by KB Winters
“That is none of your goddamn business, Baz, so I’m going to ask you to leave. It’s early as fuck, and I’ve been pulling double shifts for weeks now.” She did sound tired, but I knew it had more to do with the fact that we hadn’t slept for more than an hour at a time because we couldn’t keep our hands—and other parts—to ourselves.
I stood and slipped on my jeans and nothing else. “What’s all the noise?” I heard the growl before his feet began to move and ducked the punch he threw my way. “What the fuck, Baz?”
“My sister? You’re banging my baby sister?” He lurched forward again, but he wasn’t stupid enough to throw another punch, so he just got in my face. “I fuckin’ trusted you.”
I held up my hands, but I wouldn’t back down. “Don’t act like I took advantage of her because I didn’t.”
“Oh yeah. You both just woke up one day and decided to fuck?”
Cherie squeezed between us and smacked her brother’s face. “Will you two stop this nonsense! God!” She pushed at his chest and then mine. “This is why I’m leaving! Everything with you guys is a fucking fight. Use. Your. Words.”
Baz scoffed, “You want words? This is fucked up! She’s my sister, man!” He pushed me, and I saw the hit coming and steeled myself for it. I wouldn’t hit him back because I knew I had it coming for sleeping with his sister.
“Feel better?”
“No goddammit, I don’t!”
“Too bad,” Cherie yelled. “Out! Get the hell out, Baz and don’t come back until you can act civilized!” Tears pooled in her eyes, and I knew this visit had steeled her resolve to leave Brently.
I wrapped her in my arms and dropped a kiss on her head. “I’m so damn sorry, Cherie.”
She pushed at my chest. “Don’t be,” she said, her head shaking and disbelief was written all over her face. “I can’t believe I kicked my brother out. I picked sex over him.” Watery brown eyes stared up at me, sad and disappointed. “You don’t love me, and I picked you over him.”
I didn’t know what I felt, so I couldn’t answer that accusation, but I held her face in my hands and spoke from the heart. “Sweetheart, I don’t know if this is love, but I know it ain’t just sex. I also know that it’s not fair for Baz to make you choose. Plenty of other women your age have sex without choosing, why should you?”
“I…need to be alone.” She turned away and quietly walked down the hall to her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
I would give her the space she wanted, but not like this. I followed her and dressed quickly before curling behind her on the bed and pulling her close, inhaling her sweet scent of vanilla and sex. “You mean something to me, Cherie. Something big but I won’t tell you anything else until I know how this shit will turn out. It wouldn’t be fair. But don’t think we’re done, darlin’.” I turned her head and kissed her, pouring all the words I couldn’t say into that kiss before pulling away and leaving, feeling torn as hell.
And pissed off about it.
Chapter Seven
Cherie
The past week had been complete and total hell. Baz’s appearance hung a dark cloud over whatever was happening between me and Roddick. We didn’t stop seeing each other because Roddick was right, it wasn’t fair for Baz to expect me to choose. But it also highlighted the fact that this wasn’t a forever relationship. I might have wanted it to be, but I’m not a masochist. I had to leave Brently if I ever wanted a shot at a real life away from CAOS.
But I planned to enjoy this thing with Roddick for as long as it lasted. I loved him, of that I was certain, but in the immortal words of Patty Smyth, sometimes love just ain’t enough. It would hurt like hell to leave, but it was always gonna hurt. At least now I knew what it felt like to be with Roddick. To lie with a man who cared about me, because though he didnt love me, I knew he cared about me. A lot.
My shift was nearly over, so I made a quick stop to Bonnie’s room. The woman had just recovered from an infection and would be discharged in the next few days. The problem was she had nowhere to go. Yet. “You’re healing, Bonnie. That’s very good.” She cast me a half-hearted smile and squeezed my hand.
“Gracias, Cherie. You are very kind.”
“Don’t let the others hear you say that,” I joked. “They’ll expect me to be nice to everyone. Is there someone you’d like to call, Bonnie, you can use my phone?”
