They made love, slow and unhurried. When they finished, they dressed and made their way back to the house under a starless sky. By this time, the party was in full swing. They crept in through the kitchen entrance and went to the guest room Elijah had offered. Exhausted from too much sun, liquor, and sex, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
In the early morning hours, Tasha awoke from a disturbing nightmare with sweat on her upper lip and heart palpitating in her chest. She blinked at the unfamiliar surroundings. Her head pulsed with the beginnings of a hangover. Heat flushed her cheeks as she remembered the way Luke had claimed her in the boathouse and again two more times in this very room. She reached for him, but the bed beside her was empty, the sheets cool.
“Luke?”
She waited for an answer and heard nothing but the music from the party. The adjoining bathroom door was open, the room black. A distant flash of lightning illuminated the room. It was empty. Seconds later, thunder growled.
Thinking he might be hungry, she went downstairs to the kitchen. Empty beer cans and bottles littered the floors. Bodies draped across flat surfaces, some on the furniture, some on the carpet. She hurried through the living room and dining room without heed, the marble tile cool and unforgiving beneath her feet. Not finding Luke anywhere, she went back up the stairs, taking them two at a time. All of the windows were open on the lakeside. The gauzy curtains fluttered on cool wind scented with sand and rain. The fabric clung to her like clutching hands as she streaked past.
She slid around the corner of the upstairs hall and came to a halt at the threshold of Elijah’s room. The door was half open, the room couched in flickering shadows cast by dozens of candles. A low groan drifted on the air, followed by a sigh of pleasure. She stiffened and froze in place, unable to look away, the impending storm forgotten.
Elijah reclined on the chaise at the foot of his bed, legs sprawling over the end of the burnished brown leather. His head tipped backward, exposing the column of his neck. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and heavy lids drooped over darkened eyes.
“Deeper,” he said. His voice rasped over the word and raised shivers along her back. He shifted a little, and her eyes followed the movement past the open front of his shirt, over the curling chest hairs and tattoos, to the trail of hair leading southward into the open fly of his jeans. His fingers fisted in the curly hair of a guy kneeling on the floor between his legs, guiding the other man’s mouth to take him in further. Angel stretched like a cat at Elijah’s side, one bare leg draped over his thigh. She kissed and nipped and licked Elijah’s ear while he fondled one of her heavy breasts. Hands groped. Bodies undulated in a slow, seductive dance.
The scene reeked of decadence. For a second, Tasha felt transported to another world, like a spectator watching a choreographed theatrical performance. Lightning flashed outside the open French doors of Elijah’s bedroom, illuminating the players and revealing their secrets. Immediate darkness followed. The hall light flickered and extinguished. The downstairs music stopped. The candle flames danced in hypnotic chaos.
Elijah’s eyes flew open and met hers. He didn’t blink or flinch, just stared as if daring her to speak. One corner of his mouth curled up in a smile dripping with sin. He placed both hands in the guy’s hair and gripped it tight, jerking his hips up. A low growl ripped from his throat.
“Are you watching or joining us?” Elijah asked. It took a second for Tasha to realize he was speaking to her. “There’s always room for one more, but I’m good either way.”
“Yes,” said Angel, curled around his side like an anaconda. She motioned to Tasha with a graceful hand tipped in long, blood-red fingernails like talons on a vulture. “Four is better.”
Apprehension and fascination warred inside Tasha. She swallowed hard. A rush of crimson heat crept up her neck and into her cheeks. The needle of her moral compass spun out of control from time to time, but this panorama far exceeded anything her mind could have concocted. Her feet remained glued to the floor. She stood in the doorway, unable to look away and unable to go.
“Ah, well…another time, maybe.” Elijah sighed and closed his eyes, dismissing her, releasing her from his hypnotic grasp.
Tasha spun on her bare feet and ran to the bedroom. She shut the door behind her, disappointed there was no lock. Rain pelted the windows with a sound like popping corn. She dove into the bed, where she curled into a ball, knees clasped to her chest as if protecting her heart, feeling like she’d narrowly escaped losing her soul.
