Impulsive

by Jeana E. Mann

  Tasha moved away from his touch. “The wine’s pretty good, but you’re a douchebag,” she replied, unable to hold back her irritation another second.

  He choked on a mouthful of wine, sputtering and coughing. Any other time, she would’ve thumped him on the back and asked if he was okay. Today, she did nothing but sip her wine while he groped for a napkin to wipe away the tears in his eyes. Served him right. Let the bastard choke on his assholery.

  “Me? What did I do?” His voice rasped over the words. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Did I miss something?” The light tone of his voice and the half smile playing on his lips suggested he thought she was joking. Before she could reply, he glanced back to Caroline.

  “Seriously, Jameson.” With a sigh, she set her wine glass on the table and studied his profile in the late afternoon light. Strong and clean-cut features, straight nose, square jaw. The door opened, and the ensuing breeze ruffled the collar of his button-down shirt, revealing the curly black hairs there. A moment of clarity descended upon her, and she saw the truth. He was so fucking normal while she was so fucking…not. This was going to be much more difficult than she’d anticipated. “If you don’t know, then you’re dumber than I thought.”

  “What? Tell me.” The smile fell from his expression, and his eyes darkened with concern.

  “Honestly, I’m about two seconds from punching you in the nuts.” They stared at each other. Every passing second cut her like a razor blade.

  “You are so frustrating.” He growled deep in his throat. “I just can’t win with you.” His sincere distress softened her anger but only a little.

  “You know, I just remembered I have something important to do.” The legs of her chair scraped across the floor as she pushed back from the table and stood. She gulped down the remaining wine in her glass and set the goblet on the table in front of him.

  “Like what?” The amber eyes narrowed suspiciously.

  “Like none of your business,” she replied in her best haughty tone.

  “You came all the way down here to drink one glass of wine and leave after ten minutes? I don’t believe you.”

  “I came all the way down here to see you. I can drink wine anywhere. And it’s been three glasses and forty minutes, but you wouldn’t know because you’ve been too busy ignoring me.” She shook her head, biting back feelings of disappointment and betrayal.

  “I didn’t invite you here, so you can’t be mad at me,” he retorted. His patronizing tone ignited her anger. “I told you this was a work thing.”

  “Yes, you did. This was a bad fucking move on my part. It won’t happen again.”

  “I’ll walk you out,” he said and started to rise with her, but she stopped him with an outstretched hand and a glare.

  “No.” She placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back into his chair, the beat of his heart strong against her palm. “I mean it. Stay and schmooze with your co-workers.” Overwhelmed by exhaustion and wine, she shook her head and drew in a deep breath to settle her temper. When she spoke again, it was with measured calm and resignation. “Go have a good time, Luke. I’ll talk to you later. It wasn’t important anyway.”

  A furrow formed between his brows. She didn’t wait for him to reply, and he didn’t try to follow her. As she pushed through the crowd, curious glances and whispered comments followed her. A group of college boys, clad in polo shirts and deck shoes, snickered and pointed at her. She straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin, and strode out of Winona’s Wine Bar like the fucking awesome chick she was. Untoward remarks had never bothered her before. They vetted her celebration of individuality and an alternative lifestyle. She paused long enough to glare at the fucktards, ready to give them a piece of her mind, but bit back the scathing remark on her lips. Instead, she waved down a passing taxi and slid into the back seat, feeling empty and disappointed. The cab pulled away from the curb, and despite the weight of Luke’s gaze, she never looked back.

  Chapter 25

  Luke scraped his chair away from the table and started after Tasha, but his boss stopped him. He watched her disappear out the door, saw the college kids harass her, and his fist clenched with the need to hit one of them.

  “What the hell, Mr. Jameson?” Mr. Belden said. Even though they were the same age, his boss insisted on the formal address. “I need you at our table.”

