“You’ll come with me?” He seemed surprised.
“Of course I will,” I said. “If I’m not intruding, of course.”
“No. You’re never intruding.”
“Then of course I want to be there.”
“It’ll be nice not to go alone,” he said sadly.
“You never have to go anywhere alone.”
He gave me a slight smile. “I’m realizing that.”
I rubbed his shoulders then his biceps. He moaned quietly while I touched him. When I reached his hands, I saw how bruised they were. I knew he was hitting his punching bag at some point during the day, even though I wasn’t sure exactly when. I brought his knuckles to my lips and kissed each one.
He stared at me, his face unreadable.
Liam was too upset to be physical so I abandoned the idea. He needed my love right now. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him in the shower. His hands circled my waist and held me tight. His cock sprang to life and pressed against our stomachs. I ignored it and concentrated on the rise and fall of his massive chest. When he seemed to be calm, I pulled away then headed to the door.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m getting pruned.” I held up my fingers.
“Did you come in here for another reason?” His eyes smoldered.
“But you’re upset,” I said. “It can wait.”
He grabbed my hand and guided me back to him. “Does it look like I want to wait?” He wore a cocky grin.
“Well, he’s always…there.” I eyed his hard cock.
“Because you’re around.” He moved me to the wall then pushed me against it. His mouth was on mine, giving me gentle and soft kisses. It was hard to kiss him when we were standing because he towered over me. But Liam grabbed my upper thighs then lifted me up, my face near his.
My hands moved to his biceps, feeling the muscle. His size was formidable and frightening, but now I loved it. When he took control, moving on top of me or pinning me down, I shook in excitement.
Liam rubbed his nose against mine then gave me slow and purposeful kisses. He would pull away again then brush his lips against mine, teasing me and making me ache for more. My mouth would open, breathing deeply. Then Liam would return his lips to mine, making the heat so powerful that it was an explosion. Like two combustible elements, we combined together and shined bright like a firework. Even the water couldn’t put out the fire. Now I was desperate for him. I’d been a hot for him all day, thinking about him in class and at tutoring, and now I was starving for him.
My nails dug into his back, telling him what I wanted. I still didn’t feel him the way I wanted, so I pressed harder.
“You’re impatient today,” he said into my mouth.
“Because I love you.” My voice carried my plea.
“But you love me everyday.” He rubbed his cock against my folds, making my legs shake. “So, what’s different?”
“I just…”
“Hmm?” He teased me again, his lips barely touching mine.
“You’re so hot,” I blurted.
He smirked. “I’ve never heard you say that before.”
I blushed. “Well…I…”
“What?” he pressed.
“I guess I see you differently now.”
“About time,” he said with a chuckle. “I thought you were immune to my charms.”
“I was. But I was never immune to your heart.”
His eyes softened.
“Now will you stop making me wait?” I said with an attitude.
“I’m being a little rude, aren’t I?”
I nodded. “Do I have to beg?”
“You never have to beg.” His tip slipped inside me, stretching me.
“Oh…” My hand gripped the back of his neck and I pressed my head to his. I couldn’t kiss him because I wasn’t expecting it to feel that good. I just breathed deeply, enjoying the slow descent.
He moaned while he sheathed himself inside me. When we were combined, he rocked me into the wall slowly, holding me in place. I felt light when I was with him, weightless. Liam could carry me with a single arm.
Liam stopped moving. “God, you feel...fucking good.”
I kept my eyes glued to his. “Mmm…”
He gripped my thighs and moved into me slowly, pushing all the way in before he pulled back. His thrusts were precise and smooth. Liam always touched me in just the right way, making me burst until my essence was gone.
I felt the strong heat between my legs, and his cock suddenly felt bigger. I knew my body was clenching around him, and my heart beat suddenly increased. Heat flushed my face and I spiraled down. “Liam…” I watched the darkness settle into his eyes. He moved into me faster, his breathing deep and rugged. When I finished, I relaxed my nails so I wouldn’t cut him.
He kissed me then sucked my bottom lip, groaning the entire time. His hands dug into my skin and he sped up while he finished. I loved it when he released inside me. It was something we only did with each other. All the past women in his life bothered me, but I knew he only made love to me. So that made everything else irrelevant.
He rested his face in the crook of my neck and held me under the water. I was sated and relaxed. My fingers moved through his wet hair while we held each other. Then he slowly brought me to the floor.
Liam turned off the water then grabbed a towel. We patted me dry then bundled me inside it, making me look like an Eskimo. He cupped my cheeks and grinned at me. “So cute.”
“Cute?” I asked.
“Yeah. I’ve always thought that. Just never said it before.”
“Well, thanks.”
He grabbed another towel then dried himself off. I liked watching his body as he moved. His muscles coiled and stretched under the skin. He was chiseled and defined. He was a moving sculpture.
He scrubbed the towel through his hair, soaking the moisture, and then tossed it aside. This was how he did his hair every morning, and it always looked sexy in a rugged way.
