by Ron Foster
On farms (not just in the South) roosters usually crow when the sun rises. Their vociferous habit wakes up the house, signaling time to work. An extremely cocky rooster might think the sun rises simply because he crows. Similarly, an extremely cocky man might think the same when he speaks — and also that everyone should listen to him.
“I say he ought to step down and let us have a real election, emergency or not. If this country when it was formed could elect our first leaders, go to war and write a Constitution all at once then I see no reason we can’t have us a general election.” Loomis said overhearing the conversation as he came in the door.
“Good morning! How you doin’, Loomis? You got Crick up and stirring yet?” Bertha said pleasantly but still inquisitive about the party she had overheard going on in the Rope Locker that Crick had turned into his own private bar.
“No, He's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine at the moment. I don’t think he even went to bed last night and stayed up drinking. Him and BC Truck are dreaming up something with Donald’s immersion heater. He has got Donald and Davie down there with him, also.” Loomis said looking like he had spent part of last night with the denizens of the deep ships hold bar rats as Bertha referred to them. There were actual rats on this boat and that fact kept her above decks or around the staterooms and restaurant kitchen area.
“They all as drunk as Cooter Brown then.” Clem said, grinning and thinking about slipping off also to join in the fun.
Cooter Brown is an infamous character in Southern lore. Legend tells that he lived on the Mason-Dixon line — the border between the North and South — during the Civil War. To avoid the draft on either side, Cooter decided to stay drunk throughout the entire war, making him ineligible for battle.
Inebriated Southerners have measured their drunkenness by him ever since.
“Crick is still is still pretty upset about all the stuff he lost when his house got robbed and David is commiserating with him ‘cause the same thing happened to him a month or so ago, but worse. He went back to his place back over by Orion and that whole road he lived on wasn’t nothing more than scorched earth. Must have been a big forest fire done it that burned up a pretty big area all the way to the highway. He can’t find none of his friends he had that was living around there because they moved on somewhere and most likely if they had time took all his food stores with them. He says he can’t blame them but it seems like somebody should have come back when the fire cooled and left him a message or a sign or something telling him where they went. Donald only had what he could pack in his van and haul ass from a fire just a month after the solar flare went off, I think. They say parts of Georgia are still burning to this day around the great swamp.” Loomis said looking around in contemplation that Bertha had possibly brought up a basket of food to the wheel house.
“You out of luck this morning, Loomis, we already ate our breakfast. Tell you what, you find Rossy Ross and tell her I said make a pan of biscuits and some strong coffee to carry down to them boys. They needs to quit playing and straighten up now. Clem says we should arrive at the Rendezvous in a little while. Clem, you go down there with him in about a half hour and tell them men to quit feeling sorry for themselves and sober up. Tell them that Parable of a Donkey your granny used to tell us when we was growing up.” Bertha said, switching to her mother hen role.
“Ah, them boys probably done heard it from their own Grannies..” Clem began before saying alright and telling Loomis he would be down in a bit when the biscuits were done.
“What kind of donkey story? She ain`t talking about one of those silly farm animals she has around that she makes and sews hats for, is she?” Loomis questioned in a whisper.
“No, this is a really old story; you will like it if you haven’t heard it before.” Clem said apologetically.
“I heard you, Loomis, don’t be talking about my mule Miss Becky’s hat, it’s as purdy as that story is.” Bertha said looking at him devilishly.
“Oh, I wouldn’t think about it Bertha, that’s a beauty of a hat your mule has. I see you later Clem!” Loomis said making his escape out the door. He then went down the stairs and headed towards the galley.
The Shrewd Farmer's Donkey
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out a way to get him out. Finally he decided it was probably impossible and the animal was old and the well was dry anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to try and retrieve the donkey. So the farmer asked his neighbors to come over and help him cover up the well. They all grabbed shovels and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, when the donkey realized what was happening, he cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down and let out some happy brays. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well to see what was happening and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was shaking it off and taking a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he continued to shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, to everyone's amazement, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.
Some people consider that the moral of this tale is: Life is going to shovel dirt on you. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Through applying wisdom, every adversity can be turned into a stepping stone. The way to get out of the deepest well is by never giving up but by shaking yourself off and taking a step up.
“What happens to you isn't nearly as important as how you react to it.” Author Unknown
Each of our problems can be considered like a stepping stone that allows us to make a step forward.
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
The horse is wondering where the darn cable is, how about you, greenhorn?
