by Haley Tanner
Still, Vaclav is feeling discouraged about all the time he is spending doing Lena’s homework in addition to his own homework, that all this homework is taking time away from the magic that must be practiced for him to become the most successful and famous magician. Vaclav feels homesick, suddenly homesick, for a place that doesn’t exist.
“May I be excused?” asks Vaclav, looking down at the table, at the half-eaten brown cabbage stew in his bowl.
“Sure,” says his mother, while his father snorts in a laugh that might be a laugh that loves Vaclav, or might be a laugh that is mean.
Vaclav stands up from the table and puts his bowl of shchi in the sink, while Lena shovels into her mouth the last few bites of her second bowl and follows closely behind Vaclav, terrified at the idea of being left alone with his parents.
GLOVES
…
Vaclav sits down immediately at his desk and begins making a new, angry list.
“Act for practice first: box of disappearing. I think,” says Lena. Vaclav does not respond to Lena but begins adding to his list:
COSTUMES
“No?” says Lena.
Vaclav does not respond to Lena but begins another list:
LIST OF THINGS NEEDED FOR COSTUMES FOR SHOW AT CONEY ISLAND
“Or card. Cards trick,” says Lena, looking over Vaclav’s shoulder.
“Card tricks,” he corrects.
“Okay!” says Lena. Lena is starting to feel worried that something is wrong, that her plan of making Vaclav feel happy, of making the balance between getting from and giving to, is not working.
“No, not yes to card tricks, just telling you it is not cards trick, with a letter s on the end of card, but it is card tricks, with a letter s on the end of trick,” says Vaclav.
“What it is wrong?” says Lena, even though she knows a little what’s wrong. Vaclav does not answer but adds to his list as if he did not hear her:
LIST OF THINGS NEEDED FOR COSTUMES FOR SHOW AT CONEY ISLAND
TOP HAT
CAPE
TUXEDO
Vaclav knows that there is more that belongs on his list, but he suddenly cannot think of the things that belong in the outfit of a magician, even though he has been picturing the outfit for many years. Vaclav knows that his thoughts and feelings about Lena are pushing around his memory. It is Lena’s fault that he does not remember, and it is Lena’s fault that they haven’t been practicing the act enough.
“What do magicians wear? I can’t think of what magicians are wearing!” says Vaclav, and he means it only as a question, but all his anger about Lena’s fault comes out with it.
“Hat,” says Lena, afraid.
“I have that already!” says Vaclav.
“Ummm, the long, on shoulders, the long …” Lena is looking for words, and this too is making Vaclav wait and making Vaclav angry.
“Cape? I have that one already too,” Vaclav says, and he knows that his voice is making Lena afraid, is scaring her words away.
“Ummm …” says Lena.
“What?” says Vaclav. “I’m waiting.”
“Ummm,” says Lena, with her ummms getting more and more wobbly.
“Never mind!” says Vaclav, and he goes back to writing his lists.
“Ummm,” says Lena, and her ummms now are like a violin that wiggles its notes.
“Forget it!” says Vaclav. And then Lena sits down on the floor, behind Vaclav’s chair, where he can’t see her, so she can hide the tears that are spilling from her eyes and down her face, and she says, “Gloves.”
She says it too low, with the letter l too heavy, and the o too round to be an American o, but still, Vaclav hears her Russian l and o, and her rumbly v, and the e just the tiny bit of air exiting her mouth, with the s barely hanging on, and Vaclav understands, and he knows exactly the gloves she is talking about.
Vaclav does not notice that Lena is crying. He feels incredibly happy because the white magician’s gloves complete the picture of what he wants to look like for the show on the boardwalk at Coney Island. He is happy because he can see himself looking like a professional magician.