“I cannot go back to my husband and children after what they have done to me. No thank you, Señorita.”
I squeezed her hand and gave her a quick smile before leaving her room. Ten minutes later I strode through the front doors and into the thick night air. I hardly remembered what sunlight felt like since I’d been working second and third shifts for so long. I groaned when I spotted a familiar figure leaning against my car wearing a shit eating grin. “What do you want, Baz?”
His smile vanished. “I came to apologize.”
“Then let’s hear it.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, but dammit, Cher…Roddick, really?”
“I don’t need to justify my actions to you, Baz, the same way you don’t have to justify all the women you sleep with.”
“But Roddick?”
I nodded and shoved him aside so I could put my bag down. “Who else? Would it be better if it were one of the prospects?” The dark look that crossed his face told me he didn’t think it would. “I’ve been in love with Roddick since I was a kid, but you wouldn’t know that because you weren’t here.” I held up a hand to stop his attempts to justify his actions. It wasn’t necessary. “I’m in love with him, but he doesn’t know because he doesn’t need to, Baz. I meant it when I said I’m leaving Brently, and since he will never leave, it’s a moot point.”
“Where will you go?”
“Wherever I want. That’s the point.”
“He’s using you,” he bit out.
Those words hurt, and I really wished I could hurt him the same way. “Glad you think so highly of me, Baz. Guess I should’ve let the boys of CAOS run a train on me a long time ago, huh?”
“Dammit, Cherie!”
“No, Baz, you don’t have the right! You and your fuckin’ goons cost me every damn date I was ever asked on my whole life! And now that I’ve chosen a man, even a temporary one, that’s not good enough either. Well, that’s too damn bad!” I yanked the car door open and growled when he tried to stop me.
“Cherie, please.”
“Back off, Baz.” I turned the key in the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot without looking back. I loved my brother, I really did, but right now all I wanted was to be somewhere far away from him and everyone else I knew. Since that wasn’t an option, I decided to close myself up in my house and indulge in the booze on top of my fridge.
After one Jack and cola, I got an idea and signed up for several nationwide nursing agencies. I might not know where I was going, but maybe I needed an adventure for a year or so until I decided. Yeah, that sounded like a good way to choose my next home.
After that, I spent the night knocking back drinks and preparing myself to say goodbye to the town I’d been born in, raised in, and abandoned in so many years ago. Now, I could also remember it as the place where I fell in love.
***
Roddick
Everything had been set up for my Sunday morning meeting with Lazarus, but still, I had a bad feeling about it. He’d sent a late night text message changing the location, and I let Brockton and Mick know before turning back to Cherie and falling into a dreamless sleep. Now though, waiting by the back door of a Mexican supermarket that had long since gone out of business, I had a feeling nothing was right about any of this. I was just glad Mick and a few guys were nearby. Listening.
When Lazarus showed up with—holy fuck—Salvador Maldonado, Governor of the state of Chihuahua, I knew my instincts were right. The real fucking el jefe walked and looked every inch the slick politician he was in a black suit, cowboy boots and a fucking bolero tie. “Gl
ad to finally meet you,” he said, wearing that slick Vaseline smile as he shook my hand.
“I wish I could say the same, but I didn’t even know you existed,” I told him and shook his hand.
Maldonado laughed and shook his head. “Lazarus is the perfect cartel leader, no? He has that crazy eyed thing perfected to scare the boys and keep them in line.” He tapped his head. “You know they fear him even though he is a homo, that’s a special kind of crazy.”
I stared at this crazy motherfucker, talking to me about Lazarus like he wasn’t even standing there. Meanwhile, my fucking head was spinning. I expected a Sheriff or maybe a mayor, not the goddamn governor. Lazarus was a puppet. An effective, maniacal puppet, but a puppet just the same. “Well, the man is good at his job.”
“And he’s soft on you. I’m here to make sure he’s not too soft,” he said pointedly.
I ignored him. “So are we doing this or will brunch be delivered soon?”
