Scotty’s eyes widened. He took a few deep breaths then clutched his head.
I raised an eyebrow. “You alright, man?”
“Fuck!” He paced the pavement in front of me, running his finger through his hair.
What the hell was going on? “Scotty?”
He stopped in front of me, his hands on his head. “I told her. I told Adrianna. That’s how she knew.”
I finally connected the dots. “Because you were sleeping together.”
“I slept with her twice. The second time, I was so drunk I didn’t even know where I was. I remembered her asking me about Keira. I vaguely remember blurting everything to her.”
Now everything made sense. “She used you to rip she and I apart.” The revelation didn’t give me any satisfaction. In fact, it hurt even more. If Keira had any faith in me, this wouldn’t have happened. It was ridiculous.
“Fuck,” he snapped. “This is all my fault.”
“No,” I said immediately. “Keira should have believed me.”
“Come on. She’s been through a lot. It’s pretty condemning…”
“No,” I snapped. “My words should be worth a lot more than some fucking evidence. We never should have broken up. After everything I did to put her back together, she should have faith in me. It’s like she didn’t even know me.”
Scotty took a deep breath. “Let’s head to the house and tell Keira.”
“No.”
“No?”
“You can tell her. But I don’t want to be a part of it.”
“What?” Scotty asked. “Now you can get back together. You two are meant to be together.”
“If we were meant to be together, we wouldn’t have broken up.” I headed to my truck. “This doesn’t change what she did.”
“You can’t be serious?”
Sadly, I was. If she thinks I’m just going to take her back, she’s sadly mistaken. I got into the truck and slammed the door. Now I was even more pissed than ever before. These past two months could have been easily avoided. But they weren’t. Time was wasted.
Chapter Seventeen
Liam
Five Years Earlier…
She was dead.
My sister was dead.
Never again would I get a milkshake with her after school. I wouldn’t fight with her over the remote. She wouldn’t scream at me when I played my music too loud. I wouldn’t tease her and call her ugly.
Because she was dead.
I didn’t go back to the house after I slammed my fists into my father’s face. They could search for me but they would never find me. I didn’t need them anymore. I wanted nothing to do with them after what they did. It was unforgiveable.
I hated them.
They didn’t just lose one child. They lost both.
Her funeral was the day of my high school graduation. I was already an adult so they had no hold over me. I didn’t have a lot of money or resources but I would figure it out. I was already accepted to UCSD so I would have a loan for food and money. I’d survive.
I didn’t want to go to her funeral. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
I still couldn’t believe it happened.
She was my sister. My family.
But she was gone.
I was supposed to protect her. I failed.
But I couldn’t abandon her. Even if I saw my parents, I wouldn’t run away. I wasn’t a coward. I needed to say goodbye, to tell her I loved her because I never said it enough when she was alive.
When I arrived at the church, every row was filled. Students and teachers were packed into the expansive church. Pictures of her were hung on easels. She smiled, her face beautiful and her eyes filled with the light of the stars.
A few people noticed me and gave me their condolences. I kept a straight face and moved off to the side, not wanting to be noticed by anyone. My parents sat in the front row, my mother openly weeping. My dad rubbed her back, the tears falling.
My sister had a pink casket. It was fitting for her upbeat personality and love for all things that were beautiful. The wood was flawless and perfectly carved. It was closed because the marks on her face couldn’t be hidden.
I tried not to cry.
I can’t.
I won’t.
The pastor resided over the ceremony and spoke about Eva, telling us stories of her youth, talent, and beauty. I listened to the words, picturing her in my mind. They showed a slide show of her life. I was in most of the pictures, dumping sand on her head at the beach or sitting with her at the family barbeques. Now every picture I took wouldn’t have her beside me.
Because she was gone.
She was really gone.
My parents stepped to the podium, and together, they said a few words. Derek wasn’t mentioned. The brutal way she was killed was never addressed. They acted like she passed away in her sleep.
I glared at my father, hating him with every fiber of my being. He had no right to call himself a father. If he protected his daughter, we wouldn’t be gathered in this church on a Friday. I’d be happy, partying with my friends.
But I wasn’t. I was mourning my sister.
Because she was murdered.
My parents finished and took their seats.
“Does anyone have any final words?” the pastor asked.
I had nothing to say. I didn’t prepare a speech. But I walked forward anyway. “I do.”
Heads turned as they saw me reach the podium. My mom covered her face when she saw me walk up the stairs. My dad’s eyes were on me, filled with emotion.
When I saw the crowd, I felt nervous. But it passed as the numbness took hold. My sister’s body lay directly in front of me, flowers gathered around. Words passed through my mind, but nothing I said was good enough for my sister.
“My sister was a brat.” The crowd gasped at my words, not expecting such bluntness. “She would take stuff out of my room then sell it on the Internet just to piss me off. When I recorded a show, she would purposely change it to the Desperate Housewives of Whatever. She was a terror. And I only loved her because I had to. At least I thought I did.
