She's happier without her ex-husband around.
She's even dating... as far as I can tell. She doesn't exactly hang out to chitchat.
She and I take turns embarrassing our respective siblings. There are no speeches, no toasts, just the awe of seeing two people so totally perfect for each other.
It's overwhelming. I back off after Fiona picks up the tab—technically, she is the groom's family—to give them space.
It's a private moment, Kat and Blake staring into each other's eyes, whispering softly. I force myself to look away, but my gaze keeps going back to them. It's still such a wonderful sight—my sister so happy. I never thought she'd have that again.
I never thought either one of us would do anything but struggle.
I stare at my phone to keep myself occupied. There are a few confirmation emails about the bachelorette party.
And there's a text message from Nick.
Nick: Are you giving a speech tomorrow?
Not exactly a declaration of love, but it is sweet.
I reply.
Lizzy: A big one. Haven't started yet.
Nick: You have sixteen hours.
Lizzy: Give or take. Luckily, I'm terrible with words.
Nick: You have enough charm to make up for it.
Lizzy: Are you trying to make me blush?
Nick: No. I don't want to distract you, but I'd regret not wishing you good luck.
Lizzy: Thanks.
Nick: I'm sure that whatever you write will be beautiful.
We meet her friends, plus Sarah, at an all-male strip club at nine o'clock. Kat and her friends take the front entrance. Sarah leads me around back, to the stage entrance. I don't bother wondering how she knows her way around this place. It's Sarah. It has to be sex.
The place is surprisingly clean. The furniture is red velvet, the walls are mirrors, and the black stage is lined with little yellow lights.
Our table is plenty big for the six of us. Kat has three friends from school with her. They all seem nice.
A waiter clad in only a bowtie and a pair of black-and-white briefs stops at our table. He kneels in front of Kat like he's about to propose.
"Are you the bride to be?" He smiles.
She blushes. "Oh my God, Lizzy. Remind me to kill you after the honeymoon." She turns to the buff man, her expression polite but not at all interested. "I am."
"This is for you." He pulls a "Bride" sash from a hook on the wall and drapes it over her shoulders. "And what are you drinking on your last night of freedom?"
"Gin and tonic."
He nods to note her order then goes around the group. Each of us gets a flirty smile and a word of encouragement.
The man is good at his job. He's cute—green eyes, brown hair, huge muscles—but my body is entirely apathetic to his hand on my wrist.
When our drinks arrive, Sarah busts out her offering to the festivities—penis-shaped straws. Kat turns as red as a tomato but makes no objections.
"Why do you think all this bachelorette shit is cock-shaped?" Sarah pulls a massive penis-shaped lollipop from her purse and hands it to Kat.
"Thanks." Kat passes it to one of her friends. "I have plenty."
"It's to remind you that you're stuck with one dick for the rest of your life." Kat's redheaded friend giggles.
"Do you worry about it, Kat? Only one guy for your whole life. Won't that get boring?" Kat's black-haired friend asks.
"Nope." Kat downs her gin and tonic in one long sip. "He's perfect."
"Him or his—" Her black-haired friend waves the penis lollipop.
"The whole package." She laughs. "Oh, fuck. I didn't mean it like that."
The lights dim. A smoke machine kicks on, filling the room with haze. Music starts.
And then there are four men on stage in Western jeans and cowboy hats, grinding and thrusting to the beat. Kat covers her face with her hands, barely peeking.
"I can't believe you talked me into this," she says.
"You love it." I knock back my rum and diet.
She giggles. Her hands stay over her eyes.
The show is more cheeky than it is sexy. The men do a coordinated routine then strip to their underwear. They strike a pose as the music ends. A moment later, they're back on stage with a new routine, stripping off a new set of clothes.
Our waiter is incredibly attentive. I make an effort to pace myself, and I'm still three drinks deep by the time the dancers break. I excuse myself to the bathroom to pee and check my phone for texts from Nick. There's nothing, of course. He was clear enough.
You could be a priority. My first priority.
I stare at my phone, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard. I can't say this in a text. And I can't say it right now.
On my way back to the table, I run right into my sister. She slides her arm around me, smiling wide and slurring her words.
"Lizzy. You're such a hard-ass sometimes, but you don't fool me for a second. Not even one second." She wavers. "You are being so fucking stupid right now."
"How many drinks have you had?"
"Too many." She looks me in the eyes. "You're not fooling me for shit. I know you're in love with Nick."
"Do you?"
"That's right. And I know... I know that you still believe there's a chance."
"You've veered into drunk, sweetie."
She shrugs.
I check the time. A little after ten. The hair and makeup person will be in the apartment in twelve hours.
In theory, it's plenty of time. But I'm not risking it with Kat this tipsy.
"Okay. Time to go home. You want to say 'bye to your friends?" I ask.
"No. I want to talk to you."
"Let me pay, darling."
I drag Kat back to the table and settle the check. It takes a while to get through the goodbyes. Everyone wants to hug the bride to be. We're not safely in a cab until nearly eleven.
"You're really stubborn. You know that?" she asks.
