by Nikki Ash
And then…Tristan’s mouth is off my body and my legs are hitting the bed. Is that it? Should I have screamed? Damn it! I knew I should’ve faked it. But before I can decide how to handle this situation, I glance up and see Tristan is kneeling in front of me, his piercing blue eyes locked with mine. His arm comes up behind him as he pulls his shirt up over his head and shucks it to the side. He backs up and gets off the bed, his eyes never leaving mine, as he unbuckles his belt, undoes the button and unzips his pants, then pushes his jeans down so he’s in only a white pair of briefs.
And holy mother of God! The man is ripped. His chest is rock solid, his abs…there has got to be eight of them! I don’t think there’s a single ounce of fat on him. On one of his biceps has a simple barbwire tattoo and down his side is the name Alexandria with a date. It must be Lexi’s full name and her birthday.
He climbs back onto the bed, his lips trailing kisses up the inside of my thighs as he goes. The stubble from his face tickles my skin, causing me to giggle. I throw my hand over my mouth not wanting him to think I’m laughing at him, but instead of him getting mad, he looks up and smirks, laughter evident in his eyes.
“You like the feel of my scruff between your legs?” I nod and he softly laughs before dipping back down and dragging his face up my leg until he gets back to where he was a few minutes ago. He pushes my legs back up and his tongue swipes back up my seam. Only this time, he doesn’t stop. He strokes his tongue savagely along my slit as my body begins to buck, my sex grinding against his face.
“That’s it, baby,” Tristan groans. “Come for me.” I’m afraid it won’t happen. I’m afraid he will find me to be defective but I push the thought away as I get lost in the pleasure of his tongue, my hands going back to my breasts—pinching and pulling. My body is wound so tightly, it’s begging to let go. I feel like I’m so close, and then his tongue pushes down. My head goes back, my eyes closing as my body comes completely unhinged. I can feel myself coming all over his tongue. My entire body shakes and I’m pretty sure I feel liquid gushing out of me. While I should be praying I’m not soaking his sheets, it all feels too good to really give a damn.
“Fuck yes,” Tristan murmurs as I start to come down from my sexual bliss. Just as I start to peel my eyes open, I feel Tristan’s large hands push the back of my thighs up against my belly and then he’s thrusting into me. I gasp loudly as he stretches me. Holy shit! He’s so deep. I look up and his face is only inches from mine. He leans down and kisses me passionately, his thrusts never stopping.
His mouth moves downward as he rains kisses all over my breasts, stopping briefly to suck on my nipples. My hands go to his hair, needing to touch him. My fingers running up and down the back of his head.
There’s something happening…something different…deep inside of me. “Tristan,” I whisper, and he looks down at me with his lust filled eyes, silently telling me he completely understands. Whatever is happening isn’t just sexual. It’s so much more. The connection, the closeness. I’ve never felt like this. Sex has never felt like this.
“I know, baby. Just feel it,” he murmurs as if he can read my mind. He’s so in tuned to my body, my mind, my needs. His hands are flat on the bed on either side of me, his arms hooked under my knees. His face finds the crook of my neck as he fucks me deep—so, so deep. My vaginal walls begin to tighten and then I’m coming again. My sex is pulsating, my legs are shaking as a massive orgasm overtakes me. I let out an uncontrollable moan and then Tristan’s mouth is on mine, silencing my cries. His thrusts turn frantic almost punishing as he hits a spot deep inside me, and my orgasm rolls from one into another, my body going limp beneath this man.
Tristan’s thrusts slow down and I can feel his cock throbbing inside of me as he stills. He lifts his face up and kisses me one last time before he pulls out, his arms letting go of my legs. I have never in my life felt this satisfied and relaxed after sex. And simply calling it sex doesn’t feel like I’m giving what we just did justice. It was so much more. It was….everything.
Unsure of how Tristan will react, I lay quietly waiting to see what he does. After Justin would get off, he would roll off me, take a shower, and then spend the rest of the night in his office—that was if he stayed home afterward.
