by Thessa Lim
Laine placed a hand on Anne’s shoulders. “I hate to say it, but you guys looked great together.” She sighed.
Jazmine watched from over Anne’s other shoulder. Zara stepped away and sat on the bed.
This time, Anne selected the Videos folder.
“Hey, that’s the two of you at the beach yesterday,” Laine pointed out and peered closer at the thumbnails.
When Anne scrolled down the folder, Laine squealed and took a step back. “Anne Tioleco!” Her hands flew to her mouth. “Is that Daniel? Naked?”
Jazmine’s eyes widened, and she took a closer look. “Yep. And that’s Anne naked too.” She held up her hands in front of her and headed for the bed. “Okay. This, I don’t want to see.”
Laine scurried away too, while Anne scrolled farther down the folder. She searched for that first video she and Daniel had ever taken. He had taken her to Café Havana one night, on the first month they dated. They had taken a video of themselves dancing together and made faces at the phone. She sniffled. She selected the rest of the videos and deleted them, but she saved her favorite one for him.
Oh God. Here come the waterworks again.
From the corner of her eyes, she saw her friends throw her worried looks.
As she shut the laptop down, her eyes landed on the topmost side drawer of the desk. It was partially opened, and she could see a black pouch inside. She sucked in a breath and nervously reached for it. In the pouch were two familiar black boxes. She opened the one with her name on it, and her whole body froze when she saw the two rings inside. She could not breathe just then.
When she and Daniel went to a jewelry shop the previous week to search for their wedding bands, it had been easy to select the ring for Daniel, but there were too many options for Anne. Finally, they shortlisted two choices: a three-tone gold ring set with diamonds all around, which Daniel favored the most, and a pink gold ring set with three diamonds, which Anne liked the best. In the end, she had given in because he insisted on getting the more expensive one for his bride-to-be. Little did she know that he bought both rings.
“Anne, are you okay? What did you find?” Jazmine asked.
Anne remained on the chair as she marveled at the rings.
“Anne, what did you find?” Laine pried.
Zara cursed when she saw what was in Anne’s hands. Laine and Jazmine grabbed each other’s hand as they braced themselves for Anne to break down again.
“He bought two rings for me,” Anne whispered, more to herself than to the others.
Zara sat down beside her and peered closer. The rings were beautiful, but she did not dare say it. She slid her arm around Anne’s shoulders.
“He loved you,” Zara said matter-of-factly.
“I suppose . . . ,” Anne breathed.
“He didn’t mean to hurt you, Anne.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“Sometimes, the past just catches up with us.” Zara squeezed her shoulders and let go, afraid to set off her emotions.
But then Anne held on to Zara and sobbed. The girls frowned, but they were relieved her sobs seemed less anguished.
After she put the rings back in the drawer, Anne asked, “Can we go now?”
It took her a while to regain her composure again, but now she wanted to leave more than anything else. The place was a stark reminder of what could have been.
Her three friends nodded but said nothing.
“I need some whisky,” Anne grumbled as she pulled down her sunglasses to cover her bloodshot eyes. “Can we go diving tomorrow? Maybe that will make this trip worthwhile.”
All the girls soundly said yes.
“Hold on,” Jazmine called out.
Jazmine wrapped her arms around Anne and Laine, pulling them in for a huddle. Zara joined them, pressing her forehead against Jazmine’s. Anne laid her head on Jazmine’s shoulder, and Laine leaned against Zara.
“This isn’t the end of us. Our falls don’t define us. We are strong because we have each other,” Jazmine declared.
They took deep breaths together.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
What Lies Ahead
That night, the girls and Matt hit a lounge bar on the beach. Plush beanbags and low tables were scattered about the sand in front of the bar. An acoustic band played chill and reggae songs. Before Zara could sit down on one of the beanbags, Matt tugged her by the hand.
“Let’s dance.” He motioned his head to the spot below the platform, where a few people swayed to the beat and waved their hands in the air.
“What? No, I’ve never danced here before.”
“It’s going to be fine.”
He tugged at her again, this time gripping her wrist. As he pulled her, she glanced back at her friends with a defeated look on her face. They grinned at her like Cheshire cats.
When they had joined the crowd, Matt danced, mimicking the dorky dance moves of Jean-Claude van Damme in Kickboxer.
Zara doubled over in laughter, almost snorting. She grabbed his arms and tried to keep them down. “Stop it! Stop it!”
He chuckled and swayed to the beat, motioning her to dance too. “Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”
She shook her head and laughed. “No, I’m embarrassed by your dancing.” She looked him in the eyes. “I don’t think anybody could be embarrassed to be . . . seen with you . . .” She cleared her throat and asked, trying for light conversation, “What kind of music does your band play?”
Matt slid his arms around her waist and moved her close to him. She shivered. She loved being in the arms of a man she admired in the workplace and outside of it. That he had a handsome face and smiling eyes, a boyish kind of look, with a lean, muscled body to match, was the irresistible icing on the cake.
“Rock,” he answered. “Mostly ballads.”
“How come I’ve never heard that about you?”
