by Cindi Myers
“You can call me, too,” she said. “You know, if you need to blow off steam.”
“Or if I need any more insight into the male mind.”
She laughed, that light, musical sound that pierced him to the heart. He hung up, then sat for a long moment, staring at nothing. Maybe protecting Taylor wasn’t the only reason he wanted to pull her out of Darcy’s class. Discontinuing her dance lessons would make it easier for him to distance himself from Darcy, and from the intense feelings she kindled in him. It was too easy to forget himself when he was with her—to forget his responsibilities and obligations. Darcy made him feel good, but he wasn’t sure she was good for him, or for Taylor.
She was right that Taylor had changed since meeting Darcy.
He just wasn’t sure the change was for the best.
CHAPTER NINE
TAYLOR DIDN’T CALL DARCY, and neither did Mike. Darcy told herself they were too busy, or maybe part of Taylor’s punishment was that she couldn’t talk on the phone. And despite Mike’s comment about her being gorgeous, she’d sensed a coolness in his voice when they’d spoken, as if he really did blame her for Taylor’s fighting.
Wednesday, her girls’ class could talk of nothing but the fight. “Taylor really socked Nathan good,” Kira said. “Right on the mouth. He was bleeding and everything.”
“He looked like he was going to cry,” Hannah said. “I thought he would, but he punched Taylor instead.”
“Then she started crying,” Kira added.
Darcy winced. “I imagine her eye hurt.” She wished she could have been there to comfort the girl after the boy she liked spoke so cruelly to her.
“I saw them taking her to the office,” Debby said. “Her eye was all swollen and purple. It did look like it hurt.”
“They’re both suspended and can’t come back to school until next week,” Hannah said.
What was Taylor doing during her suspension? Was she staying with a babysitter, or stuck in Mike’s office all day? Darcy would have gladly looked after the girl, if Mike had asked. But of course, he hadn’t asked, one more sign that he blamed her for what had happened.
“I still can’t believe Taylor hit him,” Hannah said.
“It doesn’t sound as if either one of them handled the situation well,” Darcy said carefully.
“I’ll bet he won’t say mean things to her again,” Debby said.
“Yes, but hitting people isn’t a good way to solve problems,” Darcy said. “What else could she have done?”
“She could have told a teacher he was being mean,” Zoe said.
“She could have ignored him,” Hannah suggested.
“She could have shown him a few more moves and proved she was a good dancer,” Kira said.
Darcy doubted Taylor would have had the nerve to dance for a boy like that, but she admired Kira’s attitude. “Those are all great suggestions,” she said. “Maybe you’ll remember them if anyone ever says ugly things to you. Now, speaking of good dancers, we’ve got a show to practice for.”
As they moved on to the dance they were learning for the recital, Darcy felt Taylor’s absence keenly. After the girls left, she took out the costume she’d been making for Taylor, thinking working on it would help her feel closer to the girl. But it only made Darcy miss her more.
Mike thought he knew how to handle this, but did he really? Men had such different attitudes than women when it came to things like this. She remembered when Riley was five. He’d been targeted by a bully at school, a bigger, older kid who pushed him around on the playground and took his lunch money.
Riley had grown sullen and silent at home, picking at his meals and not sleeping well. At first he’d refused to tell them what was wrong, but Darcy had pressed and finally the story came out. Darcy had vowed to go up to the school and confront the principal and Riley’s teacher, but Pete had held her back.
“He needs to learn how to handle this on his own,” he’d said.
“He’s only five years old!” she’d protested. He’d have time enough later to learn to be a man. Now, he was still her baby.
She’d talked to the principal and to the teacher. They’d been defensive at first, but the bully was sent to counseling and Riley was happy again.
Clearly, there were some things a child needed her mother for. But Darcy wasn’t Taylor’s mother. And no matter what Dave said, she wasn’t trying to make Taylor a substitute for Riley. Right now Taylor simply needed a woman who understood her and what she was going through.
