by Leeah Taylor
“I think I could fall pretty hard for him,” she admitted.
“You think? You don’t think maybe you already have fallen for him?”
She didn’t believe in love at first sight. “Jules…”
“If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s denying your feelings can destroy it all before it starts. It took me to be bloody in Damien’s arms, staring death down, for him to say the words.”
“I’ve known him for less than a week.”
“And? A lot can happen in seven days. Feelings can happen.”
“Not love.”
“Yet,” she wagged a finger at her. “It’s happened.”
Riley bounced to her feet, glaring at her. “No.”
“Liar!”
“Can’t you be happy to see him happy.”
“Absolutely, and I’ll be even happier when you admit you’ve caught the love bug.”
Riley laughed. “I hate you so much.”
“You love me more. And…” she dragged the word out.
“And,” she tossed her hand out. “Maybe, I kinda.” She was understanding Damien’s hesitance. “Like him a lot.”
Juliette threw her head back, laughing. “God, it’s not that hard.”
Fine. I’ll meet her halfway. “I can see forever with him, Jules and I saw it the night we walked in Juleps.”
Nothing could beat the smile growing wide on Juliette’s lips. Lighting up the whole room.
“Close enough.”
The front door slammed, and the amusement vanished. Riley swallowed, eyed Juliette, and went for the door. It was a storm and a scowl to meet her there. She looked passed Damien but nobody else came up the stairs and disappointment washed over her.
“What happened?” Juliette asked.
Damien sighed and shoved into the room.
“It was a slaughter,” he said.
“And?” Juliette pushed.
Damien dropped to the edge of the bed and dragged a hand down his face. “Drew was in there.”
“Shit,” Juliette shoved the covers off. “Where is he?”
“No, Luv.” Damien was already nudging her back into the bed. “You aren’t one hundred percent and Ramsey is still out there. No doubt frothing at the mouth to try again and I’m not looking for the third time to be the charm.”
“Where is he?” Riley asked.
“At the bar,” Damien said, but he was staring down Juliette, daring her to try him.
“She eats and feeds before getting out of that bed,” Riley ordered at the door. “Let me find out you didn’t.”
Juliette glared at Damien, arms over her chest, and Riley wasn’t in the mood for one of their showdowns. I love you was out in the open between them, but the two were still wildly volatile.
“Damien,” Juliette gritted out. “He needs—”
“And he’ll have all he needs with wily over here.”
She may not understand the little world Ollie and Juliette shared. Or what it was to make it work, but she knew he was too sweet and over sensitive for his own good. No doubt finding all the ways he believed it was his fault.
“Xavier is outside,” Damien said. “Tell him I said to walk you there.”
Riley nodded, appreciating the gesture. “I’ll take care of him, Jules. I promise.”
Xavier only nodded when she told him what Damien said and walked with her in silence to the bar. She had no idea what to expect when she found him. Would he be utterly destroyed? Avoiding it? Pretending it didn’t happen? What did angry even look like on him?
She was out of her depth.
History didn’t change Ollie’s feeling. It was clear he cared for Drew or he’d have fired him twenty years ago. Instead, he kept him on the payroll while keeping him at arm’s length. And the only reasonable explanation was Ollie cared. He was the kind to wear his heart on his sleeve and looked to suffer for it.
Xavier stopped with his hand on the door. “He shuts down. Turns to the bottle. Last time was Jules, and it was ugly.” He looked through the window of the door. “Stayed here for weeks swimming to the bottom of a bottle and buried in anyone who’d have him. Keep him from shutting down and you may make some progress.”
She appreciated the insight. “Thank you.”
Xavier nodded warmly and opened the door. “I’ll be right here when you’re ready to go home.”
While Sterling was another normal day with the light traffic she’d become used to and the sidewalks scattered with the usual crowds, Juleps was eerily quiet. There was no staff prepping for the inevitable busy evening. Not even Ivy was behind the bar.
