I grabbed his shoulder the way guys do and then pushed him back before smiling at the small girl beside him.
“Hey, Monroe.”
“Trevor.” She reached up and kissed me on the cheek. “You look great,” she whispered.
That wasn’t surprising, considering the last time she’d seen me, I’d still been weak and kind of broken. Too skinny and too slow from all the time I’d been in a coma. It had been a tough haul, getting my muscle memory back.
Nathan was quiet for a few moments, and I saw Monroe squeeze his hand. Something flickered in the depths of his eyes, and I knew he was thinking back to another party. Back to another night when our world had exploded into shattering glass, twisted metal, and for me, scrambled brains.
“Trev, I’ve only got tonight, man. Tomorrow we’re with my family and then Monday we’re heading back to New York. You gotta come. It will be like old times. The whole gang back together.”
“Hey!” Monroe punched him in the shoulder, a big smile on her face. “What about me?”
He laughed and kissed her. “New friends too.”
They looked like they had the world by the balls, and watching them, I realized that for the first time ever, I was jealous of my buddy.
Jealousy didn’t taste so good.
“New York looks good on you,” I managed to say.
Nate grinned. “It’s so much better than we even thought it could be. Dude, I busked in Times Square last week. Times Square! The vibe, the scene…it’s what we thought it would be but way better.” He slapped me on the shoulder. “When you finally get your ass out there, you’ll see. We’re going to rule, man.”
I nodded, tried to smile even, but it was hard to ramp up my enthusiasm level when I had no idea if my head was going to explode.
“Are you okay?” Monroe asked softly, her hand on my arm.
I hadn’t told Nate about my seizure and instructed Link not to say anything either. I was still dealing with what it meant, what it could mean, and I didn’t want to deal with Nate’s guilt too.
I knew he felt it.
I knew he felt it twist like a knife, but I was exhausted enough, and taking on the burden of his guilt would probably send me over the cliff I’d been straddling for days now.
“I’m good,” I replied, fake smile pasted to my face.
“So are you coming or what?” Nate asked.
I glanced toward my sister. She was watching some stupid bachelorette show, the volume level was at eardrum-damage, and her everybody-hates-me scowl was getting old.
“What’s up with Taylor?” Nate asked.
“Grounded.”
“What did she do?”
“Nothing that Trevor hasn’t done before,” she shouted from the family room. Man, my sister had some ears on her.
Taylor pretty much made my decision. “Let me grab my cell.”
The ride out to the bush party didn’t take long. We lived in the middle of nowhere, yes, but bush parties always took place in the forest behind the old abandoned drive-in on the edge of town. The cops usually knew what was up and kept an eye out, but unless things got out of control, they left us alone. Wasn’t like there was anything else to do.
By the time we got there, it was dark and the glow off the tops of the trees could be seen from the road. That meant some kind of bonfire.
“Lots of cars,” I said as we pulled up beside a beat-up and rusted Chevy. I recognized it as belonging to Brent, our old bass player. A year older than us, he’d already graduated and surprised the hell out of everyone when he up and joined the army. I hadn’t seen him in ages.
“He’s on leave,” Nate said as we piled out of his car. “And he’s gonna be stoked that you came out.”
I was happy to see the guys. It was the other stuff that I was concerned about. Already stressed, I worried that my words would come out wrong or even worse, there would be whispers behind my back about the seizure.
I had no idea who knew and who didn’t other than Link. What if I had another one? That thought made me sick, and I tried to ignore how my stomach was all twisted, but it was damn hard.
“Come on. There’s Brent.” Nate nudged me.
I could leave right now. I know Nate would take me home if I asked him to, and he wouldn’t ask questions either. But that sucked almost as much as being here and being afraid.
“You coming?” he asked.
I glanced toward the bonfire and immediately caught sight of Brent. He was waving his arms in the air like Superman, and I could see his grin from here. I couldn’t chicken out, not now. I needed to man up and just deal.
