His hands found hers near her head, fingers interlacing as he held them reverently. She moaned, breaking the kiss at the intimacy of the gesture. Opening her eyes, she made contact with his. They stared into each other, a connection forming that hadn’t been there prior.
“Aleksandr…” she whispered, thunderstruck at the intensity of the moment.
He responded with a devastating smile as he squeezed her hands. His leisurely thrusting continued and she felt herself losing control. Based on his breathing, she knew he was close as well.
“I’m yours, Belle,” he confessed, vulnerability in his tone.
Her orgasm hit hard at his admission. His torso tightened as his forehead met hers. He continued thrusting, prolonging the sensations, until he found his release as well. They remained in this position, foreheads touching, eyes closed, as they caught their breath.
His words, his caress, the way he moved inside of her, the tenderness; he had made love to her for the first time. There was no denying her feelings for him. She was one hundred percent in love with him.
Chapter Thirty
Belle’s heart pounded in her chest as she rode the elevator to his office, wearing nothing but her undergarments and coat. She couldn’t wait to see his expression; for him to take her from behind, over his desk.
After they had returned to the house the night before from the greenhouse, the shift between them was palpable. She smiled to herself as she recalled the way they had lain over each other, never breaking contact. They made love again after dinner; slowly, passionately, intimately, as if neither could stand to be apart.
Even though the storm lasted throughout the evening, Aleks had gone into the office, leaving her a scorching kiss, promising her more when he got home. She had just gotten out of the shower when Sirena had called to see what they were doing with their day off.
She had laughed upon hearing Aleks had gone into work, knowing his meetings had been cancelled, joking perhaps he was planning a surprise for her.
Two can play that game.
When the doors opened and she stepped into the office, anticipation crawled over her skin. The door was slightly ajar, and she pushed it the rest of the way open to find him sitting at his desk looking out the window. When he looked over at her, confusion masked his face.
“Belle? What are you doing here?”
“I came to apologize for coming in late to work today, Mr. Wolfe,” she started, giving him a sultry smile as she walked into the room. She unlatched the strap of her coat, allowing a glimpse of her exposed skin.
He quickly recognized her game, demeanor changing to amusement.
“And how do you suppose you’re going to gain my forgiveness?” He sat back in his chair, turning it towards her. His legs opened into a wide stance on the ground, body language reading authority.
“Well, I thought about this long and hard…” She opened the coat, bringing it down her shoulders to expose her lingerie underneath. She knew he could see the outline of her nipples through the yellow lace of the bra, her thigh highs and stilettos helping her feel every ounce of the seductress she meant to be. “I figured there are a number of ways to beg your forgiveness.”
His eyes raked her up and down, lust written on his face. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he licked his lips. He rubbed his hand across his mouth and to her surprise, briefly looked at his watch and scowled.
“Belle, it pains me to say this, but I really can’t right now. It’s … it’s just a bad time.” He stood up, a heated look still on his face.
Crushed, she stepped back. He’s pushing me away?
He walked towards her, taking her face in his hands, pulling her close to kiss her. His mouth roamed hotly over hers, his tongue trailing over her lips, her teeth, and her own tongue as it lazily played with her. He pulled her body against his, his erection at her belly. He pulled away to look at her as she spoke.
“Is something the matter?” She couldn’t read his expression, yet he seemed … nervous. After a moment, he smiled again at her.
“No, trust me, I want this … I want you … you have no idea. But I need you to go ho — meet me at home,” he corrected, looking at her breasts. “Don’t change. I look forward to being greeted like this when I get back.”
Confused, she bent down to pick up her coat. As she pulled it over her shoulders, the elevator opened.
Aleks closed his eyes and let out a low curse.
“You’re supposed to be here alone,” she accused, silently praying this wasn’t the reason he wanted her to leave so soon. After yesterday, she swore there was a difference between them. She feared she had misread the whole situation.
“It’s me, babe,” a high-pitched voice called. Belle’s chest tightened.
Aleks looked back at her with an anguished expression. “It’s not…”
She didn’t let him finish. She wrapped her coat around her and marched out of his office and right into the brunette from the penthouse — standing in the lobby.
“Excuse you,” the brunette muttered with the same dismissive glance she had given Belle the first time they met. There would only be one reason she would be here, alone with him, on a snow day. Realization of the situation overwhelmed her, nausea creeping in.
She turned around to look at him, her voice barely working. “It’s just a bad time?” Belle repeated his earlier statement, now knowing why he showed apprehension and wanted her to leave the office. Tears welled in her eyes.
The woman looked up at Aleks and smiled, her voice cutting in, a mix of anger and surprise. “Aleksandr, you know I don’t do threesomes.”
His face dropped as he looked between them both, “Belle, it’s not what you think, she—” he looked up at the woman, not finishing his thought.
Belle couldn’t handle any more, she pushed past the woman towards the elevator. Her insides churned as she shook with rage and anxiety.
