by Nora Crystal
"So when's the last time you saw any of the guys," Mom asked as we pulled out onto the road. They Might be Rock Hyenas may have taken on the world, but they started right in my neighbourhood. Travis Mellnick, was my next door neighbor and he had been my best friend growing up. Sheila was the one who got them an audition with Bob, their agent and one of my mother's best customers.
It was weird to think about that time and the Travis I used to know. I hadn't seen any of them in over a decade, but I knew from the way Sheila was talking that that hiatus was almost over. "You didn't get us backstage did you?" I asked as a sheepish smile danced across my mother's face. She was always getting tickets and passes. She worked for the song mill and they record labels were always trying to keep their writers happy. "You're not going to make this weird are you?"
It was a question that I always needs to ask my mother. She had a habit of getting maternal when she drank and usually ended with stories. Stories about an adorable little girl and they always left me red in the face. I didn't know if I could take hearing the stories in front of Travis.
I could still remember the night Travis left for Hollywood. We had camped out on the roof of the building. We had been through so much together. Travis had looked out for me through my parent's divorce and my mother’s mood swings. We had always talked about getting our parents together. Travis was raised by his dad, his mom had left before I met him. We had so much in common, and we had been through the same things, it was like we knew each other inside and out. Then he left, I knew on that last night that it was our last night. Even if we met again it would never be the same. Not talking was hard but it made it easier to be apart.
"He asked about you," Sheila teased just to see my face change. She laughed, "I didn't talk to him, but if he knew we were coming he would've asked about you." She was the absolute worst sometimes.
I stared out of the window and waited for her to stop laughing. It was hard to imagine that I was raised by this woman. She loved life in a way that I had trouble understanding. Sheila Wanders was a free spirit who loved the entire human experience.
The longest car trip that I had ever been on was the first time that I had ever tried to go see Travis live. It was an eight hour trip to Atlanta. TMRH was playing a stadium and we got tickets sent to us by their manager. We got to Atlanta a day early and went out to dinner. I had the clams. I was sick for three days and ended up costing my mother two extra nights on the hotel. I missed the concert and that was my favorite memory of trying to go see Travis.
When we got to the concert hall I was a bit surprised. "It's a warm up show," my mom laughed. "They are always in crappy little holes like this." Sheila seemed absolutely giddy about walking into this armpit of a club.
"These are always the best shows. Nobody has to be perfect, the band is free to be creative." Sheila was dragging me through the crowd with a giddy laugh to her step. I was busy apologizing to the people that we were craning through to get to the front of the line.
"We are with the band," Sheila said as she flashed the pass and got past the security guards. Our tickets didn’t say anything about getting into the show early, but my mother always did things like this. She always told me, “Look confident, don’t ask for directions, and most importantly don’t slow down, just walk and flip a piece of paper and no security guard will stop you.” It had worked again.
“This is a dive bar,” I said as I felt the wood shavings crunched under my feet. Sheila grabbed me with both hands and shook me.
“Eeeee!” She squealed. “This is going to be a great show! Like the one they did in Reno,” my mother was about to remind me about the show when it hit her. “Oh yeah, your friend died, or something, right?”
“Grandma, yes,” I shook my head incredulously. My mother would do anything for rock and roll. I had almost forgotten that I was the one who set up grandma’s funeral. She grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the bar.
“We need five waters to bring back for the band,” Sheila told the bartender in her most official sounding voice. The bartender looked sceptical. “Gil asked me to bring them back,” Sheila always had an ace up her sleeve. The waters came over the bar and we walked back behind the stage.
“Do you even know where to go?” I asked as we got behind the curtain.
“I have a sixth sense about these things,” Sheila was dipping and dodging through the roadies and backstage personnel. Finally she came to a door. She put her ear to the door and knocked. “Randy!” Mom yelled as she threw her arms around Randy Steinman.
“You made it!” Randy said as he threw his arms around me too. He pulled us both into the room. “This is so awesome, you never come,” Randy marvelled as the others came over to say hi to us. Hank and Mikey, and a bunch of people who I didn’t know, but no sign of Travis. “He is moping,” Randy said as he noticed me looking around.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. I tried to pretend that it wasn’t the world’s biggest disappointment that he wasn’t here.
“The reunion, isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Randy laughed. “We have all moved on, Travis is kind of stuck. He wanted to call for a reunion and have us all go back to kissing his ass all the time. It didn’t go very well.”
“What are you giving an interview here?” Hank was all over Randy as he got between us. “You know there are people we don’t know in this dressing room right now. They would love to talk to some magazine about discord in the band.” Hank looked over at me. “This has nothing to do with you Jean. I trust you and Sheila, but there are at least four people in this dressing room that I don’t even know.”
Sheila and I found a place to sit in the back of the room. There was still a lot of time before the show started and I knew that I would never get my mother out of the dressing room before it was absolutely necessary. We watched as the guys went through some of their pre-show rituals. Mikey was burning incense and smudging himself with a sage pouch. Randy was drinking green tea and sitting on a yoga mat. Hank was doing chin ups, although I could tell that he was not doing as many as he wanted to.
