Was that what I was doing? Was I twisting the things that Johnny had seen?
"But to answer your question, no. I don't believe there is anything he would have discovered that I would consider a secret."
I nodded, but I still couldn't look up.
"Marilee?"
"Yes?"
"Why won't you look at me?"
I shook my head, not knowing how to answer.
"Are you still upset that I struck Edmund?"
"No."
"Are you upset about what he said?"
"No, not really."
The silence stretched for a moment and I knew that he was confused and grasping for the right question. Finally he asked, "Why did you ask about secrets?"
I sat down on the trunk, my gaze falling on the window as I considered the question. "Damian had so many secrets. He hid everything from me, including who he really was."
"Marilee—"
"Johnny told me a little about his adventures trying to follow you about. I shouldn't have let him tell me. I should have respected your privacy."
"What did he see that concerns you?"
"It's silly, really. I don't know why I can't just forget it."
"Just tell me."
I turned to face him. "You were speaking to a maid outside the house. She was crying and you were being very...solicitous. Then you became angry, but then she stopped crying."
He sighed. "That doesn't paint a very flattering picture of me, does it?"
"I know it's probably not what it seems, but—"
"If there is one thing Damian taught you, I would imagine it was not to trust men."
A lump formed in my throat. "I always wondered if he was unfaithful." Because nothing I did was ever good enough for him.
"I found the maid crying behind the house when I came in from a ride. Her father was sick and the doctor refused to treat him because he lacked the money. That made me quite angry, I admit, but not at her. I assured her that her father would be taken care of and that I would arrange it and happily pay for it. That was all."
Of course that was all. I had known all along that there had to be an explanation, but suspicion is a difficult thing to overcome. I blinked back the tears of relief and tried to smile at him.
"Now do you see why I hated the idea of Edmund spying on me?"
I nodded. "Did he do it often?"
"Constantly. I caught him spying on his sister and me more times than I could count."
Edmund's sister. More of Edmund's lies. "Tell me about Juliana."
He studied me for a moment. "How much did Edmund tell you?"
"He told me his version of events. I want you to tell me yours."
He pulled a hand down his face, then looked around. "Perhaps we should find a room where we can sit."
Oh. We were still in my bedroom, and had been for quite a while. I flushed and stood just as he pushed away from the wall to head toward the door. He was so close that I could smell the scent of wind and leather coming from his clothes. My thoughts scattered for just a moment before I pulled them together and left the room, nodding at Leo who sat outside the door and stood to follow us. I led the way to my sitting room, which was still usable. The servants would close it up after I left in the morning.
I sat on one corner of the couch and he sat heavily on the other. He rested his elbows on his thighs and brushed his palms back and forth. "Juliana was the opposite of her brothers. She was sweet and selfless. She was my best friend growing up. The swimming hole I showed you was one of our many haunts."
"Did you fall in love with her?"
He looked at me, his brow creased. "She was only sixteen when she died, and we had only ever been friends."
"Edmund claimed it was a love affair. He didn't think you were worthy of her."
He turned to me with a sad smile. "I wasn't. Regardless, Juliana and I were not in love. She was my friend, my confidante." His eyes glazed over, his mind far away. "When she fell from that horse, I'd never been more frightened."
I swallowed, then forced myself to ask, "Did you leave? Right after she fell, did you leave?"
His eyes turned desolate. "I didn't want to. But Damian was furious, blaming me for the accident. My parents thought it best to leave her in the care of her family." He stared at the floor between his feet. "I've always wished I had stayed." He breathed deep and lifted his head. "What else did Edmund say?"
"That she wrote you a letter, asking you to come visit her, but you wouldn't go."
He looked stricken and genuinely confused by my words. "I knew of no such letter."
Sadness and relief swept through me. "He said Damian gave it to you himself when they came for the summer."
His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. He turned away, shaking his head in angry little movements. "Damian came to see me. But there was certainly no letter. He told me that Juliana hadn't come because of a suitor, and told me to stay out of it."
"He lied."
"So it would seem." The silence stretched for a moment. "I was disappointed, but not surprised that she had caught someone's eye. However, the complete lack of communication, as well as Damian's anger made me wonder." He stood, his agitation humming off of him. "When they left midsummer, I knew something was wrong. I came here the day they left and found Mr. Tennsworth. He's the one that told me about Juliana's illness."
"And she passed on before you could see her again." The sadness of my statement struck me, but James shook his head.
"I went to see her as soon as I discovered her condition. I left mere hours after the Rockwells."
"You did?"
"My mother encouraged me to go. She was desperately fond of Juliana. I rode on horseback and arrived half a day before Edmund and his brother and father." That far-off look returned to his eyes. "I always thought it odd that when I arrived, the duchess said, 'better late than never' before dragging me up to Juliana's sickroom."
"Why did Edmund think you had not come?"
