by Lisa Fox
Night was setting in as they passed Lincoln Center, the fountains off for once. No water show was happening tonight without the power on. They passed a group of people gathered around an old Plymouth, the car radio broadcasting up-to-the-minute news bulletins.
“Power outages have been confirmed all along the eastern seaboard,” the radio announcer said. “There is still no timetable on when power might be restored. ‘We’re waiting on Canada,’ a spokesperson said at a conference held an hour ago at the...”
“Sounds like there won’t be any power tonight,” Grace said.
Ryan looked up at the darkening sky. “I guess not.”
“Blackout party on the roof of 50 Central Park West!” a man in the crowd yelled. He was dressed in stereotypical hipster fashion—skinny jeans, ironic T-shirt, thick mustache. “Warm beer! Twenty bucks a person. Cash only!”
A few of the younger members of the crowd expressed interest in going.
“Wanna go to a rooftop party?” Ryan asked her.
She scrunched up her nose. “I think I’m a little too old.”
“Right,” he said, drawing out the word. “I forgot. You’re ancient.”
She laughed and touched his shoulder. He had a great body. Hard and strong. “Also, we have no cash.” The crowd broke up, a number of them going off with the hipster guy and Grace watched them go. “It’s probably just a scam to get everyone up there and kill them all anyway.”
Ryan chuckled as they continued on their journey. “You really are a morbid woman.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “I am.”
They walked the last few blocks in compatible silence, watching the night come on and people pass them. “You know, it’s probably been over a year since I’ve been to any kind of party at all.”
He frowned. “Why’s that?”
Why indeed. She never did anything anymore. Once she belonged to a writing group, had friends that she met for coffee and lunch. Every now and then she even dated. Now all she did was worry. And write. And then worry some more. “I have a lot of responsibilities.”
“I can understand that, but you gotta make some time for fun. Otherwise you’re only living half your life.”
That may be true, but lately, she felt like she had far too much of a life to handle. She glanced over at him and then quickly away. It didn’t matter how much she might want him, if she attempted to add one more thing to her tight schedule, she feared she might break. “Old ladies have bedtimes, Ryan,” she said with as much cheerfulness as she could muster. “The blood of virgins is hard to come by nowadays. We need our beauty rest.”
He laughed and pulled her closer, the warmth of his body a bittersweet comfort she foolishly savored while they walked ever onward.
They turned west on 80th and soon were standing in front of her building. Her street seemed unfamiliar and wild in the dark. Usually there was very little activity outside, but tonight people were gathered on the stoops, playing music, talking and laughing. She looked up at the sky and smiled. The night was ablaze with light, stars and constellations she could not name. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars in New York City before.”
Ryan looked up with her. “I think you’re right. Is it too bright, you think? Or is it that we never look up?”
A very valid question. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at the sky. “A little of both, I guess.”
His arm felt good around her shoulders, and they stood together, enjoying the rare and spectacular view. There was such simple pleasure being by his side, staring at the stars. Contentment she had never known before blanketed her with an inner quiet. A sense of peace. She leaned into him, and his arm tightened around her. She breathed in his clean scent and felt at home.
“Look,” she said, pointing to the sky. “Is that a falling star?”
“It’s a comet named Endymion,” a little girl said from the next stoop over. “They called it that because it passes so close to the moon, but never touches it.”
Her mother smiled at them apologetically. “She just went to the Hayden Planetarium on a school trip yesterday.”
“I’m going to be an astrophysicist like Neil deGrasse Tyson,” the girl told them.
Ryan smiled. “That is an admirable goal.”
Grace looked back up at the comet and then over at Ryan. She did not want the evening to end. Not yet. And maybe not all of her reasons were chaste. “Do you…?” She blushed, looked at the ground, took a deep breath. For once, she had to go for it. The night was a bust. She wasn’t going to get any work done. Maybe she could steal this one little minute for herself. She met his gaze again. “Do you want to come up and have a glass of water or something before you go? You’ve got such a long walk ahead of you.”