“But that stopped being true the older I got. My sister was my closest friend. We fought like we were on a battlefield and she drove me mad, but she was still the best sister I could ask for. She kept all my secrets from my parents and never ratted me out, even when I confessed her crimes. Because she was awesome. I was taller than her, but I always looked up to her.”
The crowd sniffed at my words. My mom wiped the tears from her cheek.
“She used to pick me up before my last class and take me out for a milkshake. She was certainly a rule breaker when it came to me. We still fought like enemies, but that love was always underneath.
“When she was named the valedictorian at her graduation, I teased her and said she was still ugly, but I was exceptionally proud of her underneath. And she knew that. She knew I loved her even if I didn’t say it. But I wished I said it more often.”
I cleared my throat. “My sister was the greatest person I ever knew. I told her everything, confessing my every crime and wrong-doing. Sometimes I was judged for my shortcomings, but she never did. She accepted me exactly as I was. No one else in the world ever did that. But now she’s gone…”
I felt the anger when I thought about Derek. No one addressed it but I was going to. “She was murdered.” I took a deep breath as the words came out. “Murdered. There is no other word to describe it. She was beaten to death. She probably said the wrong thing at the wrong time, and Derek snapped and bashed her skull with his fist.” I knew I was being vulgar but I didn’t care. I wasn’t supposed to say his name but I didn’t give a shit. “This beautiful girl is dead because of him. And don’t you forget for even a moment that’s why we’re gathered in this chapel. Because she was murdered.” I looked at the casket one more time before I stepped away. “Thank you.”
The pole bearers carried the casket to the gravesite. I didn’t participate because it wa
s too hard. I kept my distance, wanting to avoid my parents. I knew they would track me down. That’s the last thing I wanted.
I stayed under the trees while everyone gathered at the site. Everyone grabbed a handful of dirt and sprinkled it over the casket deep in the ground. Flowers were tossed inside, final goodbyes being said.
My parents stood still, their eyes wet with more tears. Everyone gave their condolences and passed by. I watched each one, counting two-thousand people. My sister was loved by more people than just me.
The wind brushed through my hair, pulling it from my eyes. I kept my place under the shade, waiting for my opportunity to say goodbye. My parents remained at the grave, waiting for me. They knew I would come.
Hours passed and they never left. I knew I didn’t have a choice.
I walked across the grass until I reached the grave. I looked at my parents, disappointment and rage on my face. But I didn’t speak. I held my tongue for Eva, knowing this moment was about her, not them. I gripped the California Poppies then dropped them on top of her casket. When they hit the wood, they separated, covering the surface perfectly. I closed my eyes and said a prayer for my sister. The tears fell from my eyes. I tried to hold it together as long as possible but I couldn’t hold back the damn any longer.
My sister was dead.
I wiped my tears away the sniffed. “I love you, Eva.” My chest heaved with pain. My lungs hurt every time they expanded. I sniffed again then looked at my parents. The tears dripped down their faces, but I felt no remorse. All of this happened because of them. Words weren’t exchanged because they didn’t need to be. They knew they wouldn’t see me again.
I turned my back on my parents and walked away, the tears still falling.
And that’s when I fell.
Chapter Eighteen
Keira
Scotty burst into my room without knocking. I was to numb to care. I lay in bed, staring out the window at nothing in particular. A bird was nesting in the trees, placing the branches to build a nest. I watched it because it distracted my mind for a moment in time.
He sat at the edge of the bed. “I need to talk to you.”
“What?” My voice was weak.
“I just talked to Liam.”
My heart raced. I turned over and looked at him. “Yeah?”
“He told me why you broke up.”
Oh. I knew what he would say next. “Scotty, leave Liam alone. There’s no point in fighting over it at this point.”
“No,” he said. “It’s not like that. He didn’t tell Adrianna anything. And I can prove it.”
My lungs froze.
“I was the one who told her everything…” He looked down, ashamed. “I slept with her a few times because I was lonely and bored. I had no idea she was after Liam. If I had known, I wouldn’t have said anything.”
I felt the knife slice into my back. “How could you…?”
“Keira, I was wasted. I vaguely remember the conversation. I couldn’t even tell you what I said, but I know I said something.”
I covered my face and took a deep breath. I was speechless.
“Keira, I’m sorry. You know I would never do that on purpose. It just happened. She pulled it out of me…”
I didn’t doubt that. Adrianna was psycho. She’d do anything to get Liam all to herself. “It’s okay.”
“Really?” he asked in surprise.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I know it was an accident.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. “You know I would never hurt you like that.”
“I know. You’ve been there for me since the beginning. You just made a mistake.”
He sighed. “Thank god.”
Liam didn’t lie to me. He was honest the entire time. And I pushed him away. I had to get him back, take him in my arms. I jumped out of bed then changed my clothes. Scotty was still in the room but I didn’t care.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m getting Liam back.” I grabbed my keys.
