by Donald Bogle
It’s been questioned as to whether Michael really wanted Shields on his arm the night of the Grammys.
The story has been told by biographer Randy Taraborrelli that on the day of the Grammys, Shields unexpectedly showed up at the Jackson home in Encino, asking to see Michael. Could she attend the Grammys with him? she reportedly asked. Apparently, Michael was caught completely off guard and quickly consulted his sisters Janet and La Toya, who were in the house that day. “I don’t want to take her. I really, really don’t,” Michael said. La Toya reportedly responded: “Well, then tell her. Tell her no if you don’t want to take her.”
“But I can’t,” Michael said.
“Why not?” Janet reportedly asked.
“Because I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
In the end, he took Shields to the awards ceremony, along with his sister La Toya.
When a Jackson employee asked what Shields was like, Jackson responded, “She’s okay.” Referring to the Grammy night, he told the employee, “I only took her to help her out. There was no romance. Not at all. We’re friends. All of this was strictly for her, for the sake of publicity. She’s nice. I like to help her out when I can. It was good P.R. for her to be seen with me.” So much for a hot and heavy romance. For those observing Michael and Brooke, she seemed a safe date, hardly about to jump in the sack with him, hardly possessing the sexual assertiveness that Michael might not be able to handle. At another time, he said that he and Shields had been “romantically serious for a while.” But Shields maintained theirs was mainly a friendship.
Perhaps the most telling comment on the Jackson-Shields relationship occurred at the Grammys—when Michael seemed more interested in someone else. Waiting for Michael at the theater was child actor Emmanuel Lewis, with whom Michael had developed a friendship. The star of the TV series Webster, Lewis, who was about to turn thirteen, stood about three feet six inches; afterward, he would grow another six inches, but no taller. He also had the air of a young child. Seemingly enchanted by the actor, Michael was often seen carrying Lewis in his arms. The two were also featured on a cover of Jet magazine. But the question on everyone’s mind was a simple one: Why was Michael, then almost twenty-six, hanging out with Emmanuel Lewis?
Nonetheless, the Grammys was a triumphant night for Michael. He broke records at the awards ceremony. He won Best Vocal Performance, Male in three categories: in Pop for “Thriller,” in Rock for “Beat It,” and in R&B for “Billie Jean.” “Billie Jean” also won Best Rhythm & Blues Song, and Michael and Quincy Jones won as Producer of the Year (Non-classical). “Beat It” won Record of the Year. Thriller also won the grand prize as Album of the Year. In addition, Michael walked off with the award for Best Children’s Album for his recording of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. In all, he took home eight awards. The night was all the more important for him because he paid tribute to his idol Jackie Wilson, then ill and incapacitated.
• • •
Career-wise, Michael Jackson was sitting on top of the world.
Yet if there is a precise time when Michael Jackson began to unravel, when indeed the tragic torment set in, it was probably after the release of Thriller. Ecstatic with the album’s success, Jackson had attained a goal he long dreamed of. But it may also have been his undoing. A range of problems enveloped him. He aspired to top himself, which would not be easy, and the standards by which he measured himself would be impossible to meet. He would also continue to suffer the effects of the accident. Ongoing tensions within his family would continue. And there would be the heightened coverage by both mainstream media and the tabloids that would throw off his equilibrium. Aware that legions of international fans were curious about him, the media excitedly chronicled his every move with cover stories in People, Rolling Stone, Newsweek, Time, and later Vibe. Few stars received this kind of coverage, which bordered on the hysterical. At first, the coverage centered primarily on his music, but in time he discovered the burden of the scrutiny of his private life. That intense scrutiny would jar and jolt him, and as Carrie Fisher, the daughter of Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher, who was a friend to both Michael and Elizabeth, understood, possibly only one other celebrity would understand the harsh, unrelenting glare of the spotlight, having endured it herself: that would be Elizabeth.
