Gabriel’s expression sharpened as he scrutinized Ren. “You truly love him, don’t you? This isn’t misplaced guilt or that disgusting streak of martyrdom you’ve been carrying around since the children were taken.”
“I do feel guilt. And sorrow, but that is not why I offer myself. Adam is the heart of my being and I cannot simply stand aside and allow him to be hurt. I love him too much.”
Gabriel nodded and a sad understanding came over his face.
“I’ll go and speak to them again, this time making sure they know the full extent of your commitment to Adam.”
“Is there any word on Dominicus’ appeal?” Guilt trapped his breath in Ren’s chest. Not only had he led Adam into danger, but now Dom could lose the woman he’d fought so hard to save.
“Nothing official. They had a blessing from the Most High and in light of that, all are reluctant to enforce the curses.”
“What is the Most High’s stance?”
“He is greatly sorrowed. His children are facing a grim future. To ease their pain would contradict His own Law. Your desire to take the burden of the human has moved him in his grief. He is in favor of your proposal and yet he mourns you. He might not be able to withdraw the curses, but His favor would speak to many.”
“And the humans?” The covenant wasn’t one-sided. The humans had to agree to Ren’s proposal as well.
“Humans are more pliable. Leave them to me.”
The hint of smugness in Gabriel’s expression brought a reluctant smile to Ren’s face.
“May I never have to argue a case against you, friend.”
The smile faded as quickly as it appeared. If his offer was approved, he would never have the opportunity to argue any case. The concept of an eternity in Hell became very real. Fear tightened his skin and his feathers prickled.
Gabriel closed the distance between them and cupped Ren’s face in his hands. “At one time I would not have worried about the outcome of such a debate, but now you feel love. Your brilliant legalist mind is tempered by compassion. If you were not set on this course you would be a staunch advocate to those standing Judgment.”
Ren ducked his head and stepped back from Gabriel’s touch, uncomfortable with the praise. He brought this on Adam’s head. He didn’t deserve such high regard from the archangel.
“When word comes, I may be found in the Welkin.”
“You are visiting your daughter?” Gabriel’s surprise shamed him. He should have visited the vault every day for the last seven thousand years. Now he would never have another chance.
“I will be saying goodbye.”
“Ren, your courage and selflessness is beyond words. I will beg for leniency.”
“Not at Adam’s expense. I will bear the full brunt of the consequence and he will bear none. Swear it.” Demanding such a promise was a slight to an angel’s honor, but Ren could not find it in him to apologize. Not when Adam’s well-being was on the line.
“As I have already promised Renatus.”
The angel vanished, leaving Ren staring over the valley once more. Taking a deep breath of the clean mountain air, he said his final goodbye to Earth and left.
* * * * *
Much later, Ren materialized in the place to which Gabriel called him. It was a nothingness the likes of which he’d never seen before. A misty grayness enveloped him. The plane was featureless, giving no impression of distance or solidity. The very ground on which he stood seemed as insubstantial as fog.
The blankness made his eyes ache.
“Gabriel?” He turned in a slow circle, searching for his superior. At least he thought he was turning. It was difficult to tell in the disorienting void.
“Welcome, Renatus.”
Ren twisted, searching for the source of the voice. For a long moment there was nothing, then Gabriel stepped out of the mists.
“I suppose welcome isn’t quite the word I should use for this place, is it?” Gabriel looked around, his expression grim.
“Where are we?” Ren asked, confused. He’d never been here before, never heard of its existence.
“We are in your own personal purgatory. I have but a few moments to tell you of the outcome of the negotiations.”
“Adam?” Ren’s chest seized, his breath locked in his throat.
“Adam is safe.”
With those words, the air rushed back into Ren’s lungs until he felt like he would burst. Adam was safe. Closing his eyes he sent up a silent praise be. Whatever else Gabriel had to tell him meant nothing after the reassurance his lover would come to no harm.
“Please have a seat and listen closely.”
“Have a seat where?” Ren waved his hand at the emptiness surrounding them.
“Anywhere. Just sit. The plane will supply what is needed, in this case a seat.” Gabriel sat, seeming to hover in midair.
Ren lowered himself cautiously, and a solid perch simply became under him.
“What exactly is this place? You said it was my personal purgatory.”
“It has no name. It was brought into being specifically for the purpose of fulfilling the terms of the agreement made with the humans. In light of your plea, a proposal was taken before the human delegation to spare Adam from the curses promised in the original covenant. They were in favor of one of their own being spared. That part of the proposal was accepted with no opposition.” Gabriel frowned in disgust.
“Do not look so irritated. The Host was also loath to spare the human at the expense of one of their own. Protecting one’s own is instinctual,” Ren reminded him.
“So it is,” Gabriel conceded with a slow nod. “As I expected, Dom and Maggie’s blessing has spared them. What the Most High has joined, no man is willing to pull asunder.”
Ren closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. “Thank you.”
“There is no thanks to be given here. This was entirely the decision of the angels and human council.”
Ren nodded in understanding. “And what of my fate?”
