so . . . empty.” She let out a long, mournful breath.
“He knew you loved him.” Peter held her close. “No doubt about that.”
“My heart hurts so much.”
Peter guided her over to the couch and they sat. He put his arm around her, and Hailey snuggled into him, needing the comfort he offered. Hailey lost track of how long they sat there.
Finally, she said, “I thought he was going to get better. That he’d get back to his old self. I didn’t think he’d die. I mean, I knew it was a possibility, but I didn’t think it’d actually happen.”
Peter stroked her hand, but didn’t say anything.
“I thought I’d come here and help, then leave when things were back to normal. I thought it might take a month or so, but I figured he’d be better, and they’d both go on living for years.” She shook her head. “I should’ve stayed here with them tonight. Maybe if I’d been here . . .”
“You can’t do that to yourself.” Peter said. “You can’t second guess what you do.”
“But maybe I could’ve saved him.” If she’d been thinking about her grandparents instead of herself, Gramps might still be alive.
“I’ve learned in my career that I can’t play the What-If game. I have to treat people the best I can and live the best I can and then trust God to take care of the rest.”
“I feel so sad.” Sad didn’t seem to adequately convey the depth of her sorrow.
“Harry was a good man and he lived a good life.”
Hailey sat up and wiped at her face. “What do we do now?”
“You’ll need to make arrangements for the funeral.”
A waterfall of tears splashed down her cheeks, and she slumped back against the couch. “I can’t even think about this.”
“I’m here to help in any way I can.”
Peter was so kind and caring. He was a port in this unexpected storm, and she was grateful for his strength. “Thank you. I appreciate you being here. It makes me feel better.”
Hailey leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. The next thing she knew, her eyelids flew open, and she was lying on the couch with a blanket tucked around her. Peter was on the floor, his head propped up on one of the couch pillows. Early morning light was streaming through the window and it all hit her again with the force of a speeding truck. Gramps is gone.
Warm tears slipped down her face and onto the pillow. Today was going to be hard, but she had to be strong for Gran, who needed her more than ever now.
Hailey glanced down at Peter. He looked so peaceful sleeping there. Her heart was touched that he’d spent his night trying to comfort her. He was a good man. The kind of man she could love for a long time to come. She shook that thought free. Gran needed all of Hailey’s attention and focus right now.
Hailey went to the bathroom and splashed cool water on her face. Her bloodshot eyes stared back at her from the mirror. She had so much to do, including calling her mom and letting her know. And what about Regina? Hailey should find her and tell her, even though Regina was the last person she wanted to find. Under any other circumstances, Regina could stay gone forever, but Hailey knew the right thing to do was to find her aunt.
Hailey tiptoed down the hall and peeked in on Gran, who was still sleeping. What would Gran do? Would she keep living here? Go somewhere else? Maybe go to her sister’s house? Or back to Colorado? Too many unanswered questions rolled around her throbbing head.
When Hailey returned to the living room, Peter was awake and sitting on the couch. He stood. “How are you?” he asked, his eyes full of empathy.
“Still trying to process everything.” Hailey ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m sorry I fell asleep. I didn’t mean for you to have to stay.”
“I wanted to.”
“But you probably have appointments today.”
“I do.” He nodded. “But I can cancel them.”
“No.” Hailey held out her hands. She couldn’t ask him to give up work. Besides, she needed to focus on her grandmother. “You should go to work. It’ll be fine.”
He peered at her with compassion. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She wasn’t sure she could handle this at all, but somehow she had to.
“Would it be all right if I came back after work to check on you?”
“I’d like that.” Actually, I’d love that.
Peter smoothed his hair and adjusted the collar of his shirt. He made his way to the front door. “I’ll see you later.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Peter rolled down his window as he drove. The already too-hot morning air blew through the car. His heart was heavy—he’d miss Harry. True, Harry had been a bit cantankerous at times, but he always had a smile and a way about him that made Peter miss his own grandpa. He hated this part of his job and tried not to get too attached, but he’d failed with Harry. And not just failed, but failed miserably.
Then there was Hailey. He’d been attracted to her from the minute he met her. That attraction had grown as he’d gotten to know her and spent time with her. She made him laugh and feel something he hadn’t in an exceedingly long time—something he’d worried he’d never feel again. It was a connection that went deeper than physical attraction.
He shook his head. “But her life is in Colorado.” The words sounded hollow as they left his mouth. Peter didn’t want to lose this chance with a woman that he could see a future with. Though he hadn’t known her long, he’d spent enough time with her to know she was the kind of woman he wanted to build a life with. And share a home with. And a white picket fence with kids’ toys strewn all over the lawn.
But maybe that was only a fantasy. Maybe reality was that women left. Sara left him and now Hailey would too—for different reasons, but the outcome was still the same. He’d be left alone. Again.
Perhaps it was better this way. He could get out before he was in too deep. Get back to focusing on his career and his plans to start his own practice. He had a good life. A great life, as a matter of fact. He didn’t need a woman to complete it. He was happy.