No doubt there were now far too many questions about whom he dated, whom he had romantic feelings about, and even when—now in his early twenties—he might marry. In interviews with his soft, high voice, he was hardly the sexual magnet of the man on records and in videos. Now the media asked questions that would never have been publicly posed in the past. Much of the coverage of Elizabeth and Michael marked major shifts and a transition in the press—and in worldwide media. The first sign of that shift had occurred in the 1950s with the publication of the magazine Confidential, which had specialized in going behind the facade of star images. Those days of studio portraits of beautifully made-up, lit, posed, and costumed stars had given way to tabloid images of stars in disarray, sometimes looking disoriented or drunk or doped. Photographs aside, the stories in Confidential could prove destructive to careers. Sometimes the new tabloid publications—that followed the success of Confidential—took real incidents and sensationalized them. Other times they concocted stories that weren’t accurate or true. Some stars fought Confidential. But it wasn’t until Dorothy Dandridge and Maureen O’Hara sued and testified in court that the magazine ultimately collapsed.
However, the ground that was broken by Confidential led the way to such publications as the National Enquirer, The Globe, and then the Star, as well as such television programs as Hard Copy and Inside Edition. Whereas Confidential might have suggested aspects of a star’s sexuality that might have proved shocking to an earlier generation, the new tabloid media were upfront. Mainstream media now asked franker questions. In his music, Jackson had established himself as an adult star, as a sexually potent yet sexually ambiguous matinee idol. Having ascended the ranks of stardom few attain, he was both legendary at this young age and also mythic. Now the audience wanted to know about the real Michael Jackson, the young adult. But he appeared unwilling to share that person with the public.
In the 1980s, a dramatic change had come about in his personality, in his outlook on his life. He had grown increasingly reclusive and withdrawn. At an earlier time, he seemed to jump into interviews with relish. Now he appeared to avoid the press whenever possible, to retreat from public appearances and statements unless it was for promotion. On the one hand, he understood that a star has to be seen. Invisibility could kill a career. On the other hand, he maintained whatever privacy he could by controlling what the public actually saw—or read.
Whenever he agreed to interviews, he did so “with a cordon of managers, other Jackson brothers, and, in one case, his younger sister Janet parroting a reporter’s questions before Michael would answer them,” commented music writer Gerri Hirshey. When she conducted an interview with him for a cover story in Rolling Stone, Hirshey noted: “The small body of existing literature paints him as excruciatingly shy. He ducks, he hides, he talks to his shoe tops. Or he just doesn’t show up. He is known to conduct his private life with almost obsessive caution, ‘just like a hemophiliac who can’t afford to be scratched in any way.’ The analogy is his.” But whether he agreed to interviews or not, the press coverage continued unabated. Comments were made on his every move, much as was the case with Elizabeth in the past and in the present. But Elizabeth always handled the media skillfully and refused to let it influence her behavior.
For a time, he admitted that most of his “friends” were the animals in his menagerie at the family compound at Hayvenhurst, where he kept a llama, two fawns, and a ram. A favorite was his snake, Muscles. In fact, the entire Jackson family, including Joseph, said La Toya, loved animals. In addition to those other animals, Joe Jackson told Time magazine: “Michael has three parrots, two pairs of swans, one’s a black pair, one’s white. Sometimes those swans get to fighting out there, plo
pping around in the water out there, and it wakes you up. He has some peacocks. I like animals, but I can be tired of them after a while. Michael never gets tired of an animal. He is like a child.”
Michael also developed a strange affinity for mannequins. “I guess I want to bring them to life. I like to imagine talking to them. You know what I think it is?” he once said. “I think I’ll say it. I think I’m accompanying myself with friends I never had. I probably have two friends.” He added: “That’s what it is. I surround myself with people I want to be my friends. And I can do that with mannequins. I’ll talk to them.” There would also be Bubbles, the chimp, that he carried with him—and who the rest of the family also enjoyed.
But Michael also confessed to loneliness, commenting that he was “one of the loneliest people in the world.” He also said he wouldn’t wish his loneliness on anyone.
Such talk about mannequins and his obsession with his pets appeared to be a way of derailing the persistent curiosity about his love life. His fascination with Diana Ross was still well known and well publicized. In 1982, he wrote her hit song “Muscles.” Together they had graced the covers of Ebony and Jet. But no one thought of the two as a romantic couple. They looked endearingly like a very close brother and sister. Questions openly arose about Michael’s sexuality. Was he gay? Looking as if to avoid such questions, a nineteen-year-old Michael had let it be known in 1977 that he had a crush on young actress Tatum O’Neal. Though the two dated, no one seemed to think it was a romance. O’Neal herself didn’t see it that way, either.