I put my game face on and followed Nate toward the bonfire.
The night was warm and pretty muggy, but it was the kind of night that I loved. The sky was bright, lit to the heavens with stars, and the air felt alive, full of possibilities.
It took a while, but eventually I relaxed a bit, mostly because Nate, Brent, and I were treated like gold. Everyone was in a good mood and the atmosphere was chill. One of the guys on the football team had speakers set up on the back of his truck, and an odd mixture of country and rock filled the air. This was my scene, and it had been too long.
Jackson Byers, a guy from school, had the balls to ask me about what had happened at the library. Said he’d heard that I’d been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I told him it was an exaggeration. He didn’t give up.
“But dude, an ambulance?”
“Do I look like there’s something wrong with me?” I stared him down, flexing my fists as I did so.
“Nah. You look as badass as ever.”
Someone offered me a beer, but I shook my head, and after it happened the second time, I grabbed a can so I could have something to hold and ward off any more offers.
I was getting into some vintage Green Day—“Jesus of Suburbia” is epic—when someone nudged my hip and two warm arms slid around me from behind. My first thought was Everly, which was crazy. The girl had pretty much blown me off today. Whoever it was giggled and stumbled into me, obviously loaded.
“I’ve mad at chu.”
Ah. Jess.
She circled around so that she was in front of me, though her arms were still wrapped around my waist. “I’ve been texting you all week about this party.”
Any other time, I would have been all over this. Jess was cute, nice, and obviously ready to party. But these days, Everly Jenkins was the only girl I was interested in, and even though I wasn’t sure she was interested back, I wasn’t going to take what Jess was offering.
I wasn’t that guy anymore, which maybe should have surprised me. I’m damn sure it would have surprised half the guys I knew. I was single, so it’s not like I was cheating on anyone. And let’s be serious. Guys our age think about sex all the time, and to say otherwise is an outright lie.
But Jess wasn’t Everly. End of story.
“Sorry, been busy.”
She pouted, hands falling to my hips, which was awkward because now parts of us that shouldn’t be touching were touching.
“Whoa,” I said, trying to disengage, but the girl had talons for fingers and she was dug in but good.
“I’m glad you came,” she said, talking real slow, drawing out each syllable in what I called alcohol speak.
I looked around. Where the hell was everyone? I spotted Nate by the fire, picking up an acoustic and strumming a few chords for his girl. Brent was close by, chatting up the Murdock twins, which wasn’t surprising. Other than Caleb Martin, Brent was the biggest player this side of the Mason-Dixon line.
And Link…
My stomach did that weird tumble again, and I carefully picked Jess’s claws from my hips as I stared across the clearing. Link sat on a log beside the fire with Hailey on his lap, and a few feet from them was Everly.
She was nodding to the guy beside h
er, and he was leaning down, so close that I didn’t have to see his face to know exactly what he was thinking. And it wasn’t how awesome she smelled, though I’m sure he’d noticed that. It wasn’t how nice her hair looked either or how shiny her eyes were.
The guy was looking to score, and who could blame him?
His hand was at the small of her back, and from my vantage point, I saw a whole lot of skin on display. Soft skin. Soft skin that he shouldn’t be touching. I wanted to smash my fist into his face. Total Neanderthal move on my part, but there you have it. At the moment it appeared that I was a knucklehead.
“Trevor, hello! I’m right here.”
I pulled back from Jess and finally got her hands off me. “Look, Jess, I’m sorry. This…us…it’s not gonna happen.”
She followed my gaze and glanced over her shoulder. “Everly Jenkins? Really? I heard she’s got her V pin stuck to her chest like glue.”
But I was already walking toward the one girl who mattered. The one girl who’d given me nothing but attitude today. The one girl I wanted to touch and kiss and throw my arms around.
She was the only girl I wanted, and I frowned as the guy beside her straightened and looked up, right at me before he offered his hand and Everly took it.
