"Where are you going?” he demanded. “We need to talk about this."
Without turning around, she said, “I have to go home. They're holding a ceremony for all ten grant recipients. It's in D.C. on Saturday, and I have to prepare. I'd hoped you'd attend the event with me, Chase.” She took another step, listening for his voice, but he stayed silent. She walked into the house and stomped up the stairs past his framed platinum and gold records. Past the framed print of his magazine spread. Into their bedroom.
His bedroom.
She stepped into the shower and rinsed her bikini, then shampooed her hair. My God, what happened to the sweet, lonely man she'd fallen for? She had no idea how to approach this facet of his personality, and it scared her a little.
Reno shut off the water, dried off, and wrapped the towel around herself. At the sink, she wrung out her suit and stuck it in a plastic bag. Why did Chase have to be so stubborn? It was only four months, and if he was truly committed to building a relationship, then a short separation shouldn't matter. She walked into the bedroom.
Chase sat slouched on the bed in his red boxer-briefs, his head hanging low, his forearms resting on his thighs, and his hands pressed together between his knees. “Forgive me?” he asked quietly.
Tears formed in her eyes. This man was complex, temperamental, and maddeningly traditional. But he was hers. She walked to him, knelt in front of him, and took his hands.
He wouldn't look into her eyes.
Kissing his palms, she whispered, “You can never do anything that I won't forgive."
He glanced at her, then away. “I don't deserve you."
She stood and dropped her towel, feeling powerful as his eyes roved over her body and lit with desire. “No, you don't deserve me. But God help me, I'm yours anyway, Chase Tanner."
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Chapter Twelve
Saturday night's gala in D.C. was just like every other award ceremony Chase had attended, except here there would be professors and authors instead of singers and actors. He stepped out of the limo in his western-cut tuxedo, spit-polished black boots, and brand new black cowboy hat. Holding his hand out to her, Reno gracefully exited the limo in a long blue dress, little straps held it on her shoulders, and a matching shawl kept her warm when his arm couldn't be around her.
She was a goddess.
The five-star hotel they'd just come from had a salon, and she let them pull her hair up and put makeup on her face while he sat in their room watching basketball. She looked amazing. And she smiled up at him. He was damn lucky she forgave him. Again. What was he going to do without her for four months? Goddamn grant. He looked at the ancient building in front of them. He'd like to tell them where to shove it.
There was no red carpet, no paparazzi, no fans, just a receiving line inside the door made up of snooty old scholars. They greeted Reno with smiles and congratulations, but him, they barely looked at. Was it this cowboy get-up? Or was it the way he kept a possessive hand on Reno at all times. Hell, he was a man, she was his woman. That's what he did.
He checked his hat in the coatroom, and they walked into the party. If you could call it that. A bunch of stuffed tuxedos standing around looking down their noses at him. A four-piece band of violins made dull music in a corner. He grabbed two glasses of champagne and handed her one. He didn't like the stuff, but he didn't see a real bar anywhere.
A dozen people surrounded them, congratulating her, asking about her curriculum.
He stifled a yawn. He was used to being the focus of attention at these types of shindigs. It wasn't any damn fun standing around being ignored.
He finished his champagne and grabbed another one from a passing waiter. This was going to be a long night.
Reno introduced him to people, some she knew, and some she just met. A man jabbered at her about some new kind of teaching theory. She looked interested, but shouldn't she be as bored as he was?
Another bottoms up, and a new glass of champagne. A couple of people in the group must have taken pity on him, because they tried to make conversation. One was a tenured professor at Harvard. His wife was the retired dean of something at Yale. And, bless their hearts, they recognized him.
Laughing, he said, “I think you're the only ones here who do.” He glanced at Reno. “But everyone seems to know my date. Reno Linden."
They both nodded, and the woman said, “She's one of the grant recipients. An amazing talent. Her last book, No Finer Quest was a beautifully written tome."
