Lucy’s spirits were lifted by her friend’s kind words. ‘Maybe you’re right! If he wants Paula, let him have her. And when he finally discovers what a cruel tease she is, it will serve him right. And he needn’t think he can run back to me, because I won’t give him the time of day!’
Kathleen was also fired with Lucy’s new enthusiasm. ‘Attagirl! That’s fighting talk.’ And when Lucy now held out her glass for more wine, Kathleen topped it up. ‘Let’s drink to you and me, girl, and to hell with everyone else! We need to be comfortable with who we are. You think you’re dull and lumpy, and I fret because I’d like to be taller and prettier, but who cares? Everybody’s got faults. You’re the way you are, and I’m the way I am. And that’s that!’
‘You’re right, Kathleen!’ The wine had put Lucy in a fighting mood. ‘What does it matter if I am lumpy, and why should I care if my boobies have shrunk to nothing? I’m the only one who ever sees them anyway. Martin certainly isn’t interested. And it’s not my fault they’ve shrunk. It happened after I had the children, and I would not swap them for the world …’ Roaring with laughter, she fell back in the chair. ‘The children, I mean, not the boobies! I’d swap them if I had the chance.’ She rolled her eyes dreamily. ‘I’d like big, pointy ones, with nipples you could hang a hat on!’
Never having heard Lucy talk like that before, Katheen was shocked. ‘Lucy Lovejoy, behave yourself! I reckon the wine’s gone to your head.’
‘Don’t be silly!’ Lucy’s voice was gently slurred. ‘I do not … drink,’ she said haughtily. ‘I’ve never drunk in my life … except at Luke’s christening. And Anne’s wedding. But you know what?’
‘What?’
‘I should get drunk whenever I like. Drunk as a skunk. Then I could stand up to the lot of ’em!’ She suddenly started crying again. ‘I can’t believe that Martin slept with my sister. But I actually caught them … laughing and joking … playing about like two teenagers.’
Taking a deep breath, she was silent for a moment, while, in the wake of Lucy’s sorrow, Kathleen also began to feel tearful.
‘He’s never played about with me like that, ever!’ Lucy went on. ‘They’ve hurt me, Kathleen, Martin and my sister. They’ve hurt me badly. And now I’m lost, and I don’t know which way to turn. I must have deserved it, though, but what did I do wrong? Why has he stopped loving me?’ In her mind she could see the two of them together. ‘They were all over each other, and even when she followed him home to our house – after our parents’ funeral – he must have wanted her there or he never would have let her in.’
‘It was a terrible thing they did.’ Kathleen felt like storming round there and giving them a piece of her mind. But it was not for her to interfere.
‘It was obvious he didn’t want me, so I told him he could have her. Then I packed my case and left. Tell me, Kathleen, what else could I do?’
It seemed like Lucy would burst into tears again. Kathleen wrapped her two chubby arms about her. ‘Ssh, you’ll be all right, Lucy. It might take a time, but things will sort themselves out, you’ll see.’ She held on to Lucy but there was nothing she could say that would take away Lucy’s pain. All she could do was to hold her, and be there for her, as long as it took.
The two of them clung to each other as Lucy described how she had run away. ‘I had a terrible fight with Paula,’ she admitted. ‘She was in my house, with him. She called me names and she said bad things. Shouting at the top of her voice, she was! I’m sure the neighbours must have heard, and I felt so ashamed, Kathleen. And now they both hate me.’
Kathleen had been shocked to the core by the way Lucy had been treated. Never in her wildest dreams would she have guessed Martin and Paula were together in that way. The whole disgusting business must have been a horrible experience for gentle-natured Lucy.
‘I just don’t know what to do,’ Lucy confided. ‘I couldn’t tell Anne the awful truth, so I lied … to my own daughter. I told her that you invited me here, and how I needed a few days to gather my thoughts after everything that’s happened. Oh, Kathleen, what kind of a mother am I, lying to my daughter like that? I even got Anne to lie to her brother. I was glad he wasn’t there when I went round. Thankfully, Sam had gone off somewhere with his friends.’