Maldonado laughed and handed me the drugs, leaving Lazarus to take the money as though him not touching it somehow exempted him from the transaction. Asshole. “You are a straight shooter, Roddick. Let’s keep it that way, and we will have no problems.”
“The same, Maldonado.” Surprise flashed in his eyes, but instead of commenting, he turned and left us with nothing more than the sound of his boots on the cracked pavement. Moments later I turned the other way and left, jumping on my bike and headed for Brently with Mick and Torch flanking me after one block. Baz and Cash stayed behind in a truck to see what they had on the tech side of things. We hauled ass over the border, not stopping until we rolled inside the clubhouse storage building on our bikes.
Twenty minutes later, Cash and Baz showed up, and from the look in his eyes, I knew Baz was fired up. “What the fuck is going on? That was the shadiest shit I’ve ever seen, so start talking. Now!”
He was in my face, but I didn’t let my irritation show. “Everything will become clear soon, Baz. You don’t know about it because you weren’t here,” I reminded him with a pointed expression. “Ask Mick. He won’t give you details, but he’ll tell you it’s all legit since your president’s word isn’t enough.”
Baz pushed me again, spitting fire. “If Cherie wasn’t in love with you, I would bash your fucking face in right now!” I stood my ground, shoulders squared, and straightened to my full height.
“Same goes,” I said quietly, lethally serious.
Torch stepped in between us wearing a creepy ass smile and rubbing his bald head. “You want to scrap Baz, I’m in!”
Baz stared and a moment later the tension fled the room thanks to Torch. “You crazy motherfucker,” he laughed, “I may be crazy, but not that damn crazy.” Torch let out a howl and wrapped an arm around Baz’s shoulders, and just like that, things were cool again. Mostly.
“Now, do you want to show us what you and Cash found or keep shooting daggers my way?”
Cash grinned and opened a heavy duty looking laptop. “Hell yeah, we got the suit and the whack job shaking hands, hugging and laughing. But the best part of all you have to see for yourself.”
We crowded around Baz and Cash, eyes glued to the computer screen as Lazarus and Maldonado shook hands. They spoke in rapid fire Spanish and then Lazarus handed him three stacks of the cash I’d placed in Lazarus’ hand. “Holy shit!” Mick was the first to break the deafening silence.
“Who’s that?” Torch asked.
“That is our cash in the bank,” I told him and asked for a copy of the footage. “Store this someplace safe and keep several copies.”
“You got it,” Cash said, fingers flying over the keyboard while Baz said something about cloud storage, whatever the hell that was.
A few hours later we all dispersed, heading home or into the clubhouse for a few hours with the pass-arounds. I made my way home where Cherie was hopefully waiting, and called Brockton on my way. “Stop by as soon as you can.”
Chapter Eight
Cherie
It was official. I just got word from Darla that my debt to the hospital had been officially paid off. It took just half the time it was expected to, she pointed out, and reminded me just how valuable I was to the team. I knew she appreciated my hard work and willingness to work extra shifts, but I also knew they’d replace me within two weeks once I was gone.
And now I was free to leave Brently whenever I wanted. Free to leave Roddick too, which was the only thing that gave me pause. Not that I would change my plans and stay in town for him, but now that things were official, a dull ache began almost immediately in my chest. The man was imprinted all over my heart, my mind and my body. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, couldn’t stop myself from wanting him. Worst of all, I couldn’t stop imagining a future with him away from Brently.
It was wishful thinking at its best, and I felt utterly disgusted with myself. Still feeling that way when I got home, I hoped a shower would at least wash some of it away, or maybe rinse away the hope swelling in my heart. But it didn’t. The one thing that did help was a letter from a hospital in Saskatchewan. They were in need of a well-rounded nurse and apparently that was me, thanks to the headhunting service I signed up with a while back. One month. They wanted me there in one month.
I smiled and wiped away the sad tears that had overcome me. It was official. I was leaving Brently. Of course, I needed to see the man who held my heart, maybe to share the good news and maybe to see if I could let him go once and for all.
Can I see you tonight? I texted him wearing a big, goofy grin. He called, and I picked up with an even bigger grin. “Hey.”
