by KB Winters
“Kyla, please. I’ve already been discharged, and I wanted to wait with you.”
“I’ll be a while, so you can go. Thank you, Torch, for keeping me safe. I’ll never be able to repay what you’ve done for me, but if you ever need something, I’ll try my best.” With his big body no longer occupying most of my bed, I curled up on my right side and let the tears silently fall.
The door clicked shut behind him, and I knew the time had come to stop messing around and get to work on my future. Which now included a baby.
Heartbreak could wait.
Chapter Eleven
Torch
I knew if I gave Kyla some time to cool off, we could talk reasonably about…hell—everything. She loved me. At least she said she did, but how could she? We were complete opposites. She was light and happiness and goodness, and I was darkness. I operated in the murky world between legal and illegal, and that often meant people around me got hurt. How could a college girl willingly give herself over to a life like that?
I didn’t know why I couldn’t believe she loved me. It wasn’t like I was some insecure asshole who thought I was unworthy of love or any shit like that. But how could she? More importantly, would she feel the same way six months from now? Six years from now? I played the field, I admitted it. I loved beautiful women and loved to fuck, but if I committed myself to a woman it’d be forever.
But she deserved more than frozen shock. Fear. I didn’t know what I’d say to her, but an hour had gone by and I hoped she felt calm enough to listen to me now. I tapped on the door and went inside. Empty. Her things were gone and nothing but an empty bed remained.
“Excuse me, sir?”
I turned around to find a middle-aged nurse frowning at me. “Where did she go?”
“Checked out against medical advice, silly child,” she chided with a motherly tsk and left me alone again.
She’d checked out early. To avoid me? Probably. “Fuck!”
“I didn’t forget you, little lady. I have your prenatal…you’re not…my patient.”
The embroidered lab coat read Dr. White, and I crossed my arms. “Who did you think I was?”
“You know I can’t tell you that. It’s against the law.”
I didn’t need him to tell me, and we both knew it. “Well, the nurse said she checked out against medical advice.” And now I knew why. Pregnant. I was going to be a father, and I’d just screwed up.
Big time.
I caught a ride back to my place with Mick who had a million questions, and I didn’t have any answered. Not yet. “So what happened with Kyla?”
I groaned and stomped into the kitchen, reaching into the pantry for the Jack that would dull the edges of my anger. Blur my mind until I could forget the look on Kyla’s face after she said she loved me. “She’s gone,” I bit out after taking a shot. “Back to Daddy.”
Mick whistled and shook his head. “That’s tough. I thought things were going well.”
Me too. “She said she loves me.” The more I said it, the more I thought about what it meant to have a woman like Kyla loving me and the more I realize how much I fucked up.
“You don’t believe her,” he asked and pulled the bottle from my grip.
“I think she believes it, but I just don’t see how it would work.” And now she’s pregnant. I know I have to find a way to make it work.
“You make it work, dammit. You think I didn’t think the same thing about Talon? She’s a good, strong woman, but for some damn reason she chose me to love. That makes me the luckiest son of a bitch alive so maybe,” he said, pouring two large shots and shoving one my way. “Maybe you shouldn’t be talking a woman out of loving you.”
“She just finished college, Mick. She lost her job and apartment in LA because of this shit with Stash.” And I knew once shit settled down again she’d start looking for work and maybe end up in New York or Chicago or some place far away.
“Or maybe she’ll stay closer to Brently if she has a reason. I’m guessing her quick departure means you didn’t say it back?” I nodded and poured another shot. What the fuck could I say? “I told her she didn’t have to say it and then I said fuck all. Fuck all, Mick.”
“So what the fuck are you gonna do about it?”
“I don’t fucking know, Mick. I went back to apologize, to explain and she was gone. She just left.”
“Does this mean you love her too?”
“I don’t know. I care about her, I want her around all the fucking time. But what I feel for her is about a thousand times more intense than what I felt for Octavia.” I poured two more shots, took them both, and poured two more. “Plus, I found out something by accident when her doctor came in, expecting to see her.”
Mick blinked. He waited for me to speak with the patience of a goddamn monk. “Don’t keep me in fucking suspense here, man.”
“She’s pregnant. I don’t know how far along or anything because she was gone. Hell, I didn’t even hear it from her.”
“Well you didn’t really give her a chance, did you?”
“Hell no, I didn’t.” But I knew why she’d started with I love you. Kyla wasn’t sure of my emotions, and she needed to know how I felt about her before tying such a big string to our relationship. I got it now, and I just hoped it wasn’t too late.
***
“Ethan. What can I do for you, Sheriff?” It had been a few days since the shit went down on the ramp, and I knew Ethan would stop by eventually. That day had finally come.
“Mind if I come in?” He didn’t wait for an answer, just brushed past me and took a seat in the living room. On the same sofa I’d fucked Kyla a hundred times. Had her pretty mouth wrapped around my cock. Fucking cuddled with her. “How you holdin’ up?”
“I’ve been better, Ethan, much fucking better than this.”
He laughed. “Good.”
Ah, now it all became clear. “So you’re here to bust my balls?”