In the late 1970s, rumors had circulated—on the grapevine, in the years before the blogosphere—that he had had a relationship with a handsome African American actor generally known as a womanizer. Somehow the actor had taken a liking to Michael, perhaps attracted as much by Michael’s fame and talent as by his personal appeal, and as the stories had it, Michael was in a swoon. But the actor’s interest soon waned, and he had ditched Michael, leaving him heartbroken apparently from his first significant romance. Whether there was any truth to the story remains undetermined. The most preposterous part of the rumor was that Michael planned to get a sex change to be able to marry the actor. The entire family, including Katherine, seemed thrown off-balance by such comments and quickly came to Michael’s “defense,” pointing to his “girl friends,” such as Tatum and Brooke. Trying to dispel various rumors about her son, Katherine publicly said, “There have been a lot of rumors about Michael, that he has had operations to have his eyes widened and his cheeks changed and everything. Those things are simply not true. He had only one operation, on his nose.” But she appeared most emphatic about denying the stories about his sexuality. “They also say Michael is gay. Michael isn’t gay. It’s against his religion. It’s against God. The Bible speaks against it.” Joe Jackson also publicly announced: “Michael isn’t gay.”
Michael himself felt compelled to comment on his sexuality, stating simply that his dates and relationships with girls just hadn’t worked out. His fame was partly to blame. Most young women had preconceived notions of who he was. Others were trying to figure him out. He also believed some girls wanted to know what made him tick. Or they hoped to “rescue” him from his loneliness.
But he was as emphatic as other family members about letting it be known that he was not gay. When a vocal coach mentioned the rumors, Michael told him: “I know. The other day a big, tall, blond, nice-looking fellow came up to me and said, ‘Gee, Michael, I think you’re wonderful. I sure would like to go to bed with you.’ I looked at him and said, ‘When’s the last time you read the Bible? You know you really should read it because there is some real information in there about homosexuality.’ The guy says, ‘I guess if I’d been a girl, it would have been different.’ And I said, ‘No, there are some very direct words on that in the Bible too.’ ” In many respects, the subject of sex itself was taboo.
Yet at the same time, when singing and dancing, he projected a strong sexuality—when dancing in some videos or onstage he might grab his crotch and kick a leg up. Yet his was also an androgynous sexuality. That was all part of his appeal. The androgyny, the inherent gentleness, the soft voice, the delicate features (thanks to the surgery and makeup), the lithe body frame all made him seem less threatening and all the more vulnerable. It was part of what also drew very young fans to him and also made children around the world adore him.
But beneath that exterior, there was a tougher person, both on- and offstage. Audiences detected the steely determination to ascend to new heights in his career, the determination to make shrewd business connections that would ensure his autonomy and his power. It was all a part of the subtext of the Jackson performances and persona that made him more complicated and intriguing—to observe, enjoy, and hopefully understand.
Though he moved professionally in one direction, accepting the responsibilities of adulthood, privately and emotionally he moved in another direction, withdrawing from the adult world. He identified with Peter Pan of J. M. Barrie’s play Peter Pan, or the Boy Who Would Not Grow Up. In his 1904 play and, later, his 1911 novelization of the story, Barrie created a whimsical adventurous boy who can fly. His name was partly inspired by Pan, the Greek god of the woodlands, and it was always said that the inspiration for the story itself followed in the wake of the death of Barrie’s older brother David in a skating accident at age fourteen. Barrie’s grieving mother seemed to find solace in the fact that her departed son would always remain a boy. In Barrie’s story, Peter Pan—on an excursion to Bloomsbury—meets a lovely girl named Wendy Darling and her two brothers, John and Michael. Enchanted by them as they are by him, Peter flies them off to the island of Neverland. There they encounter the Lost Boys and also the wicked Captain Hook as well as Tinker Bell and Tiger Lily. Always there are adventures and magical moments. At one point, Wendy expresses to Peter her romantic feelings for him. But he tells her that he will always think of her as a mother to him. In time, Wendy returns to her home with her brothers and the Lost Boys. They will eventually grow up. Peter Pan, however, will never grow up and will always reside in his Neverland, yet he promises to visit Wendy every spring. For Michael and so many others, Peter Pan preferred the innocence and purity of childhood to the grinding and deadening responsibilities of adulthood. The character was a potent symbol for Michael, who now cherished the idea of holding on to or recapturing his childhood.