She heard him behind her before she felt his arm on hers. She turned with fury in her voice. “Don’t touch me! Don’t you fucking touch me!”
“Belle, listen to me for a moment, please.”
“Is this why I was never allowed back at work? So you could sleep with whomever you wanted here?” Tears pooled in her eyes, yet she refused to allow them to fall. She turned her head, unable to look at him. She could physically feel her heart breaking, bile rising up her throat.
“No, I swear to you—” He tried to turn her, but she pulled away.
“You have company.” She stepped into the elevator.
Aleks held onto the sides, not allowing the doors to shut, keeping her in front of him. “Please, listen.” He took a step towards her.
“Don’t come near me.” Here was proof, right in front of her eyes, he hadn’t changed at all. She imagined desperation on his face, anxiety in his voice, as he stood in front of her, yet she refused to believe the lie any longer. She felt her body shake with anger.
She clenched her jaw to prevent the onslaught of tears. The woman’s voice called from behind her, “I’ll wait in here while you let her out.”
She had fallen for him — hook, line, and sinker. She gave everything to him and thought he had done the same. She fell in love with him and all he had done was lie to her. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I knew this would happen.
“Please, Belle. Don’t leave me.”
She shook her head to cut him off. He looked at her, dejected.
“Let me go.” She choked back a sob at the double meaning of her words.
He looked at her as if debating what to do. After a few moments, he moved his hand and the doors closed between them.
Aleks stood dumbfounded, heart heavy in his chest knowing what she must be thinking. Allowing her to leave was one of the most difficult things he had ever done.
He turned back, angered at Tiffany’s demeanor. He should have told Belle the truth the night of the ball. But he hadn’t wanted to ruin his surprise. Always screwing up.
He couldn’t imag
ine Belle would believe Tiffany was here for an innocent reason, and if he were being honest with himself, he wouldn’t have believed it if he were in her shoes. She was right — he kept giving her reasons not to trust him, even though it wasn’t his intention.
He walked back to his office where Tiffany waited. She sat on his desk, a sultry smile on her face. When he neared, she jumped down and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Well, now she’s out of the way, let’s do what I came here for.” She bent forward to kiss him, but he leaned back and removed her arms from his neck.
“No.” Sickened by the way Belle left, he sat on his couch with his head in his hands.
“Because of her? Seriously, Aleksandr?”
He racked his brain for ways to explain the situation to Belle. Then, remembering Tiffany’s attitude, looked up in anger.
“Why would you act like you came here to fuck me?” He suddenly couldn’t catch his breath, his chest heaved as he gasped for air.
“Because I did.” Her face a mask of confusion.
Why can’t I breathe?
“I reminded you the other night, we’re done. Like I’ve been telling you for weeks — it’s just her from now on.”
“Bullshit. It’s never been ‘just’ anyone. Stop acting like your world is over and come fuck me. I’ve had a long week.”
“STOP!” His yell reverberated off the walls.
She looked at him for a moment, stunned at his anger. “You’re serious?”
“I already told you I was.”
Her eyes narrowed as she spoke, “So what, you’re going to ‘settle down’?” Her tone mocking, she continued, “Marry her? Have babies? That isn’t you. You’re not the type to settle. Especially for someone like her.”
He looked at her with ice in his stare. “Someone like her?”
“Yes, Aleksandr. She’s pretty enough, but come on. I doubt she’s the type of girl who’s alright with an open relationship. She can never give you what you need. And we both know you aren’t capable of giving her what she needs.”
“What exactly does that mean?” Still gasping for air, he needed to get away.
“Sure, you can turn me down now. You can turn me down for the rest of your life. But you won’t be able to be monogamous. That’s not you. Never has been. People don’t change, Aleksandr.”
“People can change, Tiff. If they’re ready to.”
“No, they can’t. They can put their behaviors on pause, but it will always creep back in. You might be faithful for a while, but soon enough you’ll slip. It’s only a matter of time. You aren’t capable of actually loving someone enough to be faithful forever.”
He looked at her as she reached in her bag and grabbed a stack of papers, leaving them on his desk before walking towards the door.
“Here’s the contract, you know where to sign. I only came today to, well … come. Since that isn’t happening, you can take care of it yourself. I’m leaving. Good luck with what’s-her-face. Call me when it’s over.”
With that she walked out. Aleks stared after her for a few moments, her words creeping into his consciousness.
She was wrong. For the first time in his life, he wanted to have something with someone. He wanted to be faithful. He wanted to love Belle.
But with love comes responsibility, and the responsibility is to the other person. What if I do fuck up? What if I cheat?
In his mind, no other woman compared to Belle, but a sinking feeling formed in his gut. Tiffany’s words replayed — people can only change for a short time.
What if she’s right?
A crushing pain coursed through his chest. He was selfish and self-centered. He had always looked out for himself above all else. Could he really care about someone enough to truly change? Could he love her?
He already knew the answer.
I do. I love her.
His next thought was thick with sadness. I’ll never allow myself to hurt her.