"You're really drunk." I give our address to the cabbie and turn my attention back to Kat. "You nervous?"
"Really nervous." She plays with her seat belt. "It's crazy how much everything costs, how big a deal it is for this thirty-minute ceremony. And then you're married and that's so real."
"Blake loves you a lot."
She smiles. "It's really nice, you know, when you find that person."
I nod.
"And if you do... you have to hold on and never let go. Okay, Lizzy?"
"But you left him. Last year, you left him. You loved him, but you left him."
She looks out the windows as we breeze through Times Square. Her eyes are wide. Her face is filled with wonder.
She's not drunk. She's just Kat.
"I couldn't be with him unless he loved me back," she says.
I nod. "What if he'd said no?"
"It would have hurt, but it felt good to say those words. I had to do it. No matter what happened after."
I settle into my seat, watching the city whiz by.
The drive passes quickly. In minutes, we're at the penthouse apartment. I pay the cabbie and help Kat to the curb.
It doesn't occur to me until we're in the penthouse elevator. I was in a car without batting an eyelash. It didn't worry me at all.
Some of it must be my focus on the wedding. But the rest I owe to Nick.
In the apartment, I force Kat to drink half a gallon of water, eat a snack, wash off her makeup, brush her teeth, and get promptly to bed.
The living room is mine. I pull out the empty notebook and I channel all the feelings whirring around inside me.
And I write until my hand goes numb.
Chapter Thirty-Five
I zip Kat's dress and take one last look around the apartment. We have everything. It's go time.
Downstairs, the limo is waiting. Flutters are building in my stomach. My sister is getting married. I'm walking her down the aisle. I'm standing with her at the altar. I'm giving the speech.
&
nbsp; It's a big fucking deal.
Her dress doesn't have a train. A good thing, because it's raining.
It's April. Of course it's raining.
I close my eyes and listen to the drops pound against the aluminum roof.
"You okay?" she asks.
"Yep. You?"
She nods. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."
"Glad you skipped lunch?"
"Very glad."
"You look beautiful. Really beautiful." I fight my desire to cry. Plenty of time for that later.
Instead, I check my purse for my speech and my extra copy of Kat's vows. I'm under strict orders not to read them, so I zip my purse, toss it on the bench seat, and rest my head on Kat's shoulder.
She plays with her engagement ring.
"You should put that on your right hand," I say. "Don't want to upstage the wedding ring."
She switches the rock to her right ring finger. Her eyes stay on the sparkly gem. "Is this really happening?"
"It is."
"Are you sure I'm not dreaming?"
I smile. "Positive."
"I'm really young to get married. Mom and Dad would be freaking if they were here."
"They were like twenty-three. Barely a year older than you are now."
"Yeah."
"You love him, right?"
"Like I love breathing."
"I've never seen two happier people." I squeeze her. "Do you really doubt your decision, even for a minute?"
"No." She takes a deep breath, her expression softening. She looks down at her dress. "It feels like I'm dreaming."
I pinch the back of her neck.
She yelps.
"You're not dreaming."
"You're a brat."
"Love you too."
The car stops for a solid three minutes. That was fast. I collect my purse, smooth my dress. This is happening and I'm ready.
The limo door opens. There's a smiling woman in a black pantsuit, holding a pink and white bouquet with a big pink bow.
She's one of the wedding planners. She introduces herself as Shelby Something—I'm too nervous to catch the last name—and hands us each a bottle of water.
I chug half of mine, but my throat still feels dry. There's no way I'm calming my nerves today. Might as well enjoy the ride.
Shelby presses her earpiece to her head and speaks into the receiver. "Okay. Get everyone seated." She offers Kat her hand. "We're ready for you."
Kat look at me as if to ask "is this really happening?" I nod.
She takes Shelby's hand and steps onto the curb. The rain is still pounding, but it doesn't seem to bother either of them. Shelby hands Kat the bouquet and helps me out of the limo.
"You're walking your sister down the aisle?" she asks.
I nod.
"How sweet." She leads us through the back entrance then points to the ceremony site, about five hundred feet away. There's a pink tarp tied to the blooming cherry blossom trees. The few dozen guests are seated in plastic folding chairs. Half of them are holding pink umbrellas.
"You'll get a little wet," Shelby says. "But we have a portable wooden walkway on the grass. Your dresses are safe."
We move closer, until we're about two hundred feet away.
There's a small guesthouse shielding us from view. We come to the corner. The next step is onto that walkway. Then it's one long path down the aisle.
Kat holds the bouquet to her chest.
I sling my arm with hers. "You got this?"
She nods.
It's pouring too hard for me to hear anything.
Shelby taps us on the shoulder, and then it's our turn.
Kat is really getting married.
I squeeze her as we make our way down the slippery wooden path. The world becomes a blur.
The cool colors of the rain. The soft pink of the petals blowing in the wind. And Kat standing across from Blake, both of them so happy they could die.
I'm too nervous to hear a word the officiant says, but I can feel all the love between my sister and the man who is about to become her husband. The way they stare at each other, with so much honesty, so much vulnerability.
