I almost lost this. I almost lost Kate. I almost lost the woman I love. I turn to look at Kate again, then out of the corner of my eye, I see River take a piece of bacon off his plate and hold it out for Sadie, behind my back. She gently takes it from his fingers, then he pats her on the head.
After everyone’s done eating, Joss and Nina take a few empty plates, then head into the kitchen.
“Kate, I think we need to talk,” River says, as she takes the last bite of her bacon.
“Can it wait until Kate is feeling a little better?” I say, stand up, and take the seat where Joss was sitting.
“It’s alright, Cooper,” Kate says, then places her empty plate on the end table next to her.
“This won’t take long, I promise, then we’ll all get out of your hair and you can rest. Boss’s orders. I just need to get something out of the office first,” he says.
He stands, then walks down the hall and disappears into his office. I look at Cooper and shrug my shoulders, which I immediately regret and realize is a huge mistake. My shoulder is still extremely sore.
River walks back to the couch, runs his leg against the edge of the seat cushion, then sits down and places a folder on his lap.
“First, I want to say, I’m sorry for not believing in you and for the way I behaved . . .” he starts.
“River, it’s okay,” I butt in.
“No. No, it’s not.”
“River, please don’t think that I . . . I didn’t try to . . .” I start to say.
“I know you didn’t, and I don’t know why I didn’t see it, but I now clearly see that you’re not the same person anymore. You’ve changed and I failed to see it. I was so scared of losing you that I never stopped to feel the changes you’ve made. I do believe in you Kate, and I’ll never doubt that again. I know sometimes you think I’m an asshole, and you think I treat you like I’m your dad. The truth is, the day we lost our dad, I felt like I needed to fill those shoes. I felt like I needed to fill all of his shoes. Since that day, I’ve never left your side. When you hurt, I hurt. When someone hurt you, I wanted to hurt them. I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried, understand the feelings you were feeling and the thoughts running through your head. It was this giant, black, ominous thing that I couldn’t touch or demand to go away. I was powerless against it because it was bigger than both of us. I felt it surrounding you all the time and I felt weak against it. Weak was something I swore I would never be and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fix it for you. When I stepped foot in your apartment, I smelled it. Not the pungent smell of your vomit, but death itself. I smelled it all around you, consuming you. I couldn’t lose you. I wouldn’t let it take someone I love away from me ever again. I’ve been hard on you since then, too hard. I wanted to keep you as close as I could and control everything around you, so death could never touch you again. I was being selfish and I didn’t take your feelings into consideration. For that, I’m truly sorry. About Dad . . .” he starts.
“River,” I try to stop him.
He holds up his hand to stop me, swallows, takes a deep breath, then continues.
“Most of my life, I was so very angry at just about everything. I hated our father for how he treated us, and I dwelled on everything negative. Slowly, over the years, I let it take over and I became the person I hated most, or, at least, the person I thought I hated. I was so hell bent on hanging on to that anger that I pushed out everything good. When I met Joss, there were things, memories resurfacing, that I didn’t understand. I didn’t know if they were real or if I had made them up. Quickly, I found myself letting go of the anger and for the first time, I saw love. When you started seeing Cooper, I don’t know, something switched like a light and I was so quick to dredge back up all those memories. Kate, I’m so sorry and you’re right, dad did love us. He wasn’t perfect, but he had his own way of showing us his love, and he loved you so very much. I know how much you want to make him proud, so there’s this,” he finishes, then extends the folder to me.
“What is it?” I ask, then take the folder.
I open the folder and see several papers inside. I read the first paper and in large words at the top, it says ‘Termination of employment as a receptionist at Mason Group.’
“But, River . . .” I start as tears fill my eyes.
This isn’t what I want at all.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about your employment at Mason Group, and I’ve decided to make some changes,” he says.
“This isn’t what I want at all,” I say.
“River,” Cooper warns.
“I’m terminating your employment as the receptionist, to hire you in a pilot employee enrichment program. We employ many people at Mason Group and the job is extremely stressful. I’ve purchased the building two doors down from Mason Group and I’m . . . we’re opening Kate Mason Yoga. It will be an extension of Mason Group, made available by the company, for all employees to use for free. You’ll find an attached contract with Mason Group, that I think you’ll find extremely generous as compensation for your service. Of course, it will be open to the general public as well, and completely under your control. You will still keep your third of Mason Group, but be solely responsible for Kate Mason Yoga,” he says.
“How?” I start to ask.
“I heard from a little birdie that you’d love nothing more than to open your own studio. So, I put two-and-two together and came up with a selfish reason to open one,” he says with a cheesy smile.
I look at Cooper and smile. He’s the only person in the world I told that to.
“But, when did you have time to do all of this?” I ask in shock.
“When I want something, I don’t waste time. There’s more in the folder,” River says.
I flip to the next paper, and I see the contract between Kate Mason Yoga and Mason Group, to pay for my services and if I wasn’t so anxious to see what else is in here, I’d scream with excitement from the very generous numbers. I don’t think there’s anything better than finally making one of my dreams come true. The next paper I come to is the original petition to terminate River’s conservatorship, signed by the judge.
