by Jane Lythell
That was when Harriet went for it. She held Ziggy’s face in her hands and pushed her tongue between her lips.
‘Much better,’ he said.
He told Harriet to take off Ziggy’s top which she did. Underneath Ziggy was wearing a scrubby little cotton bra that had been washed too often.
‘Now take off your dress too, Harriet,’ he said.
She stood up and undid the ties that held her dress around her and let it fall to the ground. Underneath she was wearing a pink lace bra with matching knickers. She kept her boots on.
‘Very nice,’ he said.
‘Now undo Ziggy’s bra, and do it slowly, as if you are loving every moment of this.’
Ziggy looked frightened at this point but still Julius’s voice was telling them what to do and that they should think of it as a play, they were only acting. Harriet fumbled with the back of Ziggy’s bra and dropped it on to the studio floor. Ziggy is such a thin little thing that she had no breasts to speak of. Julius told Harriet to lick Ziggy’s nipples and Harriet leaned forward and started to do this.
‘Take your bra off too and go skin to skin,’ he said.
She slipped off her bra and tossed it onto the floor.
‘That’s good. Now I want you to push Ziggy onto the sofa as if you can’t wait and pull her jeans off.’
Harriet and Ziggy exchanged glances at this and Ziggy gave a little shake of her head as if to say no, don’t do that.
‘Come on, girls. Don’t go all shy on me. It’s only a play. Convince me you’re having a good time.’
Harriet pushed Ziggy down onto the sofa, undid the zip of her jeans and pulled them off. Ziggy was lying on the sofa with just her knickers on looking up at Harriet who was leaning over her.
‘Now run your hands up and down Ziggy’s body as if you’re in the grip of a mad passion,’ he said.
It was painful, horrible to watch. The two of them were doing everything he asked them to do. Ziggy had closed her eyes as Harriet touched her and he kept saying: ‘That’s great, keep it going, keep it going.’
I turned the laptop off. I was amazed at how upset I was at Julius. I thought he could be horrible but not this, not this. I remembered all the times he had bullied me and my colleagues and made us feel small. But I had not had him down as a voyeur.
I went into the bathroom and cleaned my teeth and washed my hands thoroughly as if I was the dirty one. I recalled the gossip Gerry had told me. Maybe Julius is impotent and this is how he gets turned on. How hateful to trick the girls into doing this. To exploit Ziggy who has so little self-esteem. And to exploit Harriet too who must have thought that if she went along with it she would get an on-screen job. In spite of everything he has done over the years I would not have expected this. I had thought there was a decent man in there struggling to get out.
I went into Flo’s room and she was asleep. She’d left her tablet and her phone charging. Both were fully charged and I took the plugs out of the wall. I looked down at her face and wondered how I could protect her from all the predatory men out there. It was an impossible task. Ziggy’s face came to mind then, that expression as Harriet knelt over her and Julius was coaxing them to act out a sex scene. Ziggy has no living parents to protect her.
I put the purple memory stick into a wooden box which has a lock and key and locked it away. Julius had done it because he could; because he has power and he likes to exercise that power. But I have the screen test now; at last I have something on him. I could feel my anger and upset changing into something more like elation.
I slept fitfully and woke up twice through the night. I felt a wave of revulsion each time I recalled how Julius had found it a turn-on to watch two young girls undress and perform for him. Gradually I formulated what I was going to say to him the next day.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
StoryWorld TV station, London Bridge
The show had started and after the first ten minutes had aired I could not wait a moment longer and told the director I’d be back before the end. I left the gallery and walked upstairs. I was filled with fear but also resolve. Martine wasn’t sitting outside his room so I walked straight in and shut the door. He was sitting on the sofa with his pad and he looked startled at my entry. I went and stood directly in front of his TV and launched straight in.
‘I’ve seen the screen test. It’s vile what you did.’
His face changed at once and he stood up and went to his desk. He pulled at the bottom left-hand drawer and it opened because Ziggy had broken the lock. He looked inside.
‘You stole it!’
‘How could you do that to them?’
‘You sneak into my office and you steal from my desk?’ His voice was incredulous rather than angry.
‘Two young vulnerable women; it’s sickening.’
‘Harriet, vulnerable? I don’t think so.’
‘And Ziggy? She’s had it easy, has she?’
‘It was a bit of fun.’
‘You can’t see how disgusting it was?’
‘I don’t suppose it would occur to you that one of them was a willing participant.’
‘Not for a moment.’
‘Harriet suggested they do the role play.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
There was a pause as he looked me up and down; his eyes travelled from my face to my feet and back to my face and it was unnerving.
‘You’re so naive, Liz, always have been. She’s a screwed up little rich kid who gets off on sexual games.’
‘No.’
‘Yes, and I’ve got that on good authority.’
‘She told me it was like being sexually assaulted.’
‘Bollocks! She’s play-acting.’
Martine had come back and she could see that there was a major confrontation going on between us and she knocked on the door. Her instinct was to support Julius and get me out of there but he waved her away.
