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Alex sat on a tree swing lost in thought. She couldn’t bear to go into the house so soon after Mr. Peterson’s death. She was thinking about his sons and wondering if they were feeling like she was. Wondering if their parents were okay and trying to get home to them. What if strangers had had to bury her parents? The not knowing was the worst feeling Alex had ever known. Hearing Josh curse loudly brought her out of her gloomy thoughts and she saw the boys were still working on the engine of the old camper. Dara came out of the house and headed her way. She settled on the grass close by but didn’t say anything. After a few minutes, she began talking.
“I believe that there is a reason for everything. I believe there is more than just our existence, our everyday life. I don’t know if it’s God or Fate or even Mother Earth, but I believe there is something that plays its hand in what we do and the choices we make. This morning, we were headed to the desert and possibly our deaths. Something told you to turn the other way, something that will now change our odds of getting home. That man woke up and saw nothing but kindness in your face and he returned it. Take that gift and honour it, use it and repay it when you can. Let’s go home, Alex.” With that, she got up and walked away.
Alex looked over at the fresh grave where the dog still lay. She was saddened that she didn’t even know its name. She thought about Dara’s words and resolved to keep looking forward to the way home. She gave a huge push to the swing and pumped her legs to get higher, finally doing a flying dismount and used the momentum to keep going.
She was almost at the old camper when she heard its engine turn over. The boys gave a huge cheer and Alex couldn’t contain the grin on her face. Two vehicles to get them home meant double the chance of making it.
“Josh, you’re amazing!” she congratulated him.
“No problem. I just had to rework some stuff and presto! Wheels!” he said modestly. “This is going to be great. We can fill the holding tanks with water so we don’t have to lug the jugs around and we should have a working propane stove and fridge. No more roughing it for us. This old girl sleeps six, so we won’t have to sleep on the ground.”
Quinn was beaming. “This is going to make all the difference. We won’t be killing ourselves everyday biking and we can carry more supplies. With all the wrecked cars on the roads, we can get all the gas we need. Even if we have to leave one, we will still have another to keep going in. We just cut the time it’ll take us to get home by weeks,” he said excitedly with a big smile.
Alex had never seen him so excited. She wondered how hard the disaster must have been weighing on him. She and Josh had both vented some of the pressure but so far the others had kept it together.
“We should stay here for today and sort out supplies and load everything up. I want to strap the bikes onto the roof just in case and we have other things to do that will take a while. Let’s just stay here and work at it, then leave first thing tomorrow,” Quinn suggested.
Everyone agreed, so Alex headed to the house to help Dara sort out supplies and fill her in. The house was heating up as the day progressed, so Alex went around opening all the windows to air it out. Hearing noises from the basement, she headed down looking for Dara.
The basement was cooler than the upstairs and very dim. She could see light off at the end so she made her way around the outline of a coffee table, passing a TV and an armchair. Just as she was going to pass into the next room, something caught her eye. Moving closer to try and make it out in the dim light, she realized what it was. A gun safe was against one wall and it was the same type that her dad kept his hunting rifles in. Reminding herself to look for keys to it later, she turned to go into the next room when she heard a soft sob. Freezing at the sound, she could make out Dara’s quiet crying in the next room. Debating on giving her privacy, Alex remembered Dara holding her hand in a dark hotel room and entered the room. A lantern burned in the center of the room, illuminating a storage area with metal shelves filled with canning jars and dried goods. Dara was sitting on the floor with her knees up against her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. She was crying softly and rocking back and forth.
Alex walked up behind her, kneeled down and wrapped her arms around her. At first, Dara stiffened but then collapsed back into Alex’s arms, dissolving into heartbreaking sobs. Alex didn’t say anything, just held the girl and let her cry it out. After a while, she calmed and started to sniff. Alex spotted a case of tissues on the shelf and got up to open the case, passing a box to her. Dara mopped her face, blew her nose and took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Alex. It just overwhelmed me. I can’t stop worrying about Jake. Who’s taking care of Jake?” she finished on a sob.
Alex was confused. She knew Jake was Dara’s little brother. He had been just a toddler when they had moved into town and Alex guessed he was around seven or eight. She was confused because she expected that Dara’s mother would be looking after him.
“I’m sure your mom will take care of him. They’ll be all right,” said Alex, trying to console.
Dara started to laugh and it wasn’t a nice laugh but a bitter one. “My mom? Oh yeah, I’m sure as soon as she sobers up she’ll be the best protector for him,” she said sarcastically. “My mom’s a drunk, Alex, has been since my dad left. I take care of Jake.” She looked down with shame.