Except he wasn’t.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Shortly after Peter left, Hailey heard Gran sobbing in her bedroom. She knocked on the door, “Gran?”
“Come in,” came the shaky voice.
Hailey took two strides to Gran’s bed and sat next to her.
“I keep thinking that if only I’d checked on him sooner. Or stayed there next to him. Maybe he’d still be here.”
“You can’t blame yourself.” Hailey desperately wanted to take the anguish from Gran, but she knew she couldn’t.
“I’m not ready to let him go. I’m not ready for it to be all over.” Gran gazed past Hailey. “It seems like yesterday that I met him. He was such a handsome fella with his dark hair and big muscles. We fell in love deeply and passionately. Before I knew it, we were married and had your daddy and Regina. All-around American family—that was us. We were so happy.” Gran smiled, lost in her memories. “Seems like I went to bed one night with my kids underfoot and woke up the next morning to an empty nest.” She let out a long breath. “Of course, we had our ups and downs, but Harry, he was always there. My rock, that man.” Her voice was filled with emotion. “When we lost your daddy,” she paused, “that was a hard one. But your grandpa, he held me together, so we could be there for you girls and your Momma.”
“I remember.” Memories of the days and weeks after her father’s death were inseparably connected to memories of her grandparents showering her and Brit with plenty of love and attention.
“He wasn’t perfect—nobody is—but he was mine.” Gran’s lip quivered.
“And he loved you.” Hailey took Gran’s hand in hers, trying not to succumb to crying herself. “He loved all of
us.”
“Now he’s gone and left me a widow. And your daddy’s gone.” She wiped at her puffy eyes. “I still have Regina, I suppose, but she doesn’t want much to do with me.” Gran cast her gaze downward.
“You have me.” Hailey rubbed Gran’s back.
“Gran patted her hand. “You’re so sweet, but you have your own life. You’ve already done so much, and you need to get back to your career.”
Gran was right, Hailey did need to return home for her job. She couldn’t simply walk away from a career she’d worked so hard to procure, but how could she leave Gran like this? Her life, and her mom and sister, were in Colorado, yet Gran needed her more now than ever. An idea came to mind. “What if you came back to Colorado and lived with me? You’d be close to Mom and Brit. I’d love to have you live with me.”
“That’s a generous offer, but you don’t need an old lady cramping your style.”
Hailey had to laugh. “Cramp my style? I don’t think I have a style for you to cramp.”
“You know what I mean.” Gran nodded. “You’re young and vibrant and need to live your life without worrying about me.”
“I can’t leave you here,” Hailey insisted.
“Let’s not talk about this right now, it’s too much.” Gran rubbed her eyes. “I do need your help with something.”
“Anything.”
“Regina needs to know that he’s passed, but I don’t know how to find her.” Gran lifted her hands in exasperation. “She leaves with no way to contact her.”
“I’m sure she’d want to be here.” At a time like this, family needed to bond together and support each other.
Gran let out a woeful breath.
“I’ll see if I can find her somehow.” Hailey had no idea how she might do that, but she wanted to offer Gran some hope.
Gran reached over and grasped Hailey’s hand tightly. “If this had to happen, I’m so grateful it was when you were here. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you!”
“You need to get some more rest.” She squeezed Gran’s arm. “I’ll take care of everything. Okay?”
Gran nodded.
Hailey left the bedroom and sank down on the couch in the living room. She didn’t even know where to begin, but she had to figure it out, so Gran wouldn’t have to deal with all the details.
In all the chaos of the night, and then the late hour, Hailey had neglected to call her mom. She probably should’ve called her right away, but she’d been so focused on Gran. Besides, she was a mess herself and needed Peter to just hold her. Pulling out her phone, Hailey tapped the screen to call her mom.
“Hi, honey.” Her mom sounded sleepy.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” Two-hour time difference, remember?
“It’s fine. How are you?” Her mom yawned.
“Not good.”
“Oh no.” Her mom perked up. “Has something happened?”
Tears trickled down Hailey’s cheeks. “Gramps passed away last night.”
Her mom gasped. “Oh, dear. I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“I wanted to call you,” Hailey said, feeling guilty she hadn’t. “But it was so late and—”
“Don’t worry at all about that. How is June?” She could hear the concern in her mom’s voice.
“Heartbroken. We didn’t expect this at all.” The shock still covered her like a lead blanket.
“I thought he was recovering.”
“We did too.” That was supposed to be what happened—Gramps recovered and Hailey went home.
“I’ll book a flight as soon as I can.”
“Mom, I have no idea what to do to get started.” Turmoil set in. “I told Gran I’d take care of it, but I’m lost.” She didn’t want to adult today. Adulting was vastly overrated at times.
“First, call the mortuary. You’ll need to make some decisions. June needs to decide where to have the funeral.”
“I can’t ask her that.” Hailey bit her quivering lip. “She’ll be too sad.”
“It’s difficult to make decisions right now, but someone needs to make them. Maybe you can give her some choices.” For the first time, it struck Hailey with a jagged pain that her own mom had to go through all of this years ago, and her heart swelled with love and compassion for her mom.