11
A Multicolored Bird
David followed Farley’s van down the dirt road turnoff to the old unused ferry boat landing with Gauge and Esmeralda following close behind. The casino barge was pulled straight in to shore with its gangway boarding ramp lowered right upon the ferries car off load lane.
“Damn, that thing’s a sight! Looks like they ran out of paint in the middle of it but I can’t figure out exactly what colors they were trying for to begin with.” David said eying the river boat.
“Careful what you say about that paint job, the owners think it looks pretty good and are sort of proud of it.” Farley cautioned.
“They aren’t totally blind are they? Did you sell them all that funky paint, Farley?” Gauge asked making David chuckle.
“No, they just used what they had on hand and a fella named Crick scrounged the rest. He don’t own anything about the boat but he has a lot to say about how they do business so be careful around him also. They heed his advice and he does a lot of reading off there.” Farley stated.
“Does he think that it looks good too?” Esmeralda said incredulously looking at its multicolor patchwork paint job.
“That all depends on who is around when you ask him. Me and him are trying to cut us a paint deal but we are having problems finding enough paint of one color or another. You got any paint for trade, David, to me?” Farley asked.
“No, but I can get some easily enough, it will just be house paint and not marine grade, mind you.” David said, thinking of an abandoned paint store in his vicinity they could scavenge.
“We will talk about that deal later; there is Clem and Bertha talking to the tug captain Jimmy.” Farley said pointing towards the open air front deck of the converted casino barge.
David, Farley, Esmeralda and Gauge walked up to the boarding ramp and Farley hollered for permission to come aboard. Ted had been left back sitting on the hood of David’s truck cradling his shotgun and guarding the vehicles.
“Come on up!” A young raggedy dressed teenage girl wearing a straw hat named Rossy Ross hollered dow
n while she was undoing the single access denial chain attached from the ramp to the boat deck.
“Hello, Rossy! I brought some friends to meet Clem and Bertha.” Farley declared, giving the girl a hug and then doing the introductions.
“They up front and been expecting you all. David you had you a visitor come by this morning and left you an envelope with a message. Neil and Karen got it down in the ships store. I will go fetch them for you, if you like.” Rossy said taking off before David had a chance to say thank you or please do and he watched her racing off and into a ships hatch.
“That girl doesn’t stay still for a minute and runs pretty much everywhere she goes. Keep an eye out for her because if she isn’t almost running into you she is quietly lurking about somewhere listening to you. She is not spying, just very curious and gossipy you might say.” Farley warned before going to do the meet and greet with Clem and Bertha. Once introductions were done and small talk started about “how was the trip up here”, Rossy Ross came racing back with David’s letter and informed him that Neil and Karen were on their way up and then raced off he guessed ostensibly to hurry them along because she was back a few minutes later with a progress report.
“Damn, that girl doesn’t drink coffee and sugar all day, does she?” David asked with a smile watching the hyper girl go back in that direction.
“She sure does likes to keep moving and running about whenever she can.” Bertha commented.
“So, David, you wanted to trade for some silver coin? By the messages your bankers been sending, I think you want more than we are selling.” Clem declared, studying David.
“Really? I hate to hear that, Clem, I was led to believe you two were in sort of agreement. Tell you what, if you don’t mind, let me read this note first and then we will sit down somewhere and talk it over.” David replied and then went a short distance to the rail and opened the envelope and started reading.
Dear David,
News of the AU confiscation has reached us and the banker here is limiting redemptions to $2,000 per notes holder with metal he has on hand until re-supplied. Please advise. Note trading continues but most demands are for payment in metal. Military traffic convoys noted in bordering states traveling south. Some air traffic over Rendezvous noted but was high flying planes. Please book return passage for me and Farnsworth on boat you are on, trader and bank summit will be tomorrow. Your new trading post building is secured.
Regards,
Stewart
David considered the short note he had just read with foreboding. A shortfall in redemption metal and a promise of resupply later when you knew the bank had lost a lot of metal was not confidence building. He had more than enough extra metal now to redeem notes for his trade group with but that sort of gave him an unfair advantage at the trade tables. Another bone of contention was the majority of that money wasn’t his specifically and he had been tasked to do certain things with it but that surplus metal he had now in junk gold and silver was another matter that he had some leeway with.
“Ok, Mr. Clem, where would you like to go to talk a little business?” David said returning to the group standing around and chattering at one another.
“Let’s go to the ships’ restaurant. We serve meals there but don’t really run it as a business. It’s got plenty of room for us to able to spread out and chat.” Clem said leading the way.
