by Carol Wyer
‘When Gavin and I got married, he took me to the Bahamas for our honeymoon. It was beautiful there. Gavin wanted us to go snorkelling but when we went out on the boat, I couldn’t get into the water. I pretended I was feeling queasy and managed to get out of it. He took me a second time and I really tried. I stood on the side of the boat. Gavin jumped in and held out his arms to me. I geared up, took a deep breath, jumped in, peered down, and began freaking out. When I panic I don’t scream and carry on, my body stiffens and my face twists into one of those expressions that could easily be mistaken for erotic pleasure. Luckily, Gavin recognised the subtle differences between my trauma face and my pleasure face and got me back onto the boat, where I sobbed all the way back to the shore.
‘I explained my phobia to him and he understood. I’ve never had to worry about it, until now. I was about to tell the team that I can’t do this challenge, when you phoned. I hate letting them down. They are so excited about it and have organised it all and of course it’s to raise funds for the radio station. This isn’t something I’ll get over by having someone hold my hand, either. I’ve been hyperventilating in the car just thinking about it.’
‘I’ve an idea of how I may be able to help. Don’t tell your colleagues you can’t do the dive just yet. Do you get any time in between finishing at the café and starting your shift at the hospital?’
‘Yes, I have about three hours free. I finish at one. Why?’
‘I’ll meet you at the café at one on Wednesday. Don’t think about the dive or sharks until then. Promise me? Go home and have a relaxing bath and a glass of wine. Or, on second thoughts, take a relaxing shower and have a couple of glasses of wine!’
‘I’ll do that. I’ll think nice thoughts, practise my shimmying and wait for Wednesday. Don’t forget to bring your magic wand.’
‘I’ll bring my magic wand and an invisibility cloak so the sharks won’t be able to see you.’
Thirty-Five
Business was brisk at the café on Wednesday. Patricia had a steady flow of people visiting the craft shop; Charlie noticed several leaving with packages.
‘Things seem to be picking up, Art,’ she remarked as she waited to collect an order from him.
‘It’s Patricia. She’s discovered new inspiration. It’s down to those animal pots. They’re selling well and she seems to have attracted new customers. She worked late last night painting one batch and got up early too, to finish a new one.’
‘I’ll have to go and check out the pots before they all sell out.’
Charlie served her customers and nipped out to the craft shop. There was a large poster on the door to the room. It was a photo of her sailing down the zip wire, with a request under it for sponsors.
Patricia was wrapping a purchase for a customer, a middle-aged woman wearing a dark red cape and matching hat.
‘You must be Charlie. I heard about the latest challenge,’ said the woman. ‘My neighbour, Marjory, is in City Hospital at the moment. She’s not too well. I visited her yesterday evening. All she could talk about was you diving with sharks. Her son lives in South Africa and he did one of those cage dives off Cape Town. Scared him witless, apparently. The sharks got frantic about the food and kept bashing into the cage. There was one really large one that kept knocking into the bars. It actually bent them. Her son said he thought he was going to get eaten. Luckily they raised his cage and got him out before that happened.’
Charlie gripped the countertop and willed herself to smile. Her heart rate accelerated.
‘I bought her one of Patricia’s new range as a present,’ she continued, pointing at a display. On the table was a group of pencil pots with comical faces. They stood on their fins. Each had large open mouths revealing sharp teeth. In front of them was a sign: ‘Buy a friendly shark. All proceeds go to Challenge Charlie.’
‘That’s ten pounds, please, then Mrs Higham,’ said Patricia. The woman fished about in her handbag, extracted her purse and pulled out the correct amount.
‘Aren’t they fun? Well, good luck, dear. I hope the sharks in Chester aren’t as bad-tempered as those South African ones.’
She left the room and disappeared down the corridor. Patricia put the money into the till and recorded the sale in a notebook on a page headed ‘Charlie’.