“Stay right here, I need to throw the condom out,” Tristan murmurs into my ear before kissing my temple. Condom? How did I not see him put one on? And why didn’t I even think to make sure he was using one? Oh, that’s right! Because I was high from the amazing orgasms he was giving me.
He lifts off me, and it’s then I notice his condom covered dick, and even now only semi-hard, it’s impressive. He follows my gaze and shoots me a knowing grin before getting off the bed and sauntering to the bathroom, his tight, muscular ass on display. Feeling exposed, I pull one of his sheets over to cover me while I wait for him to return.
A couple minutes later he comes out of the bathroom. Pulling the sheet back off me, he separates my thighs, and using a warm washcloth, he wipes between my legs before throwing it into his hamper. He drops onto his side and pulls me into him, so our fronts are touching. I’m so shocked by his display of affection, I don’t even know what to say.
“Two or three?” he asks as his hands run down my side, landing on the swell of my butt.
“What?” I’m confused and it’s hard to focus with his hands on my body.
“I know for sure you had two orgasms. One by my tongue and another during sex, but that one felt like it might have turned into two.”
My cheeks burn with embarrassment as I try to push his chest away so I can get up or hide under a blanket, but Tristan isn’t having it. “Don’t be embarrassed, baby.” He leans down and gives me a soft kiss on my forehead. It’s such a small show of affection but it means so much. It’s the first time I’ve ever cuddled in bed with a man after sex.
Laying my head against the curve of his bicep, I snuggle closer to Tristan. His thighs part, and one of mine fits perfectly between his legs before he closes them. With his one usable arm, he runs his fingertips up and down my back. I should probably go. Lexi will be up in a few hours and I don’t want to overstay my welcome, but the comfort of Tristan’s fingers lulls me to sleep.
Just a few minutes I tell myself, and before my eyes completely close I whisper, “Three.” I think I hear him laugh but I’m too far gone to know for sure.
I wake up with the urge to go pee. Sitting up, I reach toward my nightstand to grab my phone to see what time it is but all I get is bed. What the heck? I pry my eyes open and look around. This isn’t my bed and this isn’t my room. Then I remember I’m at Tristan’s place.
Reaching across the bed, I snag my phone and see it’s only eight in the morning. Did Tristan leave me here? It’s then I hear a little girl’s voice asking if breakfast is almost ready. Oh geez! I fell asleep and ended up spending the night, and Tristan’s five-year-old very impressionable daughter is right outside making breakfast with her father. I wonder if I can sneak out the bedroom window. We’re on the first floor.
Getting up quietly, I grab my clothes, which are scattered across the room. I go to the bathroom and go pee, and after washing my hands, I attempt to run my fingers through my hair, then use my finger to brush my teeth—I’m not sure one night of the most amazing sex of my life means I’m permitted to use Tristan’s toothbrush. After I’m dressed, I push my phone into my back pocket, go to the bedroom window, and after unlocking it, push it open. I look down and realize my shoes are still by the front door. Shit! Oh well…I push the screen out and set it on the ground then climb out, close the window, and place the screen back on.
Looking around, I see the front of the building is just around the corner, so I head in that direction. Tristan doesn’t live far from me, so instead of calling for a car, I make the decision to walk home. It’s a cloudy day and looks like it will rain soon, but I think I can make it back before it does. As I walk down the sidewalk, I think about how much my life has changed. I would give anything for Ge
orgia to be alive and with me. I would trade every ounce of happiness I feel right now to have her back in my arms, but I know no amount of wishing or begging will bring her back. I wonder, had she still been alive and we would’ve run like I planned, if we would’ve ended up here. Would we have met Tristan and Lexi in the coffee shop? Would Lexi have still approached me? Us?