“I just can’t believe Gramps is gone.” Hailey still couldn’t wrap her mind around it.
“I’m thankful you were there for the last month.”
“Me too. I am so, so glad I came when I did.” So glad. What if she hadn’t stood up to Mr. Michaels? What if she’d stayed in Colorado and missed out on this time with Gramps? Tears filled her eyes and fell down her cheeks as she realized how fragile life is and how easily she could’ve missed out on the last days of Gramps’s life in favor of her career—a career she loved, but one that hasn’t filled all the empty places. Family is the most important and should come first.
“Let me know what to do to help.”
“I will. Thanks, Mom.”
Hailey ended the call. She found Gran’s address book and proceeded to make the difficult calls to Gran’s sister, Mary, some cousins, and a few family friends to let them know.
She made an appointment at the mortuary and started thinking about what to do for the funeral. The grief and exhaustion overcame her so she lay down on the couch. The next thing she knew, two hours had passed. She heard some commotion in the kitchen.
“Gran?” Hailey walked in. Gran stood at the sink.
“I’m making something to eat. I’m thinking macaroni and cheese.”
Hailey massaged the kink in her neck. “You don’t need to cook anything.”
“I can’t lay in my bed and cry anymore. I need to do something.” Gran opened and shut some cupboards as if searching for something.
“We could go out to eat,” Hailey offered.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” Gran grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. “Besides, I’m not hungry.”
“Why don’t you come sit down?” Hailey motioned toward the sofa.
“I suppose we need to talk about the service, don’t we?” Gran rubbed her eyes and then followed Hailey to the couch and sat down.
“I made an appointment at the mortuary. It’s at four o’clock. Today.”
Gran covered her mouth and rocked back and forth.
“I can go over and take care of everything. You don’t need to worry about any of the details.” Hailey didn’t want Gran to feel any more pain than she already was.
Shaking her head, Gran said, “No, I’ll go. I need to do this.”
***
Hailey and Gran arrived at the large white building with pillars. Hailey parked the car and they took the long, agonizing walk to the entryway.
This is real. We are planning a funeral for Gramps. A tear edged down Hailey’s cheek.
Inside, a short, bald man in a dark suit, said quietly, “Are you the Baker family?”
Hailey nodded. “This is my grandmother, June.”
“My name is John Williamson. May I extend my deepest condolences? I’m so sorry to hear of his passing.” He shook their hands.
“Thank you,” Hailey said, noticing the cold, detached feeling inside the building.
“Please follow me.” He led them into a small room with a desk and two large chairs. “Please sit down. We can get started when you’re ready.”
Gran drew in a deep breath. “Harry didn’t like a big fuss. I think something simple at the church a few streets over from where we live would be nice. It’s the Living Light Church.”
“Do you have a preference for the time?” he said with a soft, respectful tone.
“Morning.”
They continued to make plans and decisions, including picking out a casket. It left Hailey with a deep ache in her chest. She’d been too young to participate in much of this when her father passed away. She’d had no idea how emotionally draining and physically exhausting it was to make final arrangements for a loved one. Her mom
had to do this for her dad, as did her grandparents. Now Gran was doing it again for Gramps. It was almost too much.
“I think I have everything.” Mr. Williamson wrote a few more notes. “I’ll see if we can get it all arranged for Friday morning.”
Gran gave a quick nod, then stood. “Thank you for your help.”
“You’re welcome. Again, my sympathies for your loss,” he said with kindness.
Hailey and Gran left the mortuary and made the drive back to the house without saying much.
When they got home, Hailey said, “Can I get you anything?”
“No. I think I need to rest.” Gran trudged down the hall to her room.
Hailey began cleaning up in the kitchen. Her stomach growled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten anything all day. She stared at the open cupboard, but nothing looked appetizing.
A knock sounded, so Hailey walked over to the front door and opened it. Peter stood on the front porch, his eyes full of compassion. Just seeing him gave her a sense of serenity. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and lose herself in his embrace, but she resisted the urge. “Come in.”
He had a couple of bags in his hands. “I brought some Chinese from a place down the road. I hope it helps.”
“I was about to make something to eat, but this is much better. Thank you.” Hailey took the bags from him. “Gran went back to her room, but I’m starving.”
“Glad I could help.”
“And you’ll join me?” she said. The bags obviously held plenty of food, and she had no desire to eat by herself.
“If that’s all right.”
Hailey grabbed some dishes and utensils, and they sat at the small kitchen table. After she said grace, Hailey dished out some rice, sweet and sour pork, and an eggroll. She picked up her fork.
Peter gave her a distressed look.
“What?” Did she have something on her face or, worse, in her nose?
“Chopsticks.” He handed her a package.
“Oh,” she said with relief. She unwrapped them and tried to corner some rice. Using chopsticks made Hailey feel like she had three thumbs. How the Chinese could ever get any food into their mouths with these oversize toothpicks was beyond her.
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