In the morning, she found Luke asleep beside her. He lay on his side facing her, one hand on her hip, the other tucked beneath the pillow. She dropped a light kiss on the tip of his nose. She was tempted to wake him but decided to let him sleep. Instead, she took a shower before dressing and headed downstairs.
The only vestiges of the storm were scattered leaves and twigs on the patio. A few stragglers remained from the party, passed out on sofas and rugs. A bright, hot sun lit a cloudless blue sky. Still feeling unsettled from the night before, Tasha grabbed a book from the library, something light and frivolous to wash away the dirt left in her mind by Elijah’s sexcapade, and relaxed onto a lounger by the pool.
The heat of the sun warmed her cool skin. Normally, she would’ve worn her bikini, but today she felt too raw and too exposed to willingly bare herself. Instead, she wore a halter-top, cut-off denim shorts, and a pair of black sunglasses.
The book was good and before long, she was immersed in a fantastic tale of witches and lions and magical lands. Despite her fascination with the tale, she knew Elijah was there before he spoke.
“Good morning,” Elijah said, even though it was almost two o’clock in the afternoon. He strode onto the patio wearing only a purple silk robe cinched loosely at the waist and a devilish grin. The breeze from the lake caught the hem of the fabric. It fluttered open to reveal naked thighs corded with muscle and dusted with blond hair.
She pushed the bridge of her sunglasses higher up her nose, grateful he couldn’t see her eyes, and returned her gaze to the book. “If you say so,” she replied and turned the page.
He sat at the table near her feet facing her, a plate of fresh fruit in front of him. She ignored his amused stare. Silence stretched between them, broken only by the distant sound of waves lapping the shore of the lake and the twitter of playful birds in the grass.
“Sleep well?” he asked between mouthfuls of papaya and pineapple. He looked amazingly normal in the daylight. A small scar above his upper lip marred otherwise perfect skin, and scruffy stubble covered his square jaw.
“Nope,” she replied. “But thanks for asking.” His throaty chuckle prickled the hair on her arms. “So where are your friends?” Overwhelming curiosity made her ask, although she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.
“They’re not my friends,” he replied. His eyes, which had been warm and the same color as the sky, became gray and shuttered.
“Well, they certainly seemed friendly enough,” she replied and read the same paragraph again while he mulled this over.
“They’re hookers,” he said. “I don’t like emotional entanglements. Too messy. It’s easier to pay for it. That way everyone gets what they want.”
Her strangled snort brought a burst of laughter from him. She snapped her book shut, unable to continue the pretense of reading, and studied him for a long moment. He stared back with enigmatic eyes.
“You’re, like, the most famous dude on the planet, and you can’t get laid without paying for it? There is something seriously wrong with that.”
“I didn’t pay for you, did I?” His observation stung like the lash of a whip. While she choked down the hurt, he continued. “I can get laid anytime I want. Sometimes I choose to pay for it, because, like I said, it’s cleaner that way. Everyone knows exactly what they’re getting into.” He popped the last chunk of pineapple into his mouth then dusted his hands together.
Even though she knew better than to continue along this t
opic, several questions burned in her mind. “So how, exactly, does one procure these kind of services? I’m curious.”
By the gleam in his eyes, her curiosity pleased him. He leaned toward her, elbows resting on his thighs, hands clasped between his knees. “Gabe takes care of all that. He has a few regulars under contract. They’ve all signed non-disclosures, been tested for communicable diseases, and have skills in the various areas necessary. All I have to do is send a text message, and I can have someone within the hour.”
She raised her eyebrows, and he smiled. “What about us?” she asked. “You. Me. Luke. What was that all about?”
“There is no you, me, and Luke. It was just a little interlude for your benefit. Luke asked me to do it, and I agreed as a birthday present to him.”