A knock sounded on Belle’s bedroom door about an hour after she returned home. She opened it, knowing it would be him.
“Hi,” she said meekly.
Aleks took a few steps in the room and stopped.
Belle, not knowing what to do with herself, went and sat on the bed.
Aleks stood, starting at the floor for a while. Finally, he looked up at her.
“Tiffany is the PR representative who helped me with the penthouse ball the other night. I’ve worked with her on various projects — she worked with my father before I took over.”
He paused, gauging her reaction. When Belle didn’t say anything, he continued. “I asked her to meet with me today about setting up another event. I was planning on surprising you.”
She looked at him, questioningly. “I don’t understand. A surprise?”
“We’re opening your Burlesque club. I have the location and liquor and food licenses and was just finalizing details. I wanted her to help set up the grand opening. I thought it would be a good present to you,” he explained.
Belle looked at him, reading the truth in his eyes. The realization only replaced one misery with another; she had gone from imagining him cheating on her to the fear of realizing how much she cared for him. She needed him.
“I promise I didn’t call her to sleep with her. I haven’t been with her — haven’t been with anyone, since…”
Belle knew he alluded to the night months ago when she caught him in the act. Months, seems like so much longer.
She needed to tell him she loved him; knew he needed to hear it as much as she needed to believe he was honest with her. If they had any hope of a relationship, she needed to trust him. She stood, facing him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain. I … jumped to conclusions and I was wrong.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed him. He melted into her as she grabbed onto his hair. His kiss passionate, frenzied, desperate, yet different from times past.
He took her arms from around his neck and pulled away. He walked and sat on her bed, head in his hands, with the look of a man who just made the worst realization of his life. He looked … defeated.
“Belle I—” He swallowed before continuing. “I think we need to be honest with ourselves for a moment.”
Belle froze at his words, tongue thickening in her mouth, unable to form words of her own.
He continued.
“I keep hurting you. I keep fucking things up, and I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. I’ve tried changing, but it’s still not enough to make you happy. You’re never going to be able to trust me, and that’s all my fault. You have every right not to trust me.”
“What are you saying?”
“You need to go home.” He looked at her, his teeth clenching. “This isn’t working.”
Dizziness overwhelmed her. Her heart raced, and tears formed. No. No, no, no!
For the second time that day, she felt her heart breaking. “I want this to work; for us to work. I will trust you, I do trust you. I just—” She didn’t know how to finish.
He looked at her with genuine concern, which only made her heart hurt worse. “Belle, you’ve done nothing wrong. This is all my fault. You’ve changed as much as you can for me, much more than I deserve.”
She paused, as if hearing him for the first time. “But it’s … it’s not enough to make you happy,” she repeated his earlier statement.
His face seemed pained, but he didn’t correct her. “The club is yours, forever. Both of them. I’ll have the deeds signed over.” His voice broke as he spoke.
She had never heard him like this. She struggled to breathe as his words sank in. Whatever they had been, it was over.
“I don’t want this.” Tears brimmed. She went and stood between his legs, looking down at him as she cupped his face in her hands. “I want you.” She still couldn’t bring herself to say the words. I love you.
His hands met hers, holding them against him. “I don’t want this either. But I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t keep doi
ng this to you.”
She tried swallowing, her mouth too dry to function. She couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. She stood there, dumbfounded, tears falling down her cheeks.
After a moment he stood, taking her chin in his hand to look up at him as his hand ran through her hair. His lips parted as if to speak, yet he pulled her into his chest one final time, wrapping her in his warmth before turning and walking towards the door.
She sank to the bed, unable to stand any longer.
He paused in the doorway. “Belle, I…” he took a deep breath as he stared at her, a mix of emotions written on his face.
She knew he was about to walk away. Panic arose at the thought of not seeing him again.
“I’ll make sure you’re safe, always. I don’t want you to worry about Gabriel.”
She couldn’t force herself to care about Gabe, didn’t care what he would do to her. “Aleksandr, please … don’t do this.” She watched as he clenched his fists.
“I’ll have a driver ready to take you home whenever you’re ready.”
Her face twisted, the pain in her stomach so severe she wanted to crawl into a ball.
He looked at her for what seemed like an eternity. “I wanted it to be you, Belle. I really fucking did.” He turned and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.
Belle couldn’t stop herself — she fell against her pillows, allowing herself to sob.
Aleks left her room and headed for his home office. Seeing her distraught only made his decision worse, but it was the last time he would ever hurt her.
You’re not capable of loving her enough to be faithful forever. The words rang in his ears. Seeing her hurting gutted him.
She’ll never be able to trust me. Hell, I still can’t trust me. I can’t keep doing this to her. I won’t.
Alone in his office, Aleks picked up the phone. As much as he hated what he had done, he wouldn’t allow Belle to face any danger from Gabriel. He wouldn’t send her home without taking a few precautions. It would be like sending a lamb into the lion’s den.
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