“Well, I only invite the guys from work to come watch a gig. They usually don’t rat me out.”
“You’ve heard me sing before. You should sing to me sometime so that we’re even,” she teased.
Matt brought his lips to her ear and began to sing alongside the band’s vocalist. “Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind? How could I have ever been so blind?”
His singing voice was deeper and smoother than his usual. It was all that she could hear amid the crowd; it weighed her down, made her melt, made her want to wrap her arms around his neck and run her fingers through his hair. Her heart began to beat faster. His breath on her ear was bringing her closer to her wits’ end.
Suddenly Matt leaned in and gave her a kiss on the lips. He felt Zara freeze in his arms. He pulled his head back and cursed.
“Sorry about that.”
She relaxed and smiled. He held her closer and tried for another kiss, but she pulled back.
“Matt, I like you, but I’ve just been out of a rela—,” she murmured.
“I know. I heard.” He shook his head, cursing the island for making him want her even more than he did when they were in Manila.
“A-at the same time, I’m scared . . . but I like you.” She looked up at him with doe-like eyes, searching his for any signs of insincerity.
He smiled, pleased. “That’s definitely better than you saying you have a rule against getting involved with people at work.”
“Actually, I do have that rule.” She chuckled. “Which I just conveniently forgot about . . .”
“I’m not rushing anything. I just . . . I think about you all the time. You keep distracting me when I’m working . . .” He chuckled.
She grinned, nodded, and took a deep breath. She grabbed the chance to brush her fingers across his cheek. She had wanted to do that since they had their first cup of coffee together.
He’ll drop me once he finds out I’m a bit neurotic. Shoot, shoot, shoot.
Before he could smile down at her, she tiptoed to kiss him on the lips. After savoring the feel of his lips on hers, she turned around and tugged him awa
y from the crowd.
“Come, let’s go back to my friends before I break any more of my rules.”
Anne was on her third glass of whisky now, not counting those she had in the afternoon. She wanted to get wasted, to forget about the heartbreak and the humiliation. When she felt her mind drift, she went to the lounge chair beside Laine’s beanbag and lay down. Whisky was her lover for the night.
Laine’s mobile suddenly beeped as she took a big gulp from her coconut milkshake.
Her heart sank. It was the closest she had ever been to falling in love. She supposed some things were just not meant for her. She was meant to trudge through life with her girlfriends, social work, and conservation outreaches. She shivered when she remembered the dream she had the other night. In it, Tony had surprised her at Boracay and wooed her. He told her he would not stop pursuing her until she agrees to have him. She sighed ruefully as she recalled his kisses, his embrace . . . She probably had to do more than save a dugong to get her romantic happily ever after.
Jazmine glanced at her watch a tenth time. She wanted to be the one to put Liam to sleep this night. She worried that he might look for her and get upset when he finds she is not around. Her mind battled between being there for Anne, who was starting to snooze away at the lounge chair, and being there for her son.
Hypothetically, Anne should be asleep in ten minutes. Liam would want to fall asleep in twenty minutes. That gives me enough time to walk back to the resort after Anne falls asleep.
She checked every few minutes if Anne had already dozed off. Her friends meant the world to her, even more now than before, but her son meant the universe.
Zara glanced at her friends. How was it that when their hearts were breaking, hers was being kindled yet again? She looked at the man sharing a couple’s beanbag with her as he nodded his head to the band’s music. His one hand tapped his knee to the beat while the other held hers. By his grip, it seemed that he would not let her go, at least for the evening. She smiled and dared to lean her head on his shoulder. He halted the tapping and then slipped his arm around her shoulders. She leaned back, tucked her legs under her knees, and stared out at the sea ahead, upon which the full moon’s light danced.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Girlfriends Make It All Good
“Great morning!” Laine beamed at the sea around them.
The four of them boarded the diving boat that afternoon, along with another party of four people, and now headed for the second dive site. Diving was the one thing Laine did that was thrilling and was probably even a little scary. It was an indulgence, but she felt it was honorable to love the sea. When she met new people and had to make small talk, chatting about diving often intrigued them about her.
Anne groaned. It was her idea to go diving today, but instead of being the one to steer her friends into the fun, she was the last one to get out of bed and grumbled all throughout breakfast, lunch, and the trip. She had busted her butt to leave her hotel room though because it was their last day in Boracay. She was just grateful she had fallen asleep on the beanbag the other night, before she could drink herself to a morning hangover.
Jazmine yawned and stretched on the stern of the boat. Liam had woken up at five o’clock that morning, and by the time he fell back to sleep, she was too wide awake to sleep again. She was not a certified diver like the other girls, and she was only there that afternoon for the boat ride. She put on her sunglasses, thinking she could get some shut-eye when the girls were back in the water. Or maybe she could just read a few pages of the romance book she had tucked away in her beach bag. When Braden left her, she had vowed off romance, but now she does not want to give up on it. Not yet. She would give it another chance, but maybe just one more.
