by Nita Wick
“That’s all right. I can see it fine from here.”
Josh looked up to find Addie standing several feet away with her arms crossed. She gave him a small smile. An odd notion entered his mind. “Is somethin’ wrong?”
She shook her head. “No. Not at all. So which stallion should we put to her next time?”
“Addie, are you scared of the horse?”
Her eyes widened, and her arms fell to her sides. “No.”
He searched her eyes. Something wasn’t quite right.
A heavy sigh left her, and she closed her eyes. “No, I’m not afraid of them. I’m terrified.”
Shock infused him. Why had he never seen it? She was the easiest person in the world to read and yet he’d never seen her fear. “You’re not afraid of anythin’.”
Laughter filled the air. “I’m afraid of animals. Especially big ones.”
“But you weren’t afraid of the oxen. You hitched them up yourself and fed them.”
“I had no choice. And you have no idea how much they frightened me. I had nightmares about them the first few nights on the trail.”
Josh rubbed the back of his neck, tension beginning to build there. Maybe he didn’t know this woman as well as he thought. “You never showed any signs.”
She smiled. “I learned to hide my fear when I started medical school. It was a matter of survival. The wolves at Harvard would have eaten me alive. For a doctor, it was good thing to learn. Can you imagine how Mrs. Wheeler would have reacted if she’d seen my fear when I realized the children had cholera?”
He walked toward her. “All this time I felt like I could almost read your thoughts on your face, in your eyes. How could I have been so wrong?”
She worried her lip for a moment. She looked past him, staring at the horse. “Papa used to tell me that if I didn’t want someone to know what I was thinking, I shouldn’t look them in the eye.” A soft laugh escaped her. “I learned to hide the fear. Apparently I haven’t mastered the other emotions yet.”
“You never fail to amaze me.” He pushed his hat back. “Or confuse the hell out of me. No wonder you don’t want to stay here. You’re afraid of the animals.”
She shrugged. “I just don’t want to get too close to them. It’s not the animals that bother me. It’s…it’s all of this.” Turning in a circle, palms up, she shook her head. “I can’t do this alone. I don’t even want to try.” She stopped and faced him. “Why should I? There’s no one to share it with.” She gestured toward the ranch house, unseen behind the walls of the stable. “That house is so big. And it’s empty. No family. I’ll stay here until spring, but then….”
This was his chance. She didn’t want to stay here alone. “That’s somethin’ I wanted to talk to you about.”
Her hands rose to her hips. “Oh, no, mister. Don’t you dare tell me you’ve changed your mind. You’re taking me to San Francisco. We can leave now if you want, but I will not let you renege.”
He couldn’t stop the smile that formed. “No, I’m not goin’ back on my word. I’ll take you to San Francisco whenever you want.”
The sound of approaching horses interrupted once again. Cursing beneath his breath, he watched Addie move to the door.
“Oh, my. It’s snowing. Big, heavy flakes.” She leaned out the door to view the house. “It’s Uncle Rick. I didn’t expect to see him again until he heard from the circuit judge. He must have the approval for the divorce.” She raised her chin and smiled. “Your freedom is at hand.”
His gut twisted. “Addie….”
“I’d better go greet him. You should come too. He’ll want to get back to town before there’s too much snow on the ground.”
“Wait. I need to talk to you.”
“Let’s get rid of Uncle Rick first. It won’t take long to sign whatever papers he needs. Then we can talk about the horses, or San Francisco, or whatever it is on your mind.” She hurried through the door without looking back.
“Damn it.” He didn’t want to sign any blasted papers. He took a deep breath. Fine. He could always marry her again. She could have a big ceremony with a nice dress and flowers if she wanted. And if it took him the rest of his life, he’d convince her that marriage wasn’t the horrible institution of female slavery she believed it to be.
By the time he reached the porch, the falling snow covered him from head to toe. Josh pulled off his hat, beating it against his legs, knocking as much of the snow off his pants as he could. He stomped his feet and wiped his boots on the mat outside the door before he pulled it opened. Warm air met his entrance, but the chill inside him remained.
Mr. Foster stood at the door to the main room. “In here, Reynolds.”
Hanging his hat on the peg, he nodded and took off his coat. He took a deep breath and hung the coat on the rack. This is for the best. It’s what Addie wants. He raked his fingers through his hair, turned, and squared his shoulders.