Darcy put away her sewing and checked the clock. It was after seven, late enough Mike and Taylor would have finished supper but Taylor wouldn’t be in bed yet.
She stopped at the grocery store on the way to Mike’s house and bought flowers and a funny card she thought Taylor would like.
Mike was clearly surprised to see her. “Darcy! What are you doing here?”
“I came to see Taylor.” She held up the bouquet of flowers. “I thought she might need cheering up.”
He frowned. “She’s supposed to be grounded.”
“I understand. I’d still like to say hello and let her know we missed her in class today.”
His frown didn’t fade, but he stepped back and let her in. “She’s in her room.”
“How is she?” Darcy asked.
“I don’t know. She won’t talk to me.”
Taylor sat in front of her computer, her back to Darcy, earbuds blocking her hearing as she played the video game with the princesses, dragons and trolls. “Taylor?” Darcy said.
The girl turned and Darcy choked back a gasp. Her left eye was ringed with purple and black, the lid swollen almost shut. “Your poor eye!”
“It doesn’t hurt too much,” Taylor said. “Dad says the worst will be over by the time I go back to school Monday. My suspension is up Friday, but that’s a teacher’s work day.”
“I brought you these.” Darcy held out the flowers and card.
“Thanks.” Taylor took them and opened the card, smiling briefly. “I don’t have anything to put these in,” she said.
Darcy looked around and spotted a glass on the bedside table. It might have once held milk. She took it into the bathroom, rinsed it out and refilled it, then stuck the flowers in it. It was no professional arrangement, but it would do.
When Darcy returned to the bedroom, Taylor was sitting cross-legged on the bed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be in class today,” she said.
“We missed you. We talked about nonviolent ways to respond when someone says mean things about us.”
Taylor looked even sadder. “I know I shouldn’t have hit him. And I said I was sorry.”
“It was Nathan, wasn’t it?” Darcy said. “The boy you like.”
“I don’t like him anymore. I never knew he was so mean.”
Darcy sat on the edge of the bed. She wanted to pull Taylor close in a hug, but was afraid if she did so they’d both burst into tears. Not that a good cry wouldn’t have been appropriate, but she didn’t want Mike to come in and accuse her of upsetting his daughter. She wondered if he was listening outside the door. In his place, she might have been.
“Boys, especially boys that age, have a hard time showing a girl they like her,” she said. “So they try to do things to get her attention—even mean things.”
“He said I was ugly.” Taylor bit her lip, blinking rapidly.
“This is going to sound weird,” Darcy said. “But guys are weird sometimes. And I think—maybe—
Nathan told you you were ugly because really, he thinks you’re pretty.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Yes. But people do stupid things sometimes. Fighting is stupid, too, don’t you think?”
She nodded. “I won’t do it again.”
“You’re a very pretty girl, Taylor. It’s good that you’re not vain about it, but you shouldn’t deny it, either.”
“I’m too skinny and I’m all scarred up.”
“No one sees those scars under your clo
thes. And you’re not as skinny as you used to be, either.” Darcy smiled. “In fact, I think you’re beginning to develop a figure.”
“Not like other girls.”
“You may be behind some of the other girls physically, but you’re catching up fast,” Darcy said. “It might not seem like it sometimes, but you’re growing up.”
Taylor blushed. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“My mom and I have talked about this stuff, but I still have questions…and she’s not here.”
“You can ask me anything.” Darcy felt such tenderness toward the girl it was all she could do not to pull her into her lap and cradle her, the way she had Riley when he was afraid or hurt or confused. But after all their talk of growing up, Taylor might think she was too old.
“What’s it like to get a period?” Taylor asked. “I mean, people say it doesn’t hurt, but how could it not?”
“I’ll try to explain, though your father is probably better at anatomy than I am.”