“You are not so fortunate. Without a blessing you have no shield. Your willingness to forsake your own eternity moved the angels, though. Because of this, the angels pleaded for mercy.”
“I did not ask for mercy.” How dare they? Sparing him would put Adam in danger. Did they not see this? Or did they not care?
“Do not bristle at me. We are aware it was not your request, however such a selfless act should not go unrewarded. I am also aware you are not looking for a reward. That is what makes the act selfless.”
Ren nodded in acceptance. “I apologize. I worry for Adam. This will not have an effect on his absolution?”
“It will not.” Gabriel reached between them to place a reassuring hand on Ren’s shoulder. “I understand your need to be there to protect him. Were it possible, I would take you to him myself. Raphael has assigned Evangelos to guard him and his well-being is a priority with the Most High.”
The heartfelt truth of those words rang through Ren’s soul, offering a peace which would sustain him through the ages.
“Now, we must discuss the final terms quickly. The demons are arriving.”
Demons.
The stark reality of the Curse of Eternal Damnation hit Ren full force and he could not stop the shiver of icy fear winding its way down his spine. “They come to take me to Hell, then?”
“No. One of the concessions by the humans was to spare you Hell itself. The sentence will be carried out here, in this place of nothingness.”
“One of the concessions? There are more?” Ren was afraid to hope for more and yet he couldn’t stop his heart from leaping in his chest.
“The other concession is a bit more complex. Some of the humans felt your punishment should be small, that your love for Adam and determination to save him from any harm should be recognized in the final terms. Others felt you should take on exactly what you requested—the full measure of the curses.”
Ren could well imagine the bickering which ensued over such details. It was hard e
nough to find twelve average humans who agreed on the mundane. No doubt the twelve legal and religious scholars of the human delegation all had their own ideas on how to interpret the covenant and uphold it. “And what was decided?”
“Their ideas were combined. First, and most importantly, your term will be finite. There will be no eternal damnation for you.”
Relief swept over Ren and he became lightheaded. For a moment he lost his sense of up. Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his knees and cradled his head in his hands. Dizziness assaulted him, making his stomach clench and leaving him feeling as if he were about to topple over into a heap.
“In Earthly terms, you will remain here one month for every day you spent with Adam. I did not tell them just how long you were with him. I believe they expected more than the three months this would come to.”
A bubble of laughter escaped Ren at the wily bit of trickery on Gabriel’s part. He pushed himself upright to meet the seraph’s eyes.
“Some might consider this dishonest,” he pointed out.
“Nonsense,” Gabriel huffed. “I’m an angel. We are inherently honest. It is not my fault they did not ask for a tally of your days on Earth before they reached this number.”
“What else? That cannot be all there is.”
“Indeed it isn’t. Others in the group were against such a simple solution, pointing out it only covered your culpability, not the human’s. They asked for the creation of this place.” Gabriel’s outstretched arms brought Ren’s attention back to the void.
“My personal purgatory.”
“Yes. There is nothing here but punishment. Nothing. This includes time. When I come to you in three months, you will have experienced twice Adam’s full lifetime worth of torture, and because of your pleas for mercy, Adam will live to be a very old man.”
It was more than he could have ever hoped. He stood and gave Gabriel a formal bow. “I find these terms acceptable. Please extend my gratitude to both the human delegation and the Host for their mercy for both Adam and myself.”
“One more thing, Renatus.”
Ren froze, bent at the waist, half afraid and half anxious to hear what else Gabriel had to say.
“At the end of your incarceration on this plane you are free.”
Ren straightened with a frown. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. How am I free?”
“If Adam is willing, the Most High will offer his blessings, with the full approval of the Host and the human delegation. You can bond with him. Marry him, as the humans would say.”
Ren stared at Gabriel, stupefied by the words, certain he hadn’t heard them correctly. He must have mistaken what was said because what he heard simply could not be.
Could it?
Gabriel jerked to his feet, twisting to look at some unknown thing hovering beyond the void. “They come.”
He turned to face Ren once more, concern etching deep lines in his face. “My time here is up. I am…” He dropped his gaze, as if unable to look upon Ren anymore. “Be brave and hold tight, Renatus. This, too, shall end. Remember, when all seems lost.”
Before he could answer, Gabriel was gone and he found himself lying naked, his limbs stretched to the utmost of their endurance, and pinned in place by an unseen force.
From the distance came a hideous noise, the cackling laughs and giddy shrieks of Hell’s residents coming to take their first decadent taste of an angel’s pure power. Dark forms emerged out of the nothingness, growing blacker and more sinister with every step they took. They brought with them the spirit of oppression. It hung thick in the air, weighing it down until he wanted to weep in despair.
The largest of the demons moved to stand between Renatus’ feet. He stood over seven feet tall and a set of horns twisted from his skull more than a foot beyond that. His leathery skin seemed to absorb light, to dim the space around him. Scarlet eyes gleamed in his a piglike face and his smile revealed yellowed fangs.
Lucifer himself had come to feed.
“Hello, Ren. So good to see you again. Especially like this.” Satan laughed at his own jest and the legion of ghouls behind him joined in. Their screams of amusement carried an edge of hysteria which speared through Ren’s mind, driving him toward madness.
