by Aj Estelliam
‘Just trying to identify the head,’ I said slowly.
‘Oh…gross,’ he muttered.
‘Yeah…it’s pretty horrific.’
‘I know,’ he sympathised. ‘But you know what I keep thinking?’
‘What’s that?’
‘Well, where are the other bits?’ he said, curling his lip in disgust. ‘Does the killer still have them or are they lying all over the place-discarded like old rubbish?’
As he spoke, I watched him with interest. My stomach began to tremble with butterflies and a sick feeling began to curl through my gut. I was there in the moment and then the next second I was lost as I drifted…
The axe came down heavily and sliced through flesh with a sickening thud. Body parts fell to the ground and I watched as they lay there, discarded. Chop, thud. Chop, thud. The saw was next and worked its way through the tough flesh and bone that was left. The parts were then chosen and thrown away, chosen and thrown away. Images flashed of locations-a church, a dump and a field. The car drove away and the driver carried with him a feeling of satisfaction. Job done, he thought. The unwanted was gone, the good had been chosen.
I started, awakening from my vision and gasped.
‘Oh my God, that was so weird!’
I blinked rapidly as Billy came back into view. I frowned. ‘What?’
‘You just…you just went off somewhere? What the hell were you seeing? Your eyes were flickering and going this way and that with a mind of their own! It was so freaky!’ he said, looking almost amused.
‘I…your words provoked a vision,’ I told him, frowning.
‘Yeah? What did I say?’
‘You called them ‘discarded parts.’ That’s how he thinks of them.’
‘Who?’
‘The killer!’ I exclaimed.
‘No way! You saw the killer?’
‘No…I just felt his thoughts.’
‘You felt his thoughts?’ he questioned.
‘Yes. Don’t try and ask me to explain this crap that I do,’ I begged him. ‘I don’t get any of it myself. I need to find Jess,’ I said standing up.
‘Can I help?’ he asked.
‘Sure,’ I nodded. ‘Come on…we need as much help as possible.’
We headed down the corridor and the lift in the distance opened with Jess in as we walked side by side.
‘Jess!’
‘Hey,’ she said, approaching us.
‘I had a vision,’ I told her, cutting out any preamble.
‘You did? Of what?’
‘Discarded body parts,’ I said clearly. ‘I saw locations and flashes in my head. I can take you to at least three places where more body parts will be found,’ I revealed.
‘Let’s go then,’ she responded, her demeanour all business straight away. ‘Do we need back-up?’
‘Billy is free to come…I mean, it’s body parts so we’re going to need forensics and the medical examiner, right?’
‘Shall we head out first and see if we actually find anything?’ Jess suggested.
I sighed. ‘Have I ever been wrong, Jess?’
She gave me a look. ‘We’ll find the part first and then call for the medical examiner to pick up. We don’t know how long it’ll take, right?’
‘That is one good point,’ I admitted.
‘Come on then. Let’s head out.’
We went out to the car park and all climbed into an official vehicle.
‘You need to tell me where to go, Alex.’
‘Right,’ I said, closing my eyes. ‘Head to a dump.’
‘A dump?’ she questioned, her voice rising.
‘Yeah…there’s a dump, a church and a field…parts at each location.’
‘Great,’ she said grumpily. ‘Maybe we should do the dump last, Alex. We don’t want to be stinking the whole time we’re out searching for body parts.’
‘Good point. Maybe the field then. Let’s try there first.’
‘Okay. So, where is it?’
I looked over at her. ‘I don’t actually know.’
‘So how do you suggest we find it then?’
‘Maybe just drive to some fields and I can tell you if it’s the right one?’
She glared at me grumpily. ‘Alex!’
‘Well, what else do you suggest?’
‘I have no other suggestion! But this one really does suck…’
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.
‘What are you doing now?’
‘Just be quiet,’ I ordered.
A laugh sounded from the back of the car as Billy sniggered at our bickering.