“I’m on my way home now. Meet me there.”
“Okay.” I disconnected the call and quickly dressed, taking time to fix my hair and makeup since I’d probably be spending the night. At that thought, I packed up a few essentials in a bag and then I was ready to go. I started my car and sat there wondering what would happen if I told Roddick I loved him. I wanted him to know I felt that deeply for him, but would it be fair to burden him with my feelings and then up and leave? Would he feel compelled to say it back or make me stay? No answers came so I put the car in gear and made my way to Roddick’s bungalow, smiling as I parked on the street.
I’d miss seeing this house regularly. There was something about it, about the neighborhood that always brought a smile to my face. These kids would have a childhood I never had. They could play on the street without worrying about gunshots or rival gangs. They would grow up and date without anything but the usual hardships of dating. I envied them, but I also felt happy for them. “What in the world?” I picked up the phone and dialed Roddick again.
“Can’t wait to see me, huh?”
I smiled but my attention was riveted on the overgrown shrubs shielding most of the back yard. “Do you have a redheaded girlfriend, wife, or sister I need to know about? Because she’s creeping around your house like a stalker. Or a burglar.”
The line was silent for so long I thought maybe he hung up on me. “Stay in the car, Cherie, I’ll be there as fast as I can.” The line went dead, and I stared at my phone for a long time.
I knew something was going on because something was always going on with CAOS, but now, worry settled in a ball deep in my gut. The woman clearly didn’t know Roddick well if she thought there would be an easy way inside his home. I stayed in the driver’s seat wondering what the hell was going on when I lost sight of the redhead.
A knock sounded on the window, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. But then I saw the woman tapped on my window with a black gun, a nine millimeter. “Come on out.”
“No thanks,” I told her, sliding my phone in the pocket of my dress and dialed Roddick again. “I’m good here.”
She grinned but it was more of a snarl. “It wasn’t a question, sweetheart. Get the fuck out of the car.”
“If you insist,” I told her and pushed out of the car. “What do you want, Ms.?”
“My name isn’t important and neither is yours. Just open the
front door, and we won’t have any problems.” Wide green eyes darted back and forth, but despite the crazed look in her eyes, she held herself like a cop.
Just what I needed, a fucking psycho with a gun. “I can’t open the fucking door, lady, why the hell do you think I was waiting in my car?”
She groaned and pushed me up the steps, tapping her foot impatiently in front of the door. “You’re way prettier than I thought a biker’s old lady would be.”
“Thanks,” I said with a bitter laugh, “but I’m not his old lady. Just a piece of ass. Thanks for ruining my last night with him, by the way. I really appreciate that.” This woman was off her rocker, but I’d dealt with worse in the ER.
“Nope, try again, blondie. I know you’ve been seeing each other, staying the night and all. Now be cool and let me in and you won’t get hurt.” She pushed me until the doorknob pressed into my stomach. “I need you to make sure your boyfriend doesn’t do anything stupid.”
I laughed at that and she stepped back, gun still pointed at the ground. “If you think I have any sway over him, you’re dead ass wrong and you might as well give up now.”
“In that case, your night is about to get really bad.”
***
Roddick
“I’m going to kill that fucking bitch!” My heart pounded in my throat as I listened to Agent Molly fucking Johnson hold a gun on Cherie. I was happy I left my bike at the clubhouse because there was something satisfying as fuck about pressing the pedal to the metal.
“Slow down,” Brockton urged from the passenger seat. “You won’t be much good to your girl if you’re dead.” The man had stopped by Mick’s service station to pass me a message. Lazarus had been found dead two hours ago, half of his body on the American side and half on the Mexican side. Brockton thought the task force had a mole or I did.
“I guess now we have our answer.” I cut a quick glance at Brockton who looked angry and worried, his gaze focused on the road ahead.
The streets of Brently were quiet, and after a few hairpin turns on quiet residential streets, I brought the car to a screeching halt at the corner. “I’ll go through the front since she’s expecting me. There’s a key buried at the bottom of the bird feeder back there.”