She didn’t have to guess where he was. If the bed and guitar in the backroom with old records decorating the walls were any indication. Ollie made the space his haven with things he loved.
The bar gave him an escape.
Blowing out a breath, she went through the door. A bottle soared through the room with a roar following behind it and shattered against the shelves on the wall. Definitely ugly. Two black pools filled to the brim with guilt, and anguish locked onto her. Indecision flashed in his eyes before he gave her his backside. Heaving a sigh, she risked a step into the space and braced herself for anything.
“Ollie—”
He twisted around. “Go home.”
“I am home.”
Sterling was the home she craved. Ollie was the cozy warmth a home might have. And she was loving her new home.
“No,” he shook his head, turning away from her. “Just go back to the house. It’s safer.”
If the edge in his voice was meant to scare her, it didn’t work. She’d faced monsters of men, and he wasn’t one of them.
“I am safe.”
Ollie snorted. “Nah, sweetheart, if history has proven anything it’s you’d be safer in a pit of venomous snakes than sticking around me.”
“Oliver…”
“Go. Home. Riley. Don’t want to see you in a body bag next.”
“It doesn’t work that way, and you know it.”
“Yeah, well, fate and I have a funny kind of relationship where it does work like that. Now go.”
He couldn’t believe fate was intelligently cruel. Death was a part of life. It happened. For no reason at all. Even if it felt like some punishment.
She took slow steps to close the gap. Taking in all his agony. He didn’t do things halfway, it seemed. It was full steam ahead whether it was love or pain. Both looked to have the power to destroy him and oddly, she fell harder for him because of it.
Riley reached for him, snatching his hand before he could pull away. “Oliver, it doesn’t work like that.”
She held tighter when he tried again to jerk back. She wasn’t Juliette or his brothers and perhaps they’d let him pull away, but not her.
“People die, every day, for no other reason than that’s life. It hurts. It makes no sense. But it’s no more your fault than it is mine.”
“You don’t understand.”
“You right,” she nodded softly. “I don’t know who you’ve lost to hurt you so painfully you’d believe it’s some act of cruelty by fate. But it is not your fault.” She cupped a hand to his cheek, forcing him to look at her. “Drew is not your fault.”
His stare hardened, and he pulled away. She let him, but he wasn’t leaving the room drowning in guilt. By the looks of it, he’d already been doing it for years anyway and she had no idea for what.
She could relate to all his angry pain. Understood the anguish of losing someone. It stuck with a person. Anchor to the heart and soul and if given the power, destroy them.
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he muttered with his back to her. “Figured he’d be safer at the warehouse than whoever’s couch he was crashing on. Because that was Drew. I sent Jet to get him and make him go. Probably been better off wherever he was.”
He dropped to the edge of the bed. Defeated didn’t look good on him. Yet he looked beaten since falling to his knees at Juliette’s side and watched, help
less, as she slipped away.
“You couldn’t have known what Ramsey would do. You did nothing wrong…”
“You don’t get it.”
“No, I don’t fucking get it. I don’t get how you can twist this into some blame game, and it falls on you. Please make me understand.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for an answer. Any logical explanation, but he said nothing.
Ollie looked away. “Just go home, Riley.”
“I told you, I am home.”
He shot to his feet with a flicker of something she’d never seen before. “No! I am not home—”
“Ollie…”
“I am not the safe, warm place you’re looking to call home—”
She gritted her teeth. “Oliver.”
“You are better off—”
Fire exploded in her veins. If it was tough love he was looking for, she knew all about tough love. If it was an alpha he was looking to go head to head with, she was happy to oblige. Her fists slammed into his chest, shoving him back.
“You don’t get to tell me where I call home. Sure as hell don’t have any right to decide how I’m better off. And certainly not while you use fate as the goddamn excuse.” She shoved him harder. “I’ve been to hell and back in my brief life and a damn picture is what I had to give me a hope. Hope, one day, I might have a place to call home again.”