  Through the glass storefront, he watched with a growing sense of panic as Tasha hailed a cab and disappeared into the backseat. They needed to talk. The estrangement between them was killing him with every passing minute. She hated this wine bar, yet she’d come all the way down here to see him, and he’d acted like a jerk. Not on purpose. Seeing Caroline had thrown him off balance. He knew through mutual acquaintances she frequented the city, but he never expected to see her again. Belden breathing down his neck didn’t help either.

  “I really need to go,” Luke said, returning his attention to his boss. “Something’s come up.”

  “Bullshit.” Belden took him by the elbow and turned him toward his table. “See those people over there? There’s your fucking emergency. Our clients. I need you at that table and focused on your job, or you can find another place to work.”

  Luke stared at his boss and contemplated doing just that. The guy treated him like shit on the best of days, insisting he clean the toilets when the maintenance man had quit, forcing him to pick up his laundry and buy gifts for his girlfriend and wife—the cheating bastard. The only reason Luke put up with it was for the money. Until he could find a better job, he’d have to suck it up.

  Two hours later, from the sidewalk in front of Tasha’s apartment building, Luke stared at the entrance doors and scowled. He paced back and forth a few times, his stomach in a knot. Should he go up? He’d seen the flare of anger in her eyes and sensed the disappointment in her words. What if she wouldn’t see him? What if she wanted to end their friendship? The idea of not having her in his life made his temples throb.

  Mr. Corbett from the seventh floor, arms laden with groceries, interrupted his ruminations. He opened the door for the old man then offered to carry the heavy bags upstairs for him. Once he reached the seventh floor, it only seemed sensible to go the additional story to Tasha’s floor. He blew out a heavy breath, ran a hand through his hair, and summoned courage to ring the doorbell.

  Tasha opened the door. At the sight of him, her hands went to her hips, and she scowled. “What do you want, Jameson?” The disappointment in her voice scalded him. Knowing he’d disappointed her hurt more than he could ever have imagined.

  “I came to see why your panties were in such a twist earlier.” He pushed past her and into the apartment, assuming his normal air of easygoing nonchalance, afraid she’d see how much he cared.

  “I’m not wearing panties,” she said. “And even when I was, they weren’t twisted.”

  Automatically, his eyes drifted downward. She wore a blue silk kimono embroidered with multi-colored dragons. The hem skimmed her toned thighs. The light fabric whispered with each step she took away from him, teasing and taunting him. She caught the direction of his gaze and emitted a low growl of irritation. He jerked his attention back to her face, searching her eyes. With all of the makeup washed from her face, there was no barrier to hide her emotions. And by the flash of hazel irises, she was some combination of frustrated, irritated, or pissed.

  “I’m serious, Tash. You lit out of the wine bar like you were on fire.”

  “You didn’t want me there. I didn’t want to be there anymore. It seemed like the best answer to an awkward situation.” The scents of incense and roses wafted in her wake. He followed her into the kitchen, where she leaned a hip against the oven, crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at him. An unreasonable urge to take her face in his hands and kiss away the furrow between her brows made his fingers curl.

  “I’m sorry. I was an asshole,” he said, trying to convey his sincerity in expression and tone. “You just took me by surprise. I never expected to
see you there. You hate things like that.”

  “You don’t have to explain. I get it.” She looked away from him, eyes glittering in the glow of the overhead light. The graceful lines of her body and delicate features of her face drew his gaze and reminded him how beautiful she was.

  “Then explain it to me,” he said. “Because I don’t get it at all.” Against his better reasoning, he crossed the distance between them in two strides and gripped her shoulders. “Make me understand.”

  The hazel gaze met his with the boldness he loved. He steeled himself for whatever she might say next, certain he wasn’t going to like it.

  “You could’ve introduced me to your co-workers.”

  The accusation slammed him in the forehead. He quickly ran through his actions for the afternoon and felt a flush of shame creep up his neck. His desire to keep her away from Belden had been purely selfish. He didn’t want her to see how poorly Belden treated him, embarrassed over his shitty job. In retrospect, it probably looked like something entirely different to her, like he’d been ashamed of her.