Caleb Martin. Damn.
They headed into the night.
“No effing way,” I muttered, dodging a tackle from one of my old teammates.
“Where you going?” Nate asked, holding up his guitar. “Let’s jam.”
“Can’t.”
Caleb Martin didn’t belong anywhere near Everly Jenkins, and I had no problem letting him know it. Some might argue that because I hadn’t come to the party with Everly, I had no right to get up in her business. Maybe I didn’t, but I was pretty sure about one thing.
I wasn’t leaving without her. She just didn’t know it yet.
Chapter Twelve
Everly
I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach, but that was pretty hard to do considering my heart was beating so fast I thought that I was going to pass out.
Caleb Martin was going on and on and on about his daddy’s cottage and a lake and a boat and a Fourth of July party.
What. Ever. God, he liked to listen to himself talk. And Hailey wasn’t any better. She was sitting in Link’s lap, listening to whatever was on his mind as if he was Jesus giving a sermon. I had to admit that they looked cute together, but still…she should be paying attention to what was going on with me. At least a little bit.
Because what was going on with me was pretty pathetic. I didn’t know how to act like I didn’t care that Drive-In Girl was practically mauling Trevor, so I prayed that no one would notice.
Not that anyone other than Caleb was paying attention to me. I felt like I was in sixth grade all over again. Playing with the big boys and having no clue.
I exhaled. Good. Breathe. You can do this.
I nodded when Caleb asked me if I liked to water-ski. Um, no, but it seemed easier to just agree with whatever he was saying. He’d been pretty much glued to my side since we arrived nearly half an hour ago. Which was weird. It’s not as if we ran in the same social circles, but then, I guess I presented a bit of a challenge. I knew what some of the guys in town thought of me, and I knew that they considered “nailing the pastor’s daughter” as some sort of win.
Whatever. It used to bother me, but now it seemed so immature and silly, considering all the other stuff going on in my life.
The bonfire glowed red, and I stared into the flames because I didn’t know where else to look. Why had I agreed to come to this party?
Oh. Right. Because Hailey convinced me that I needed to. You know, because it was going to be fun. A blast. A totally epic party, I think she’d said, adding that as a bonus, I could show Trevor Lewis what he was missing.
I’d told her I didn’t care what Trevor Lewis thought.
She rolled her eyes and grabbed a skimpy top from her closet.
Her enthusiasm, coupled with the fact that my parents were home but not speaking to each other, made my decision way easier than I would have liked. So I let Hailey dress me up and do my makeup. The end result was that I looked a little on the trashy side and felt a whole lot uncomfortable.
“Do you want to walk a bit?”
Hailey and Link’s lips were locked together. “Sure,” I found myself saying. It’s not like I was going to be missed here anyway. I felt like an idiot nursing a red Solo cup of Jack and Coke, and I don’t care what Hailey said—it was just as gross cold as it was warm.
Caleb grabbed my hand, and we trudged in the opposite direction of Trevor and Drive-In Girl. We walked past a couple who were half undressed and pushed up against a tree and another couple whose moans made them sound like a bunch of wild animals caught in a trap. Seriously? Pride, people.
It didn’t take long for the forest at the edge of the clearing to swallow us up.
“This is much better,” Caleb said.
I wasn’t exactly sure that this was, but so far, other than having an extremely high opinion of himself and his father’s money, he seemed harmless.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you at one of these bashes before.” His hand was still on mine.
“Jason wasn’t exactly a party animal.”
Ha. That was an exaggeration. Jason had been into Star Trek, The Big Bang Theory, and books. Three things that had been totally fine with me. We’d sort of gotten into some heavy-duty touching and exploring one night after a movie, but I’d been kind of freaked out by my lack of wanting him to touch me, and I don’t think I’d hidden it very well.
I guess it says something about our relationship that we continued to date for nearly a year after that, and though he tried for more than a kiss a few times, we’d never progressed to anything beyond that.