“So Clem how much silver are you willing to trade? You mentioned that there might be less of an amount available than I expected?” David said, sitting down in a chair and thanked Bertha for the glass of tea she handed him.
“Well, maybe the misunderstanding comes from me offering to buy things as well as maybe sell things, came from trying to arrange a deal through your bank with Dixon. I understand you need small change to pay workers, make change for transactions, etc. I am willing to sell you a $10,000 face value bag of mixed U.S. coins if we can come to terms. I also need some things you might have access to for trading and I will pay you in silver for them, if you want.” Clem said.
“Ok, do you need anything for your boat? Maybe products for your store or this restaurant, maybe?” David asked.
“We always need store stuff to sell; we are just getting started on our inventory.” Neil said looking for direction From Clem and Bertha.
Karen added to the conversation by reminding everyone that “Something as simple as toilet paper is a prized commodity that they can never have enough of.”
“I still remember the only currency of value when the collapse first happened is what one could get their hands on to eat. Hopefully everyone has gone beyond that now but the confiscation of the Central Trading Bank’s precious metals was sure to create a lot of discord and problems. By the way Clem, we are still using it to buy and sell things, how about you?” David asked inquiring of the man’s opinion of its’ worth.
“Well, if you’re asking to buy my silver with paper notes the answer is no, but if you want to book passage or buy a meal then yes, we will take it.” Clem said rubbing his beard stubble.
“Them bags of silver is all we gots in the world David and some of it is Rossy Ross’s legacy and dowry. She owns one third of everything seeing she found the treasure first under some boards in a safe and Clem is the one that got into it. She shared me my part seeing we just like family and now I have to be lending some to my new family.” Bertha said telling David how they came up with such wealth.
“What new family?” David questioned.
“Well, just about everyone on this boat or back at home. We had us a bunch of people wash up on the shore of the plantation when the dam blew up and most of them been with us ever since. It’s all put down in my book Karen keeps for me.” Bertha said and Karen dutifully pulled the big leather bound book out of its protective hand-embroidered bag for David to see.
“Why that’s a fine book, Bertha! Someday I will have to get Karen to read us some of it.” David began before Bertha told him nobody could hear what was written in that book but her and Karen until she passed someday.
David nodded at her knowingly and let that part of the conversation pass and got the subject back on trading for some silver coins.
“Them bags are a mix of dimes, quarters, half dollars and dollars, mostly smaller face values. That ok with you?” Clem said looking over to where Rossy Ross was trying to move closer to hear what was going on and motioning her over since she had an interest in its’ outcome.
“Sure, I will trade you for a bag of coins, you want gold coins or scrap gold or both?” David asked.
“What’s scrap gold?” Bertha asked.
“Oh, it’s old rings, gold chains, single earrings and such.” David advised.
“We got some of that but it belongs to the community, folks can get theirs back if they come up with the money before we needs to use it. Will anyone want their jewelry back in what you offering?” Bertha asked.
“No, we were going to end up melting it down anyway.” David began before Farley started protesting he had an interest in it and his deal got cut off before he was done to head over this way.
“Do you have some rings in it, Mr. Farley? You can gets them out before we look at what he is offering.” Bertha declared.
“Well no, not personally, David and I were sort of working out a business deal when time ran out.” Farley said, not wanting to interfere in their business but not wanting to miss out on any opportunity either.
“What sort of business deal?” Clem asked, not wanting to miss out on anything that might have some extra profit in it.
Farley sat uncomfortably for a few seconds before briefly describing his proposed jewelry and metal service.
“So you high graded David’s scrap gold and pulled some of the better pieces out? Nothing wrong with that.” Clem said before Bertha objected.
“That’s like you eating all the good pieces out of a box of chocolates before you give then to me, Clem!” Bertha said fussing.
“Well, me and Farley never finished our dea
l, yea, there is a bunch of rings that had stones prized out or something in that lot but there’s some good pieces in there if you want jewelry instead of just metal weight.” David said thinking he ought to give Farley first shot at it but not wanting to lose all those silver coins over a misunderstanding either.
“I kind of wanted me some pretty jewelry, never had none before and know that we can afford it. I think Rossy Ross need her something sparkly, too.” Bertha declared with interest.
“Well, I doubt Farley would mind giving you first pick of what I got. Would you, Farley?” David said looking at him meaningfully that he was not going to let him argue the point.
“No, not at all, she can have first pick or I might have something of my own in my bag she might like.” Farley began before stating they could play mix and match and try on buying Jewelry later because he didn’t have that much time and he was just selling scrap by weight today against silver or gold.