Shit, he hadn't even read her last book. "Prairie Fire was a good read. Did you catch that one? Or are you waiting for the movie?"
"We stay away from commercial fiction, generally.” The man smiled sympathetically. “And we don't go to the movies or watch television."
"So, how do you know me?” He lifted a brow. “Don't tell me you're members of my fan club."
The woman put her hand over her chest. “Oh, my, no. We've never attended a pop music concert."
Great. They managed to put down Reno's book and him in less than thirty seconds. “Sounds like you two need to get out more.” He grimaced. “Sorry, that didn't come out...” He sure didn't mean to snap at these folks, but they didn't even ask for his autograph “for their daughter” like half the world did.
The man nodded. “Indeed we do.” They excused themselves and fled.
He felt a hand on his arm, squeezing. He turned to look at Reno, her brow furrowed. Had she heard his last comment? Was she ashamed of him?
"Is everything okay, Chase?"
Throwing an arm around her, he pulled her close and bent to kiss her.
She stiffened and pushed back. “Not here."
He glanced around and spotted a few eyes on them. “Why? Don't these snobs kiss?"
"Shh.” She squeezed harder, but a glitter of amusement lit her gaze.
He let her go, and raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry. Didn't mean to embarrass you."
She whispered, “I'm not embarrassed. I want to make sure you're having fun."
"I wouldn't call it fun, exactly.” He grinned at her. “But when I'm with you, wherever we are is the only place I want to be."
She smiled and tipped her head then started to say something, but a man walked up beside her and pulled her into a hug.
Chase's hand came up in a fist and his first response was to yank the guy off her, but he swallowed down the urge.
Then the guy kissed her on the cheek. “Congratulations, Reno. You deserve this."
Chase stepped closer, the three of them forming a tight triangle. He glared at the man. Everything on him, from his perfectly arranged blond hair to his fancy shoes said “stuck-up."
The man glanced at him, did a double-take, then quickly backed off of Reno.
When she turned to look at Chase, her cheeks were red. Huh. This must be the ex-boyfriend. Big important writer.
"Chase, this is Drake Blastad, an old friend. Drake, this is Chase Tanner, my—"
"New friend,” Chase cut in. Drake stood almost as tall as him, but the man was lean. His face was pretty-boy handsome, a look some women went for. But his eyes were cold like a snake.
Drake held out his hand.
Chase grinned and crushed the shit out of the man's soft hand. “Glad to know you.” It was a lie, but they were in one of those social situations that called for untruths.
When he released Drake's hand, Reno said, “Drake was instrumental in my attaining the teaching position."
"Great,” Chase worked to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. “Now I know who to thank.” And had more than one reason to dislike him.
Drake's eyes narrowed and his grin turned cocky. “We discussed it last week when I stopped by her farm for a visit."
Chase snapped his gaze to Reno. She looked guilty.
Chase raised one eyebrow. “You had a visitor?"
Drake's laugh got their attention. “Just one night. We were snowed in and she kicked me out as soon as Cody could plow the driv
e."
Chase stared at Reno. Why hadn't she told him her ex spent the night? They had plenty of talks at the ranch. Did she make a habit of hiding things? Or was she afraid of his reaction?
Her eyes begged for his self-control. Shit. Did she think he'd haul off and slug the guy?
Drake patted Chase's arm. “Nothing to worry about, old boy. Everything's on the up and up."
Chase forced a smile. Where the hell did he get those expressions? He sounded like an old black and white movie. But what did Chase know—maybe this crowd talked like that?
"Drake,” Reno said. “Excuse us a minute, please."
"Of course."
Reno took Chase's arm and herded him away.
In the middle of the room, he stopped and stared down at her. “You had a visitor."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Really, it was nothing.” She gestured to her ex. “He's married, and I'm...” She tightened her grip on his arm, her voice low. “...I'm with you now."