“It’s just too embarrassing to talk to my dad about this stuff,” Taylor said. “Besides, he’s a guy. How can he really know what he’s talking about if he’s never had one?”
“Good point.” There followed a conversation Darcy had never thought she’d have, about cramps and PMS and sanitary napkins and all the things involved with a girl growing into a woman. When she’d answered all of Taylor’s questions and the girl thanked her, Darcy did pull her close. “I’m glad I could be here for you,” she said. Since she’d lost Riley, she thought she might never feel so needed by someone else again. So trusted and, yes, loved.
MIKE COULDN’T IMAGINE what Darcy and Taylor were up to, sequestered in Taylor’s room for so long. Were they playing computer games or talking about dancing? Were they talking about him?
He tried to focus on the hockey game on television, showing them he didn’t care what they were up to, but he might have been watching a curling competition for all he paid attention to the screen. Every sense was focused on the closed door of the bedroom down the hall.
When he’d answered the bell and found Darcy standing there, his first instinct had been to send her away. His and Taylor’s lives had been comfortable and relatively trouble-free before Darcy stepped into the picture. Taylor didn’t get into fights at school or obsess over belly dancing costumes, and Mike certainly didn’t punch out strangers in restaurants or lie awake nights thinking about curvy blondes who could swivel their hips in ways designed to drive a man wild.
But tonight, as had happened so often before, what Mike’s brain told him to do and how his body responded were in direct opposition. It wasn’t only lust that made him hold his tongue and let Darcy in to see Taylor. She had an essential goodness that made him ashamed of blaming her for something he should have addressed with Taylor himself. After all, Taylor was his daughter and they’d always been close. He should have picked up on how much the appearance thing was bothering her and done more to reassure her.
The bedroom door opened and Darcy stepped into the hall. “Taylor wants you to come kiss her good-night,” she said.
He entered the room and found a girl transformed. Taylor smiled at him for the first time in two days and held her arms out for a hug. “It’s good to see you feeling better,” he said as he embraced her.
“Darcy and I had a long talk,” she said. “She explained all about boys being weird, and about how all the changes in my body are making me feel weird, too.”
He started to remind her she could have talked to him, but stopped himself. Much as he tried, he could never have explained things the way Darcy had, from a woman’s perspective. “Do you think I’m weird?” he asked.
She giggled. “Only sometimes.”
Fair enough. He kissed her good-night, and returned to the living room, glad to see Darcy was still there. “Can I get you anything to drink?” he asked.
“A cup of tea might be nice,” she said.
“I’ll see if I have any.” He rummaged in the cabinet and came up with a boxed assortment of herbal teas Taylor had gotten on a school field trip to the Celestial Seasonings plant in Boulder. “Chamomile, peppermint or lemon?”
“Peppermint.”
He decided to stick with water and brought both drinks back to the living room. “Thanks for stopping by tonight,” he said.
“I was afraid you’d think I was interfering in some thing that was none of my business.”
“You made Taylor feel better, and that’s what counts.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s hard for me to admit I can’t be everything to her.”
“You do your best. Tonight, she needed a woman’s perspective.” She set the teacup on the coffee table.
“I care about Taylor. I care about you, too.”
Once more he acted without thinking, sliding over closer and pulling her into his arms. She responded with all the warmth and passion he remembered from their previous kisses.
“I care about you, too,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “I’ll admit it makes me nervous.”
“Why is that?”
“For so long, I haven’t had room in my life for anyone but Taylor,” he said. “She was so sick and all my energy was directed toward getting her well.”
“But she’s better now.”
“Yes. And medications can help prevent rejection. But they can’t guarantee it, and the treatments themselves have side effects that might damage other organs.” He shook his head. “She could live a healthy, normal life or she could get sick again tomorrow.”
“Every one of us is fragile that way.”
He sensed her own fragility. She’d endured so much, yet how much had that cost her? They kissed again, a long, tender exchange. She shifted to press more closely to him, and he put one hand on her hip, feeling the curve of her body through her jeans.