“That was a ritual from when he was in better shape,” Mom said as she watched Hank struggle. All of the guys had aged in the decade since I saw them. They were all little punk kids and now they were fully grown men. I wasn’t sure I was ready to see Travis that way. I was worried it would ruin the image that I had of him.
Ch. 4 – Travis
I had been sitting in the studio for hours when Gil came to get me. "It's time to go," he said. I didn't really respond to him. I stood up, but I didn't start moving. I was just standing in place. "Come on, let's have a drink," Gil urged as he moved me over to a table with drinks already poured. I started to wonder how long he had been standing there. I mean these drinks hadn't gotten on the table by themselves.
"What are we drinking to?" I asked as I took the shot and then took the other shot. Gil didn't seem to mind, although he didn't seem to mind anything. I was pretty sure I could've asked to kick him in the nuts every day and he would've gone along with it. He was such a snivelling suit that it disgusted me.
"Shall we drink to tonight's concert?" He asked as I drank the drink he had just poured for himself.
"I don't know, hmmm, maybe we shall," I was mocking him and the spineless wimp only smiled. Earlier I had busted his head wide open and he didn't even fight back. I had been around people like this my whole adult life. Was it any wonder that I didn't know how to live my life properly? I glared at Gil as I took the next drink from him too. Then I took the bottle out of his hand and led the way out of the studio.
We were only an hour from show time and I was already feeling kind of all over the place.
"You need to get some water," Randy said as I walked into the dressing room. Randy only drank after the show. He had always been a professional. I had always told him the difference between a good guitarist and a great guitarist was how drunk the great one could be and still play on stage.
I tried to push past him and Randy g
rabbed my arm. “You are going to want to grab some water.” I looked over and saw two women with bottles of water.
“Sheila!” I yelled as I ran over to the older woman. The one in the floral dress hadn’t turned around yet, but it seemed to happen in slow motion as she did. It was like a blast from the past. As soon as I saw her I travelled through time. I was 16 again heading out on the road ready to take on LA and New York. “Jean! Man! I…I…ah, hi? Is that what I say?”
“Yeah, I think that wooorrks!” Jean said as I pulled her into my arms way harder than I had intended. It was just too amazing to see her again all grown up. At the same time I felt like a shit for not talking to her in a decade. There were only so many excuses you could make for being that kind of douche to someone you cared so much for, for so many years.
“Are you a lawyer now?” I always asked about Jean when I could. I had kept tabs on her from a far. We had only ever been friends, but she was the only woman in my life that I could really say that about. I was not good at doing, ‘plutonic.’
“Almost, I am about to graduate in April,” Jean said as she handed me a water. “My mother had us sneak in here as water girls.” I took the water and tried to drink it. I could feel it pouring all over me. I was starting to feel really out of it. I was regretting taking all of Gil’s drinks. I probably shouldn’t have done that. Even though it was fun to screw with him.
“Aren’t you going on soon?” Jean asked.
“Yeah, I‘ll be fine,” I said as she started to dry me with a towel that was draped over a nearby chair. I looked at her, she looked up at me, it should’ve been weird, but we were right back here. We had never had boundaries. We were always touching, but all of a sudden the contact was loaded with a completely different vibe.
Jean had done a lot of growing up. She was a woman now, and even though I was pretty out of it, I had still picked up on that. She was gorgeous, with her shoulder length, brown hair and those iceberg, blue eyes that seemed to glow. It had always felt like those eyes had seen right through me. She was the only one who knew me. Maybe that was why I had stayed away.
“You are sweating,” Jean said as she felt my arms.
“Whoa, hands on the merchandise,” I couldn’t even believe what I had just said. It was a joke I hadn’t used since the last time that we were together. I had always pretend it was a joke, but I had always liked it when she touched me. “I haven’t said that in forever,” I admitted.
“Oh sure, I bet you have said it to every groupie that you have had towel you off,” Jean teased. I shook my head. “Liar,” she laughed.
“That line is just for my Jean,” I said. “So why are you here after all this time? I mean, I am so happy that you are, but why now?”
“My mother is trying to save me from myself and force me to have a little fun.” Jean shrugged. “It is spring break after all.”
“So you’re going wild?” I nodded my approval. “I like it, let me know if I can help with the going wild.”
“Hi, Tray,” this woman came up to me and totally threw me off. I stared at her in disbelief. Only the guys got to call me Tray. I was Travis to the rest of the world. “You said that we would hang out before the concert.”
“I said that?” I asked as I pulled a crazy face and motioned for the girl to run along.
“You don’t have to do that,” Jean said as she watched the girl run away in tears. Truthfully, I had no idea who that woman was, and I was not about to miss this opportunity to hang out with Jean.
“That woman looks vaguely familiar,” I said, “But I actually know who you are, and it may be another decade before I see you again.” We both laughed, and then I stumbled. Jean helped me get into the chair. I looked in the mirror. I didn’t like the reflection staring back at me.
“Alright, everyone needs to clear the room,” Gil started shouting. I could feel the energy in the room shift as the people began to groan and leave. I grabbed for Jean.