"Are you, Reno?” He looked around at the swanky room, and the swankier people milling around. “Seems like you're a different person tonight."
"No.” She jiggled his arm to get his attention. “Let's take a walk and talk about this."
A gong sounded from another room, and a waiter in a tux with tails announced dinner.
"Too late.” He put her arm through his. Why did he feel so out of place? He knew damn well he was the only one in the room without a college education. But he wasn't used to being ignored so thoroughly. Even by Reno. So busy with her ‘curriculum’ that she didn't have time for him. Shit. Was he sliding off Reno's top ten list already?
She whispered, “It won't be too much longer."
He shrugged. “Yeah. That's what I'm afraid of."
Her brow furrowed. “What does that mean?” Her voice rang loud in the silent room.
Chase glanced around at pairs of shocked eyes on couples waiting for the guests of honor to enter the room first. Damn him, couldn't he at least pretend to have himself under control?
He whispered, “Sorry.” They walked to their seats at the head table and he felt her arm trembling the whole way.
Two hours later, after an hour of the most boring discussions he'd ever not slept through, and another hour of speeches by the nine other people getting grants, Reno got up to accept her plaque and say a few words.
She glowed, standing up there reading her speech, and his chest swelled with pride. She used big words. Lots of them, and he couldn't follow her thoughts. But everyone else seemed to laugh and nod in agreement—in unison. They knew what she was saying, but he didn't really need to fit into this part of her life. He wanted her for something completely different. Wife, mother to his children, running his house, touring with him. She'd still have time to write. Probably. And maybe even teach.
Reno finished her speech, and everyone stood and clapped. She shook hands with a couple of really important people he'd seen on the news. He was proud of her, and he didn't even tell her. Back in Texas, he'd acted like a spoiled kid who didn't get his way.
The party started breaking up, and Reno and a few of the main brains arranged themselves for photos. A couple of guys stood by the door, laughing, and he walked over to join them.
They were talking about a big donation to their college, and at the last minute, Chase tried to veer away, but one of them asked, “Are you here with Ms. Linden?"
"Yes. I'm her date, Chase Tanner."
"Chase Tanner. I thought I recognized you, but I couldn't figure out what you'd be doing here."
Chase shrugged. Truer words had never been spoken. What was he doing here?
The man held out his hand and introduced himself. So did the second guy. They talked for a few minutes, but Chase was sorely in need of a drink. He excused himself and walked toward the room where he'd seen the catering staff setting up. But all the rooms looked the same, and he was going the wrong way. He turned around and headed back where he came from, and stopped when he heard voices around the corner.
"...can't believe Reno Linden is here with a country western singer.” It was the man he'd just been talking with.
The other guy said, “I guess it's true. Opposites attract."
The first guy laughed. “Imagine her tied down to a man like that?"
"We won't expect any more noteworthy literature from her.” The men laughed and changed the subject.
Rounding the corner, he brushed past them, his mind racing around a scarred track. Were they right? Wasn't he good enough for her? Was he destined to ruin her life? He found the lobby and headed toward the door and some fresh air.
Drake came up behind him. “Chase. A moment, please.” He walked to the side.
Chase glanced at the exit, just a few steps away. He could be out and free of this whole cluster fuck in seconds. But curiosity won out over the urge to escape, and he followed Drake into a small room.
The man looked sincere, but Chase didn't trust him.
"I care for Reno,” Drake began. “She is a major talent in the literary world. She deserves a chance to excel, to share her gifts. She has a bright future, you know."
"I realize that, Drake. And I'm guessing you found this teaching job for her in France to get her away from the likes of me."
Drake jerked back as if slugged. “You're perceptive. Yes. Reno earned this opportunity to see what her life could be like.” He made a dismissive gesture. “All this movie making business was quite unsettling to our friends."
"Our friends?"
"Reno and I associate with a certain...quality of people."
"Uh huh,” he growled, squaring his shoulders. “Better than what I am, you mean."