Liam walked out then pulled on his running shorts and a t-shirt. Even when he dressed down, he still looked amazing. Since it was almost bedtime, I grabbed one of his shirts and pulled it on. It reached to my knees and sagged around me, reminding me how small I was in comparison.
His eyes smoldered when he looked at me. “I like it when you wear my shirt.”
I smirked. “Because all the goodies are hidden?”
“Because you’re mine.”
We walked downstairs then prepared dinner together. He usually helped me in the kitchen and set the table before we sat down. It was a routine we established silently.
When dinner was made, we sat together and ate in silence. We didn’t talk often. Most of the time, we were fairly quiet. But nothing needed to be said. The silent companionship was wonderful.
He finished his food then sipped the wine. “How was your day?”
“Good,” I said. I picked at the remaining chicken on my plate. “It surprises me how horrible college students are in math.”
“Good thing they have you.”
I smirked. “Well, my services are a rip off.”
“You’re just an excellent business woman.”
I shrugged. “What did you do?”
“I had class. That was pretty boring.”
I noticed how closed off Liam was lately. He seemed bored with school, like he didn’t really care. I compared it to the fire and passion he had in the ring. Without thinking, he made his punches and took up the entire floor. He was a powerhouse, too strong to be challenged or taken down. It was a different side to him. “Do you like school?”
He stared at his glass. “It’s fine.”
That was a firm no. “Have you considered changing your major?”
“No.”
“Do you like it…?”
“It’s fine.”
I leaned over the table. “Liam, come on.”
He avoided my gaze. “Honestly, I don’t care about school. I never
have.”
“Then why are you doing it?”
“How else am I supposed to support you?” He didn’t sound bitter about it. “I’ll find an internship this year, and hopefully, I’ll find a job after graduation.”
I didn’t know how to handle this. It seemed like Liam was doing something he didn’t want to do just because of me. And I didn’t like that.
At all.
“You shouldn’t do something you don’t want to do, Liam. Plain and simple.”
He stirred his wine then sipped it. “Yes, theoretically. But life doesn’t always work that way.”
“It does if you make it happen.”
Liam stared at the counter. “Let’s talk about something else.”
He never changed the subject before. “Liam, what would you like to do if you could do anything?”
“I said change the subject.” His voice held his command. The fighter revealed itself.
“No.”
He finally met my look.
“Answer my question.”
“No.”
Why was he acting like this?
“Liam—”
“You dumped me when you found out I was a fighter. So why would I want to talk about it?” He didn’t raise his voice, but his tone and anger sliced through the hair. It made my hair stand on end. “You have no idea how much that hurt me. If I have to choose between you and something else, I will always choose you. Done. So why discuss it?”
“Are you saying that’s what you want to do?”
“I don’t know…”
The silence fell in the room. I didn’t know Liam felt that way. But, we’d never discussed it before. “Liam, tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Baby, I’ll tell you anything. But in this case, I’m keeping my mouth shut.”
“Why?”
He gave me a serious look. “You know why.”
He was scared to chase me away. If he told me how he really felt about fighting, he assumed it would end the relationship. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it anymore. When I saw him beat someone, it was so shocking and unexpected. It brought flashbacks into my mind. And I was scared. But should I be? “Liam, please tell me. I won’t run away.”
“There’s no guarantee.”
“Yes, there is.”
He shook his head.
“I love you.”
“You loved me before.”
We never talked about the break up. When I wanted him back, he took me without a fight. He kissed me and took me back to his house, where we made love and forgot about everything that happened. But we never actually discussed it.
“Liam…I’m sorry. Everything just caught me off guard. I panicked and ran. I didn’t know what else to do besides push you away. And I was hurt you didn’t tell me beforehand.”
“So, what’s changed?” he said. “Nothing.” Now he sounded a little angry.
“I regret what I did.”
“You do?” he asked.
“Of course, I do.”
“I understand why it hurt you so much, but I don’t think it justified breaking up with me. I would never hurt you. That fact had never been questioned.”
“I know…”
He clenched his glass but didn’t shatter it.
“You’re mad at me.”
He didn’t deny it.
“Why didn’t you say something to me before?”
“I’m not mad,” he said. “I love you and I need you in my life. None of that matters anymore. But don’t expect me to talk to you about that subject and feel perfectly comfortable with it. It’s not going to happen.”
“I said I was sorry…”
His eyes softened. “I know, baby.”
“Please talk to me. I’m not going anywhere.”
He studied my face for a long time, trying to determine if he could trust me.
“Please. I don’t want this to be between us. I fell in love with you because I trust you and tell you everything. I love that aspect about our relationship. You fixed me and I fixed you. If you hold back from me, it changes that relationship. How am I supposed to help you if you don’t let me?”
Liam processed my words for a long time, rubbing his chin. “Okay.”
Okay?
“I know exactly what I want to do with my life.”