“But, but, why didn’t you tell us? We could have helped you. We were your best friends.” Alex said in shock.
Dara shook her head. “At first I was ashamed and didn’t want anyone to know. I thought she would get better. After a while, I was so angry, so mad at the world. I even hated you and Emily because you still had a real family. I was so busy cleaning up my mom’s mess and trying to take care of Jake that I just let everything else go. It was easier if I didn’t have to talk about it so I just stayed away from you guys. The only one I couldn’t shake was Josh. He just kept coming around, sitting with me no matter what I said to him, he always came back. He figured out what was going on with my mom pretty quick.
“You know what, Alex? He never said a word, never asked me about it, never offered advice, nothing. He was just there. Coming over and mowing the lawn, shoveling snow or just hanging out with me and Jake. Do you know it was Josh who taught Jake to ride a bike and to catch a baseball? So if I’m here and Josh is here, who’s taking care of Jake?” she finished in a whisper.
Alex didn’t know what to say. All these years, Dara had been dealing with this situation on her own. She felt very small and shallow. She and Emily had just given up on her and Josh hadn’t. Josh’s outburst the night before came back to her. She had thought he was just blowing off steam but telling Dara he would kill someone to protect her made more sense now. How self-involved and selfish can a person be? Alex was forced to admit she had been oblivious to Dara’s pain for years.
“Dara, I’m so sorry. I was a terrible friend to just let you go like that. I’m sorry I didn’t fight for our friendship,” she said with shame.
“Oh Alex, don’t. I’m just as much to blame. I pushed you guys away instead of telling you what was happening. We were just kids and I didn’t know what to do. It seemed easier to just hide from everyone.” Dara reached out and took Alex’s hand.
“What about your dad? Did he know? Did you tell him?” Alex asked.
With a bitter laugh and shake of her head, Dara told her, “He knows. At first, he took us more often but he got remarried and was busy with his new wife. We still went every other weekend and he would do dad stuff with us, like movies and camping. I loved when he would take us to the firing range. He would introduce us to his work friends and they would all gather around to watch me shoot. It was such a great feeling, an escape from dealing with my mom. Then his new wife, Sandy, had twins and he stopped doing those things with us. Jack was still little so he thought it was neat to have two babies around but as soon as they were over a year old, I was nothing but a babysitter for my dad. The last weekend I spent with th
em was over a year ago and when we got to their house Friday night, dad and my step-mom left for a night out within minutes. The next day they went out shopping and then they brought us home pizza and movies and left for another night out. Sunday morning my dad woke me up and asked me to feed the twins breakfast and when I got mad and told him I felt like I was only there for free babysitting, he said he’d give me some money. After that, I wouldn’t go to his place anymore. He would still take Jack but he started bringing him home earlier and earlier and then he would miss a weekend until he just stopped coming at all.” She paused to take a shaky breath and finished with, “I don’t have a dad.”
Alex didn’t know what to say. She had no idea what Dara’s life had become and was at a loss for words. Dara scrubbed her face with her hands and let out an angry breath. “I should have never come on this trip. I had it all set up so that Jake would be having sleepovers at a couple different friends’ houses. He wouldn’t have to stay at home with our mom. With all of this happening, no one is going to be having sleepovers. He’s only eight and he’s all alone. I’m so selfish. I just wanted one thing for me. One thing that was happy and I could be, be…” Dara trailed off.
“A kid,” Alex finished for her.
“Yeah, a kid, not taking care of Jake, cleaning up my mom or being mad at my dad. Just free for a few days. Free to be a kid, and now because of that selfish decision, my little brother is all alone and in danger,” she said angrily.
“Jake’s fine,” came from the doorway. Both girls looked up, startled to see Josh standing there. “He’s with my dad.”
“What are you talking about, why would he be with your dad?” Dara asked, confused.
Josh entered the room and sat down beside Dara, taking her hand. “Before I left, I told my dad everything about your situation. I asked him to keep an eye on Jake. I also told Jake that if anything happened he was to go to my dad for help. As soon as the lights went out, my dad would have gone and got him. Jake is safe, Dara.”
Dara stared at Josh with open-mouthed astonishment until she could choke out, “Jake’s safe. Thank you, thank you.” And she dissolved into tears of relief. As Josh took her into his arms, Alex slipped out of the room to give them some privacy.
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