Addie rose from the sofa. Her hands brushed the folds of her dress. “In just a few moments, you’ll be a free man again.”
Josh schooled his features. His jaw clenched. How did he tell her he didn’t want to be free?
Mr. Foster moved around them and handed a pen quill to Addie. She sat down on the edge of the sofa. The solicitor leaned down. “Sign here, dear.”
Addie seemed anything but anxious. She dipped the quill in the ink well and carefully drew the quill against the edge of the well’s rim, removing the excess ink. A shaking arm moved toward the paper. Confusion filled him. He scanned her pale features. She bit her lip. Finally, she signed her name.
She let out a wobbly breath as she finished. “There.” She refused to look at him.
His little voice screamed at him. Something was wrong. She was hiding something. Did she not want the divorce any more than he did? If there was even the slightest chance she loved him, he couldn’t let this happen.
Mr. Foster took the quill and offered it to him. “Now, if you’ll just sign on the line below her name, your marriage will be dissolved.”
Josh searched the old man’s face. Anger and resentment darkened his features, but he said nothing more. His gaze returned to Addie. She looked away, apparently unwilling to meet his gaze. The answer was always in her eyes. Wasn’t it? She could hide her fear, but her other feelings were always there.
He needed more time. He needed…. Hell, he needed Addie. If he let her go without a fight, he’d regret it for the rest of his life.
Josh glanced one more time at Addie’s profile and shoved the doubts away. “Mr. Foster, could you excuse us, please? I want to talk to Addie.”
Foster heaved an irritated sigh and mumbled under his breath. Josh couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like “It’s about time.” The older man called over his shoulder as he left the room, “I’ll be in the kitchen with Mrs. Simmons.”
Addie stood. Her eyes revealed her confusion. “Joshua, the snow.” She pointed toward the window. “He’ll be stuck here if he doesn’t leave soon.”
“I don’t care. This is important.”
“What is it?” She wrung her hands. Worry clouded her features. “You said you’d stay until spring. What is so important that it must be discussed now?”
He strode toward her and grasped her hands. “It’s the divorce. I think…I think we’re making a mistake.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“Well, after last night—”
“Stop.” Addie’s jaw clenched. She pulled her hands from his and stepped away. “Last night was perfect. Don’t you dare ruin it with your guilty conscience.”
“What?”
She pointed her finger at him. “I won’t have it, Joshua. Do you understand?” Her index finger reversed position and tapped her own chest. “I wanted you. I made that decision just like all the times before. You didn’t seduce me. You never pressured me. It was my choice. You don’t owe me anything.”
“But—”
“Oh, and if you mention the possibility of a child again, I�
��ll just….” She shook her head as an angry groan escaped her lips. “I told you. If there’s a child, I am perfectly capable of raising him—or her—on my own. You can see him whenever you want, and I won’t marry again. You don’t have to worry about someone else raising your child. Satisfied?”
Josh pinched the bridge of his nose. Frustration tore at him. “No.” He met her gaze. “No, damn it. I’m not.” Josh gripped her shoulders. “Will you just listen to me for a minute? This ain’t about guilt. And I ain’t worried about you gettin’ pregnant.”
“You’re not?” Her angry expression fled, but the suspicion returned. Her blue eyes narrowed again. “Then why won’t you just sign the papers and have done with it?”
Josh swallowed. Baring his heart and soul was a hell of lot harder than he’d expected. And he hadn’t anticipated the fear that clogged his throat and tightened his chest to the point he feared he might faint. He searched for the right words. “I don’t want a divorce.”
Her eyes widened. Surprise—no, shock—replaced the questions written on her face. “Why not?” she whispered.
His hands fell away from her shoulders. “Well….” His heart thudded like a herd of stampeding buffalo. “It’s about that child, darlin’.”
She crossed her arms and raised a brow. “The child that may or may not have been conceived last night?”
He nodded. “Or the one that might be conceived tonight or tomorrow or next week. I want to watch your belly swell with that child.” He closed his eyes for an instant to imagine Addie, her stomach big with his baby. His racing heart eased with the image, but apprehension still made it hard to breathe. “I want to see that baby nurse at your breast. And I want…I want to stay here with you and raise horses and babies.”