“What?”
“I want to protect people—particularly women.”
That wasn’t the answer I was expecting. “That sounds admirable. How would you do that?”
“When women feel threatened, there are different programs they can participate in. But a lot of those outlets don’t help. A restraining order doesn’t make a difference. And even jail time won’t keep their tormentor away. The only thing that does work is a protector—someone like me. They could hire me for free and I would look out for them, watch the house at night and take them places.”
“Well, how would you make a living?” I was touched by the passion he had toward others and I loved him more because of it, but it didn’t seem practical.
“Fighting. I only have a match every two weeks, and with the rest of that time I would have an open availability. I would make more than enough money to support both of us. An honestly, it’s a good outlet for my rage.”
“I thought your rage was gone…”
“It’s much less than it used to be. But no, it will never be gone. I don’t enjoy hurting other people. I wouldn’t jump someone on the street for kicks. But when I’m in the ring I can express myself in an acceptable way. No one is seriously injured and I feel better afterwards.” His shoulders sagged when he was done. “But, I know how you feel about that. And I would never do something to risk losing you.”
The silence lingered in the air, and the choice was before me. Liam didn’t push me either way. My decision would be accepted without question. When I thought about him in the ring, I distinctly didn’t like it. Actually, I loathed the idea. Finn popped into my mind, that same rage on his face.
But could I be selfish? This seemed important to him. Could I make him get a degree in something he didn’t care about and work at a meaningless job? He was already great in the ring, and he had an admirable reason to keep doing it. I knew it helped him work through the pain he felt. He couldn’t kill the person he really wanted to slaughter. At least it was a healthy way to channel it.
I was the only thing standing in his way.
I want Liam to be happy. That’s all I want. “You should do it.”
“What?”
“You should fight. It’s what you want and you’re good at it.”
He studied my face. “Baby, I won’t do something to push you away. I don’t want you to resent me while we’re together until you break. It’s not worth it.”
“No,” I said. “I really want this for you.”
Liam didn’t seem convinced. “Why?”
“Because it’s what you want.”
“But you said you could never be with a man that hurts other people for a living.”
“I know what I said…”
“Don’t just say yes. You should think about it.”
“I just know I don’t want you to be unhappy. If you hate school so much, you shouldn’t do it. And I know how important this is to you. After losing your sister, I completely understand…”
He shook his head slightly. “And because of what happened to you. I don’t think less of you or feel differently toward you, but knowing someone hurt you like that just makes me spiral out of control all over again. Keep in mind, I had years to get over what happened to Eva, and even then, I didn’t. And you just told me months ago…I just can’t get over that.”
I nodded. “I know, Liam.”
“Just think about it before you tell me to do anything.”
“I don’t need to think.”
His eyes darkened. “I can’t risk losing you again.”
“You won’t.”
“Then where do we go from here?”
I didn’t know. “
You should get back into the ring and quit school.”
“I have a better idea,” he said. “I’ll do a fight and I want you to watch.”
What? “I…I never said I wanted to watch.”
“I’m not doing this unless I know you’re okay with it. And the best way to prove that to me is to stand on the sidelines and witness it. If you treat me differently or see me in a new way, then forget it.”
“I just…” I hated to imagine him being so violent. It was frightening.
He read my mind. “I would never hurt you, so you shouldn’t be afraid.”
“It’s not that simple…”
“I think it is.”
I hugged my waist and pulled my knees to my chest. I suddenly felt sick.
“And you need to learn how to defend yourself. That will teach you to trust me.”
“It’s not about trust,” I said quickly.
“I think it will help you move on. You’ve made a lot of progress since I came into the picture, but you clearly aren’t finished.” He held my gaze. “And that’s perfectly okay. We both have a lot of healing to do.”
That was true. More than he would ever know.
Chapter Four
Liam
I was trying to avoid the right path for so long that I was somehow thrown back to it when I met Keira. I tried to move on and get a respectable degree. I tried to pull away from the violence but I never could. And when she came into my life, it pushed me back to the same place.
In the ring.
Was Keira really okay with it? I’d known her long enough to understand her selflessness. She would do anything to make me happy. But I couldn’t risk that.
I couldn’t lose her again.
I was still a little resentful toward her. I admit it. But how could I not be? Being dumped didn’t exactly feel good. In fact, it shattered my world.
Whenever I was at school, particularly in my finance classes, I felt even more out of place. Nothing interested me anymore. I didn’t care about excel spreadsheets, bookkeeping, taxes…blah. God, could anything be more boring?
I didn’t want someone to be my boss. I wanted to call my own shots, make my own decisions. I wanted a job that would allow me to help others. I wasn’t good at talking or being therapeutic to other people, but I new how to break a skull. I wanted to protect someone from what happened to my sister. I wanted to stop women from being in abusive relationships. I just wanted it to stop. I didn’t want Eva’s death to be in vain. Her legacy would live on—through me.
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