‘Well, at least that’s a kind of blessing,’ Kathleen assured her. ‘And for what it’s worth, I would have done exactly what you did, kicking Paula out and keeping the truth from the children. There will be time enough for them to find out the truth. One thing at a time, eh?’
‘Yes, I have to deal with it the best way I can. I’m hoping Martin will do the same and keep his sordid affair from the children, at least for now. Meantime, I want to put as much distance between myself and Martin as possible. I need to think it through, and then decide what I should do.’
Even as she said that she felt like a coward for having run away. ‘Maybe I should go back now, and talk everything through with Martin. What do you think, Kathleen? Should I go back and have it out with the pair of them, once and for all?’
Kathleen was hesitant to intervene in what could be a broken marriage in the making. ‘I can’t tell you what to do, Lucy,’ she decided. ‘All I can do is say what I would do if I was in your shoes.’
‘Tell me then. What would you do?’
‘Hmm … let me see. Firstly, I certainly would not go back with my tail between my legs.’
‘So, what would you do?’
‘Right! Well, number one, like you said, I might go back and have it out with the pair of them. And even if it resulted in me losing my marriage, then so be it. I mean, it can’t have been much of a marriage if the husband feels the need to sleep with another woman, whoever she might be!’
‘And the other thing you would do?’ Lucy urged.
‘You might not like it.’
‘It doesn’t matter. Tell me all the same.’
‘If I still loved him, I might try and win him back.’
Lucy was unsure about that one. ‘If he didn’t want me before, how could I possibly win him back? I’m still the same woman he rejected. I haven’t changed.’
‘So why not change then? Take a leaf out of your sister’s book. Show him that you can be as attractive and exciting as Paula.’
‘That’s impossible! All my life I’ve tried to be more like Paula, but it never happened, and it never will. Me and her, we’re like chalk and cheese.’
Kathleen, however, was adamant. ‘Listen to me! First of all, throw out most of your old clothes. Then go and buy two new garments. One for bed, and one for going out. You must try them on in the shop, and they must not look anything like the clothes already in your wardrobe. They must be absolutely different from what you’ve worn in the past. Are you following me, Lucy?’
‘I’m not really sure, but go on.’
‘You must ask the shop assistant what she honestly thinks, and you must tell her how you’re trying to completely change your style, in order to get your man back.’ Kathleen smiled knowingly. ‘These fashion people often like a bit of a challenge. If you’re worried, I’ll come with you. I think I have an idea what you should be looking for, but you’ll need to try on several outfits. I’ll know the right look when I see it.’
Lucy was suddenly excited. ‘And after the new clothes, then what?’
‘Right! Well, the next stop is the hairdresser’s. You want your hair completely restyled … sort of sexy, and very pretty.’
‘All right … and then what?’ Lucy urged her on.
‘Then …’ Kathleen had to think hard, ‘I would trawl the shops for the most attractive pair of shoes you have ever seen – a daring colour, with heels a little higher than you’re used to, but not so high that you can’t walk comfortably in them. Oh, and last of all, go into Woolworths, to the cosmetics counter, and ask the girl to show you the kind of make-up you should be wearing. Tell her that you’re having a complete makeover and that you’re trying to impress your man. Oh! And maybe get some costume jewellery, some
thing like a little butterfly brooch for the shoulder of your new jacket or dress. It will add a bit of class.’
‘Wow!’ Lucy’s head was reeling, and now she could hardly wait to get started.
But then her make-believe world suddenly crashed about her. ‘Oh, no! It can’t be done, Kathleen!’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it will cost money, and I haven’t got anywhere near enough.’
For a moment, having both got carried away with the idea of transforming Lucy into an eye-catching female, they were suddenly dejected.
Kathleen racked her brains and came up with a possible solution. ‘It’s all right! I’ll lend you the money. I’ve got a bit put by. Not a fortune, obviously, but enough to get you looking good … within limits.’
Kathleen had to admit to herself that Lucy was no raving beauty, though she did have a few admirable assets that a bit of style could enhance. ‘Take the money, Lucy. You can pay me back … whenever!’