He needs the white gloves, the brilliantly white gloves that will highlight his every movement and make his audience pay attention to his hands so that it is as if he has their eyeballs on fishing line attached to his fingertips. It is very important, in magic, to have the audience’s eyeballs attached to your fingertips, because sometimes the magician is waving his hand and saying, look, the trick is over here, but actually the trick is somewhere else. Vaclav learned this from The Magician’s Almanac, which said if you want to learn how a magician performs his illusions, when he says, “Watch carefully as I do this,” you must watch carefully everywhere else, because he is trying to distract you.
“What do you want to wear for the show on Coney Island?” Vaclav asks, because the appearance of the lovely assistant is very important to the art of magic, just like the white gloves that make the audience’s eyes attach to your fingertips as though with fishing line. The assistant is there so that while the magician creates an illusion everyone will look carefully somewhere else. Sometimes the assistant is the somewhere else.
“What do you think your costume should be?” Vaclav asks again.
Lena stops crying and takes deep breaths. She is starting to forget about being upset, because she is very excited. Lena will wear the golden fringed bikini of Heather Holliday.
The first time that Lena saw Heather Holliday she was just five years old, and it was also the first time she saw the famous Coney Island Sideshow, and it was also the first time that she saw the ocean, and it was the first time that she saw a roller coaster, and it was the first time that she smelled a hot dog, and it was the first time that she went over to Vaclav’s house, and it was the first time that she ever had a friend.
HOW IT HAPPENED: THE FIRST TIME THAT VACLAV MET LENA
…
Lena’s aunt, Ekaterina, was always complaining about having to watch Lena, and about how she was always missing the good shifts, the shifts that made the most tips, because she had to pick up Lena or put Lena to bed, or feed Lena something for dinner. One of the people who the Aunt complained to was her boyfriend, who had a job picking up boxes and standing outside smoking in a T-shirt, and he did this job for the medical supply company on Kings Highway where Rasia was the receptionist. The Aunt’s boyfriend knew Vaclav’s mom, and he knew that she had a kid who looked to be about five, the same age as Lena.
The boyfriend was tired of the Aunt complaining, and was tired of the Aunt not making any money, and also of Lena always hanging around the apartment and getting in the way with her quietness, especially since school had let out for the summer and she was home all the time, and so he talked to Rasia and they set up a playdate.
HOW IT WAS FOR VACLAV
…
Rasia was happy to have someone for her son to play with who was also in his school, because he was the new kid there, and since he had just come from Russia, he didn’t have so many friends. In fact, he hadn’t had a friend come over to play since they moved from Russia, and she was so excited that she rushed home with her news to tell Vaclav.
“Vaclav. Turn off TV. I have something I can tell you.” She was not yet used to speaking to her son only in English. The decision to switch, to speak strictly English at home, was easy, but speaking to her son in a language that was not her own, this was hard. Not always having words for the things she wanted to say, this was especially hard when she was trying to have a conversation about something for which she might not have the words even in Russian, or even if she also spoke Arabic, and the click language they speak in Africa on the National Geographic Channel. Even if she knew all the languages in the whole world perfectly, she might not be able to explain to her son the things she was feeling. What she was feeling was something close to, but not exactly:
I’m so terribly sorry that you are lonely and that you do not have any friends and other kids think that y
ou are strange, and it hurts me like someone tearing off my skin and pouring acid onto it, but we did something that for you would be the best thing in the end, and even if you never, ever know it we will know it, and when you look at us and blame us for choosing for you a hard thing, we will know it, and when you look at us and blame us for being your parents, we will know it then too.
“Is video. I can pause,” said Vaclav, rolling his eyes and pointing his remote up at the screen of the big TV and pausing David Copperfield in midair just as he was being lowered from the ceiling of a huge auditorium.
Rasia eased herself onto the big couch. Then she patted the seat next to her, and Vaclav stood up from the floor, where he had been watching the TV. Vaclav had been sitting about two feet away from the screen, so that he could see up close and be able to guess the secrets behind David Copperfield’s tricks.