I would like to think so. I would like to think had Georgia still been alive, we would’ve still met Tristan and his little girl, and they would’ve become friends. I would also like to think my daughter is looking down on me and forgives me for not saving her, forgives me for whatever happened on that foggy day. That she knows I love her with all my heart and I live every day wishing she was still alive. I get choked up as I pray she’s looking down on me and in her own, now four-year-old way approves of me finally moving forward and finding a tiny piece of happiness. I hope she knows this isn’t me forgetting her. I could never do that. She will forever be in every thought and memory. This is me finally admitting what happened to my precious baby girl was a horrible, tragic accident, and living my life alone won’t bring her back. I let the tears fall, but instead of feeling like I’m broken, the tears feel almost therapeutic like I’m finally being put back together again.
I look up and the sky above me opens, rain falling in buckets, drops pelting my face. My tears mix with the raindrops as I stand frozen in place on the sidewalk feeling like every raindrop is cleansing me of my past.
“Charlie!” I look through the pouring rain at the huge dark blue truck stopped in the road, the window rolled down.
“Tristan?”
“Charlie! Get your butt in this truck now!” he shouts over the rain, which is coming down harder now. It takes me a second but I shake myself out of my thoughts and run toward his truck. I’m about to jump in when I realize I’m soaking wet. I look down at my clothes then up at him.
“Just get in!” he yells again, so I do, closing the door behind me. Once I’m situated, I notice Lexi is in the backseat looking at me confused.
“Charlie! It’s raining so bad. Why were you in the rain, silly?” I glance from her to Tristan and back to her again.
“It wasn’t raining when I started walking,” I say to Lexi but also to Tristan who is side eyeing me as he drives.
“Then you should have run so fast!” Lexi points out, and I have to stifle a laugh because she’s being serious. “Daddy and I were making special pancakes for us.” I turn to Tristan silently asking if Lexi knows I spent the night but he doesn’t give anything away one way or another.
We pull up to his condo and Lexi jumps out of the truck before Tristan can get out to help her down. I drop to the ground at the same time—I’m getting good at getting in and out of this monster sized vehicle—and Lexi comes up to me. The raining has stopped and the blue skies are back in full force.
“Charlie,” Lexi says softly and I bend down so I’m at her level. “My daddy told me this morning you had a little girl like me.” My throat clogs at her words so I simply nod my head yes. “He said she was in an accident and now she’s in heaven.”
“Yes,” I say, my voice rough.
“I painted this picture for you.” She hands me a beautifully colored picture. “It’s of her in heaven.” She points to the angel above the clouds sitting on top of a rainbow. “My grandpa had a baby and he went to heaven. He told me every time he sees a rainbow it’s the baby. So, I put your baby on a rainbow.”
Needing to hold this little girl, who has come to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time, I drop to my knees and wrap her up in a tight hug. “Thank you, sweet girl. This means so much to me.”
“Charlie, look!” Lexi shrieks and I back up slightly to see what she’s looking at. “It’s a rainbow, Charlie! She’s there! You see!” Her tiny finger is pointing up toward the sky and sure enough, there’s a picturesque rainbow shooting up from one end of the building to another. “It’s like she’s sitting over us! Like in my picture!”
Nineteen
Tristan
Earlier…
For the first time in over six years I wake up next to a woman, and fuck if it doesn’t feel right. And not just because it’s next to a woman but because it’s next to Charlie. I watch her for a few minutes sleeping soundly as I remember the night before and how she saved my daughter from being hit by a car. I was already falling for her, but that act of selflessness has me falling even harder to the point of no return. I take in the sight of her in my bed, her messy hair covering half her face, and it has me wanting things it’s too early in this relationship to want. My thoughts go back to my conversation with Mason. I want it all. I want the kids and the dog and the love and the marriage and the white picket fucking fence. But more importantly I want it all with the woman who is currently snoring softly in my bed, in nothing but the sheets that are wrapped around her soft and curvy body that was so fucking responsive last night. My dick twitches at the memory of her screaming out her orgasms, of my mouth covering hers to muffle those same screams. And I know I want to spend the rest of my life making her scream like last night.