‘No, Kathleen! I’m really grateful, but I can’t take your money. I have no idea when I can pay you back,’ Lucy objected. ‘Obviously, I’ve managed to scrape together a little money, but it’s just enough to get me away from home and maybe pay for one night in a boarding house. That’s a part of my plan.’
‘That’s madness! You can’t do that. You need to confront Martin. Let him be the one to leave.’
‘No, never mind a makeover, I need a breathing space. I need to put a distance between us, and I won’t waste time thinking about Martin. I’ll be looking for work straight away. I don’t really care what kind of work it is – whether it’s dirty, or with long hours and badly paid. It will be a start, and I’ll do whatever it takes to rebuild my life. My parents are gone, and no doubt my job is lost, along with my marriage. So now, my two children are my main priority.’
Kathleen was amazed at Lucy’s strength. ‘You seem to have it all planned out,’ she told her.
‘I’ve had time enough to think about it,’ Lucy answered softly. ‘Either I will miss Martin desperately and try to get him back, or I might discover that he’s just a part of the life I once had, and there is no place for him in the life I mean to make. Either way, I’ll know soon enough.’ From somewhere deep inside, Lucy realised, she had found a strength she never knew she had.
She felt suddenly rebellious. ‘Come to think of it, why should I change anyway? This is who I am. What you see is what you get, and if it isn’t enough for Martin, then let him have his fancy piece, and good luck to them both.’
‘You don’t really mean that, do you, Lucy?’ Kathleen was surprised. She thought Lucy would have done almost anything to get back the man she loved.
‘Having a new dress, fancy hairdo and bold make-up would have been a real experience, and thank you for suggesting it,’ Lucy answered, ‘but I won’t do it … not for a man who has no need of me any more.’
‘I think the wine’s gone to your head,’ Kathleen remarked, ‘but you’re right. Men, eh? Sod the lot of ’em!’ She replenished their glasses, and again the two of them toasted their independence.
‘So, where might you be off to?’ Kathleen was curious.
‘I’m not sure. I’m not an experienced traveller. I thought of sticking a pin in the map and heading wherever it pointed, but then I realised that would be plain foolish. So I’ve decided to just go down to the station and see where the trains are going. I might head for the coast. That way I’ve got more chance of finding temporary work, if I decide to stay. I just need enough money to carry me through until I find a well-paid regular job.’ She sheepishly admitted, ‘I hadn’t really made any detailed plans. At first, it was just about getting right away from here.’
She sank back into the chair. ‘That’s me all over,’ she went on. ‘Full of ideas, but no proper plan. When Paula wants something, she just goes out and does it. Unlike me, the pitiful ditherer.’
‘You’ve got to stop putting yourself down, Lucy. You should give yourself credit.’ Rather than reprimand her, Kathleen gently reminded her, ‘You’ve had two crippling blows lately. Just one of them would be enough to floor some people, but not you! You’ve stood strong throughout. As always, you’ve been there for the family, and in spite of what Martin and Paula have done to you, you’ve taken it all on the chin. You haven’t buckled under, nor have you given them the satisfaction of knowing how deeply they’ve hurt you. Instead, you’ve made the very difficult decision of moving away to rebuild a broken life. Tell me this, Lucy Lovejoy, how many other women – including your sister – would have the strength and resolve to do that?’
Lucy had no answer. But suddenly she felt proud, and with the pride, and too much wine, came the tears. ‘Thank you. Somehow you make me feel strong. You really are my bestest friend.’
Kathleen raised her glass in another toast. ‘To you, dear Lucy. And I am very proud to be your “bestest” friend.’
The two of them almost leaped out of their skins when the telephone rang. ‘Jeeze!’ Scrambling out of the chair, Katheen hobbled to the hallway, where she picked up the telephone. ‘Who is it?’ A pause, then, ‘Oh, Anne. Hang on a minute, I’ll get her.’ She hurried back into the sitting room. ‘It’s Anne. She’s worried that you didn’t call her.’
‘Oh, crikey!’ Getting out of the chair, Lucy instinctively scraped her hands over her hair and nervously patted her clothes down.
When she picked up the telephone, Anne immediately asked, ‘Mum! Are you all right? It sounds to me like you’ve got a cold coming on.’