‘You too, Billy…I need some quiet.’
They went blessedly quiet and I could think…I could see…I could see the car driving. As I pictured the route, I began to speak. ‘Take a left and head down the lane…’
‘Okay,’ Jess said, and began driving.
Chapter 6
I gave directions with my eyes closed and my head deep in thought. I spoke in low, deep tones as I was led to the place where the hand lay in the undergrowth. I followed the image, and that image was of a feather. It was white and small and so clearly dancing along merrily to the place I needed to find.
‘Left now,’ I murmured. ‘And then one hundred metres along the road. Stop in the layby,’ I ordered.
I opened my eyes as the car drew to a stop.
‘This is it?’ Billy asked from the back.
‘Yes,’ I nodded, glancing backwards.
‘You’re sure?’ Jess asked me.
‘Am I usually wrong?’ I asked her, not wanting to be big-headed but stating fact. When I saw things in my mind, they were accurate. I hadn’t yet been wrong with my visions. I had been unsure along the way, but once the thoughts or images had come-always spot on.
‘No…you’re not.’
‘We’re going to find a hand,’ I told her.
She raised her eyebrows as she looked at me.
‘And I think once again, it’s a little gross like the head.’
‘In what way?’ Billy asked.
‘I think there’s no skin again.’
‘Oh…’ he replied, grimacing.
‘Let’s go,’ Jess said, climbing out of the car.
I got out of my side and slammed the door shut. We then went around the fencing which bordered off the field and through the railings to the grass. I walked in the direction which felt right but initially wasn’t sure I was in the correct place. As soon as I saw the feather, I knew though.
‘There,’ I said, pointing ahead.
‘What?’ Jess frowned.
‘See the white feather? That’s where the hand is…’
‘What white feather?’
‘There!’ I said, pointing. It was as clear as day!
‘I don’t see any white feather,’ Jess complained. ‘Billy?’
‘Sorry, Alex. It’s not there.’
I turned and looked again. To me, it was as real as the grass beneath my feet. ‘I guess only I can see it then. It’s leading me,’ I told them, concerned that I may be wrong. ‘I think it’s there…shall we go and check?’
They both agreed and we headed over. As we walked, I could still see the small, white feather as clearly as everything else around me. It seemed strange to me that it was clearly imaginary as it looked so life-like.
When we reached the area of undergrowth where the feather lay, I bent and searched with my eyes. It took moments to spot the hand. It lay beside a patch of weeds and like I had imagined, it was skinless.
‘There,’ I pointed and then stood up and stepped back.
Jess and Billy stepped in and bent to see what I had found. When they stood, Jess looked at me with a knowing look. ‘You were right.’
I nodded, but said nothing. I didn’t need to keep repeating the fact which I knew. What I saw was accurate. I wasn’t leading police on false trails or being evasive. This was real, this gift. Whatever it was, it was real.
‘I need to phone for a team,’ she m
urmured and stepped away from us to speak on her mobile.
I felt Billy’s eyes on me and I looked over at him. ‘What?’
He stared at me for a moment. His thoughts were full of wonder more than anything else and I found it slightly disconcerting.
‘That was amazing.’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t control it, Billy. It’s not like a special talent I learned.’
‘No, but it’s amazing to watch you,’ he said, his eyes wide with admiration.
‘Well, it’s not so amazing to do,’ I said quietly.
‘What? Really? But you’ve helped the police so much since you came here.’
‘I know,’ I sighed. ‘But it’s been very hard.’
‘In what way?’
‘Well, because I’m not cut out for this Billy. I wouldn’t have chosen a life as a police officer or a nurse or even as anyone connected to crime. I find these things squeamish and blood makes me sick. I’m struggling,’ I admitted.
‘Then why do you do it?’ he asked bluntly.
I met his eyes and held them. ‘What else would you do?’ I asked. ‘You’ve been granted a gift where you can make a difference to people’s lives…even save them. Surely you would help?’