  “I don’t know. You didn’t look very interested.” A shit excuse if he’d ever heard one. It was his turn to look away. He released her arms and leaned against the kitchen island, putting emotional and physical distance between them. Her prior rejection filled him with an unreasonable urge to start an argument.

  “That’s not true and you know it. You didn’t introduce me because you were embarrassed to be seen with me.” The pretty lips twisted in a humorless smile. “Admit it, Luke. You know it’s true.”

  Her words pissed him off, made him want to drive a fist into the wall. He crossed his arms over his chest and studied the walnut grain of the cabinet door above the refrigerator, desperate for distraction. Maybe, in some small way, she was right. The conservative company he worked for wouldn’t appreciate her edginess the way he did, and they sure as hell wouldn’t look at him the same way after meeting her. His foothold in the company was tenuous at best. Belden would love to find a reason to let him go.

  “You made me feel ashamed of who I am. No one has made me feel that way in a long, long time.” Hearing her say it out loud made him sound like a shallow prick. His chest ached knowing he’d hurt her, even unintentionally.

  “You’re perfect, and I wouldn’t have you any other way,” he said. A sudden surge of need brought him to stand in front of her. “I didn’t introduce you because my boss is an asshole and he treats me like I’m an idiot. I was embarrassed, but about me, not you.”

  The hard edge of her jaw softened a bit. “Keep going.”

  “I saw those guys giving you a hard time when you left. I wanted to knock their lights out, and I would’ve, but my boss stopped me.”

  She rolled her eyes. The sparkle had returned to them. “Those guys can kiss my ass. The only person whose opinion matters is yours.”

  Chapter 26

  Luke sat on the edge of her sofa, hands clasped between his knees, his soft eyes brooding and contemplative. She sat in the armchair across from him and studied her hands. After the faceoff in the kitchen, they’d moved to the living room. The clock in the kitchen ticked away the seconds like an apocalyptic countdown. He shoved a hand through his hair.

  “This is weird, isn’t it?” he asked.

  “Yeah.” They’d moved past the incident at the wine bar, but there were so many more things to be said. Neither of them seemed to know where to start. Another minute ticked past. Finally, she said, “So what’s the deal with you and Elijah? I don’t get it.”

  “We’ve got a ton of history. And it’s complicated. I know you think he’s an ass and sometimes he is, but he’s not a bad guy. When we were kids, his parents left him alone all the time. He spent more time at my house than his own. Then I went to college, we got a house on campus together.” A wry smile twisted his mouth.

  “I had no idea you knew him so well.”

  He shrugged and looked away. “I haven’t seen him in a few years. He’s on the road all the time. People change, grow apart.”

  “Did something happen between you?”

  Luke shook his head and stared at his hands clasped between his knees. “The more popular his band became, the wilder we got. We were having huge parties every weekend, drinking too much, acting crazy. Things got out of hand one night, and we got in an argument. He moved out, got famous. I graduated and got a job.” His eyes flicked up to meet hers. “I love the guy like a brother. And sometimes when you love a person, you just gotta accept them for who they are—warts and all.”

  She thought of her father and his affairs, her crazy sisters and their drama, her mother and her constant need for attention. None of them were perfect. She wasn’t perfect either, but they still loved and accepted her.

  “I admire him for making a success out of nothing. And I know if I ever needed something, he’d help me anyway he could. Friends like that don’t come around every day,” he said. His hand found hers and squeezed.

  “I know,” she whispered. Emotion tightened her throat. She understood. It was the way she felt about Luke.

  “He might be famous, but he’s a good guy. He’s just got a fucked-up way of showing it.” His thumb traced a lazy circle on the back of her hand.

  “I get it,” she said after a minute. Her heart skipped a beat with every swipe of his thumb.

  “What about you?” he asked. “I thought Elijah would have told you all this. He said you were pretty tight.”