There’s a knock on my door, alerting me to the present. Lexi. Getting up quickly but quietly—so as not to wake Charlie—I throw on a pair of sweat pants and a shirt to start breakfast. It’s Monday morning so Lexi has no school. She greets me happily and we set out to make pancakes. As we gather all the ingredients and Lexi starts to mix them all together, I think about how I’m going to approach the subject of Charlie being in my room. I don’t want her to think it’s okay for a man and a woman to be sleeping together without being married, but at the same time I want Charlie in my bed in the future.
After giving it some thought, I decide I’m going to be honest with her. She’s only five but I was only a year or so older when Kaden came into my life. My mom didn’t have guys in and out of our home. She had Kaden. And I have Charlie. And if I have any say, she will be the only woman coming in and out of my room.
“Hey Lex, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“I’ll erase the turkey I promise!” Lexi’s eyes go wide and I stifle a laugh as my adorably bad daughter throws herself under the bus. “It was for thanksgiving! Today is November! I just wanted to make a turkey to show Charlie when she wakes up.”
Wait…what? How the heck does she know Charlie is here? My door was closed. “How did you know Charlie is here?”
“Her boots.” She points toward the front door where Charlie left her boots last night. “She’s here, right?” Her eyes light up.
“Yes, she is, but she’s sleeping. That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Sometimes Daddy might have Charlie over for sleepovers. Is that okay with you?”
Lexi smiles. “Yes, but do you think maybe I can have Charlie over for a sleepover too?”
Jesus, my daughter is too damn cute and innocent. “I’m sure she would love that.”
“Yay!”
“There’s something else I need to tell you.” I want Lexi to know about Charlie’s daughter. She’s too young to fully comprehend it all, but I’m hoping it will help her to understand why Charlie gets upset sometimes.
“You know Grandpa Kaden’s picture of the baby on the fridge you always ask about?”
“Yes, it’s his baby who went to heaven.”
“That’s right. Well Charlie had a baby too. Her baby was a little girl, and she went to heaven when she was three years old.”
“She’s with Grandpa’s baby?” Lexi asks.
“Yes, I think she is.”
“She must be so sad! I’m going to draw her a picture and you make her the special pancakes.” She runs out of the kitchen to grab her art stuff then sits at the table, drawing a picture while I make breakfast.
“Daddy, is breakfast ready yet?” Lexi yells from the table.
“Almost.”
A few minutes later, I finish the pancakes, eggs, and bacon.
“Breakfast is ready, Lex. Put your stuff away.”
“
I’ll go get Charlie!” Lexi yells, and before I can stop her, she runs down the hall toward my bedroom. Shit! Charlie is naked!
“Lexi! Wait!” But I’m too late. She’s already opened the door and is in my room. “Lex, let’s give Charlie a minute to wake up.”
“She’s not here, Daddy,” Lexi pouts, and after I assess the situation in front of me, I see she’s right. Charlie is gone. The only way she could have left is out the window.
“Let’s go see where she is,” I say to my daughter as I grab my keys. It’s sunny with a few clouds outside but it’s pouring down rain—typical California weather—so we run to the truck and jump in. Not even a mile down the road, we spot Charlie and she is standing in the rain. Not moving. Her face tilted up to the sky.
“Daddy! She’s getting all wet!”
After we pull over and Charlie gets in, we make our way back to the house. I am beyond frustrated that she would choose to crawl out of my window and walk home in the pouring rain instead of talking to me. When we get out, the rain has stopped and I hear Lexi say to Charlie, “My daddy told me this morning you had a little girl like me.”
I wanted to warn Charlie I had told Lexi about her daughter, but it’s too late now. Just as I’m about to intervene, I see them talking, and instead of cutting in, I decide it’s best to let them develop their own relationship. Wanting to give them privacy, I walk toward my front door. My phone goes off, indicating I have a text, and when I check it, I see it’s from Mason letting me know his photo shoot and interview went well in Las Vegas.
A few minutes later, Lexi and Charlie come walking up, both smiling. “Are you okay?” I whisper into Charlie’s ear before we walk inside.
“Yeah, I am. I’m sorry about leaving. I didn’t want to put you in a bad position with Lexi.”