“Some.” He shook his head, mouth kicked up in a lopsided grin. “I also came to tell you the good news. Stash was transported this morning to San Francisco County Jail to be arraigned for the murder of Chase Westphal plus about a dozen other charges related to the hit on Kyla.”
Fuck, my whole body exhaled with relief. “Damn. I didn’t realize just how fucking tense I’d been.” A nervous laugh escaped, and I ran my fingers down my beard still wet from my shower.
“That’s what happens when someone you love is in danger. Their worry becomes your worry. Their victory becomes yours as well.”
Love. There it was again, that word. Like a fucking sign from the heavens above. “Is that what it is? Because it feels like indigestion.” I waited, prepared for the jab to the nose I deserved, but it didn’t come.
Instead, Ethan fucking laughed. Shoulders shaking and face turning red with his amusement. “That’s exactly what it feels like. I swear when I met Kyla’s mother I thought I was dying. Wasn’t until she told me it was love that I felt better.”
“She told you?”
“Hell yes. One night we were lying in bed and my mind was racing like crazy, wondering how to keep the beautiful woman in my arms forever. Then my damn heart started going crazy, so I woke her up and told her to take me to the hospital.”
I couldn’t stop laughing. My eyes watered and my fucking shoulder hurt from shaking. “What did she say?”
“Stop being an idiot. You’re not dying, you just realized you’re in love with me. I was so damned shocked I stared at her in disbelief. Then she said, ‘it’s a good thing I love you too because you’re a big dummy’.”
“She didn’t.”
“She did, and I was glad for it. Women are better at this shit than we are, son. We’re better off just letting them guide us in matters of love because if left to us, we’d fuck it all up.”
I heard him loud and clear. “What do you know?”
“Not a damn thing other than you and Kyla were getting close and now she’s sad all the time, trying to cry so quiet
ly so I don’t hear her. But I do. And judging by the looks of this place, you ain’t doin’ much better.”
“I miss her, Ethan.”
“Then get up off your ass and go get her. The threat is gone, and you have no more excuses. If you’re going after her, do it soon.”
“You’re not upset.” It wasn’t a question because clearly he expected me to go after her. Claim her or some shit, and then what, I had no fucking idea.
“She’s in love with you and if you love her back—which I suspect you do—I can’t ask for more, can I?” He stood, hands on his hips and looked at me like he was my father. “You kept her safe, Colt. She killed a man to save you. As long as you don’t hold her back, I have no problem with her choosing you.”
“I wouldn’t do that to, Ky. Not ever.”
Ethan smiled. “I know. See you soon, Colt.”
Sitting there inside my big empty house, I knew what I had to do. To make it all happen, I needed to put down the Jack Daniels and get my ass in gear.
Chapter Twelve
Kyla
Nothing said misery like grocery shopping with a broken heart. I filled the cart with spicy Cheetos, more candy bars than any one woman needed, and all manner of junk food that I hoped would fill the void in my heart. My soul. As I made my way to the cash register, I grabbed a couple bags of salad just to make myself feel better. Yeah, I was a goddamn champ.
The past week had been filled with tears, bargaining, and just trying to figure my shit out. After about two days it became clear Torch was happy to see the back of me, so I brushed away my tears and started looking for a job and an apartment. My options were limited in Brently, but between the surrounding towns and online work I’d be able to support myself and my baby. Hopefully. Because I had to leave Daddy’s house. Not that he’d ever kick me out, but living at home with a baby on the way? Totally tacky. Besides, I knew if I stayed I might never leave.
So the first thing I did when the insurance check arrived was buy a new car. A four door Subaru because I needed to make sure me and my baby were safe. With Stash in prison, all I had to worry about now was distracted drivers. The Forrester might not be a good looking car, but it was mine and completely paid for which meant one less bill to pay each month.
At least when I woke up this morning, I felt less disappointed. Less rejected and aimless. All that despite the alarming amount of junk food packed in the back of my car. And as soon as I got home, I’d fix a salad before settling in for a day of job hunting and emotional eating.
Apparently, the universe hated me because I pulled into Daddy’s driveway and groaned at the familiar motorcycle parked in my spot. He must have been talking with Daddy, and that was just fine with me since I didn’t really have anything to say to him. Well, other than telling him about the baby. Dammit. This being an adult thing sucked. Hard.
“What are you doing here?” I glared at him sitting there having a beer with my father, feet kicked up in the recliner like he didn’t have a care in the world. Looking too damn handsome for my peace of mind.
“I came to see you, sugar.” He stood and made his way across the room.
“I’m not your sugar, and I don’t want to see you.” Eventually I would have to whether I wanted to or not, but that would be any other day but today.
Instead of responding, he took the bags from my arms and herded me into the kitchen. “We need to talk, and I want to show you something.”
I closed my eyes against his proximity. His scent, leather, and bergamot teased my senses and made me remember things best left in the deep dark recesses of my mind. “Not interested.” I didn’t know how I was able to grit those words out, but thank heavens for small fucking favors.
“Liar...” He grinned as he began to unpack the bags, dimples popping out gloriously to remind me of what I’d been missing. “Having a party?” he asked, eyes on the junk food spread across the counter top.