‘We wanted to help the radio station. We know how much it means to you and everyone there,’ explained Patricia. ‘Mercedes told us about the new challenge last Sunday morning when she dropped by with Ryan. She swore us to secrecy because you hadn’t been told. I’d just sold the last of my chubby sheep pots and when she told me, I had one of those Eureka moments. I came up with the idea of these new pots.’
Charlie managed to let go of the counter and embrace her friend. Now wasn’t the time to explain her irrational fear. She fervently hoped that Susannah was going to be able to assist. Although Charlie couldn’t imagine what she could do to stop the panic that was beginning to build up.
‘You are one of the kindest people I know. Thank you for doing this. You should keep some of the money for yourselves, though.’
‘No, I wouldn’t dream of it. We’re fine. Besides, since you became a minor celebrity we’ve had loads more people coming to the café. I’ll have to get you to sign photographs and leave them here.’
The doorbell chimed and Charlie scurried off to serve. She felt awful. How could she let so many people down?
* * *
Susannah came in at exactly one o’clock.
‘Gosh, I almost didn’t recognise you,’ said Charlie. ‘You’ve changed so much. You’re slimmer, obviously, but you’ve altered in other ways. You seem so composed and happy.’
‘I’ve got my mojo back, Charlie. I feel younger than I’ve done in years and Dave, well, he can hardly keep up with me, if you know what I mean,’ she chuckled. ‘He asked if he could have a night off, last night.’ She winked. ‘Right. Are you ready?’
‘Yes, I’ll just fetch my coat and bag. Where’re we going?’
‘To someone who has the power to sort out your little problem,’ she whispered. ‘He’s helped me such a lot. I would never have come to belly dancing classes if he hadn’t given me the confidence to join. I’ve been seeing him for just over a year. He can perform miracles.’
They drove to a leafy street and parked outside a smart Victorian house.
‘Here we are. Alastair’s expecting you. You’re on your own now. He’s a lovely man. I’ll come back and get you in an hour.’
Charlie left Susannah in her car and walked up the path to the front door. As much as she wanted Alastair to help her, she couldn’t shake off the feeling of skepticism about hypnotherapy. Susannah had been effusive about his ability during the journey but Charlie remained unconvinced. She rang the doorbell and was met by an eager medium-sized black Labrador carrying a teddy bear in its mouth. It dominated the doorstep until a thin man in his fifties with a balding head and kind green eyes appeared.
‘You must be Charlie. Hi, I’m Alastair. Come in. Don’t mind Nero. He’s very friendly and doesn’t bite.’
Propelled by a thick tail, the Labrador’s broad backside swung from side to side in delight as she stepped into the entrance. It dropped the bear in front of her feet, sat down and gazed at her with large amber eyes.
‘No, Nero, she hasn’t come to play with you. Come on. Bring your fluffy with you. He’s taken to you, Charlie. He doesn’t often give up his fluffy to strangers.’
Alastair helped her off with her coat and hung it on one of the coat pegs by the door, then led the way to a large sitting room. Nero trotted behind, toy in mouth, and headed to a beanbag next to Alastair’s desk, where he flopped down and draped his head over one end to observe.
‘Welcome to my office. Susannah told me you have a phobia you need to get rid of. She didn’t fill me in completely, so if you don’t mind, could we have a quick chat about it before we begin? Take a seat.’
Charlie sunk into a winged cream chair and glanced about the room. I
t was light and uncluttered. The walls were painted in a subtle grey. A modern bookcase stood against one wall, jam-packed with books. Her chair was adjacent to a stylish fireplace that housed a cream log-burning stove standing on a black marble slab. Above the fireplace was an enormous mirror that added depth to the room and reflected a calming painting of blue skies.
Alastair lowered himself lightly into the other chair opposite her. Behind him was an expensive-looking desk, as uncluttered as the room, empty apart from a laptop that was folded up neatly next to a notepad and pens. On the wall next to the desk hung a photograph taken underwater on which were written the words: Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.
‘Er, yes. It’s silly really,’ she said. ‘I’ve been terrified of sharks for years.’ She gulped.
