by Alana Lorens
He took a deep, shuddering breath, then stared at the floor.
“I got the dog shortly after that, praying she was the first step back to you. It’s like that book, you know, the one that says if you visualize your goals and start acting like they’re coming to you, then you can attract them?” He started to reach for her hand but then pulled back. “I knew nothing about your life. When I played in Asheville, no one I talked to knew where you’d gone, none of the managers at the clubs, or in your neighborhood. So I was lost.”
Leyla’s jaw worked, as if she would say something, but in this flood of emotion, she was lost, too. She didn’t know what to interject, or even if she should. It didn’t feel as if Arran had finished. She didn’t want to misjudge what he was going to say; anticipation could kill everything. But it sounded like…
For all those years, they’d lived in pain and loneliness but dreamed about each other. Could it be he was going to ask her to be with him?
The thought both frightened and thrilled her at the same time.
“My publicist insisted that I start using social media, and that’s where I got the idea to look for you, a couple months ago. For a long time, I didn’t find anything at all, and I almost gave up.”
“But… Bonsai Boy?”
That brought a chuckle. “Yeah, I wanted some privacy, so I created my own persona, not like my fan page and all that flashy stuff.”
“That makes sense.”
“And then once I found the one I thought was you, you wouldn’t even respond to me. I figured I’d blown my chance.” This time he waited for her to answer, apparently wanting to know why she’d dragged her feet. She wished she had an answer that wouldn’t sound cruel.
“Arran, I—I’m sorry about that. I just… I don’t know. I didn’t know who’d be trying to contact me, and my life has been so quiet, so peaceful since the divorce. I’m writing now, and I just…”
Her voice trailed off as she realized how lame she sounded. What the hell was she doing? This man had practically ripped his heart from his chest and handed it to her. Had she grown as frozen as her Pittsburgh neighbors? Struggling, she fell silent, the rumble of the tires on the road sounding loud as the car rolled on.
“I almost hired a private investigator,” Arran confessed, “once I knew you were in Pittsburgh. I had the phone in my hand. I wanted to know everything about you: if you were married, if you had a house full of kids, if your life was everything you wanted. But I couldn’t do it. It would have been rude and intrusive, all those things I hate about my public life. Your writing, though—I found that on the Internet.”
Surprised, she shifted in her seat, trying to find a position more comfortable, less like she was on the spot. “That’s how you knew to send the tickets to the City Paper.”
He grinned. “Yep. Once I got hold of Mike, the rest went like clockwork.”
“And here we are.”
“And here we are.” He leaned forward again, extending his legs so their knees touched this time. “I didn’t want to disturb your life, if you had found what you were looking for. If you were happy. So that’s the question I need to ask you. Are you happy?”
There it was, in black and white. Was she happy? She wasn’t sure there was a black-and-white answer. Definitely something in a thick shade of gray.
“I’m okay.” She hoped she sat far enough into the shadow of the corner of the seat that he couldn’t see her face. Shame washed over her as she had to admit her life wasn’t the success it should have been. She was just lucky she had no family to embarrass with her lack of accomplishment.
“Just okay?” Hope infused his voice. It was contagious. Her instinct may have been right. He’d come looking for her to begin again.
“Yeah, just okay.” She firmed up her courage and said what she really wanted to say. “I lost my heart all those years ago, too, Arran. Nothing’s ever been as good for me as you.”
Holding her breath, she prayed she’d read him right. This could be the time he said, “Oh, I just wanted you to come be my love child’s nanny,” or “Yeah, I was looking for a road tour assistant who sounded like home,” or—
In the blink of an eye, he was across the distance between them, holding her in his arms. She felt dampness on his cheeks. Or was that her own? She didn’t care. She clung to him like he was the last life preserver on the Titanic.
“I can’t believe it,” he whispered, close to her ear. “After all these years, and all these miles, and all those songs…I finally found the one thing I wanted most.”
In the midst of a Cinderella-style bubble, all Leyla could do was agree. “I know.”
“I want you to come home with me.”
Just like that? Really? Drop everything, pack her few belongings, and move across the country to California? To become a farmer’s wife? A nervous giggle escaped from her lips. Much more than a farmer’s wife. Arran was who he was.
Could she do that? Could she just toss aside her life, take the risk? Leyla thought about the heroine of her story. Was this her trip to Alaska on a tramp steamer? Dayla would have taken the chance in a heartbeat. Were they really so different? She didn’t think so.
She let her heart answer for her.
“I’ve waited too long to hear you ask me, love. Let’s go home.”
A word about the author…
Alana Lorens (aka Barbara Mountjoy) has been a published writer for over 35 years, including seven years as a reporter and editor at the South Dade News Leader in Homestead, Florida.
Her list of publications includes the non-fiction book 101 Little Instructions for Surviving Your Divorce, published by Impact Publishers in 1999, stories in A Cup of Comfort for Divorced Women, in December 2008, and A Cup of Comfort for Adoptive Parents, in June 2009.
Her newest release (as Alana Lorens) is CONVICTION OF THE HEART, in the Crimson Rose line from The Wild Rose Press, Inc. Previous books include SECRETS IN THE SAND, in the same line.
Her Clan Elves of the Bitterroot urban fantasy series (as Lyndi Alexander) is available from Dragonfly Publishing; The Elf Queen in 2010 and The Elf Child in March 2011, The Elf Mage in early 2012. The Elf Guardian is scheduled to be released in 2013.
She’s married to an absent-minded computer geek. Between them they have seven children, 11 computers, and a very busy home in northwest Pennsylvania.
Alana blogs on a variety of subjects, including autism, science fiction and life at:
http://awalkabout.wordpress.com.
Or you can find out more about Alana at her webpage:
http://alanalorens.com
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