“I need to see you again,” I tried to say, but she looked at me with an odd expression. I knew that she didn’t understand what I was trying to say. I tried again, but then I saw her lips move and nothing was coming out. Gil grabbed her shoulders and moved her out of the room.
“Plenty of time for that later,” Gil said as he looked down at me. I charged right at him. I couldn’t believe that he had said that about Jean. She was not some groupie. My anger pulled me back into reality for a minute. Gil easily moved out of my way and Rand grabbed me.
“Are you ready to do this?” Randy asked as he strapped the guitar around me. I started going through the cords. My fingers always knew their way around the strings. It was like they were a part of the guitar as soon as they touched the neck. “All right, look at me, we are doing this, we are playing this show, but no fake drama crap.”
“I will totally leave,” Hank said as he spun a drum stick in each of his hands. “We are going to do this for real, we need to get a whole show in if we are going to be ready for the tour.” Hank led the charge out of the room. Gil put his hand on my shoulder and held me back.
“You remember the contract right?” Gil asked. I did remember the contract. I had signed it in a drunken stupor, but it basically said that I owed the studio one successful solo tour or I would have to pay their fees. They had gone through and itemized my possessions. The studio was going to take me for everything if I didn’t sell this solo tour. Gil was going to get my house.
“I don’t want to piss off the guys,” I said trying to reason with Gil. “There has to be another way to go. Wouldn’t a successful reunion tour be a good promotion for the solo tour?”
“Freak out, or there is no chance of starting up your solo career,” Gil patted my cheek and I almost killed him. Instead I nodded and walked out to the stage.
Ch. 5 – Jean
“So!” Sheila was jumping up and down as she ran up to me. We had gotten separated in the dressing room, but she waited for me just outside the gates to the backstage area. “What did you guys talk about?”
“Nothing, everything, I don’t know,” it was the best answer I could give. I was still trying to process the whole thing. I was so nervous and then so comfortable, and then it was over. It was like we didn’t miss a beat. The years hadn’t changed us, even though individually we were different people, together we were still us.
“Gil was so mad that he pushed away that model that they are trying to link him to,” Mom said as she walked me over to the bar. “They have a whole year’s worth of tabloid stories to run, they just have to get the pictures.”
We got our drinks and headed into the fray. It was already starting to get wild as people waited for the show to start. There was no opening act and people were chanting for Travis. A guy with six nose rings pushed past me and almost spilled my drink. “Watch where you’re going tubby!” My mother screamed at the large biker. The man was 250 lbs of solid muscle.
“Mom, it’s okay,” I said.
“Mom?” Sheila asked, “You never call me that.” Sheila hugged me tight and we walked further into the crowd. Sheila pushed the biker on our way past just to piss him off. Then she flashed him her flirtatious smile. That was how she got away with all of her crap. I had told her that there was going to come a day when that stopped working.
“I just need to hear ‘Banging on the Walls,’ and that will be enough for me,” I said as the roadies did the sound check. “I can die happy then.”
“They always close with that song,” Sheila said as she showed me a picture she had snapped of the set list. She was so good at being a concert goer it was almost insane. I wouldn’t have even thought of that. I read through the songs. They were covering all their hits and ending on the biggest. I couldn’t wait.
I had been reluctant to come, but now I couldn’t even remember why. I was shaking with excitement. After all of this time I was going to see They Might be Rock Hyenas live. I started chanting along with the crowd. It was the only thing that the band was lacking. Their name was w
ay too long to chant.
“I see them behind the curtain!” Sheila screamed and pointed and everyone around us went nuts. I couldn’t believe how excited I was getting. I got on the shoulders of a man in front of me. Sheila set it up of course, only using her hands, she asked the man to lift me. I just needed to be as close as possible to the action.
“Are you ready?!” It was Gil. He had run out on stage as the roadies cleared out. “I can’t hear you!” We were all screaming wildly. Nobody even cared how cliché Gil was being. It just didn’t matter. No one was here to see that guy, and as long as he got off the stage quickly we were all ready to indulge his cheese ball routine. “These guys need no introduction…”
“Then get off the stage!” The man holding me in the air shouted. I pet his head. I was hoping he realized that I was just approving of his comment and not making a sexual advance. I thought about that for a second before Gil started talking again and I was right back into the show.
“Hank Strider on the drums, Mikey Sawn on the bass guitar, Randy Steinman playing rhythm guitar, and lead singer, and lead guitarist, lyricist, and the…the…hey!” Gil yelled as Randy tossed him off the stage and into the crowd. I waved to the very stressed out agent as he glided past. Travis took the stage almost doubled over laughing. He ran up to Randy and hugged him, but he was having trouble standing again.
I had thought that I saw him moving around again. Mom had always told me about Travis’ tolerance levels when playing shows. It was the stuff of rock legend. However, tonight he looked way too far gone. He was laughing and having trouble getting back into a standing position. The audience was picking up on it as the band spent the first few minutes trying to get Travis back upright. Finally Randy let him sit down and went into the opening to ‘Standing at the Door.’