He looked directly at her. ‘No, it’s not silly, Charlie. Many people have fears and phobias. They grow out of all proportion and take over. You’ve made the most important step by coming here and speaking to me. Tell me, have you ever been to a hypnotherapist before?’
‘No, my uncle Ernie was hypnotised once though, on stage at a working men’s club. He kept clucking like a chicken. My Aunt Maude told everyone about it and said his chicken impression was so realistic, she thought he was going to lay an egg.’
Alastair smiled. ‘Fortunately for you, I don’t work like that. Could you imagine the scandal if I transformed patients into chickens? Mind you, I’d be okay for omelettes for a while.’
Charlie laughed, relaxing a little. Nero looked up at the sound, then snuggled down with his fluffy toy.
‘Is there any reason you want to get over this fear? Or, have you merely decided you don’t want it anymore?’
‘I need to get over it. I am supposed to be doing a dive with sharks for charity and I don’t want to back out of it. I would let down far too many people. I’m not sure I can even take the diving course that’s been arranged. I might be okay at a swimming pool but an open dive… It’s a stupid fear. It’s bizarre. If it were spiders that would make sense, but sharks? It’s not like they’re going to suddenly come swimming into the supermarket while I’m shopping, or leap out of my plughole when I’m washing up my breakfast bowl.’
‘I agree, that’s not likely. But it’s important to understand what fear is and how to control it. Fears arise in the unconscious part of our minds. You need to be able to use the conscious part of your mind to control it, that’s all. Hypnotherapy works by bypassing our conscious minds and focuses on retraining our unconscious. It won’t take many sessions to fix the problem. Then you’ll be able to swim with sharks, pat them on their heads, and tickle their tummies, or whatever you want to do. To begin, I’m going to just talk to you about fear and how to cope when you feel frightened. If you’d like to just relax in the chair, we’ll get going.’
‘What, no swinging pendulum, or a watch on the end of a chain?’
‘No, I don’t require gimmicks. I’m going to use a special technique called the Rewind Technique. Just sit back in the chair and, if it helps, close your eyes, then breathe in and out. Imagine waves of relaxation running down your body from your scalp downwards, washing out stress. Let the waves run in time with your breathing, first washing down over your head, then your neck, then your torso, then your arms, and finally your legs. Feel the muscles in your body relaxing as the waves wash over them and breathe in and out.’
The chair was extremely comfortable. Alastair’s mellifluous voice drifted over her, calming her nerves. She became aware of the sound of her own breath as she breathed rhythmically in time to his voice. The more she concentrated on his voice, the slower her heart rate became and the more she felt herself drift into a relaxed state. She closed her eyes for a moment and listened.
‘There’s a part of you which is separate from the conscious. That part knows how to produce dreams at night. It knows how to relax you deeply, and it knows how to grow your hair, digest your food and blink… all beyond your conscious awareness. It knows more than you do about many things that happen in your body and your mind. It’s that part of you I am going to talk to.’
Charlie thought Alastair’s voice sounded a little deeper and slower as she continued to listen.
‘When you go into hypnosis… you just start to feel a little dreamy… sometimes you start to focus on sensations in the body… like comfort and warmth in your hands… or you begin to notice your breathing… and the way it… slows… a… little… and often your eyelids start to feel heavier… like they’re feeling sleepy… and sometimes images flit into your mind… of pleasant scenes… like the way the sky looks so blue on a summer’s day at the beach… or the birds singing in the woods … and when you… drift into hypnosis… you pay less attention to the room around you… you just start to forget about all that… and… drift inwards…’
Alastair stopped for a moment. Charlie’s breathing was inaudible, her face was relaxed and her eyelids fluttered from time to time.
‘Charlie I want you to imagine somewhere where you feel safe and at ease. Have you got a safe place?’
Charlie smiled.