When they read their vows, I start bawling. I don't even try to blame the rain. I used to think this kind of thing was cheesy bullshit, but it's so sweet, so beautiful.
He slides the ring onto her finger. "I do."
And then it's her turn, and her smile is so wide I almost worry her cheeks are going to break off.
She slides the ring onto his finger. "I do."
And then they're kissing. It's like a fairytale. I can see the magic swirling around them. I can see that everything in the world is exactly where it needs to be.
It's a tender moment, one that would usually be theirs alone.
But they're sharing it with the world.
That's love. You share it with the world.
A tear rolls down my cheek. I do nothing to stem it. My sister is married, and she's happy, and no matter what happens—
She's gonna be okay.
The next ten minutes are a blur. I pose for a few dozen pictures, then wait as the photographer focuses solely on the bride and groom.
For a few minutes, I watch Kat and Blake pose. They both look so happy, so natural, so free.
Maybe she's right, and I have to tell Nick how I feel, no matter the results. It's possible he'll hate me for interfering with Shepard. It's possible I'm about to lose any chance we have at any kind of relationship—
But it's a risk I'm willing to take.
I step under the now empty altar and look up at the transparent pink tarp. The rain is down to a drizzle. It makes tiny drops on the tarp, that same pitter-patter, only softer.
I pull my phone from my purse and call Nick.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Voicemail.
"Hey Nick. It's Lizzy. I'm at the wedding. It was beautiful. Reception starts in forty-five minutes, but that's not why I'm calling. It's because I have something to say."
I take a deep breath, willing my thoughts to straighten.
They do.
"I talked to Shepard. He made me a deal, to leave your company alone if I ended our relationship. I thought it would make you happy. It did. But it made me miserable. Nick... I don't want to say this over the phone. I'll come over after the reception. I have to see you. Please, even if you hate me for getting involved." I dig my hand into my phone. "Let me know where you'll be tonight. The reception ends around seven. I can get anywhere in the city by seven-thirty."
I end the call and hug the phone to my chest. My heart is racing. My breath is totally uneven.
Whatever happens, I have to tell him today.
Chapter Thirty-Six
The reception is in a solarium. There's hardwood floor beneath us and a beautiful curved glass ceiling above us. The dance floor is surrounded by tables with soft white cloths.
The cake is sitting against the wall, right in the center. It's white and pink, and it's decorated with cherry blossom petals.
It's so Kat. The ceremony, the reception, the dress—all of it is perfect.
The sound system reverberates as the DJ steps up to the mic. "Now arriving, Mr. and Mrs. Sterling."
Blake and Kat step through the doors. They go straight to the dance floor. They dance to Etta James's rendition of "At Last." It's seamless and sweet. The whole time, they're staring into each other's eyes like they're lost in a different world.
When the song ends, they mouth "I love you" and take their seats.
The DJ speaks. "The salad course will arrive in ten minutes. But first, some words from the best woman and the maid of honor."
A coordinator brings a mic to Fiona. I find my speech in my purse and read over it. I'm so focused I don't hear a single word she says. I don't even look up until I hear clapping and cheering.
She passes the mic to me.
Here goes nothing.
I stand up and look over the reception. "I'm sure you've heard this story,
but I was in an accident four years ago. It killed our parents. Almost killed me. Doctors told me I'd never walk again." I dig my fingers into the mic. "It gets better, I promise."
The tension in the room eases into a laugh. "Kat was only eighteen, but she was there every day when I woke up, and when I fell asleep. She took me to every physical therapy session and every doctor's appointment. For a long time, I was sure that no one would ever take care of us but each other. I was protective of her too. When she met Blake, I didn't want her to have anything to do with him."
Everyone laughs.
"I never thought I'd be okay with anyone else taking care of my sister, but when I see her and Blake together, I know I can pass the torch. He appreciates everything that matters about her. The way she sees all the magic and beauty in the world. The way she loves with her whole heart. I've never seen two people more perfect for each other. A year ago, I didn't believe that kind of happiness was possible." I look over to them. They're smiling. Blushing even.
"You guys made me believe in love. You made me believe enough that I fell in love. That wasn't possible last year. And that's worth more than all of Blake's money. Which is a lot." I swallow hard. Almost done. "I'm so happy for you both. It couldn't happen to two better people."
People are laughing. Kat is crying. Blake wipes a tear from her eye and presses his lips against hers.
It's too hard to breathe in here. I lock eyes with Kat then motion to the door. I mouth, "I'm going to get some air."
She nods okay and mouths, "I love you."
Everyone is looking at the food. It's my only chance for a break. I go straight to the main entrance and slip outside.
The air is still cold and damp, still drizzling. I wipe my glasses on my dress but it doesn't help.
"Here."
Huh? That's Nick's voice.
I look up. That's him. That's Nick.
He takes my glasses, wipes them dry on his shirt, and slides them back on my face. His touch is gentle, affectionate.
"Your speech was beautiful," he says.
"You heard that all the way over here?"
He nods. "I didn't want to interrupt." He runs his fingertips over my cheek. "Did you mean the part about falling in love?"
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