His heart pounded with desire and fear. There had been no other woman in his life since Melissa. Yes, their divorce had been for the best, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t wounded the part of him that had believed the vows he’d made that their love would last “till death do us part.”
“After Riley and Pete died, I told myself I deserved to be alone,” Darcy whispered, her lips against his throat, the words felt as much as heard. “I’d made bad choices and obviously didn’t know how to have a healthy relationship.”
He cradled the side of her face and lifted her head until her eyes met his. “Maybe it’s time to try again,” he said.
“Maybe it is.”
They kissed hungrily, tongues entwined, bodies pressed together. He could feel himself slipping further from the reality of his living room into the promise of the fantasies that had haunted his dreams.
It took everything in him to pull away from her. “I’d ask you to stay, but…”
“I know. And I’d take you up on that offer, if we could.” She stood, straightening her clothes, smoothing her hair, the innocent gestures making him only want her more. “I’d better go.”
He walked her to the door, where they kissed again, pressed against the wall like lovers who wouldn’t make it to the bedroom before they tore their clothes off.
She was the one who pushed him away this time. “See you soon,” she said, and slipped out of the door before he could convince himself it would be all right for her to stay, even if Taylor was right down the hall.
He stood at the door a long time after she drove away.
IF THAT EVENING of kisses on Mike’s couch had accomplished nothing else, it had resulted in Taylor’s return to the Wednesday afternoon dance class. Her fight with Nathan had apparently made her something of a school celebrity, and she wore her bruise like a badge of honor. “Purple is my favorite color,” she said when Debby pointed out that Taylor’s eye matched her sweater.
“Are you going to have a purple costume for the show?” Hannah asked.
“Maybe,” Taylor said. She looked anxiously at Darcy, who winked.
After class, she
ushered Taylor to the sewing room. Mike had agreed to let Taylor stay late again today to work on her costume. Afterward, Darcy would drive the girl home. “I’ve been working while you were away,” Darcy said. “I still need to hem the skirt and add some sequins, but I want to know what you think.”
She’d sewn a simple cropped top out of the purple glitter material and added long, full sleeves that ended in a ruffle at the wrist. To this she’d added a panel of flesh-colored knit that reached to the waist, also dusted with glitter. A row of silver sequins at the neck and bottom of the crop top gave it more sparkle.
“It’s beautiful,” Taylor said, eyes wide.
“Try it on.” Darcy handed her the matching skirt, trimmed with more glitter and sequins.
Taylor darted into the bathroom. “Do you need any help?” Darcy called through the door.
“No, I’m okay.”
She emerged a few moments later, walking on tiptoe, arms held out from her sides, as if at any moment she might execute a ballerina twirl. “How does it look?” she asked anxiously.
“Gorgeous.” Darcy covered her mouth with one hand, sudden tears stinging her eyes and the back of her throat. Taylor was a princess straight out of a Disney movie.
“You think this bottom part is okay?” Taylor smoothed the spangled knit over her stomach.
“From the stage, no one will even know it’s fabric,” Darcy said. “And even up close it looks very natural.”
“Like those ice-skaters,” Taylor said.
“Better. Like a belly dancer. What do you think?”
“I love it.” She threw her arms around Darcy, surprising her with the strength of her hug. “Thank you so much! It’s the best present ever.”
Darcy put one hand on the girl’s back, and stroked her hair with the other. She closed her eyes, savoring the weight and warmth of a small body clinging to her, of a child’s love radiating through her. Remembering…
Taylor pushed away, breaking the spell, and began to twirl, the skirt flaring around her legs. “It’s the most beautiful costume ever. I can’t wait to show Dad and the other girls.”
“I thought maybe we should surprise him at the show.” Darcy wasn’t sure if Mike was ready to see his daughter dressed as a belly dancer, even if the costume wasn’t at all revealing.