A wide smile broke out on his handsome face, and Grace was afraid she might actually swoon. “Yeah. I’d love to have some water.”
“Good,” she said, a crimson flush heating her cheeks. She hated that she blushed so easily. Hated that it showed. She jerked her thumb toward the building. “I live on the fifth floor.”
He gestured her ahead. “Lead the way.”
He climbed the stairs by her side, his hand resting lightly on her lower back. The warmth of him penetrated the thin material of her shirt and quickened her steps. Her heart rate picked up and even though she knew she was being foolish, she couldn’t but feel a little giddy from all the possibilities her overactive imagination could dream up about having him in her home.
They arrived at the door, and she let him into her one-bedroom apartment, praying she hadn’t left any underwear lying on the couch or something equally embarrassing. Thankfully it was a little too dark to see anything, but nothing seemed too out of order in the living room. The sofa was free of undergarments, and her desk was in reasonably good order. She took a quick glance to the left, toward the small kitchen area, and breathed a sigh of relief. No dishes in the sink. She was a better housekeeper than she thought. She reached for the light switch, but of course nothing happened when she flicked it on.
She put her hands on her hips and looked around the dark room. “I guess we need candles.”
“Do you have any?”
“I do. Somewhere.” If only she could remember where she stuffed them. It was a sad comment on the state of her life that she had no real use for them. There was no reason for her to have them around, no romantic moments to savor, no candlelit dinners to linger over. “Have a seat,” she said, waving him toward the couch. “I’ll be right back.”
“Can I help?”
“No, I got it. It’ll be better if we’re not both stumbling around in the dark.”
He headed for the sofa, and she made her way toward the bedroom, walking slowly to not bump into anything. She automatically flicked the light switch on when she entered the room and cursed herself for being an idiot. She pulled open the closet door and gazed into the darkness. This was not going to be a fun hunt. She groped around blindly and found a large box in the far back corner, the place where she tossed all the sparkly doodads and other assorted items she kept for no good reason whatsoever. Her hand closed around a long, tapered, wax wand, and she smiled. She located another one and pulled the candles out of the box. She recalled receiving them as part of a goodie bag from a wedding last spring, and she held them up to read the names of the bride and groom engraved on the side. Thanks Todd and Jenny, she thought, and left the bedroom behind.
“Got a light?” she asked when she re-entered the living room.
“Nope,” he said, shaking his head.
“Okay,” she said and went back to the kitchen. She found some matches in her utility junk draw and lit the wicks. They brightened up the room which was great, but what was she going to do with them now? She didn’t own anything that even remotely resembled a candle holder. At a total loss, she grabbed a dish, dripped some wax on it, fastened the candles in place, and hoped for the best. She carried the dish back into the living room and placed it on the coffee table.
; “Nice candle holder,” he said.
“No one likes a smart ass, Ryan,” she said, blowing an errant strand of hair out of her eyes. She watched the candles for a second to see if they were going to remain upright. They seemed okay, so she nodded to herself, a job well done. “Okay, part one complete. Now we need some water.”
“Are you sure I can’t help you?”
“No, I got it.”
She patted his knee and went back to the kitchen. The candles cast just enough light for her to see into the cabinets. She pulled down two glasses and went to the refrigerator. The pitcher of water she kept in there was still cool. She poured them both a glass and carried them back into the living room.
“Thank you,” he said when she handed him a full glass.
She flopped down on the couch beside him. “Wow, that was a lot of work.”
Ryan laughed, imperfectly perfect white teeth flashing in the golden light. She wasn’t used to being around a man as attractive as he was. She generally dated geeks, professors, quiet engineers. Not younger, hip, web-designing boxers. She met his gaze, the candlelight reflecting in his dark eyes. Her cheeks heated once again, and she couldn’t help but giggle.
“What?” he asked, a smile touching his lips.