‘Now, I want you to imagine you are there. You’re feeling at ease just like you do now. There’s a TV set and a video player with a remote control in there with you. Now, you’re floating to one side of the picture, out of body. You can see yourself sitting comfortably. You’re watching yourself watching the screen, but you can’t see the picture. There’s a film playing of the first time you became frightened of sharks. The film’s going to start at that point and will play all the way through, but you are safe. The film will end when the event is over.’
Charlie’s face tensed. Her brow furrowed. But she calmed again.
‘Charlie, keep listening to me. You’re going to float back into the body that’s watching the film. You’re at the end of the film, at a safe point. Pick up the control. Use it to rewind the film quickly to the point where it began. Now, I want you to use your control and watch the same film while pressing the fast forward button. Go quickly through it with your finger on the fast forward button. The film will race past.’
Charlie’s face changed again and her head turned from side to side as she wrestled with her inner demons.
‘Well done. Remember, you are completely safe in this nice warm room. You are very relaxed. You’re feeling calm. Next, you’re going to rewind the film, only this time you’ll do it more slowly.’
Alastair repeated the exercise several times with Charlie, suggesting she changed the speed of the control until he thought she was showing less emotion at the scenes.
‘So, Charlie, when you put on the wetsuit and go diving you will feel confident. You will feel calm. When you dive with the sharks you will be positive and relaxed.’
Alastair brought Charlie back to full awareness. Nero raised his head and watched them both.
‘Oh goodness. I feel quite a bit better. That was incredible.’
‘I think you should come along for another session after you do your first dive in the swimming pool, then another before you do an open dive, and of course one follow-up appointment before the big dive. Would you like a cup of tea now?’
‘Thank you, I’d love one. You didn’t ask me to tell you what was on the television screen,’ she said.
‘I don’t need to know. You needed to discover where it all began because now you can deal with it. That’s what matters.’
There was a knock at the office door and a woman dressed in a long shirt and leggings came in. Nero’s tail thumped against the floor.
‘Hi, I’m Julia, Alastair’s wife. I brought tea and biscuits but if you’d rather have coffee?’
‘No, tea’s lovely. Thank you.’
‘Don’t let Nero convince you he’s hard done to. He gets his own special biscuit every night before bed and plenty to eat during the day, don’t you, you greedy boy? Stay. No begging. You are far too podgy to eat biscuits.’
Nero’s eyebrows knotted in disagreement but he remained on his bed, tai
l thumping.
They chatted for a while about Alastair’s interest in hypnotherapy and further techniques Charlie could use to help relax herself. It transpired that Julia was one of his first patients.
‘I think he hypnotised me to marry him,’ she laughed. ‘I’m sure I didn’t fancy him when I first met him.’
‘Of course you did. You knew you fancied me once you looked deep, deep into my eyes,’ Alastair joked.
Charlie checked her watch and excused herself. ‘Thank you very much, but I need to get going. I’ve got to get to the studio.’
Susannah was waiting for her.
‘Think it worked?’ she asked as soon as Charlie climbed in.
‘I’m not one hundred per cent sure, but I feel a lot better about going diving and taking my PADI licence. It’s amazing isn’t it, how one small incident years ago that you can’t recall can be a trigger for a phobia that can traumatise you for years after?’
‘So you discovered what caused you to be scared of sharks?’
‘Yes, and now I should be able to handle it better. Well, let’s hope so.’
Thirty-Six
Charlie’s date with Rob arrived before she knew it. Her head was too occupied with diving information, the radio show and work at the café to give much thought to anything else. However, Friday afternoon, she hadn’t a clue what to wear or how to go about preparing for a date.
She looked at her bed covered with discarded clothes, the floor which was now a carpet of footwear, and scurried to the kitchen to talk to Mercedes.
‘Mercedes, help!’ she cried. ‘I’ve no idea what to wear. I should never have agreed to meet Rob.’
‘Don’t be daft. You’re out of practice, that’s all. You’re far too used to dressing for work then slobbing about at home. Have you got sexy underwear?’
‘I’ve got a matching black set of semi-sexy underwear. You’re not going to suggest I saunter out in only my knickers and a coat?’