“Wait,” he said sadly.
“What?”
“I talked to him…”
That didn’t sound good.
“He…he’s pretty pissed about everything. I don’t think you’re going to kiss and make up like last time.”
My heart clenched painfully. I had to get him back. I’d do anything to be with him again. “I have to try.”
He nodded. “Good luck.”
I ran out of the house then peeled out of the driveway.
When I reached his house, I ran to the front door and banged my fists on the wood. A minute passed but he didn’t answer it. I pounded on the door again. His truck was in the driveway so I knew he was home.
He finally opened the door. His eyes were dark, but not with desire. The anger brewed deep inside. He never looked at me like that before. His lips were straight, neither frowning or smiling. He didn’t reach for me. It was like he hated me. “What?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Scotty told me everything…”
He didn’t speak.
“I…God, I’m so sorry. I just…”
“You didn’t trust me.” The fury was deep in his voice. “You didn’t fucking trust me.”
Shit. He was pissed. “I’m sorry… I’ve missed you every single day. I just wanted to come back and be with you again but—”
“But you didn’t. You didn’t.”
I felt the bubble of tears under my eyes. This couldn’t be happening.
“It’s been two months, Keira. I’ve been in agony this entire time, missing my other half. I haven’t slept because the bed doesn’t feel the same without you. I haven’t gone anywhere because I hate to leave the house, where your presence still lingers. But…it’s different now.”
“Please don’t say that to me.”
“I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me.”
“I do!” The tears fell from my eyes.
“You say that now. But when something else comes up, another one of Adrianna’s ploys, we’ll be right back here. I can’t do this anymore.”
“I promise it will be different from now on. I promise.” I was begging.
He shook his head slightly. “After the past you’ve had, I completely understand why trust is so hard for you. Believe me. I get it. But I’ve worked my ass off to gain that trust. And I realize I’ll never really have it. No one will.”
“That’s not true…” I was sobbing. “Please, Liam. Don’t do this. You’re my whole world.”
“And you’re mine…”
“Then please give me another chance.”
“I can’t…not right now.”
“Then when?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I just know you don’t trust me. And I know I don’t have the patience for it anymore.”
“You don’t need to be patient with me,” I said quickly. “You don’t.”
“I wish I could believe you.” He looked at the ground, falling silent.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I lost the only thing that actually meant anything to me. Liam was the air I needed to breathe. He was the water I needed to survive. Now he didn’t want me anymore. He was gone. “No…”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Unsure what to do, I fell to the ground and sat on his steps, my knees to my chest. I couldn’t walk or move. I couldn’t do anything. Liam and I were really over. He would never be mine again. I fucked this up.
I fucked this up.
Liam came beside me and sat down. He didn’t touch me, just listened to me cry.
I covered my face and tried to control the pain in my chest.
“You should go.”
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t.
Liam picked me up then carried me to my car. He put me in the passenger seat then got into the driver’s seat. I continued to cover my face, crying. Liam drove back to my house, saying nothing. He didn’t hold my hand or touch me. He was as distant with me as he’d been
for the past two months.
When I felt the incline of my driveway, I knew I was back at the house. I lowered my hands, staring at the moisture dripping down my palms.
Liam kept his silence from his side of the car.
“Is this really it?” I asked.
He stared out the window. “You don’t trust me.”
“I do.”
“I don’t see it,” he said simply.
“I can prove it to you.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I know you love me and only want me. I know you haven’t been with anyone in the past two months. I know you can’t even look at anyone because it hurts too much. I know you’ll wait forever and you’ll take me back. I know you will.”
He finally looked at me. “Where was that two months ago?”
“I don’t know…but it’s here now.”
He turned away again.
“Liam, please.”
“I need time, Keira.”
I unbuckled my safety belt and moved to his side of the car. I crawled into his lap and sealed my mouth over his. My lips parted his and I kissed him like I’d wanted to for months. His mouth moved against mine and he gripped my hips, showing the same passion. But then he ended it.
“Go inside.”
“No…” I pressed my face to his. “No.”
“Keira…you can’t just kiss me and expect everything to be okay.”
“I’m not. I’m not.”
“I took you back once without hesitation because you weren’t strong. But now you are so you don’t have an excuse.”
“I know. I know I made a mistake. I’ll spend a lifetime making it up to you.”
Liam was quiet for a long time. He didn’t look at me, closing his eyes. His hands didn’t move up and down my arms like they usually did. He wasn’t affectionate with me. He was distant. “Go inside.”
I felt the sting of my eyes, knowing Liam wouldn’t change his mind. But I couldn’t just let him go. “I’m not giving up on you.”
He kept his lips closed.
“You’ve never given up on me and I’ll never give up on you.”
He opened the door then carried me out. He moved to the front door, forcing me to follow him. When we reached the steps, he stopped. He looked at me but didn’t say anything.
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