‘I could have you fired for stealing,’ he said.
‘Oh yes? And I could show the screen test to Edward Dodd. I’m sure he would be very interested.’
That stopped him in his tracks.
‘You wouldn’t do that.’
‘Just watch me. If Harriet’s so happy about the screen test then it won’t be a problem, will it? But I know she feels violated by it.’
‘Crap.’
But I had got to him.
‘You know if I go down the station goes down,’ he said.
‘So you keep telling us. But there’s more to life than StoryWorld. I’m telling you how things are going to be. Simon will be promoted to assistant producer and becomes my deputy. I get a dedicated features crew one day a week. Ziggy is training to be a digital technician. The next job that comes up in that area goes to her.’
He stared at me and I knew that he was calculating how he could thwart me.
‘Impossible. I give you what you want and it screws the news budget,’ he said.
‘Tough. There are cheaper ways to deliver news. It’s non-negotiable.’
It was strange but I thought I detected a gleam of admiration in his eyes.
I walked downstairs back towards the gallery. I was shaking and sat in the atrium for five minutes to compose myself. For too many years I have placated and flattered and negotiated my way through conflict at StoryWorld. He had abused his power and had to be challenged, but I hadn’t played by my rules. I had blackmailed him. Earlier I’d tried to play it straight when I sent my email to Saul Relph and that had backfired. No, I had played by different rules this time, men’s rules. The feeling of power it gave me felt heady and alarming. I entered the gallery and watched the rest of the show as my heart settled into a normal rhythm.
I chose my moment to talk to Harriet and Ziggy. Simon and Molly had left for lunch when I asked them to join me in my room. As they walked in I saw them exchange nervous glances.
‘I watched it last night. It’s vile what he made you do and I told him this morning that I’m onto him and his si
ck little tricks.’
Harriet looked relieved and Ziggy giggled nervously.
‘I wish I could have been there when you told him that,’ Harriet said.
‘If he ever makes any approach to either of you again you come and tell me at once. OK?’
They both nodded.
‘He will never know how we got hold of it or that you are the hero, Ziggy,’ I said.
‘Yes, you are,’ Harriet agreed.
‘But not a word to anyone, ever, and we’re going to put it behind us.’
*
It was mid-afternoon when Fizzy called me. She was nearly sobbing as she said: ‘I’ve started to bleed.’
This time we got a taxi. There was no time to do anything else. She told the driver to take us to a private clinic on Harley Street. While we were sitting in the back of the cab she was whispering that she’d felt wetness between her legs and had checked. The blood was bright red and sort of clotty.
‘Am I having a miscarriage?’
She was almost whimpering in her distress and glancing anxiously through the glass at the cab driver. It sounded bad.
‘We’ll be there soon,’ I said.
The clinic leapt into action as soon as we arrived and Fizzy was taken away to have an ultrasound scan. I was shown into a discreet softly furnished waiting room with copies of Country Life, The Lady and the Financial Times on the table. I called Simon and told him I wouldn’t be back for the rest of the day and he needed to deputise for me. I wondered what was happening with Fizzy. Was there anything the doctors can do once a woman has started bleeding? Her terror means that she wants this baby and she might be losing it.
It was ages later when the receptionist told me I could join Miss Wentworth in her private room. Fizzy was lying flat in the bed with her feet raised and her face was white.
‘They gave me a scan and baby is still moving. The consultant asked me if I had any pain in my shoulders.’
‘And do you?’
‘No. What was that about?’
‘I don’t know. Did you ask him?’
Fizzy shook her head.
‘I’m so frightened. I think it’s touch and go. Will you stay with me?’
‘Of course I will.’
It was going to be another late night away from home. Eventually Fizzy dozed off and when the nurse came in to check on her I asked her about the pain in the shoulders question.
‘It’s a symptom of ectopic pregnancy and your friend is all clear on that front,’ the nurse said.
‘And the baby will be OK?’
The nurse would not be drawn. I think they are told that you mustn’t commit yourself one way or the other.
Around seven I put in a call to Janis and Fizzy must have woken up and heard me telling Janis to put Flo into a taxi to Harley Street. She was shaking her head as I was speaking into the phone.
‘Why are you doing that? It’s our secret, Liz.’
‘I can’t leave Flo alone for another evening. I can’t. I won’t tell her what’s wrong with you. Please be calm, Fizz.’
‘How can I be calm?’
‘Shhh now...’
‘What will you tell her?’
‘I’ll think of something.’
I poured her a class of water and stroked her arm as she took the glass.
‘I’ll say you’re having your tonsils out. I’m going downstairs now to wait for Flo, OK.’
It was dark outside and the street lamps were glowing yellow. I saw people walking by with what looked like Christmas shopping. I had seen the Christmas lights blazing from shop windows as we had driven towards the clinic and in one window I had spotted a nativity scene. It felt an age ago that I had left home to travel to work and had had that showdown with Julius. I had hardly eaten anything all day and could feel the vein in my right temple throbbing which told me a headache was coming. When Flo arrived I would send her out to get us some sandwiches from the café around the corner. It was going to be a late night.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
DECEMBER
StoryWorld TV station, London Bridge
As I was about to go into the gallery to watch the show I got a call from Fizzy from her room in the clinic.