Meela stepped up to Lucifer’s side. “May I have the first taste, My Liege?” she asked, trailing her claws up the inside of Ren’s leg, scoring the skin and releasing venom into his blood in a searing wave of pain.
“Get away from him, you stupid bitch,” Lucifer roared, striking Meela and sending her sprawling across the ground. “You have cost me more souls than I care to count. You’ll not be rewarded for that failing with a taste of angel.”
The demons around him squealed at Meela’s pain. Some of them attacked her, jumping in to bite and claw at her with quick swipes before leaping away again. She swung at them, but they were too fast and too plentiful for her. Blood trickled over her scales in bright rivulets as they continued their gleeful assault.
A tendril of pity wound its way past Ren’s fear. The feeling was fleeting, though. The evil pressing in from every side overrode everything but the terror and corroded his ability to think.
He tried to remember how this had happened, how he got to this place. Why was this happening? Why was the Most High allowing this?
Then he saw it. He remembered. Warm brown eyes which carried a keen intelligence, curling brown hair shot with threads of silver, and a smile which transformed a face from average to stunningly beautiful.
Adam.
Right now Adam was home, safe and happy. All Ren had to do was endure and he’d stay that way.
Praise be.
Lucifer’s snarl of anger let him know his thanksgiving had not gone unnoticed. A gnarled, talon-tipped finger was drawn down the line of flesh where Ren’s torso met thigh. More venom. More fire coursing through his blood.
“We’ll see if you still want to offer praises when I’m through with you.” Saliva dripped from Lucifer’s fangs and his lips twisted into a sneer. Reaching across Ren, he grabbed a handful of feathers and yanked, ripping them from the fragile skin.
Ren’s eyes watered in pain and he fought to keep the image of Adam in his mind. For him. It is all for him. He blinked away the tears and focused on the bloody white feathers Lucifer held. He clenched his teeth tightly together and refused to give Lucifer the satisfaction of a response.
“Now, my old friend, it is time to dine.” Bending his head, Lucifer ran his tongue over Renatus’ scrotum before sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of his groin. Ren could not hold back his scream of pain. Then the demons descended, ripping the flesh from his bones and consuming him.
Chapter Nine
Three Months Later, the First Night of Hanukkah
“Adam, stay here. You shouldn’t be driving all the way back to your house tonight.”
“I’d feel more comfortable in my own home, Mom. Besides, I just live a few miles away. It’s not like I’m going far.” Adam took his mother’s hands from his cheeks and brushed a kiss over her forehead.
“But the roads are icy.”
“The roads are fine. I made it here in one piece, I can make it back home.”
“Fine,” she said, waving her hands in the air and turning her back on him. “But if you kill yourself on those roads, don’t call me. I’m staying right here where it’s safe.”
“Okay, I won’t call you if I’m dead. I’m still going home for the night. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
She perched on the edge of a chair at the dining room table and watched the flame of the candle dance in the menorah.
“Can’t you stay, Adam? I hate being alone in this big house.”
Adam tried to hold back a pain-filled sigh. Hadn’t he felt the same since Ren left? Every night, he wandered through a house that had once seemed so welcoming. Now it was nothing more than a shell, a cold, lonely building where his footsteps echoed through empty rooms.
He pulled out a chair and sat beside her. “Mo
m, I know you want company, but I’m just not up to it. Not tonight.” Maybe not even this month. Or next.
“Oh, baby boy, I wish you would tell me what happened.”
“Mom—”
“Don’t you ‘mom’ me and don’t deny it. You’re hurting and have been for months. You might not talk about your love life with your mother but that doesn’t mean she can’t tell when your heart’s been broken.”
Almost against his will, Adam’s hand rose to press against his heart, trying to soothe the soul-deep agony. When would it stop hurting?
Suddenly the idea of spending the holiday alone seemed unbearable.
“How about if I pack a bag and I’ll spend a few days starting tomorrow? Maybe we can have Aunt Bettie and her crew over for dinner one night and fill this place up too.”
“That sounds like a good idea. Oh, but I need to go shopping. I don’t have enough food to feed everyone.”
“I can take you.”
He started to push his weary body up from the chair, but she stopped him with a hand on his forearm.
“When did you lose your faith, Adam?” Her soft brown eyes were full of concern as she kept him pinned to the chair with that one hand resting on his sleeve.
Guilt stopped him. For years he’d tried to hide his unbelieving heart. He should have known he couldn’t fool his mother. Then Ren came and he’d started to believe again.
“I don’t know. Maybe I never had it.” Or maybe he’d had a remnant waiting to be kindled.
Now that scrap of faith had been fed by an angel, attacked by a demon and crushed by a Creator who would give him the one he could love forever, only to take him away again two days later.
Memories of Ren flooded him; the timid man who battled evil as a winged warrior.
Suddenly the old house seemed far too small, his mother’s presence too suffocating. He rose and headed for the front door, barely managing to keep himself from running to it.
“I have to go.”
“Okay, you go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He hesitated at the door. He hated leaving her but staying seemed unbearable.
“I love you, Mom.”
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