“Sweets…”
“No.” She backed away from him. “Now if I want to call you home, I will do it. If I want to see forever with you, well, you don’t get to take it away from me because you’re having a moment of self-loathing and wallowing in the shadow of grief.” If he had any fight in him, it vanished. “You want to be angry. Fine, be angry. You want to be devastated because you loved him, and he died? Fine, I’m here and it’s okay. But do not stand here, looking at me like I’m a mistake because you’re suddenly scared because damn it, I think I—”
His lips landed on hers, swallowing up the words and taking her breath away. It touched down to her soul as his passion warred with his pain, and he deepened the kiss. As if it might heal him entirely. If he’d let her, she’d try. Anything to cast out the pain rippling through him.
He slipped his hands over her cheeks, touching his forehead to hers. “Not a mistake, Sweets.”
“You are not some curse, Ollie. Fate isn’t some invisible force aiming at a target on your back.” She covered his hands. “Loving you is not a death sentence. But you are a warm, safe place to call home and I’ve been homeless for too long. Don’t toss me out now.”
A small smile ghosted on his lips. “Only place I’m tossing you is in my bed.”
“It’s a good warm place to call home too.”
“Don’t put up with no bullshit, do you Sweets?”
“Nope, never will either.”
He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “Loving me, hmmm?”
Damn him.
She looked away with a smirk. “I was trying to make…”
He took her by the chin, making her look at him.
“I think I love you too.”
Her stomach dropped to her feet and heart out of her chest. From the outside, watching Damien, she was sure it wasn’t as hard as he was making it out to be. But gazing up at Ollie, eyes wide and mouth dry, she was understanding. She couldn’t take it back once it was said and once it was, it meant something.
He smirked. “It’s okay not to say—”
“I love you.” The words tumbled out of her mouth without a hint of hesitation. “I… there’s no other word for it. Like isn’t enough. Lust feels contrived. It’s not just home with you. It’s the idea of losing the chance of forever making me sick. But not knowing what forever looks like and still being excited by all the possibilities.”
He tugged towards the bed and onto his lap. “I’m sorry, Sweets.”
“I don’t need you to be sorry. Surely not over your grief. You hurt, and it’s okay. You loved him. And that’s okay, too. But you can’t carry all the blame for things out of your control because it’s not okay. And trying to do it all alone is worse.”
She relaxed further in his lap, resting her hands on his chest.
“Mourn him in whatever way you need. I told you, I’m here and I’ll carry it with you or for you, if I can. But mourn him. Grieve him.”
There was still a fight ahead of them. Ramsey was a threat. Ollie needed his wits if he was going into the fight. Driven by emotion and he risked doing something stupid all in the name of Drew.
Not when forever was at her fingertips.
The first crack in his already gentle shell shined through when he looked away. Eyes glassy with his pain and she ached to soothe him, by reaching down deep to his soul and hold it together for him while he broke.
“It’s okay,” she cooed, holding him close as he broke.
Kissing the top of his head when he wrapped his arms around her. As if trying to crawl inside of her to find some peace. She was content to give him somewhere to escape it all. Even his pain for losing a love.
She coaxed him to lie in the bed beside her and snuggled him deeper into her chest. Ready to spend the rest of the day and night being his strength while he broke because it seemed nobody had for a long time.
Ollie | 14
He tilted his head back toward the sky and the ghost of a memory shuddered down in his bones. Sometimes he wondered if he’d made the right choice back then. When Damien gave him the choice.
He’d be an old man now. Not human, but not quite immortal either. A taste of it. Maybe he’d have a family. Children. But he didn’t make that choice. He made the other one. And in some ways, he was still lucky to have a family. Different as it was, it did really matter.
Even if the sentiment meant Ramsey lived tomorrow night. Lucky bastard.