‘The bleeding stopped completely around midnight.’
‘Thank God for that.’
Flo and I had left at eleven when Fizzy was sleeping. The bleeding had slowed down and the nurse had said it was safe for us to go and she would ring me if Fizzy’s condition worsened.
‘He said baby’s OK. But I’ve got to rest up till the weekend. I’m going to stay here for a couple more days. Will you tell Julius I’ll be back on Monday?’ Fizzy said.
‘Course I will. Now you take it easy and I’ll come and see you after work,’ I said.
Fizzy rarely misses a show and I was glad that at last she was putting the baby first.
Ledley sat in for Fizzy and presented the show. He did a brilliant interview with Dirk about what life was like post-amputation. He was able to ask quite intimate questions without appearing to be intrusive. Next up it was Betty who was discussing divorce as her Life Crisis topic of the day. Again Ledley performed well and his discussion with her was thoughtful.
As the credits were rolling I asked the director: ‘What did you think of Ledley?’
‘Terrific. He’s got the range, hasn’t he?’
‘That’s what I thought.’
And then it came to me that Ledley can stand in for Fizzy while she is on maternity leave. She would find it a lot easier to accept a man doing her role temporarily than another woman. It would be great to have Ledley as the main anchor for a few months. He is such an easy man to work with.
At the morning meeting I told Julius that Fizzy would be away till the end of the week. Bob’s behaviour was weird. He completely lost it over a news story that had been pulled at short notice by Julius. The story was about a company that had been named and shamed for its refusal to pay the minimum wage and for its record on tax evasion. It was hard-hitting and there followed a tense exchange between Bob and Julius about who should have the final editorial say over news stories.
‘As news editor I know what’s making the day’s agenda. There’s a report out at noon today on this company and it will be everywhere. We got it early.’
‘And as director of programmes I can pull a story if I think it will damage the station’s profitability,’ Julius said.
‘You’re saying they’re planning to advertise with us?’ Bob asked.
‘There’s a good chance they will, yes.’
Julius gets to have the last word, of course, and Bob looked disgusted but he shut up at that. I recalled Fizzy telling me he had been incandescent when he found out that she hadn’t had the termination. The strain is getting to him and this is the first time I have seen him confront Julius so directly. Julius asked to see me straight after the meeting. We walked in silence to his office and once in there we were exceedingly formal with each other.
‘I would be grateful if you would enlighten me on the full story about Fizzy’s condition,’ he said.
In the past Julius would have contacted her himself so I think there must be a rift between them at the moment. He had advised Fizzy to have an abortion so maybe that was the cause of their current coolness.
‘The doctor said she’ll be all right in a few days but we need to give her time to fully recover.’
‘You knew about the pregnancy, of course,’ he said.
‘Yes.’
His use of the past tense made me realise that he thinks Fizzy is away having her termination and this is why she isn’t on air. She’s keeping her cards very close to her chest.
‘And has she told you who the father was?’
‘No, and it’s not my business to enquire.’
‘Oh, but it is if it’s going to affect her future performance,’ he said.
‘Fizzy is a professional to the tips of her toes and will be back on Monday,’ I said.
‘OK.’
/>
‘Have you signed the paperwork about the feature crew and Simon’s promotion?’
‘I’ll do it today,’ he said.
You’d better, I thought, because I have that purple memory stick at home.
*
I went for lunch with Betty and Simon. We had arranged it last week and I was pleased to get out of the station. I had booked us into an Italian restaurant near Tower Bridge. I ordered the rigatoni puttanesca, my all-time favourite sauce as I love the combination of tomato, anchovies, black olives and capers. Betty had selected cannelloni with a side order of courgettes in batter.
‘We’ve been getting a good reaction to your series,’ I said.
She had asked for garlic bread too and now lifted the plate and offered me a slice.
‘Thanks. I was worried that the title might put people off but your instinct was spot on.’ I added.
‘Thank you, I’m pleased with how it’s going and Simon has been such a help throughout.’
I looked over at Simon as he tucked into his pizza with extra pepperoni. I was looking forward to telling him that he would be promoted to my deputy. I plan to give him the title of assistant producer and it will mean a pay rise for him and he deserves it. It will be a less easy task telling Molly about the changes to the team structure as there has always been a healthy competition between the two of them. But I did have the fact of a weekly features crew which she can use for her stories and I hoped this would sweeten the message. I felt cheerful. It had been a horrible couple of months but we were coming out of it with my position strengthened and my team intact.
Simon had to leave before us and Betty and I stayed on to have coffee.
‘Is Fizzy all right?’ she asked me.
‘She’s poorly and won’t be in for a couple of days.’
‘I know she’s poorly at the moment, but I was wondering if there was something else going on?’ Betty said.