Addie’s jaw dropped. “You do?”
He reached for her hands and held them, amazed all over again at how much strength the small, feminine fingers possessed. Thoughts of the tenderness and passion conveyed by those beautiful hands skittered through his head. “I know I told you I didn’t want a wife, but I’ve changed my mind. You’ve changed my mind. I want to be your husband.”
He lifted his gaze from her hands to meet her eyes. She stared back at him. He waited for her to say something, waited for her eyes to reveal her thoughts, but her stunned expression revealed nothing but uncertainty and confusion.
Josh pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I don’t deserve you, darlin’. I know that. But it doesn’t stop me from wantin’ you. I may not be able to buy you those pretty silk underthings you like. I’m damn glad you can afford them, because I sure do like to see you in them.” He chuckled, but the significance of what he needed to tell her sobered him. “I’m not an important man, but I promise you, Addie….” He paused to touch the softness of her cheek. Her luscious mouth tempted him, and his fingers trailed to her full bottom lip. He needed to kiss her. He had to make her understand.
“Promise me what, Joshua?” She leaned toward him.
He tore his thoughts away from the kiss he wanted, needed. “No man will ever love you more than I do.”
Addie’s eyes filled with tears, and she laid her palm against his chest, but she didn’t speak. Emotions, one after another, played behind the shimmering blue orbs.
Josh read each and every one. A guarded hope filled him, but her silence wouldn’t allow him to release his fear. “Say somethin’.”
She licked her lips. Her eyes closed, and she swallowed audibly. Still, she didn’t speak.
“Damn it, woman. You’re killin’ me. Say somethin’.”
Her lashes lifted. Her indigo blue eyes held only one thought—one warm, fearless, tender emotion. He knew the words she would speak even before they tumbled from her lips in a breathless whisper. “I love you, Joshua.”
Josh gathered her in his arms and claimed her lips. He let his tongue delve into the depths of her honeyed mouth. Need consumed him. Need to show her how much she meant to him. Need to make certain she knew she belonged to him. Forever.
“Ahem.” A graveled voice interrupted the sweet, passionate kiss. Josh raised his head to find Foster standing in the doorway, his coat bundled tightly around him. The old man held his hat in his gloved hands. “As it appears I’m no longer
needed here, I’ll be heading back to town before I get snowed in.”
Addie’s face flushed a rosy pink. “We’re going to stay married, Uncle Rick.”
The man’s gray head bobbed, and he smiled. “Your father would be so happy, Adelaide. He can rest in peace now. You’ve got a good husband who knows how lucky he is to have you for his wife.”
Addie’s smile brightened the room. “Now I just have to make certain he doesn’t forget it.”
Foster nodded. “I’ll see you when the roads are passable again.” He jammed his hat on his head. His footsteps echoed in the foyer, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing.
Joshua turned to the table and grabbed the papers. He strode to the hearth and tossed them into the fire. The flames licked the edges for a moment before engulfing the pages in a bright flash. Josh swung his attention back to Addie. She watched the papers burn, a grin playing about her lips. His own lips curved in response. “You’re mine now, darlin’. I won’t have you changin’ your mind and tryin’ to get me to sign those.”
Her grin widened. She shook her head and flew across the room to him. His wife threw herself into his arms, grasped his face, and pressed her sweet lips to his. His wife. The title thrilled him and comforted him all at once.
The kiss began as a light, happy exchange, but within the space of a few beats of his suddenly light and contented heart, their passion bloomed. Heat spiraled through him, and the kiss awakened the sleeping beast that roared to life every time she touched him. He bent, lifted her into his arms, and strode toward the stairs.
“Joshua, it’s the middle of the day.” Her words might have been an objection, but the impish gleam in her eyes told him otherwise.
“Who says babies have to be made in the dark?”
Author Bio:
Nita Wick lives in southern Tennessee with her husband of 20 years and two awesome teenagers. She works fulltime at a small credit union and runs a one-woman show at a branch office where she is the teller, vault custodian, new accounts secretary, and loan officer.
With a job and a family, she doesn't have much free time, but when she's not busy working as cook, maid, chauffeur, or financial advisor, you will find her either reading or writing. She sticks with romance novels because she believes that there absolutely, positively, must be a happily-ever-after ending!