“I met a woman today who has a girl same age as you.” Rasia paused and looked at Vaclav, who raised one eyebrow. Skeptical. Okay, thought Rasia, at least he is not angry. He is interested.
“This girl, she is coming from Russia when she is a baby, she is having not her mother or her father around for her, and she is very shy.” Vaclav didn’t stop her, so she continued.
“She does not have many friends, and her English is not so good, so I am hoping that you will have playdate with her, maybe help with English, maybe even make friend.” Vaclav rolled his eyes in disgust, disinterest, and annoyance, all at the same time, and then asked, “What is her name?”
“Yelena. They call her Lena,” said Rasia.
“Okay,” said Vaclav. He knew who this girl was, the shy girl from ESL, but she had never spoken to him or to anyone else that he knew of.
“She is coming Saturday for playdate,” said Rasia. “Maybe for activity, we go to Coney Island.”
HOW IT WAS FOR LENA
…
Lena woke up on a Saturday morning and went into the kitchen. Ekaterina, her aunt, was sitting at the kitchen table in her robe, drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette and looking at the newspaper. Even though it was early in the morning, the Aunt had actually just come home from work and had not even gone to sleep yet. The Aunt looked at Lena but didn’t say anything, and Lena didn’t say anything either but reminded herself to be quiet. The Aunt didn’t feel good in the morning; mornings gave her a headache, and she hated when Lena made any sounds.
Lena looked for things to eat for breakfast, but there was not very much there, not any cereal or any pancake mix or anything like that, and in the refrigerator there was no milk or orange juice or eggs or string cheese. The only thing in the fridge was Slim-Fast, and the only thing in the freezer was vodka, and the only things in the pantry were cans of things that are not really good for eating, especially if you aren’t very good at using a can opener.
Lena closed the pantry lightly so that it didn’t make any sound at all. She was planning to give up and go back to her room and maybe lie in the bed and try to sleep a little bit more to pass the time. She was waiting for the Aunt to go to bed so that she could take a dollar bill from the Aunt’s purse to go buy a snack from the bodega on the corner, or so that she could drink one of the Slim-Fast cans from the fridge, if there were enough so that the Aunt wouldn’t notice one missing and would not yell at her.
“Get dress. You are going to your friend’s house,” said Lena’s aunt. Lena was confused, because she didn’t have any friends.
Lena also felt that she had no choice, because the Aunt told her she was going in a no-questions way, which was the way she said almost everything. So Lena went to her room and put on clothes and shoes, and made sure she was dressed and ready to go to her friend’s house.
SATURDAY MORNING
…
Vaclav woke up very early, and his mother was already awake, and Vaclav could smell furniture polish and lemons and bleach, and the house smelled like it did on mornings when there was company coming later, or the first time every year that it is nice enough outside to open all the windows and everything feels electric.
They had made a plan together. Rasia would take Vaclav and Lena to Coney Island on the subway, and they would ride the rides, and then come home and eat some sandwiches for lunch. Vaclav and his mother were very happy about this plan, both of them knowing that Vaclav would have a new friend, and both of them knowing that they were doing something nice for Lena. They could not know that many bad things would come from this day along with the good things. They did not know that the good things would happen and interact with the bad things like chemicals and make them worse, and the other way around as well. They did not know that Vaclav and Lena would wander past the famous Coney Island Sideshow and see magic tricks and Heather Holliday and her golden fringed bikini for the first time. They could not know that this would be the beginning of everything.
DING DONG HELLO
…
Ekaterina walked Lena right up to the front door of Vaclav’s house, and Lena felt very bad and confused because she didn’t want the Aunt to leave her there, but she also didn’t want anyone to see the Aunt with her makeup still on for work. Unfortunately, there was nothing Lena could do. The Aunt held her wrist very tightly, and a little too high up in the air, so that Lena had to twist her body to keep her shoulder from hurting, and they stood and rang the bell. As soon as the bell chimed, Lena could hear movement behind the door.