The coldness in his tone sent a shiver down her back and filled her with hurt. Tears stung her eyes and she blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. This was the guy she’d first met, the rock star without a conscience. She opened her book again and scanned the page for where she’d left off, the pages blurring.
“You remember when I said I didn’t feel sorry for you? Well, I’ve changed mind,” she said.
“Really?” He leaned forward, hooked a finger in the spine of her book, and pulled it down so he could see her face. The mischief and mayhem in his eyes sent a thrill and chill of foreboding down her spine. “And why is that?”
She set the book on her lap, pulled down her sunglasses, and met his gaze. Attraction and conflict sizzled and popped between them. He smiled, but there was no warmth in it. The loss of it saddened her. This wasn’t the guy she’d come to know. This was a stranger, and she didn’t like him.
“The whole world worships you like you’re some kind of perfect being, yet here you are, buying sex because you don’t want the mess of an emotional connection with someone.” She shook her head and picked up the book again. “That, my friend, is seriously fucked up.”
“Well, I guess we’ve got that in common.”
From behind the protection of her sunglasses, she watched him frown and sit back in his chair. Even though the sun was blazing, a shadow covered his face. His gaze bored into her like twin ice picks. She set her jaw and pretended not to notice. After a few uncomfortable minutes, he stood and stalked into the house, leaving her alone in the sunshine.
Luke rounded the corner of the stairs, and Tasha crashed into him. The book in her hands fell to the floor. He caught her by the elbows to steady her. The expression of alarm on her face chilled him.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. When she wouldn’t look at him, he put a finger beneath her chin and tilted her face up to his. Her hazel eyes, usually so clear and bright, were clouded.
“I want to go home,” she said and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest.
“Are you okay? Don’t you feel well?” He smoothed a hand over her hair. Her body trembled beneath his touch. Worry tightened his chest.
“I’m fine. I just want to leave.” When her face tipped up to his again, the need to protect her overwhelmed him. “Please.”
“Okay.” He drew in a deep breath and gave her a reassuring smile. “Let me go get Elijah. We’ll have to borrow a car or have somebody drop us.” Her smile eased a little of his concern, but the shadow in her eyes continued to trouble him.
She went off to collect her things while he tried to track down Elijah. He found him alone in the study, staring out the window at the crowd gathering by the pool. Apparently, they’d caught their second wind and were preparing for another night of drunken debauchery. Rock music and laughter filtered through the open windows.
“We’re leaving, man,” Luke said. “Can you get us a ride back or loan us a car?”
Elijah didn’t turn around. “You don’t want to leave yet. The party’s just getting started. It’s going to be kick ass.” His voice sounded strange and thick.
“Yeah. We’re out,” Luke said. “I think Tasha’s had enough.”
“Well, send her back. I’ll have Tony or one of the guys drive her. You can stay. We’ll hang out. It’ll be like old times.” Elijah turned to face him, eyes bright, his jaw tight.
“If she goes, I go,” Luke replied. “We’re a package deal.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured that out.” They stared at each other for a beat, the silence uncomfortable between them for the first time in years.
“I think we’ve both had enough,” Luke said. His gaze drifted to the party, the naked girls, the craziness. None of it appealed to him anymore. He just wanted to hang out with Tasha at her apartment and not have to share her with anyone.
“Seriously? You’re turning into an old man.” Elijah’s tone held a note of jest, but his eyes were serious.
Luke studied Elijah. Memories, good and bad, sifted through his mind. Visions of ten year old Elijah, thin and neglected, alone in the house next door for weeks at a time. The way his eyes lit up when Luke’s mother invited him to supper or gave him clothes when his parents failed to care for him. And the way Elijah never believed he was good enough to deserve anything but the worst a person had to offer.
“There’s more to life than drinking and debauchery. Some day you’re going to figure that out.” The music outside grew louder. It was time to go.