Family dinner earlier had been healing. Gathered around the kitchen with laughter filling a house which had heard little in the two decades. A smile here and there, but nothing close to the lighthearted banter and giggling that erupted.
His family was finally whole, like it used to be and with a few additions.
“Hey,” Riley hugged to his side. “You okay?”
He nodded, hugging her back with a kiss to the forehead. One look at her and he knew he made the right choice.
“I’m getting there.”
Drew, despite his betrayal, was one of the loves of his life, even if he wouldn’t admit it. He didn’t deserve the victory over him. Not after all he did to destroy his heart. But he deserved more than laying in the cold of a coroner’s office while Val Valena was restored.
Ollie had done right by him since the day it all came to a painful screeching end for no other reason than he cared. Too much sometimes.
“Are you sure, sir? You don’t want to wait for Val Valena?” Xavier asked.
Ollie looked over the small clearing, then down at the bay. Sterling lit up in the distance. The view from the Point was always magnificent. Especially under a full moon and a night with more stars in the sky than he’d seen in a while.
The tightness in his chest was familiar. And the hurt seeping down in his bones more so. Saying goodbye was nothing new, and it was as painful now as it was then.
“Deserves better than cold storage,” Ollie said. “And he liked it up here.”
Xavier nodded, casting a quick glance at the small wooden box a few feet away. The little remains left was enough to fill a casket fit for a child. And the thought only made him sicker.
“Take your time, sir. I’ll tend to any remnants when you’re ready.”
“I appreciate it,” Ollie smiled. “And Xavier?”
“Sir.”
“Please stop calling me sir. We’ve talked about this.”
The man smirked. “We have,” he paused, eyeing him. “Sir.”
“Impossible,” Ollie mumbled. “Lucky you’re twice my size or I’d kick your ass.”
Xavier chuckled as he walked away. “I’d love
to see you try, sir.”
Riley’s hand found his with a squeeze. “You’re a good man.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sure it’s a flaw.”
“Not a terrible flaw to have.”
The last time he crumbled and sobbed in a person’s arms was when he found out about Drew’s infidelity. It was Juliette who held and soothed him, but it didn’t stop him from packing a bag and taking off the next day. And maybe if he’d stayed back then things had been different. Again, he took in the girl at his side and knew it was meant to be.
She held him while he sobbed for the same man and not only soothed him but calmed him. There was no desire to run and hide from his pain. Not this time.
He kissed her temple before digging the matches out of his pocket. The smell of gasoline grew thicker as he neared the box. Sighing, he crouched down beside the box.
“The shit I’ve done for you,” he huffed. “Nothing more than I loved you and you didn’t deserve it. Damn pain in my ass. But I figure I was as much a pain in your ass too and owe you this much. Put you to rest somewhere you loved. But if you try to haunt me, you little shit, I’ll bring ya back and kill you myself.”
He stood and let out a slight breath. A hand found his, and he tugged her close. Striking the match, lighting the entire book, he tossed it on the box. Flames were instant, taking the box in a fiery blaze.
“Rest easy.”
He drew Riley close, turning away from the blaze, and started toward his jeep.
“Like I said,” Riley snuggled to his chest. “Damn good man.”
“Well, this damn good man is about to dirty you up all night.”
She stared up at him under hooded eyes. Looking too delicious. “Are you now?”
“That’s right,” he dipped down to capture her bottom lip. “Tell me no, Sweets.”
“Now why would I ever tell you no.”
“Dangerous, sweetheart, entirely dangerous.” He pecked her lips. “Come on, let’s go home.”
“Which home would that be?”
He smiled. “The one where you are. Now come on, before I get disrespectful of the dead and have you up against that tree.”
She giggled. “I get the sneaky suspicion Drew would encourage it.”
“He would actually,” He opened the passenger door with a nod at Xavier where he stood at his truck. “But I’m not fond of Xavier watching in the shadows and I plan on making you scream.”