  The curious mix of interest and dread on his features swamped her with guilt. Her gaze dropped to her feet. She’d done nothing wrong, and yet, she felt as if she’d betrayed him. She picked imaginary pieces of lint from the armchair, anything to avoid looking him in the eye.

  “It’s not like that,” she said. “I like Elijah. He’s kind of broken, and part of me wants to fix him.”

  “When I saw you at his hotel room? It killed me.” The sour note in Luke’s voice made her stomach knot. She looked up and found his gaze, desperate to reassure him.

  “I didn’t know we were going there. I thought we are going to a restaurant.” Sudden thirst dried her mouth. She swept her tongue over her lower lip.

  The pain in his voice made her chest ache. “I know I haven’t got any right to complain, but I didn’t like it.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyelids. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  Luke’s broad chest swelled with his intake of breath. He stepped closer, and she caught a whiff of his cologne. His hand swept down her forearm and slid into the palm, his fingers tangling with hers. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers.

  “Did you fuck him?” he whispered.

  “No. Of course not.” A flutter of anxiety made her heart pounded her ribs.

  “Did you want to fuck him?” The tip of Luke’s nose slid down the side of hers.

  “No. Yes. Maybe.” She was breathing hard now. A small part of her found Elijah hypnotic. Luke took another step closer until she felt the brush of his pecs across her breasts. “He kissed me, not the other way around.”

  His hands rested lightly on her hips. They dug into her flesh upon hearing her confession. Hungry, masterful, and proprietary. “We can’t keep pretending there’s nothing between us, Tasha.” The connection tightened between them. “I can’t stop thinking about you, but I’m not going to beg.”

  “I know.” The erratic beating of her heart filled her ears. Surely, he could hear it too. “I don’t know if I can be with you the way you want.” She ducked her head, too overcome with feeling to put them into words. “But I really missed you.”

  “We don’t have to be in a relationship. It can be one day at a time, if you want,” he said, and trailed his lips along the line of her jaw. “I don’t need you to give me any more than you’re willing. I’ll take whatever you offer.”

  With her face cupped between his palms, he covered her mouth with his. Their tongues tangled in a dance. Why had she rejecte
d his kiss at the pool? In retrospect, her hesitation seemed unwarranted. The warmth of his lips blotted out the objections, the insecurities, and the denial.

  “Oh God, Luke,” she murmured.

  She buried her fingers in the strands of his hair. His hands slid from her face to hold her bottom, pressing her into the hard ridge behind the fly of his jeans. The heat and strength of his touch made her breath come short. They stumbled into the bedroom, connected by their kiss. When she fell into the nightstand and overturned the lamp, he kicked it aside, swept her into his arms, and tossed her onto the bed.

  “Clothes off,” he commanded in a hoarse voice. He tugged his shirt over his head. “No more playing around. I want you.” She rose to her knees and untied the belt of her robe. Luke’s eyes dragged over her, their gold irises warm and liquid like caramel.

  With their next breath, he moved onto the bed with her, covering her with his broad chest, pushing her down. His hands whisked away the robe and in no time, she was naked beneath him. The coarse fabric of his jeans scraped against her bare belly and thighs. She fumbled over the button and slid down the zipper. Using her feet and hands, she tugged the denim over his hips. He rolled to the side to help her.

  Their legs tangled together. Hands and fingers gripped and roamed. The slide of his palms over her sensitized skin coiled her desire. She arched beneath him, her breasts pressed against his hard chest. The taste of peppermint on his tongue and the familiar scent of his soap and cologne reminded her how much she missed him.

  “I don’t have any condoms with me,” he rasped, tearing his mouth away from hers. “Do you have one?”

  “Yes. Nightstand.”

  While he fumbled in the drawer, she stroked a hand down the length of his torso, letting her fingertips flit over the dip and swell of his abs. She dropped a kiss on his left nipple. The sharp intake of his breath rewarded her. And then he was on top of her again, the tip of his cock poised at her entrance.