Lucy pounced on that idea. ‘You might be right,’ she said, giving another little cough. ‘I’ll be all right, though. Kathleen’s made a kind of toddy for me … hot water and red wine … it seems to be doing the trick.’
Anne laughed. ‘Is it now? Well, just make sure you don’t drink too much of it, or you might keel over. You know you’re not used to wine.’
‘I do know that, and I am being careful.’
Smiling to herself at the other end of the line, Anne changed the subject. ‘I’m calling you because you didn’t call me, so now I know why, don’t I?’
‘Do you?’
‘Yes, and I’m glad that Kathleen is looking after you … even if she is plying you with booze.’
‘Hey! Behave yourself. I can look after myself, thank you.’
‘I know you can. Anyway, how long do you plan to stay there? I’ve already said you can come here and stay with me for as long as you like.’
‘I know that, sweetheart, and it’s a lovely idea, but not just now, eh? I really do need some time away.’
‘Dad’s missing you. Why didn’t you tell him where you were going? He came round here, looking for you. He was worried.’
Lucy had to think quickly. ‘Oh! Sorry … I thought I told him, sweetheart, but you know what he’s like. All he can think of is football, work and darts. Most of the time, he turns a deaf ear.’
‘To tell you the truth, I thought he was upset. I reckon you two have had a row, haven’t you?’
‘No! Well, not exactly a row, but we did have words … about something and nothing.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Exactly what it says. I can’t remember, it was so trivial. I’m sure you and Les have words and then later, you can’t even recall what it was all about.’
‘But Dad’s really missing you, Mum. He seemed on edge to me.’
‘Did you tell him where I was?’
‘Yes. You didn’t say not to, did you? He was just a bit worried about you. Are you cross with me? Was I supposed to keep it a secret?’
‘No! Of course not. Stop fretting. I’ll call him.’
‘All right, Mum, but if you need to get away from everything, just tell him that. Tell him you need some quiet time to yourself. I’m sure he’ll understand. Besides, it’ll do him good to look after himself for a few days … or however long it takes. I’m more worried about you, though. We all know how devastated you are by losing Grandma and Granddad. But you never sho
w it. You never think about yourself. You’re always too busy looking after everybody else. So now, like I say, you need some quiet time. Kathleen is a really good friend – she’ll help you come to terms with everything, I know she will. And remember, if you need any one of us, all you have to do is call.’
‘Thank you, sweetheart.’
‘Love you, Mum.’
‘Love you too. Give Luke a big hug for me, and if Sam rings you don’t worry him. All he needs to know is that I’m staying with Kathleen for a while, and that everything is fine. Just tell him that, will you?’
‘I will.’
Just then the baby started crying. ‘Got to go, Mum … ’bye.’
After Anne had gone, Lucy stood a moment, absent-mindedly tapping the end of the receiver on her lips. Her head was spinning with all manner of thoughts. Something Anne had said had her wondering. Why had Martin not told Anne about Paula, and what the two of them had been up to? And why had he gone round there in the first place? Looking for her, Anne said. So, did that mean he had decided he’d rather have her back than be with Paula?
Mmm! It’s very strange that he should go looking for me; unless he was worried that I had told Anne what he and her aunt Paula had been up to, Lucy thought.
She smiled wickedly. ‘I don’t suppose he was looking for me at all. In fact, he probably doesn’t give a monkey’s where I am! He just went round to make sure Anne knew nothing of what was going on. All he cares about is covering his own back. Well, it’s too late now, Martin, she decided, carefully replacing the receiver. You made your choice, and now you must live with it. Oh, but I would love to know what’s happened. Has she dumped you? Is that it? Yeah … Paula’s dumped you and now, in your arrogance, you think I’ll come running, don’t you? Well, you can go to hell. It might surprise you, but I am not in the market for Paula’s cast-offs. You’ve made your bed and you must lie on it!
After a moment of reflection, she returned to the sitting room, trying very hard not to smile.
‘Everything all right, is it?’ Obviously, Kathleen had caught the gist of Lucy’s conversation with her daughter.
The Runaway Woman Page 15