He nodded. ‘I know I would.’
‘That’s how I feel,’ I told him.
‘Even though it’s at your own personal expense?’ he questioned.
I nodded. ‘Even though…’
He scanned my face. ‘Maybe it’s just a matter of finding ways and means of escapism when the visions are not there.’
I looked at him with interest. ‘What do you mean?’
‘They’re not constant, are they? The visions? They come and go, right?’
‘Sure.’
‘So, when they’re not plaguing you, forget about it. Find distractions, things that make you happy. Listen to good music, chat with a friend, watch a funny film…I think a lot of the time, life is about making choices. We can choose to revel in the misery or we can choose to be happy.’
I held his gaze and felt inspired by him. ‘You know what, Billy-you’re right! And I choose to be happy.’
‘Good on you. I choose to be happy too,’ he smiled.
I smiled back at him as Jess arrived back on the scene.
‘What the hell are you two grinning about?’ she asked. ‘I thought we just found a skinless, fucking hand!’
‘We did, Jess, yes. What’s the plan now?’
She sighed and shoved her hands into her pockets grumpily. ‘We wait for the medical examiner to come. He’s on his way.’
‘Okay, good. Then on to the next one?’ I questioned.
She nodded. ‘Yeah…we’ll get them to keep following us until we’ve picked up everything you can locate.’
‘Okay, fine. Jess?’ I murmured.
‘What?’ she said, slightly snappily.
‘You’re doing fine,’ I reassured her.
Her eyes flew to mine. ‘Why would you say that?’
‘Because I know you, and because I can hear you.’
Billy walked away in an attempt to be subtle and give us some space.
‘I don’t like this,’ she complained, her voice quiet and her eyes avoiding mine.
I didn’t bother questioning ‘this’ as I knew what she was talking about. ‘Jess, it’s only for a limited amount of time. Captain Withers will be back before you know it!’
‘Alex, he broke his hip in the fall! He’s not going to be back for ages and I don’t know if I can do this.’
‘You can and you will. Jess, you’re handling it fine. You’re doing great. Believe in yourself a little more…relax and just believe it will be fine.’
‘But I never wanted this responsibility. I don’t want to be the point where the decision ends.’
‘No, I know…but let me reassure you-you’ll do fine and then it’s over because your boss comes back. I can see him presenting you with an award or medal or something,’ I said, reaching into my mind for the picture I saw. ‘You don’t need to worry.’
‘I think it’s this case, Alex. I feel out of my depth.’
‘Jess, I feel out of my depth every single day! The thing is, we have each other and we complement one another. I can help you. If you let me, that is.’
She met my eyes and I saw her soften internally. ‘I’ve been a right cow today to you, haven’t I?’
I chuckled. ‘Maybe a little grumpy…’
‘I’m sorry. It’s just…well, I don’t really know what I’m doing. This looks like it’s going to be a nightmare of a case and I find myself in charge!’
‘We’ll figure it out, Jess.’
‘You’ll help me?’
‘I’ll be right by your side every step of the way,’ I assured her.
She smiled at me with a gentle expression on her face. ‘I love you. You know that, right?’
‘Of course I do,’ I smiled back. ‘And I love you too.’
She released a breath as if she had been holding it for a long time. ‘Right. Let’s get this moving then.’
I nodded. ‘That’s the spirit.’
The medical examiner and his team arrived five minutes later. They climbed out of the car and sheathed themselves in blue suits, ready for their work. As they approached, I watched them with curiosity.
‘Hello,’ the older man greeted us, as the team stopped where we stood.
‘Good to see you Vaughn,’ Jess said, extending her hand.
‘And you JJ. I trust you are well?’ he asked, speaking with precise elocution.
‘I am. Jacob Vaughn, this is Alex Hope-she’s one of our team and she’s new. She works in criminal profiling.’
‘Nice to meet you Alex,’ he said and shook my hand warmly.