She shook her head and leaned back on the couch, melting into it. It felt so good to sit down. “That was the longest walk I’ve taken in my whole life.”
“Aren’t you from Vermont? Didn’t you have to walk miles and miles uphill in the snow to school?”
She shook her head in amused bafflement. “They do have cars in Vermont, you know.”
He shrugged. “If you say so.” He touched her thigh, a gentle, fleeting caress that sent shivers over every inch of her skin. “We probably only walked about five miles though.”
“Really?” She toed off her hideous, but very handy sneakers. She was grateful for them, there was no way she could’ve made that walk in sandals. He would’ve had to carry her for real. She tucked her legs underneath her, massaging her tired calves. “God, it felt like a million. Why’d it take so long?”
Ryan laughed. “’Cause we were walking at like zero miles an hour.” He poked her side, teasing her. “We weren’t even walking. We were strolling. Meandering. Ambling, even.”
She tried to give him a pouty face, but it was hard when all she wanted to do was smile. “Are you making fun of me?”
He nodded, then reached out to brush a lock of her hair behind her ear. “A little bit.”
Her eyes flicked to his lips and wonderful bubbles of attraction boiled up within her, like freshly uncorked champagne. “That’s not very nice.”
He traced the curve of her cheek with his index finger. “I’m not very nice.”
Something in his gaze made her pause. The words were said lightly, but there was more there. He was kidding, but maybe not entirely joking. It was a thought to meditate on another day because he moved in closer, or maybe she was the one who moved, she didn’t know, all she knew was that she was lost in the dark pupils of his eyes, in the scent of his skin, his shampoo, his clean cologne. Her gaze lingered over the bow-shaped curve of his lips, the dark stubble framing his mouth. “That’s too bad. I tend to prefer nice guys.”
“Do you?” The breathlessness in his husky voice made her tingle in all the right places. He nuzzled her nose, gently nudging her chin up and when his lips brushed over hers, everything in her went liquid. “Are you sure?”
Electric sparks raced down her nerve endings, heat exploding in her veins. He cupped her face, and she leaned into his palm, his caress. Her heart hammered in her chest, her pulse off the charts. When his lips met hers, she opened for him instantly, hungry for the flavor of his kiss. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, and she moaned, relaxing her jaw to let him all the way in. His soft grunt of satisfaction lit her insides aflame. She shivered, hot and chilled, hypersensitive to his touch. He teased her with light nips and nibbles, alternated with hard thrusts. She lost herself in him, in every gasp, every pounding beat of her heart, and she melted into his arms, giving herself over to him entirely.
They met and parted and met again, a long, slow kiss that heated every single cell in her body. He caressed the line of her jaw with his thumb as they connected in the candlelight. His lips were firm yet yielding, stroking and tender. He drew her closer, his hard chest pressed against hers. Her fingers tangled in his short, thick hair as she invited him in deeper.
A flash of light caught her off guard, and she flinched, automatically pulling away from him. Every light in her apartment came on, and she was blinded by the sudden brilliance. Dazed and disoriented, she looked around the room, trying to acclimate to the brightness. Her gaze touched on her desk, the TV, the old-fashioned digital clock blinking midnight over and over again.
“Looks like the power’s back on,” Ryan said, squinting in the light.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Cheers came from outside, and she laughed along with the people on the streets. She tingled from his kiss, the taste of him still on her lips. She felt light, giddy, her cheeks were flushed, and for the first time ever, she didn’t mind. She glanced over at him and though her body screamed for more, good sense prevailed. She had things to do tomorrow. “At least you won’t have to walk now. The subway will be back in service.”
He nodded once. “You’re right. It’s probably late. I should get going.”
They both glanced over at the clock, but it was no help, it was still blinking midnight. He stood up, and she walked him to the door, where they paused for a moment. He took her hand, gently caressing her fingers. “I want to see you again.”
She smiled up at him. “You will, on Tuesday.”