"The duchess was grateful for my visit, but encouraged me to leave before the rest of her family arrived. She knew the boys would be angry, and didn't want an argument to upset Juliana. So I bid my friend farewell for the last time." His elbows were again planted on his knees, and he brushed his hands back and forth. His eyes were directed at the window, but they were unfocused. "She was so sweet. Still smiling despite being so weak she could hardly keep her eyes open. She teased me about being in her chambers." A sad smile pulled at his mouth. "She asked me to kiss her. Said she'd never been kissed, and this was likely her last chance. Perhaps it was inappropriate, but how could I say no..." He was so caught up in his thoughts that I was no longer sure he was aware of my presence.
I had to lighten the mood, pull him back to the present. "That was quite scandalous of you."
He looked to me, a bit of shock in his eyes before he smiled. My teasing had worked. "Do you think it was wrong of me?"
"Wrong of you to fulfill your dear friend's dying wish? No. Not in the least." Of course it was inappropriate by every standard ever set for people of the upper class, but I found myself happy that James had not let that stop him.
He focused on me, and his eyes sharpened before he moved carefully closer. His knee brushed mine, and his fingers skimmed my neck as he pushed my hair behind my shoulder. "And would it be wrong of me to kiss you now?"
My heart burned, and I mustered my bravery. "It would be very wrong of you not to kiss me." I reached out, tugging on the edge of his jacket.
He grinned, leaning in until his lips hovered over mine. "Would the old Marilee wait to be kissed? Or would she have acted on her own?"
Of course the wicked man would choose this moment, with his mouth almost touching mine, to be coy and try to provoke a reaction. "Just kiss me, James."
"Be brave, Marilee."
I couldn't stand it anymore. I moved both hands to the back of his neck and pulled him to me. He might have thought it was bravery, but it felt more like desperation that drove me t
o end the torture and press my lips to his.
My fervor seemed to surprise him, but he quickly joined in and taught me one or two things about being kissed, about being adored, maybe even about being loved.
He pulled away from my mouth and brushed his lips across one cheek and then the other before pressing them to my forehead. One of his hands rested against the side of my neck, and I held on to his wrist, my eyes closed as I breathed him in.
"I will miss you, Marilee," he murmured against my forehead. "I wish you didn't have to go."
I wished I didn't have to leave him, but it was a relief to be leaving this place. "Stay and have dinner with me."
"I don't know that your staff is up for a formal dinner."
I pulled back and grinned at him. "Who said anything about formal?"
He chuckled. "Sometimes it's difficult to believe that you are royalty."
"Because of my uncivilized ways?"
He looked down for a moment, and one side of his mouth pulled up in a small smile. "Because you put up with me."
Chapter Twenty-Three
WE ATE IN the back corner of the kitchen. I tried to convince Emeline to just bring us some cold meat, bread and cheese, but of course that was unacceptable to the young cook. Instead she made up an herb and vegetable soup. We ate and talked in the dim light of the kitchen. I shoved away my melancholy each time I realized that this might be the last time I saw James Sutton. I should have invited him to visit me in Dalthia. But I didn't. I told myself to be brave, but I couldn't.
Instead I let him play with my fingers as my hand lay on the tabletop, hoping that he would know just how much he meant to me. We sat there long after our food was gone, long after the kitchen staff had cleaned up and left us alone.
James was in the middle of a laugh when he grew suddenly quiet, his head turning as he listened for something.
I listened as well. A carriage was approaching.
James turned back to me. "Are you expecting anyone?"
"No. There is no one to expect."
Leo appeared in the kitchen doorway, looking about until his eyes fell on me. He hurried over, giving a hasty bow. "The magistrate is approaching, and he's not alone."
My gaze shifted from Leo to James and back again. "Why do both of you look so worried?"
"I can't think of any reason for him to come speak with you. He brought Winberg guards with him, Your Highness. I'd feel better if we found out their reasons for being here before they come anywhere near you."
"You think they mean me harm?"
"I think there is some mischief afoot, and we should proceed with caution."
"But what could he do?" It wasn't as if he would attack me.
"I don't know, but I don't want to find out. Will you wait here?"
I shook my head in confusion, but agreed anyway. "Very well."
James and I sat there in the silence. His eyes were fixed on the door as he listened. My eyes were fixed on him, annoyed that what may have been my last evening in his presence was being interrupted.
There was a pounding on the front door. James came to his feet. I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. He was so focused on the sounds throughout the house that he may not have been aware that he was moving slowly away from me.
"James," I called softly as he reached the kitchen door.
He turned to look at me just as a shout was heard from above. "I'll be back shortly," he said before hurrying from the room.
I was left alone. I knew that one of my guards, likely Leo, was outside the door, guarding the room, but my anxiety mounted amid the chaotic noise of raised voices and heavy boots.
The shouting escalated, bringing me to my feet. I crossed to the door just in time to see Leo hurrying down the corridor. He had kept his post outside the door until that moment. I could see him rushing to join the line of my own guards that blocked the hallway. Beyond them, the magistrate had more than ten guards to accompany him. He was raising his hand, trying to calm the tension. I stayed hidden as I watched from the shadowed doorway.
"I have no wish for a fight. But I must uphold the law, and that includes insisting that I speak with Lady Rockwell."