On the other side of the door, Vaclav and his mother were both sitting on the big couch, with everything in the apartment clean and the TV off, not talking about how excited they were. When the doorbell rang, Vaclav and his mother both stood up, and Vaclav ran off to his room, pretending to suddenly need something, overcome with excitement and nervousness and not wanting to seem as if he was just sitting and waiting for Lena to come.
Rasia opened the door and stared at Ekaterina, who as the door was opening was pressing the doorbell a second time. Ekaterina had hair that started out dark brown at the scalp and became orange for a moment and then a glowing white-blond, stretched back tightly into a ponytail that started at the top of her head. She wore one of those fuzzy pink matching jumpsuits that all the young mothers were wearing, which made Rasia feel as though there was a club that she did not belong to, and on her feet she had big, high stiletto heels made out of clear plastic. Everything on her face was painted on as if she started with nothing there: big black eyebrows that did not match any of the hair that grew on her head, and thick, dark lines around her eyes, and thick pink lines around her lips, and even a thick line where her face ended at her jaw and did not blend into her neck.
Rasia looked at Ekaterina and then looked at Lena, who was gripping Ekaterina’s hand and looking terrified, and her heart broke just a little bit at first because she had no daughter, and then a moment later because of what she had heard about the story of Lena’s life and the rumors she had heard about Ekaterina’s job, and she wanted to scoop up the little girl and feed her and hold her and make her safe.
“Zdravstvuite,” said the Aunt.
“Zdravstvuite, nice to meet you,” said Rasia, switching to English. The Aunt glared at her.
“I have to go now. I pick her up in the evening,” said the Aunt.
“Yes, of course,” said Rasia, embarrassed to realize that she had been imagining that Ekaterina would sit down, that she would serve her the tea that was already steeping in the kitchen, that Lena would run off to play with Vaclav, and that she and Ekaterina would discuss Lena and Vaclav, and parenthood, and the neighborhood, and the challenges of finding good after-school child care and the challenges of being in this country, and become unlikely friends. Rasia was surprised and embarrassed to feel so very lonely. This had happened before, a few times: loneliness that snuck up on her at the grocery store or on the bus and caught her off guard.
“Do svidaniya,” said Lena’s aunt Ekaterina, turning to walk away on the crumbling, buckling sidewalk in her plastic high-heeled shoes without saying a word to Lena, like “Goodbye” or “Have a goo
d time” or “I love you” or “Be good” or “I don’t care if I ever see you again; I hate you” or “Have a good time on the Cyclone and have fun seeing the ocean for the first time.” The Aunt just turned and left Lena there.
Rasia noticed that Lena still had tiny bits of sleep-crust in her eyes, and her heart broke a little bit more. She stood in the open doorway, watching, stunned, as the Aunt stomped away, lighting a cigarette as she walked.
“Do svidaniya,” said Rasia, though Ekaterina was already too far away to hear.
VACLAV MAKES A GRAND ENTRANCE
…
“Lena, come inside, is very nice to have you … Take off shoes here, please,” Rasia said, and pointed at the line of her family’s shoes next to the door: her loafers, her husband’s ugly work shoes, and Vaclav’s special new shoes with the lights on the heels and the Velcro everywhere, because in America no one, not even small children, has time to tie his own shoes, and everything must have flashing lights.
Lena walked over to the line of shoes and stood so that her feet were in line with all the empty shoes. Lena was wearing white canvas sneakers, and without reaching down with her arms at all or changing the positioning of her torso one single bit, she used the toe of her left foot to slip the shoe off her right foot, and then used the toe of her right foot to slip the shoe off her left foot. In this way, she took off her shoes without moving very much, and without taking her eyes off Rasia.
Vaclav was spying from the hallway and saw what Lena had done, that she had taken off her shoes with the minimum of effort, stepping to the exact place where she wanted the shoes to be so that she did not have to move them once they were off her feet. He smiled a little bit on the inside and came forward to introduce himself.