“No.” His lips twitched, but I couldn’t give in, no matter how much I wanted to leap over the counter and crawl into his arms, climb the length of his body and kiss him silly. “What do you want to show me?”
Shaking his head, his icy blue gaze settled on mine. “You have to see it, Ky. One hour and I promise to bring you back here.”
It sounded reasonable. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel all that reasonable. “No, I’ll drive so I can leave when I want, and you can have one of your prospects pick up your bike.”
He grinned like he was proud instead of being upset. “Deal, let’s go.” Torch grabbed my hand and locked our fingers together so we were palm to palm. The weak part of me couldn’t pull my hand away because I craved his touch. His warmth. It felt too good and as exhausted as I felt, I knew I didn’t have the strength to fight what I felt for him. He whistled. “Nice car.”
“I bought it with my insurance check.”
He nodded, giving it careful examination as he circled the car. “Nice. Far cry from the little convertible you drove at the start of summer.”
Shit. “Yeah. I just felt like it was time for something more grown up.” Before he could ask any more probing questions, I hopped in the driver’s seat and started the engine. “Where are we going?”
He smiled and reached across me, pulling the seat belt across my chest, and locking it in place. So gentle and careful like he knew my secret. “Home.”
One simple word. It meant so much to me because his place had felt like home. Instantly. As though I were meant to be there. Until I wasn’t. The drive over should have been quiet and awkward, but Torch wouldn’t allow it. Not with constant questions.
“Have you missed me, Kyla? I’ve missed you.”
“I doubt that since I haven’t heard from you.” At all.
“I needed to sort some shit out. What have you been up to?” His hand rested on my thigh, not moving and not sexual. Just there. Reassuring.
“Just trying to figure out what I’ll do next. Where I’ll go.” I knew I needed to tell him about the baby. It wouldn’t be fair to move away without letting him decide what he wanted to do. “I need to tell you something,” I told him as we pulled up to his gate and drove up to the door.
“After I show you everything we’ll talk.” He hopped out and opened my door for me, helping me out and holding my hand as we walked inside.
I froze in the foyer as my eyes struggled to take in all the changes since I left. A week ago. “This looks like…a home.” It really did. An oil painting of a Viking hung in the foyer, big and strong with long blond hair and piercing blue eyes. “He could be your twin, if your head wasn’t slick.”
“Come on.” He grabbed my hand again, and we were on the move. More art hung on the walls, some of it nature and some of it badass disturbing biker art, but it all worked together. He’d filled out the living room, adding two recliners to the sofa plus dark cherry end tables and a painting of a sexy Grim Reaper whose hood only came to her collarbone leaving her in nothing more than black lingerie holding her scythe.
“Weird choice of art but it fits.” A black and gray throw was folded on the back of the sofa. The walls had gothic style lighting fixtures that went with the theme of the décor, and he’d even had skids added to the staircase. “What prompted all this?”
“This place felt empty without you, and I figured if I made it more homey you might want to come back.” I stopped at the bottom of the stairs at his words, but his hand on my lower back urged me up. “I fucking missed you, Ky.”
“I missed you too, Torch. But you know I didn’t leave because of your lack of décor and furnishings.”
He nodded. “You left because you think I don’t love you.”
I nodded because I couldn’t say anything around the lump in my throat. He didn’t love me and it hurt like hell, but I’d get over it. “What else?”
“This.” He stopped outside one of the guest rooms that we’d never used. Last time I checked, the room had no furniture, no art. Nothing at all other than really great lighting. “Open it.”<
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I pushed the door open and gasped. “You know. But how…?” I looked up into smiling blue eyes, filled with pride and maybe love. But maybe that was just wishful thinking. So instead of addressing it like the adult woman I aspired to be, I stepped inside the room, now painted a soothing blue-green color with a balloon border. The theme was bikes, of course. Bicycles, tricycles, unicycles and even pint-sized motorcycles. “It’s amazing. But how did you know?”
He walked over to where I stood between the crib and the changing table and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I came back to talk to you. To explain, but you were gone. The doctor came in with your prenatal prescription and didn’t stop his words in time.”
Dumb fucking luck. I shook my head. “He said six weeks when he confirmed it, but I have an appointment next week with the OB/GYN.” Making that call had made it all real for me, and it solidified my decision to have this baby.
“Kyla, I got scared when you said you loved me, but you have to know it wasn’t because I don’t love you back. I can’t ask you to give up your life, your bright future for me.”
“Who asked you to?”
He blinked. “Honey, you just got your degree and if not for the crazy turn this summer took you’d already be working on your future.”
“That’s true. But that was before I fell in love. I’m having a baby, Torch, so I’m staying close to my family.”
“I’m your family, Kyla. At least I really want to be. If you’ll have me.”
He caressed my face and like the weakling I am, I leaned into his hand, soaking up his warmth. His big strong hand. “What’s changed?”
He barked out a laugh. “Darlin’, only every fucking thing. You. Me. Together we changed everything. I knew I’d never fall in love because the type of women who hang around the club aren’t the forever kind, and women like you, hell you don’t stick around this life very long.”