"I wouldn't insult you by saying that. I'm merely pointing out that you and she have different objectives for your lives. And Reno has yet to realize her full potential. Given optimal circumstances, she can achieve a level of prominence that even I could never reach."
"And she can't do that with me, right?"
Drake heaved a dramatic sigh. “You're looking at this as a personal affront. When I sincerely mean it to be a cautionary tale."
Shit. He had no idea what this fancy-boy was talking about. “Yeah, I'll give it my immediate attention.” He saluted and stormed out.
He retrieved his hat from the coat check room and left the building. As he walked out the front door, the valet looked at his hat and asked, “You're in Ms. Linden's limo?"
Yeah. Just along for the ride. Not much good for anything else except hanging on her arm, hauling her down to his level, making her look bad in front of important people. Holding her back from the career she hungered after.
He nodded, and the boy radioed for their limo.
Then it hit him. Her speech, her comfort in this crowd. She talked to these high-and-mighty people like she belonged here. This was the social level she rose up to. And him, shit, he was drowning her, dragging her down.
She was a masters degree, he was a G.E.D. This lifestyle was what she deserved. A future filled with intelligent conversation, educated friends, opportunities to do new things, like teach wherever she wanted to, and learn from the best writers in the world.
What kind of an asshole would hold her back? Chase Tanner, that's who. “Shit.” He was bad for her. A pain shot into his chest. Did she deserve better? Would it be best to let her go?
He looked down the street. It would be easy to disappear. He could leave a note, have the valet give it to her. It was the coward's way, but he never claimed to be a hero.
Quick high-heeled footsteps sounded behind him, and he turned to see Reno's panicked face. When she spotted him, she hurried over. “You disappeared on me."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"What?” She stared at him. “No. What makes you think that?” She looked so perfect tonight, holding her plaque, the proof that she was too smart to get mixed up with a man like him.
Their limo pulled up, he took her arm and guided her to it, helped her inside, and said, “I'm
going to walk."
Slamming the door, he took off.
Behind him, the limo door opened, and Reno's running footsteps tapped behind him. “Chase, wait!"
He walked faster.
"Don't run away from me.” She sounded frustrated. “Not tonight."
Great. Her big night, and he'd screwed everything up.
"Can we talk about this?” But she wasn't running after him anymore. Maybe she'd just let him go.
He kept up the fast pace, putting space between them.
She called, “Walk and clear your head. I'll see you at the hotel."
At the corner, he turned to look at her. One last time. She stood under a streetlight, watching him.
Damn him to hell. He couldn't do anything but hurt her. Lifting a hand, he touched the brim of his hat then walked away. It was the best thing for her. The best thing for him. They came from different worlds, and lived in separate universes.
But he'd always remember her.
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Chapter Thirteen
Three weeks later, Reno finished packing and hauled her suitcase down the stairs to the front door. Her brother and his wife would be looking after her place while she was gone. Of course, she'd endured Cody's “I told you so's” for a week while she fused her phone to her hand waiting for Chase to return her calls.
A week ago, she finally boxed up the suitcase full of clothes he'd left at their hotel room, and shipped it to him. The note she enclosed said, Nothing happened the night Drake stayed at my house. When I confronted him after you walked away, he told me what he said to you. Chase, this is all you need to hear—to hell with the rest of the world. We can make it work. Reno.
No response. She left voice messages, sent texts and e-mails. Via online fan sites, she followed his concert tour. The amateur videos taken by the audience showed a happy, crowd-pleasing Chase. Had he gotten over her already?
Maybe he needed time. His life was busy right now, but when things slowed down, he'd realize how much he missed her. She stared out the window at the bright February-thaw day. Melting snow from the roof dripped off the eaves and pooled in muddy puddles in the yard. She wouldn't be here to see her tulips bloom this spring. She'd be in Paris. As alone and lonely as she'd ever been in her life.
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