He shook his head. “No, not at work. Let me take you to dinner.” He brushed a lock of hair off her shoulder. “Tomorrow night.”
She wanted to, more than anything, but she had responsibilities. Tonight was fun, but too much indulgence was not something she could afford. “I can’t, Ryan. I’m on a tight deadline. Please understand.” She needed him to understand. “I’ll see you Tuesday, and we’ll do something after our meeting.” It was a consolation prize and she knew it, but that way she could see him on a day she’d already budgeted for not writing and be able to enjoy his company guilt-free.
He looked pained. “I probably won’t be able to leave right away. After you approve the site, there will be things I have to do. You’d have to wait around for me.”
“I can do that,” she said, placing her hand on his chest to comfort him. “I can find things to do in SoHo. Trust me.”
He still wasn’t sold. “If you’re sure…”
“I’m sure.” She wanted to be with him, more than she had wanted anything else in a long, long time, and she might be able to make it work if he didn’t ask for too much, if he let her make their schedule. There would come a time when he would want more, it was inevitable, she knew that, but for now, maybe he’d just let her see him when she could, when she could make the time. Getting involved with him was going to be dangerous, but if he didn’t push, she might be able to keep everything under strict control.
“Okay,” he said. He dipped his head and kissed her lightly on the lips. “Goodnight, Grace.”
She smiled and touched his cheek. She was a lucky woman. “Goodnight, Ryan.” She stood in the doorway and watched him walk down the hallway, then disappear down the stairs. Her heart ached a little when he was finally out of sight, the empty space in her chest she’d ignored for so long suddenly demanded to be filled. She closed her door with a sigh, and though she tried to avoid it, she went to bed dreaming of his kiss.
Chapter Five
The cursor blinked in the corner of the blank page on Grace’s laptop screen, but she was staring out the window, her mind far away. She could still feel the sensation of Ryan’s mouth on hers, the taste of his lips. She closed her eyes and chills ran down her spine as her body relived its reaction to his touch. She’d spent far too many hours already imaginin
g what could’ve happened if she had not sent him away that night, all the ways he might have touched her, but she indulged in one more illicit little fantasy, this one involving a slow strip tease.
Her phone buzzed, and she snatched it up to see who had texted her. It turned out to be a spam ad, and she put it aside with a disappointed sigh. It was corny, but she reveled in every text she’d shared with him since the blackout. Not that they talked about anything exciting. Their conversations were completely mundane—they discussed work and their day and shared nonsensical little tidbits of information. But however ordinary, she’d been thrilled every time her phone buzzed with his reply, and she’d saved every single one of his messages.
She glanced at the blank page on her computer screen and a quick tinge of guilt pierced her bubble. She needed to get some words in today. But thoughts of Ryan were so tempting, so self-indulgently easy to slip into and get lost in. With the way things had been going lately, she was ahead of schedule. She would not miss her deadline. Besides, wasn’t a girl entitled to think about the boy she liked? Especially when he liked her back? And she thought he did like her back. She wanted to believe it at least, believe that his smile was for her alone, that his kiss meant something more than just a kiss.
She pressed her fingers to her lips and smiled. She had never in her entire life kissed anyone like she had kissed him. Her skin still tingled just thinking about it. She thought she had kissed people with meaning before, but she was wrong. A kiss was more than just a gateway to other things, it was its own separate, special thing. And very precious.
She blushed remembering the look in his eye when he told her he thought she was pretty. It was a silly, offhand compliment, she knew that, but it still made her feel all gushy inside. He made her feel all gushy inside. And he was a good man, smart and confident. He might be younger than she was, but he had his act together. He’d be fun to date—if she had the time for such things. Which she didn’t. She knew that. But it was nice to think about. Where would he take her? Places she was sure she’d never heard of. And she’d get to be with him again, kiss him again, touch his amazing body. She bit her lower lip, heat rising from her core. She was absolutely certain he’d be really good in bed. Caring, but a little rough, playful and aggressive.