"What law do you have to uphold?" James spoke up from his position in front of my men.
"I have the utmost compassion for what Lady Rockwell has endured, but this estate belongs to the Winberg Duchy. We have reason to believe that she will be taking items with her which are very important to the Rockwell family. I am only here to ensure that nothing goes missing that should not."
"And for that you had to bring this many men with you."
"I know that Lady Rockwell's guards are exceedingly loyal. I need to be sure that justice will be carried out. I will need Lady Rockwell to come with me for questioning while Sir Edmund goes through the house to identify anything that might be missing."
"You are accusing a princess of theft? In her own home?"
The magistrate's response was lost among the jumble of my own thoughts. If they did go through the house, they would find things missing. I was sure that Edmund had already noticed the missing furniture. The furniture that I had burned. He could have asked me about it at any time, but now that I had rejected and angered him, he was using it to punish me.
Fear crawled into my chest and sat there in cold defiance. I could not let them take me away. I did not know to what lengths Edmund would go, but his brother had been willing to cross any line. Could I expect any less of him?
I crept from the doorway and slipped down the hall until I reached the servants' stairs. Perhaps James would convince the magistrate that I was already gone, or at least convince him to leave.
I padded up the stairs, my breathing shallow as the cold dread filled me. The creak of a stair below me made me spin in time to see Edmund's face before he clamped a hand over my mouth and pinned me against the wall with his body.
"Running away, are you?"
I clawed at his arms and hands, trying to throw him off, but it was no use.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Princess. Now, be still," he hissed through his teeth. "I've tried to gain an audience with you for the past several days, but your arrogant watchmen refused me even a moment of your time. The precious princess couldn't be bothered with the likes of me, the man under whose roof you live."
The voices downstairs grew louder, raising to shouts as the magistrate tried to assert his authority.
I pounded my fist into the wall behind me and tried to stamp my feet, anything that might draw the attention of those downstairs.
"We are brother and sister, you and I, so if I feel a conversation is necessary, then I will have it." His fingers flexed, digging into my cheeks. "It was a shame I had to involve the magistrate, but I couldn't have you scampering back to your parents without giving me the courtesy of one little conversation."
He turned me to face the wall, keeping one hand covering my mouth and wrapping the other arm around my waist. I clawed at his hands, then planted my feet against the wall and pushed back. Edmund lost his balance, falling backwards and bringing me down on top of him. I tried to pull free, but he grabbed hold again.
I screamed, but it was cut short by a cry of pain as Edmund yanked me to my feet and dragged me up the remaining few stairs.
"ROCKWELL!"
I looked down the long corridor. Edmund held me at the top of the servants' stairs at the back of the house. At the opposite end of the wide corridor, James was bounding up the last few stairs of the grand staircase.
Edmund was undeterred, pushing me toward the nearest chamber, despite my flailing and shouting.
"I will return your princess in a moment, Sutton," he shouted over his shoulder before pushing me through the door. Just inside the chamber, I reached for the first thing within my grasp. I would not be locked up against my will. I would not be dominated. Not by Edmund, not by anyone. My fingers wrapped around the low-burning lantern that sat on the table just inside the door. I spun around, swinging the lantern at Edmund.
He released me and jumped out of the way. Instead of hitting Edmund, the lantern connected with the doorframe and shattered.
Broken glass and fuel rained down between Edmund and me. Fury replaced the shock on Edmund's face, and he made the slightest move to come at me again, but then the flames rose up, creating a wall of fire in the doorway.
I backed away out of instinct, retreating from the fire as it swelled.
"No, foolish girl!" Edmund shouted from the hallway. He had not moved back, but was trying to get closer, his hands beckoning. "You must come out before the flames grow higher!"
It took only a second for me to comprehend. I looked around. I was in a bed chamber. The bed was covered with peach ruffles and bright white pillows. The rest of the furniture was draped in fabric in anticipation of closing the house. It was a chamber with only one door, and that escape was engulfed in flames. I stepped toward Edmund, but quickly backed away. It was already too late.
Edmund turned to look down the corridor and shouted, "Water! We need water! Now!"
I backed up another step, the heat warning of pain. I was going to die. I was going to burn.
I stared at the flames, my heartbeat pounding in my head. James appeared, took hold of Edmund's shirt front and shouted in his face before tossing him aside. He turned to me, his entire face awash with fear and desperation. "Marilee!"
"James!" I cried out with terror and regret. "There's no way out!"
"We'll get you out!" The words were confident, but I could see the uncertainty in his face.
I stepped back, coughing on the smoke. I pressed the fabric of my sleeve over my mouth as the fire scurried over the tapestry hanging on the opposite wall. "Get everyone out! It's not safe!"
Instead of listening to me, James and several guards stepped forward, holding coats or drapes and beating at the flames. They seemed to be having some marginal success, but then I heard the crack.
I searched for the source of the sound and saw a second lantern, sitting in an alcove in the wall. The glass was cracking. If it broke open...
I ducked down, throwing my arms over my head as the lantern shattered, spraying more fuel into the room, feeding the flames.
Saving Marilee Page 24