‘And you,’ I said, glancing over curiously to the rest of his team.
He looked behind him and indicated the man and woman he was with. ‘This is Alison Linton-my assistant medical examiner and Fraser Williamburg-my trainee assistant medical examiner. They’ll be working alongside me today.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ I said briefly.
Jess nodded as if to greet them and then quickly turned to the task at hand. ‘We have three body parts to pick up today. We have the first one here-a hand.’
‘How did you locate it?’ Chief Peterson asked.
‘We were provided with information from a psychic.’
He scoffed. ‘Baloney! Look deeper,’ he advised her, peering at her over his perched glasses. ‘If a so-called psychic has this kind of information, no doubt they are involved!’
‘I’ll take it into consideration, sir. As it stands, we’ve been led to a body part.’
‘We’ll take over from here,’ he murmured.
Jess and I stood back to let the small team look at the hand. I watched in fascination as they scoured the area for other forensic evidence which might prove useful to our case.
After they had secured the scene and were finally ready to move on, Jess shared her plan with him.
‘I think it’s better you follow us to the next location,’ she stated. ‘Otherwise I’m going to be calling you out three times today.’
‘Good plan. We’ll follow on behind you,’ he told her.
Jess, Billy and I went to our vehicles and strapped ourselves in. One the car was started, Jess asked me to direct her. Once again, I closed my eyes and let the image of the feather guide me to the next location.
‘Turn right,’ I told her softly. ‘Follow the road…’
‘Okay.’
I watched as the feather meandered along before me and floated up and down in rhythmic beauty. It headed west and I followed, giving instructions to Jess along the way.
When it began to slow, I knew we were almost there. I directed her into the church ground and was out of the car following it before it barely stopped. I tripped and stumbled over snow lying heavily on the ground as the feather rushed forwards. It floated on and I hurried along to reach it. Suddenly, it stopped in mid-air a
nd then dropped, floating down to the ground. As it reached the snowy floor, it disappeared into thin air and in its place, was a leg. A leg which had been chopped off a man-that was clear to see. I stared at it, while bile rose in my throat.
Behind me, Jess spoke.
‘Step back, Alex.’
‘I feel sick,’ I moaned.
‘Go back to the car and have a drink of water. We’ll handle it from here,’ she instructed.
I had no desire to stop and contemplate a dead leg which had had the skin removed from it. No, I turned and fled as she had suggested-back to the car and the safety that the vehicle provided.
When I reached the car, I did as Jess suggested. I took deep breaths and drank some water. It seemed like an age before Jess returned with Billy. Even then, the medical examiner team were not finished and we still had to wait for them.
‘Just one more,’ Jess reminded me, seemingly aware that I was struggling now.
I nodded, unable to trust my voice to speak. I swallowed hard.
‘You think you can manage this last one?’
I glanced at her briefly and nodded. ‘I just want to get it over with now,’ I told her brokenly.
‘I know,’ she said gently, laying her hand on my arm softly.
Moments later, the other team traipsed back across the snow of the graveyard. I sighed in relief.
‘Last one. Let’s get moving,’ I said quietly.
Chapter 7
I closed my eyes once again and followed the feather along the roads it indicated. Even though my eyes were closed, I knew when we had reached the dump as the smell hit my senses hard.
‘Nearly there…left and then a sharp right,’ I told Jess.
‘Okay.’
The feather meandered and then stilled. I got out of the idling car and Jess stopped it to get out and follow me.
The feather before me floated jauntily through the air, up and down, over and under, enjoying its merry dance through the cold, winter air. I walked through disgusting stenches as it led me to the place where the body part lay. When it stopped, I stopped.
It floated down and my eyes flickered with it. When it reached the ground, I blinked and then saw we had arrived. The bile rose and this time I could not contain it. I turned and heaved. Sick came and I threw up all over the stinking, rubbish laden ground. A wave of nausea hit me again and I fell to my knees, being sick again and again.