Still living in Hayvenhurst in Encino without any apparent desire to ever leave, he did seek more privacy, more personal space where he could create and even entertain, and, of course, remove himself from Joseph’s presence. In 1982, he had decided to do a complete overhaul of the family home. A year later, the renovation was completed. His new studio at the house became his sanctuary, the place where he could be alone, sometimes working on dance steps or music, other times indulging himself in his passions and obsessions. Covering the walls were pictures of his favorite stars. But he no doubt now had visions of another place, all his own, one that would be both an adventure and fantasyland where he might recapture the magic of a childhood he had lacked and where he could escape from the pressures of his career. Yet that was still in the distance. For the time being, he still lived at home, still enjoyed the security of family life and time spent with his sisters La Toya and Janet (to whom he said he was closest), and still followed the tenets of the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
But even in the remodeled Hayvenhurst, he sought to live in the cocoon of an idealized childhood he believed he never had, a marked difference from Elizabeth. She often struggled, whether through her marriages or her open defiance of conventions, to break free of the cocoon. Painfully aware now that he had missed a lot, he appeared fascinated by other children in the business, past and present. Part of the appeal of Brooke and Tatum as well as actress Kristy McNichol was they also had been child stars, growing up in a tough adult business without time for play, games, and childhood passions. A former child star from the past who intrigued Michael was George “Spanky” McF
arland, best known as the spunky, chubby character Spanky in Hal Roach’s Our Gang series, later called The Little Rascals. Once he was no longer a cute little kid, McFarland’s career basically was over. As a young adult, he had left show business, joined the Air Force and later became a salesman. He also moved back to Texas, where he was born. His was a very settled life. Later Michael went out of his way to meet McFarland, first at the 1984 Oscar ceremony when McFarland and Jackie Cooper (another former child star) presented an Honorary Oscar to Our Gang creator Hal Roach. Afterward, he also tracked down McFarland that night at the Governors Ball. McFarland appeared surprised by the attention Michael lavished on him, saying that as a kid he had watched the Our Gang series on television and that McFarland had inspired him. The Star-Telegram in Dallas later reported that during a three-night stopover of the Jacksons on tour at Texas Stadium in 1984, Michael again saw McFarland. By one account, he even stayed at the entertainer’s home. McFarland’s wife, Doris, recalled: “He asked us to turn off the air conditioner because he was cold. He sat in a rocking chair and watched television with us, covered in an afghan.” Just being in McFarland’s presence seemed to bring him comfort.
Michael was also fascinated by the greatest of child stars, Shirley Temple. Finally, he got to meet her through his childhood friend David Gest, who had become a producer and knew many stars from Hollywood’s past. When Michael visited her home in Woodside, California, she came to the door wearing an apron. She had been in the kitchen preparing a meal for them. Like Spanky McFarland, Temple may have been totally surprised by the attention and praise paid to her by the most famous music star in the world. At first, the two didn’t seem to know what to say to each other. But his visit pleased her, and the atmosphere at Temple’s home was warm and friendly as they dined together. Temple showed him photographs from her movies. She still had the dresses she had worn in her films. Frequently, she rubbed his hand, a way of letting him know she understood him. He recalled that when he asked if she had enjoyed her career, she said simply that she had loved it. After her career in the movies, she had veered in another direction and become the United States Ambassador to Ghana and later Czechoslovakia and the Chief of Protocol of the United States. She also had a settled life as a wife to the businessman Charles Alden Black and as the mother of three children. By the time Michael met Temple, he also knew Elizabeth. That day, Temple frequently asked Michael about Taylor and told him to be sure to tell her hello. Both Temple and McFarland had survived many storms to arrive at mature, satisfying lives. Michael seemed to be searching for their secrets of adjustment to adulthood.