“River,” I whisper, as a tear falls down my cheek.
“Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m still going to be an asshole and watch you like a hawk. There’s one contingency. You must live in the pool house for the next year,” he says.
I don’t even hesitate to counter.
“Nine months,” I say.
“Ten months,” River counters.
I open my mouth to accept, but before I can say anything, Cooper says, “Six months.”
I quickly clamp my lips closed and whip my head toward Cooper.
“Who says you get a say in this?” River blasts in Cooper’s direction.
I cover my mouth and giggle. River sighs, then agrees, “Fine, six months. There’s one more piece of paper in there.”
I flip to the last page. I can’t imagine what else there could possibly be. River’s given me everything that’s been on my heart. I read the top of the last paper, it says ‘United States Dog Registry.’ Underneath that it says, ‘Emotional Support Dog Application.’ I don’t know what to say. More tears flow down my cheeks and my nose starts to run.
“The building requires this certificate to bring that mutt . . . I mean Sadie, with you to work every day,” River says.
Sadie lifts her head and barks a happy bark at River, then she looks at me and puts her paw on my leg, with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.
“Did you hear that, girl? You get to come with me to work,” I say, patting her on the head.
“We can negotiate Sadie’s salary later,” Cooper teases.
“When you’re feeling up to it, we can get started on setting up your new studio,” River says.
“We can start Monday,” I tell him.
“I’d argue with you and tell you that you need more time to heal, but something tells me I’d lose that fight, too,” he says, then gets up.
> His hand feels the couch in my direction. He runs it over Sadie’s head and gives her a pat, then he touches the side of my knee. His hand comes to the side of my face and he smiles at me.
“I love you, Kate,” he says.
I place my hand over his and press it to my cheek.
“I love you, too, River,” I tell him.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to talk to Joss,” he says, then leaves the room.
Cooper taps Sadie on the rump and says, “Move it. It’s my turn.”
Sadie groans, gets up, jumps off the couch, then lays on my feet on the floor.
Cooper sits down next to me, then he wraps his arm around me, and I place my head on his chest. I reach for my headphones by instinct, grab them, but stop and listen. I think about it for a second, then realize the only sound I hear is Cooper’s heart beating in his chest. I set them back down, then place my hand over his chest. Within minutes, I’m asleep.
I relax back into the couch, as my beautiful Kate sleeps peacefully in my arms, and my brave, fearless Sadie sleeps at her feet. She’s been sleeping for about an hour when Maddy walks up to me.
“Do either of you need anything? I’m going to head out for a little bit,” she says.
“No, we’re good, thank you,” I reply.
Kate stirs in my arms, then lifts her head.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up, Kate,” Maddy says.
“It’s alright,” she says, then sits up.”Oh, Maddy! I’m so sorry. Today is Saturday. We were supposed to do the photo shoot today,” she says, noticing the camera around Maddy’s neck.
“Honey, it’s fine. Nina agreed to help me, but I’m not letting you out of doing it. We will definitely reschedule,” she says, then bends down and gives Kate a gentle hug.
“Can you sit with Kate for a few minutes, Maddy? I should take Sadie for a walk,” I say, then Sadie picks her head up and looks at me like I’ve got to be joking.
She puts her head back down with a groan, not wanting to leave Kate’s side.
“Don’t get up. I can take her real quick,” Maddy offers.
“Thank you, but I need to stretch my legs a little. I’ll be right back. Come on Sadie, let’s go,” I call.
Sadie, of course, completely ignores me. I kiss Kate on the head, then remove my arm from around her. I grab her leash off the coffee table and clip it on to her collar. I give a gentle tug, and she reluctantly gets up with a dissatisfied groan.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I say, then head out the back wall of doors.
I stretch my arms up toward the sky and twist my neck from side to side. There’s nothing like the sky after a good storm. I stop at the railing and look out at the ocean. It’s a completely different scene than the one yesterday. Clean, puffy white clouds are formed in a crystal blue sky. The sun is bright and warm on my skin. We walk down the steps, then between the houses to the front lawn.
Joss’s catering van is sitting in the driveway and the back doors are wide open. That’s strange, there’s no one out here. I walk around the back and find Joss sitting on the back bumper, with her head on her arms on her knees.
“Joss,” I call, startling her.
She immediately lifts her head and wipes away tears from cheeks.
“Hey, Cooper,” she replies, sniffling.
“Are you alright?” I ask, concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she answers.
“Did you need me to go and find River?” I ask, pointing toward the house.
“No, he’s not here. Josh just took him to the office for a little bit,” she replies.
“Can I sit?” I ask, motioning to the empty space next to her with my finger.
“Sure,” she says, then scoots over to make more room for me.
I sit next to her and immediately Sadie senses Joss’s distress. She lays her head on Joss’s knee, instantly bringing a small smile to her face. Joss lifts her hand and pets Sadie’s head, while she looks up at her with those irresistible eyes. I let Sadie do her magic and don’t say a word to Joss. After a few minutes, the lines in her forehead soften and she takes a deep breath.