“Your ex?”
I nodded.
Caleb’s grin widened, and he reached for the Solo cup in my hand. “You’re not liking this?”
I wrinkled my nose. “It’s awful.”
He tossed the cup, both of his hands suddenly on my arms. “So, you’re like a party virgin.”
“Um, I guess.” He said virgin in a way that made me uncomfortable.
His breathing was different, and he leaned closer. “That’s freaking hot.” I could smell cigarettes and the sweet scent of whiskey.
“Caleb, maybe we should get back to the party.”
“Sure, babe.”
Babe? Babe?
“Are you for real?” I asked, trying to yank my arms from his grasp. “Guys still say babe?”
“Calm down,” he said with a smile, and suddenly I knew exactly how he got girls to give him what he wanted. The guy had a great smile. I’d give him that, but his smile wasn’t the one I wanted for myself. “Sorry.” He murmured. “Got it. Mental note. Everly Jenkins does not like the word babe.” He paused. “But maybe she likes a kiss?”
“Not gonna happen.” Was there something wrong with me? Had I been sending out mixed signals and didn’t know it?
“Everly likes to play hard to get. I’m cool with that. I’ll take you out in my father’s boat on Monday. You’ll see. I know how to show a girl a good time.”
Oh. My. God. This guy didn’t get it.
“She can’t,” Trevor said, startling both of us, and I took the chance to yank my arms from Caleb.
Trevor stood about a foot away, alone and looking more adorable than he had a right to. He wore boots, jeans that fit him way too nicely, and a plain black V-neck T-shirt that showed off his chest, biceps, and abs. How that was possible, I don’t know, but there you have it.
His hair waved to the tops of his shoulders, his eyes glittered, and there was a dusting of stubble on his chin. Like I said, adorable. And sexy.
And I didn’t care because he was here with Drive-In Girl.
“Dude, who the hell asked you? Uh, the party is that way.” Caleb had a smile on his face but his voice wasn’t exactly sunshine. He squared his shoulders and faced Trevor, who kind of did the same thing. Total macho posturing, but it made me realize that they were sort of squaring off because of me.
For some reason I was kind of okay with that.
“Everly and I have a date on Monday,” Trevor said softly.
Caleb’s eyebrows shot up. “A date?”
That particular bit of info was news to me too.
“You guys are together?” Caleb asked, his eyes on me and his expression more than a little pissed off.
“No,” I said.
“Yes.” That was from Trevor.
“You could have said something.” That was for me. “Dude, I didn’t mean to chat up your girl. I had no idea you guys were hooking up.” That was for Trevor.
“Oh my God, we’re not hooking up.”
Okay, so I shouted. And maybe half the kids at the party might have heard me. Whatever. My top was way too skimpy, my jeans on the low side of low rise, and the flats I wore pinched my toes. They belonged to Hales, so it wasn’t surprising. I’d worn them because she’d insisted the sparkles would look great with my barely there top.
Most important, the guy I liked had been sucking face with Drive-In Girl, or at the very least, I’d watched her grind up against him.
“Everly,” Trevor said. “Can we talk?”
I could have done one of two things at this point.
Who was I kidding? I was never going to do the second one.
“Sure,” I said sharply.
Caleb muttered a bunch of stuff, and I’m sure none of it was nice, but neither Trevor nor I was paying any attention to him. He took off, and then Trevor and I were alone with only the echoes of the party and the flickering fireflies among the trees.
It was warm—June usually was—and the air was heavy. I closed my eyes and dragged in great big gulps of it, trying to calm my butterfly-infested stomach.
“Everly.”
He was close. So close.
Slowly, my eyes opened and, well, wouldn’t you know…that big old lump of something was back clogging my throat. I couldn’t swallow. Couldn’t speak. I couldn’t do anything but look up into the face of the most beautiful guy I’d ever seen.
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