Zara grumbled when she could not find her sunglasses in her beach bag. She must have left it at her room. She had tossed and turned in her bed most of the previous night because Matt kept assaulting her thoughts. It seemed early for her to consider dating again.
And somebody from the office! But he is somebody . . . awesome in the office. And outside it . . . Argh, no!
Every time she thought about him, she ended up with a stupid grin on her face. She would then shake her head, trying to push thoughts of him away, but the man just would not leave her mind! It took a lot of effort from her this morning not to invite him to go diving with them, but she did not want to put Anne off by letting a guy tag along. The diving party was still pretty antitestosterone this morning.
“Okay, we’re here!” Timmy, the dive guide, motioned the boatman to slow down the boat.
They were about a hundred meters away from the nearest island. The guide showed them a map of the area and talked about the route they would take and what they might see there. The entire party except Jazmine hung on to his every word, hoping he would mention an underwater marvel they had not seen before.
When the guide dropped into the water, all geared up, the rest of the group followed suit. Jazmine waved at her friends before they descended. Then she lay down on the boat and dozed off.
The divers drifted with little effort underwater and could see sixty meters ahead. Laine and Zara buddied up, while Anne partnered with the guide. The other party broke up into pairs. Laine, Zara, and Anne were all experienced divers though, so the guide left the three of them to loiter around, only tapping on his tank to call them when it was time to move on.
They arrived at the highlight of the dive site, which was a huge reef that was home to families and families of corals, hard and soft alike, and anemones. Laine spotted a bunch of tube corals that housed batfishes inside them. She gestured for Anne and Zara to take a look. Zara spotted a hole with a lobster inside. She extended her dive stick near it, and it snapped its larger pincer at the stick, sending a strong vibration through her hand.
After seeing what the other girls had spotted, Anne ventured toward the top of the reef. She was rewarded for getting out of bed that day. From the top, one had a good view of the twenty-meter-long reef and the vivid colors that emblazoned it. Groups of fishes moved about together on top of the corals left and right. Half-meter-long lionfishes lurked close to the reef. Hard corals sprang their bodies outward into the water. Sea fans danced to the current of the sea. After taking in the sight, she looked about her and found nudibranchs, decked in different neon colors, on a brain coral. She reached out to lay one of them on her palm.
Velvety and squishy.
When she reached the end of the reef, there was nothing beyond it but a wide stretch of sand. As she hovered in the water, a shadow—probably that of a cloud or a boat—passed overhead, and the area dimmed. And suddenly her mind emptied, and emotions seeped in.
All this, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve just been dumped. At my wedding.
Her face scrunched up. She closed her eyes as they watered. Her breathing quickened through the regulator.
Suddenly somebody held her by the shoulder. It was Zara. Zara peered at her and then frowned. Zara motioned to someone behind them. After a while, Laine joined her two friends.
Laine gestured to Anne, “You, ascend?”
Anne hesitated and then nodded. Laine raised a palm, signaling them to wait. She swam toward Timmy, who was checking the air supply of the other divers. She indicated to him that they wanted to exit the water. Timmy pulled out his map and showed her where they were.
After a minute, he led the three ladies to a spot near the reef. He took out a diver-down flag from his pack, filled it with air, and let the marker surface first. Laine then motioned to Zara and Anne. They followed her lead, advancing up the water. The three girls surfaced. Then Laine pulled out the whistle from her pocket and began to blow hard on it, hoping that the boatman would hear her.
It was not until after a minute more that they heard the sound of a motorboat. It was heading in their direction!
“What happened?” Jazmine asked them when the boat stopped. “I’ve just slept for ten minutes. And why are you all the way over here?”
/> Anne sniffed, pulling her body up the side ladder. She plopped herself on the bench.
“We just got tired,” Laine explained, stowing their gears away.
Zara threw Jazmine a warning glance, dipping her head in Anne’s direction.
“This weekend is a disaster!” Anne groaned. She peeled her wetsuit from her upper body, leaned back, and covered her face with her palms.
Zara sat down beside Anne and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“It was. It really, really sucked,” Zara agreed.
Anne managed to blurt out, “Thanks for pulling out the water with me though.”
“If you’d gone by yourself, you’d have made all the fish cry,” Laine teased.
Anne chuckled as she wiped the back of her hand over her eyes. Jazmine giggled and settled down on the other side of Anne.
“We’d never leave you,” Zara vowed.
Suddenly, with an impish smile on her face, Laine jumped up and belted out a song. “I’m . . . I’m so in love with you.” She wiggled a finger at Anne, trying to remember the silly wedding dance for Daniel.
“Whatever you want to do,” Zara joined in, swaying her hips.
“Is all right with me,” Jazmine sang along, raising her hand high over her head and shimmying.
“’Cause you make me feel so brand-new!” the three girls shouted and danced in front of Anne, daring her to join them in song. “And I want to spend my life with you!”
A smile tugged at Anne’s lips. Finally, she stood up and, without saying a word, wrapped her arms around her friends. She wanted to cry, she did. But at least she had them to hold on to.
The boat drowned out their singing, but with their heads and hearts together, they only heard each other and the promise of a friendship that would last.