“After River had his talk with Kate, he said he needed to talk to you. Is he upset with you about something?” I finally ask.
“The opposite, actually. He apologized to me for fighting with me about Kate, and being so stubborn. He said I was right about everything. He poured out his heart, then he got down on his knees in front of me, wrapped his arms around me, and told me I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him in his life,” she says, petting Sadie.
“And that’s a bad thing?” I ask confused, wondering why she’s crying then.
“No, it’s a very good thing. I’m just having one of those girly moments. I love River more than anything in this world. He makes me so happy. He’s the one,” she says.
“The one?” I repeat, confused.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with River Mason,” she says with a smile.
“Oh, THE one,” I confirm.
“God, this dog is like magic,” she says, lays her head on Sadie’s, then gives her a kiss.
“That she is,” I confirm.
Sadie isn’t just magic to me. She saved the woman that’s THE one to me, too.
“Do you need anything?” Maddy asks, sitting next to me.
“I think I’m good,” I reply.
Maddy starts running her hands up and down the front of her thighs, so I look at her. Her red hair is cascading down the side of her head, obscuring her face. She removes one of her hands and wipes the side of her face, as if she were wiping away tears.
I lean forward to get a better look at her face and sure enough, she is crying.
“Maddy, what’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she replies, turning her head away.
“Maddy?” I question, quietly.
She wipes her face again and doesn’t answer me. I sigh and think about the words she said to me not that long ago.
“Alright, I’m going to say this once. I’m weird, socially awkward, extremely guarded, quiet, and I mostly keep to myself. I like you. I like you a lot. I’m not quite sure why, but I can feel it in my heart that we’re meant to be friends. So, I think you’re stuck with me and you’re just going to have to talk to me,” I paraphrase in my best Maddy voice.
Maddy’s tear stained face comes to me and she giggles, while more tears fall down her cheeks, then she covers her mouth with her hand.
“What is it?” I ask.
She covers her lips with her hands, as her eyes search mine and fill with fresh tears. I take her other hand and hold it in mine. Finally, she removes her hand from her mouth.
“I’ve never been so scared in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for Joss and Nina to the core, and I can’t ever thank them enough for taking me in, but you . . . when I thought you might be dead, my heart did something it’s never done before. It broke. If this is what it feels like deep in your soul to let love in, and then think it’s gone . . . I don’t want any part of it. It hurts too damn much,” she says, then gasps for air.
“Maddy,” I whisper.
“All of my life, no one has ever wanted me. You know those signs they have at firehouses and hospitals that say Safe Haven? I was one of those babies. I was dropped off, abandoned by my mother, probably without even a second thought, when I was only five days old. You’d think being an infant I’d get adopted right away by a loving family with a puppy and a white picket fence, but that’s not what happened. I was placed into the foster care system, and I was bounced around from home to home, until I aged out of the system when I was eighteen,” she says.
Tears fall down my cheeks as I look into her eyes, and what I saw the first day I met her becomes painfully clear.
“I ran away so many times, and I’ve even lived on the streets. I’ve worked my ass off stocking cans or cleaning yards for only a few dollars, so I could buy myself a hot meal and a w
arm sweater from the second-hand store, only to have it ripped off my body and stolen from me that night. I swore over the years that I’d always stay true to myself and no matter what it came down to, I was never going to sell myself . . . I’d rather die first. Everything I’ve ever worked for eventually is taken away from me. I’ve learned not to have emotions and to feel nothing in my heart, and above all to never like anything or anyone. That way it doesn’t hurt when it’s gone. Sooner or later, one way or another, it’s always gone. I wake up every day in Joss and Maddy’s beautiful house, and I go to a job I love, and my heart sings when I take photos. Even if it is with a camera that’s extremely outdated, partially broken, and cracked, still every day I wait for it all to be taken away. I met you and I let my guard down, it was just so easy to be your friend. Then, like everything else, I turned around and you were stolen away from me. I thought there was something really wrong with me when Joss told me you were missing. I felt this thing, these feelings, growing inside my chest and it physically hurt. I felt like I was going to be sick. I would have gladly sold my body, if it meant bringing you back and the pain in my chest would stop. The funny thing is, when I saw you standing in the doorway dripping wet, those feelings didn’t go away. If anything, they got worse. I’m used to things being taken away from me, but this, this was something new. You were given back and I felt this overwhelming sense of love. I can’t stop these feelings and, quite frankly, it’s pissing me off. I’m glad you’re alright, but I never meant to love you,” she says, then stops talking.
I knew there was something about Maddy that felt familiar. That kind of pain in your heart is a universal language. When it’s that real, that deep, it’s unmistakable. It doesn’t have to be the same kind of pain. Maddy and I are completely different, yet I understand her more than anyone.
Her eyes come to mine and I squeeze her hand.
“I never meant to love you either,” I whisper.
Maddy crashes into me and hugs me so tight, I almost can’t breathe. No amount of pain my body feels matters. I hug her back with everything I have in me.
I Hear...Love (A Different Road #2) Page 14