“You can take my car , I guess. The keys are in it. I’ll have somebody come get it tomorrow. Or you can bring it back if you want.” Elijah’s voice cracked.
“We both know I’m not coming back,” Luke replied.
***
“Are you ready?” Luke appeared in the doorway to the bedroom, sun-bronzed and handsome. The sight of him filled her with relief and warmth. He smiled at her and held out his hand. “Come on.”
She took his hand. They were halfway to the garage when she stopped. Random thoughts kept shuffling through her mind. Elijah’s eyes watching her kiss Luke. Elijah’s confession at dinner: I tend to hurt the ones who love me most.
“I think I forgot something,” she said. “Can you hang on a second?”
“Sure, I’ll pull the car around front and you can meet me there.” He released her hand, fingers lingering as if he was afraid to let her go. As if she might not come back to him.
She gave him a reassuring smile then ran down the hall to the study. Elijah sat on the floor next to the desk, his back to the wall and a bottle of Jack Daniels clutched in his hands. The vacant look in his eyes frightened her.
“We’re leaving,” she said. She waited for him to say something, but he just sat there, staring at the wall.
“See ya.” He raised the bottle to his lips and tipped it up. The muscles of his throat worked as he swallowed.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Everything. Nothing.” The flatness of his voice rang warning bells.
“Elijah, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m so fucking bored.” Bitterness and anger made his liquid voice sharp. “I’m so fucking bored with this life.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I get it, you know?” The ominous tone of his voice sent a shiver down her back. “Why he loves you…I get it.” For the first time, he raised his gaze to meet hers. The smell of whiskey floated between them.
“You’re not making any sense.”
“He’s not gay. He and I…we never…it was never about us for him. It started out as fun when he was in college. We always shared back then. Luke. Me. Caroline.” His disjointed words came haltingly at first then quicker as if in a rush to escape. “There were others, too. But with you, it’s different. I saw it in his eyes the very first time we met backstage at the concert. For him, it’s all about you. It hurt, the look in his eyes.” He swallowed hard. “Because I knew then that I’d lost him. And I thought if I took you away, maybe I could get him back, but now I see…” One hand reached out to caress her cheek, his fingers cool on her heated skin. “You’re different.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t
.” The bitter note of pain in his laughter squeezed her heart. “Because you don’t play games.” He set the bottle of whiskey between his legs and clutched his head with both hands, pulling at his hair. “And the joke is on me, because I fell in love with you, too.”
The walls of her chest constricted so hard she could barely draw breath. She moved the bottle aside and took him in her arms. He flinched at her touch, but she held him tighter, running a soothing hand down his back. The heat of his breath warmed the crook of her neck, and the thump of his heart beat against her chest.
“I’m sorry, Elijah,” she murmured into his hair. His arms tightened around her.
“You could come away with me,” he said into her neck. “All three of us. We could go anywhere, do anything we want.” He pulled away and studied her face then smiled wistfully. “But you won’t. Like I told Luke, you guys will get married and have tattooed babies, and I’ll be the weird dude who embarrasses everyone at family dinners.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. You don’t have to be like this.”
His bitter laugh made her stomach ache. He was so broken, yet perfect. Everyone wanted to be him but him. “I never told you my secret,” he said. His eyes flicked up to hers, soft and hazy with remorse. “When you did my tat, you told me about your dad, and I promised to tell you a secret in return.” He swallowed hard. “So now you know mine. I’m trusting you not to tell him.”
“I think he already knows,” she said and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. “And just so you know…I love you, too, you crazy fucker.”
She hated to leave him there, alone with his demons, but his struggle had nothing to do with her. Luke was waiting to take her home, and suddenly there was no place she’d rather be.
When Tasha slid into the passenger seat of Elijah’s car, her eyes were strangely bright. Luke studied her for a beat then put the car in gear. They were halfway to the end of the driveway when she put her hand over his. His gaze flicked up to hers, disturbed by the glimmer of tears. She bit her lower lip, her eyes searching his.
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